(Scene: Central Perk)

Rachel, Joey and Ross are there.

Pheobe: Hey guys (entering)

Ross: Hey Pheebs, where's the paper guy?

Pheobe: Don't get me startedon that jerk!

Rachel: (looking in a book) Wow, look at this, you can win a contest for a trip to Hawaii! All you have to do is write in and say why you and your brother deserve a week in Hawaii.

Joey: Cool. But you don't have a brother.

Rachel: Hey, you could be my brother!

Pheobe: Hey that would be cool.

Ross: Maybe me and Monica should enter.

Joey: (looks at Ross as if he's dumb) No me and Rachel are entering. (to Rachel) IS this guy dumb?

Rachel: Speaking of Monica, have you seen Monica today?

Pheobe: No, but I think today is the day she goes to the doctor to see . . .

Chandler enters

Chandler: (sad) Hey guys.

Joey: Hey man, stop it, you sound like Ross.

Ross: I'm here you know.

Joey: (realizes Ross is there) I know.

Chandler: (Sits down) Monica hasn't talked to me since the other night when she said she thought she was pregnant, I hate living with Ross. His apartment smells like dinosaur. It's like he has some kind of spray.

Ross: (looks sheepish) You can only get it at this one place . .

Rachel: Oh my god. . . your a geek.

OPENING CREDITS

(Scene: Monica's, Monica is pacing in the kitchen)

Monica: Idiot, idiot, idiot. (hits herself on the head out of agression) Ouch, that hurts! (grabs her head)

Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica.

Monica: (still holding head) Hey.

Chandler: Look I want you to know that whatever happens I am here for you. (starts to ramble) And I want to look after whatever baby we may have, we could move to a huge house, or re-decorate the apartment, make a baby room -

Monica: (interupting) I'm not pregnant.

Chandler: Oh. I see.

Pheobe: (entering) Hey guys. What's up? (sensing something) Oh I don't want to be here! (leaves)

Monica: I need to go get some air. (walks out to the balcony)

(Cut to hallway: Ross is coming)

Pheobe: Hey Ross, your not going ot see MOnica are you?

Ross: Yeah, why?

Pheobe: Chandler and her are talking.

Ross: (heads to Monica's door) What's going on? Maybe I should talk to them.

Pheobe: Ross, maybe you should careless.

Ross: What?

Pheobe: I could careless, so should you. Ross, your always getting into other people's' business, you should stop trying to solve everyone else's problems.

Ross: (laughs) I don't get into everyone's problems.

Joey: (opening his door) Hey Ross, Rachel and me are fighting over who should be our parents favorite, what do you think?

Pheobe: See.

Ross: Joey, I could careless! (walks off)

Joey: Geek?

Pheobe: Yeah.

(Scene: Monica's: Monica is sitting on the couch and looks pretty upset)

Rachel: Mon? (entering) Do you think Joe and me deserve a trip to Hawaii because I'm overworked and Joey's unemployed, or because Joey's overworked and I'm unemployed? (sees she's upset) Oh Mon, what's wrong? (walks over to the couch and puts her arm around Monica)

Monica: I'm not pregnant and I think Chandler's still mad, he just left, and- and - and - I'm a mess. (bawls)

Rachel: No you're not.

Joey: (enters) Rach? Oh what's the matter Mon?

Monica: Do you know where Chandler went?

Joey: I think he mentioned something about baby, I don't know.

Monica: Oh. (gets up and runs out of apartment, grabbing her jacket on the way, knocking over a flower pot on the way out)

Joey: Wow. She didn't even clean it up.

Rachel: Maybe we should clean it up.

Joey: Yeah maybe . . . (pause) Hey Rach, I've got an idea!

Rach: What?

Joey: We could say we have no parents!

Rach: That's just wrong.

Monica: (entering) Who am I kidding? (starts cleaning stuff up)

(Scene: a baby type store with baby stuff everywhere, Chandler is looking at some baby stuff)

Ross: (entering, to lady at the counter) Didn't this used to be a palentology store? (Woman gives him a confused look and walks away) (sees Chandler) Chandler?

Chandler: Hey Ross.

Ross: What the hell are you doing here? (Chandler starts to explain) No, no I don't want to know! I don't care!

Chandler: What?

Pheobe: (entering) Ross, are you getting into Chandler's personal life?

Ross: No! I am not! (leaves)

Pheobe: (yelling) Geller get your ASS BACK HERE NOW! (tons of babies start crying) Sorry, sorry!

Monica: (entering) Chandler?

Chandler: Hey Monica. I'm sorry for runnign out before, but I just had to come and buy you some baby stuff!

Monica: Uh, Chandler, I told you I wasn't pregnant.

Chandler: Monica, do you want to keep lying to me?

Monica: What?

Chandler: I've know you for like (starts totry to figure it out in his head) for like-ever, and I know when you're lying to me. You are pregnant!

Monica: Oh Chandler, don't be mad, it's just that I was confused and I didn't want you to be mad.

Chandler: (takes her hand) I'm not mad.

Monica: Wow, I cant beleive you know me that well.

Chandler: Yeah well, your doctor called after you went to the balcony.

(Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch)

Rachel and Joey enter

Joey: Hey Ross, hows it going?

Ross: Fine. (ignoring them)

Rachel: How come Pheobe is sitting over there? (we see Pheobe sitting at a table on the other side of the coffee house looking over at them)

Ross: It's a long story.

Joey: Well we gave in our entry about 15 minutes ago.

Ross: You don't seem to happy about it.

Joey: Well our essay it . . .

Rachel: It lacked the kind of . . .

Joey and Rachel: It sucks.

Rachel: Here read this copy of it. (hands him a copy)

Ross: (reading) Our names are Rachel and Joey Tribbianni. We want this trip really badly, because we have no parents. Joey works 15 hours a day. Rachel is unemployed and wears old clothes that she buys at Shop-and-Save-Fashions. We really need a good vacation. Thank you. Rachel and Joey Tribbianni. (finished) Do you want to know what I think - wait, no you don't. (turns away)

Pheobe: (walks over) I'm lonely over there. (sits down)

Rachel: Why are you so insensitive these days Ross?

Joey: Yeah, your all rude and not caring.

Pheobe: Yeah, what's with that Ross?

Ross: (glares at Pheobe) You guys like that I'm always butting into your problems?

Joey: Yeah.

Ross: See Pheobe told me I should mind my own business and "careless".

Rachel: Wait, has Pheobe been bothering you about this for like the past two days?

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Wouldn't that mean she was getting into your problems?

Pheobe: (realizes) Ohhhh. So that means I am just like you (points at Ross) (Gets freaked out) Oh god no! (runs off to bathroom)

(Scene: Chandler and Monica's there are baby stuff boxes everywhere)

Pheobe, Ross, Joey and Rachel enter.

Pheobe: What happened here?

Ross: Monica?

Rachel: Chandler?

Joey: Rachel? (suddenly realizes) Oh, we weren't playing that game.

They all walk towards the "guest room".

Inside the guest room there is a crib, a baby monitor and all sorts of baby stuff.

Pheobe: Oh my god.

Rachel: I guess Monica is pregnant.

Joey: Oh no.

Ross: What?

Joey: Do you know what this means? She's gonna get all fat and stuff.

Rachel: So?

Joey: That means she'll be like sitting on the couch and making us do stuff for her and she's not going to cook and do stuff for us, we're not going to be taken care of anymore. Who's going to take care of us?

Everyone is like "oh no", they don't know but Monica and Chandler are standing in the doorway.

Monica: (sarcastic) I'm glad everyone is happy for me!

Everyone is like "no we didn't mean it" "we were just kidding" blah blah.

Everyone then gives hugs and Congratulations etc.

Monica leaves.

Chandler: (worried) What are we going to do, cook for ourselves?

Closing Credits:

(Scene: Central Perk: Pheobe is sitting at a table)

Two guys are talking at a table near her.

Guy 1: So I told my boss he didn't need me anymore obviously and I quit!

Guy 2: What did he say?

Guy 1: He told me I was right and that I should leave.

Guy 2: So what are youg oing to do?

Pheobe: (walks up to the two guys) Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I don't care, I DON'T!

THE END