TOW The New Neighbours
By Sapphire-Beth

Hi! This is my first fanfic in my (other) mini series. It is set when just Joey knows about Chandler and Monica. I've invented the characters Silver,
Angel and Holly. I decided to try and create the neighbours from hell by making them really similar but different to the gang, making them as rude
and obnoxious as possible, and by kinda bringing back Emily. Email me with feedback at sapphire_beth@hotmail.com.
P.S. Thanks again to A-S-C 0:-) and N-P :-P for their help and criticism on
Ross's hair!

M+Rs. Everyone's there except Ro. There is really loud music coming from the apartment below, probably Savage Garden's 'Affirmation' (I love this song!)
(All yelling)
C: What on earth is that noise? What are those people doing down there?
P: Duh, listening to music.
J: Why is it so loud?
Ra: Don't know. When it goes quiet, for like, five minutes, we go down there to yell and they're not in. (music stops)
M: Okay, go yell at them Chandler.
C: Why me?
P: Cause if one of us girls goes down they won't listen, Ross isn't here, and it's some girls, so Joey'd just flirt with them. (C groans)Corridor outside no. 8. C knocks. A girl (Angel) answers.
A: Um, hi can we help you? (Another girl (Silver) walks up to the door. Both girls are about 22-23 and are English)
C: I'm Chandler from upstairs... (cut off)
S: Okay, you're a weirdo. What kinda freak is called Chandler!?!
A: 'Kay, bye! (Slam door in C's face)
Credits-Don't forget to clap!
Scene-Central Perk. Everyone there except J
S(obviously she's a new waitress): Kay, can I get you any... (sees Ro)Woah! You need a haircut!(sees C) Oh, and you're the freaky guy from upstairs!
Ra: Hey, are you from Britain?
S: (With fake English accent) Oh ya, spiffing, tally-ho, jolly-hockey-sticks, teacakes, crumpets, ask the audience, phone a friend!(storms out)
(A walks over)
A: Ignore her. She gets very stressed sometimes. So, can I get you anything (pauses) Woah, Silver was right. (To Ro) Do you wash your hair in a chip pan? (Wanders off)
Ro: Isn't there anywhere else we can go? Do I have to take verbal abuse from some British kids? It has not been a good month. I've just had my second divorce and I'm 30!
A(Interjecting, knowing): Ooh yes. And by the way, we are English, not British.
M(Impatient): Are you gonna be here all day?
A: No, I'm gonna go see my friend who you have EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED! (J walks in as A walks out)
J: How you doin'? (A giggles and leavers) Hey guys guess what?
C: You fought Pete and became the ultimate fighting champion?
P: You're getting an Eagle called Edwin so Yasmine and Dick can have company?
M: You've had a brain transplant?
Ra: You've destroyed Chandler's sweater vests?
Ro: You've got an audition for the lead in the biggest movie of all time?
J: How'd you know Ross?
Ra: Oh my god, Joey! What's the movie about?
J: Well, its called Amigos. It's about these six twentysomethings who live in New York. I play Tony, the really bad constantly unemployed actor. There's also Hannah, Jennie, Jack, Eddie and Isobella. Hannah and Eddie have had a secret relationship since Jack's failed wedding to Tina. Hannah and Jack are brother and sister. Isobella is a psychic and Jennie and Jack used to date. Ooh, and, if the movie goes well, they'll make a TV series!
C: Joey, doesn't that sound familiar somehow?
J(dumb):Yeah, but I don't know where I've heard it before.
M: Oh my God, Joey! It's our life story! (hurriedly)Except for the Hannah and Eddie bit. Do you have any idea why?
J: Erm, no, but I can find out!(jumps up and leaves)
Scene-M+Rs. Everyone is there except J. Really loud music can be heard from below. Now its 'Summer of Love' by Steps. It stops. A few seconds later there is some banging on the door. M answers. It is S from downstairs. She is carrying a bottle of water.
S: Um, hi. Do you know Ross Geller?
M: Yeah, why?
S: Well, my roommate Angel wants to talk to him.
Ro: She that other new waitress?
S: Yup.
Ro: I'm not talking to her. She said I wash my hair in a chip pan. What is a chip pan anyway?
S: Deep fat fryer. Anyway, you really need to talk to her.
Ro: Why?
S: Well, Angel is Emily Waltham's cousin.
Ro: Can you tell her I'll talk to her later?
S: No. Oh, and stop the stomping. We can't hear the music.
Ra: That's a surprise.
M: You turn your music down, we don't stomp.
S(mad): Why? It's our stereo.(leaves)
P: I don't know if I speak for everybody here, but I don't like your new neighbours.
S(returns; to M): Oh, btw, your hair looks a little greasy too. Maybe you should wash it. (pours water in bottle over M who is still standing by the door) This means war. Bye!(leaves again)
Scene-Central Perk. Another English girl H(olly) walks in. M and Ra are on couch.
H(flops on couch): Oh my god. I've just had the worst day ever. I can't get and apartment anywhere. Can I please please please please stay with you guys? Please? (Pauses) Hey, you're not Angel and Silver. Where are they?
Ra: You mean the blonde related to Emily Waltham?
M(mad from earlier): And the really bitchy one with dark hair?
H: Yeah, that sounds like them. Silver is very unpredictable.
Ra: We worked that one out. They're behind the counter somewhere.
H(chirpy): Okay, thanks, bye! (Aside) What a pair of whingy cows. (leaves)
Ra: God, is England moving here? These people are SO annoying!
M: At least one of them didn't try to give you a SHOWER earlier.
(C,J,P+Ro come bursting in)
P: Hey, guys! We know why the movie's about us!
Ro: It was co-written and will be co-directed by...
C: Janice
J: Kathy
Ro: Richard
P: Ryan my sailor guy
C: And Barry.
Ra(realising): Oh, my god! That's probably why Emily's coming over! What is this, the ex-es revenge?
P: Probably.
M: Okay, what are we going to do? Audition for the movie and freak everyone out, or wait until the movies released and sue for thousands of dollars?
R(quickly): each. Thousands of dollars each.
Ro: I think we should just talk to them.
M: Yeah, but you're a wuss.
Ro: What about my rage?
Ra: Um, okay, how about 'Yeah, but you're a psycho'? (A walks over)
A: Can I get you any...
C/M/J/P/R/R: NO!
C: The service hasn't been this bad since Rachel worked here.
Ra: Excuse me? I was not a bad waitress.
Ro: Rach, we ordered the same drinks every single day and sit in the same place every single day.  And you STILL got it wrong!
P: No, Rachel's right. There's no way she's as bad as the English people.
But I love their accents!
Scene-Corridor outside no. 8. Ro knocks. A answers.
A: And what do you want?
Ro: You wanted to see me?
A: Oh yeah. Emily's coming over to visit in about a month. And she's really desperate to talk to you. It's urgent, but she needs to see you in person. This isn't really a phone thing.
Ro: Why? Do you know?
A: Yeah but I'm not going to tell you. Bye. (Slams door in Ro's face)
Scene-Central Perk. Whole gang. Everyone except J gets up and leaves. S and
A walk over.
S: Hi.
A: Hi
S: How long have those two been dating?
J(playing dumb): Which two?
A: The one with the stupid name and the one she poured water over.
J: Chandler and Monica?
A: Probably.
J(denial, denial, denial!): They're not dating!
S: Please! It's so obvious. So, what's with the denial?
J(conspiritally): Okay, cos Ross is Mon's brother, and Chandler's Ross's best friend, and everyone  would freak out if they knew, so it's a secret.
A: Not any more. (Dah, dah, dah, dah, DAH!)
End teaser
Scene-M+Rs. Everyone there. Knock on door. R gets it. It's H.
H: Um, hi, can you do me a favour?
R(mimicking): Um, hi, what?
H: Can I come in.
R: Sure
H(stands next to the table and jumps): Thanks! Angel flipped pancakes onto the ceiling. Bye! (leaves)

PS: Sorry I used my characters so much! I just needed to introduce them before they could go ahead, start being annoying, and fade into the scenery like Gunther.