Scene 1:Ross is sleeping in his apartment
Ross:[Dreaming] Oh, Rachel! You are just too much! No...oh...wait...huh,
what? What happened? Huh? [Gasp] I made you
pregnant? No! I know I slept with you, but...what? It's a baby girl?
No! This has gotta to be a dream...I am dreaming....no!
[Wakes up in a cold sweat] [Looks around his apartment and tries to
find Rachel, but couldn't.] Rachel! Rach, where are you?
I love you honey! Rach? Guess what? Ben has a sister now! [He feels
he is hot, and he starts realizing he is perspiring] Ohgod!
I am sweating and I'm not even having sex! [Collapses onto his bed]
Scene 2:Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast in their apartment
Rachel:So, Mon, when is your chef audition? Y'know you want to be the next Julia Fairchild!
Monica:Ohgod! Your reminding me again! This whole chef thing is making
me nervous! I mean, I have to cook this
complicated dessert in front of a million of people, in what? Fifteen
minutes? I mean if you do even one more minute, they think
your not competent enough to be a chef? I mean, c'mon!
Joey:[Walks in] Hey guys!
Rachel & Monica:Hey, Joe!
Joey:Hey, guys, you won't guess what just happened to me! Something good happened to ol'Joey here! [He is licking a lollipop as he gestures at Rachel & Monica to guess]
Rachel:What, Joey? You found how many licks it takes to get to a Tootsie
Roll center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? I mean, nobody
eats a lollipop at 8:30 in the morning.
Joey:[Smiles] Hey, uh.. yeah Rach, I do want to know how many licks
it takes. [Pause as he contemplates that] Maybe, I will
do that in my sleep instead of counting sheep! Y'know? I mean counting
sheep is boring! All they do is...
Monica:Uh, Joe, can you make it quick because I need to get ready for
my chef audition this afternoon. And, I don't even
know what I am going to wear!
Rachel:Why, Monica? I mean, don't all chefs wear the same thing? They
all wear this white suit with this big white cap on their
head! You don't need to worry about that!
Joey:Okay, I will make it quick! My agent just got me a modeling job!
[Shouting happily]
Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe:[Comes in] Hey, guys!
Chandler:Sheesh Joe, you didn't have to wake up the whole apartment!
[Sounds of the chick and the duck quacking and
walking to R&M's apartment] And, the chick and the duck too! Hey...the
chick is the one that is supposed to wake us up! He's the rooster of New
York City!
Phoebe:Yeah, I agree with Chandler! You interrupted my sleeping aura! I was really starting to connect with myself! Y'know? I finally started to understand myself!
Rachel:Really, Pheebs? I mean that would be so cool if you did!
Phoebe:No! Cause Joey here interrupted it! Now, I do not understand myself at all! Nada, zilch, zulch,uh-huh, no way!
Joey:[Sheepisly] Sorry, guys! [Chick and the duck quacking] And, sorry
you guys too! I was just so excited that I get another
chance as a model! I mean, the last one didn't work out for me. Y'know?
No way did I have V.D.!
[Shakes his head as to make a point]
Gang: [Laughing]
Ross: [Still laughing] Uh...really Joey? I mean, you don't know what Mario isn't telling you!
Chandler:[Laughing] Hey, y'know what? [Looks around at the gang] That
was more funny when we heard it the first time!
[Stops laughing]
Joey:Oh, thank you Chandler! I love you man! [Goes over to hug him]
Chandler:Hey... don't give me syphillis while you're at it! [Moves away]
Scene3:Chandler and Joey's apartment
Ross:[Drinking a cola] Uh..guys, there is something I need to tell you.
[Chandler and Joey are intent on watching BayWatch]
[Sighs] It's about Rachel...I dreamed about her.
Joey:Uh..wait..Ross. This is the good part. This is where she applies
sunblock to her body. [Watches with a smile] Ooh...man.
you gotta see it to believe it!
Chandler:Joey, you watched this episode millions of times, okay? It's
just a hot babe putting sublock on her body...[Watches]
Hey, I didn't even know you can go down that far. [Slaps Joey] [Smiles
as he sits down] I gotta hand it to you man, you really
know your Baywatch babes.
Joey:[Joey smiles and slaps him]Yeah, Chan my man! Nothing is going to be better than this.
Ross:[Still trying to get their attention]Uh...guys, I dreamed that I made Rachel...pregnant.
Chandler & Joey:[Turns around immediately] Woah!
Joey:Hey, how come you didn't tell us sooner, Ross? This is like big news!
Chandler:It's only a dream, Joey! I mean, I know this 'big stuff' wouldn't even happen in real life!
Ross:[Nervous laughter] Uh...why, Chandler may I ask? Don't you think Rachel and I have the stuff to do it?
Chandler:No, it's seems like you and Rachel never seem to get along
with each other. Y'know? You're always fighting, while
we are always in the middle of it, and it never stops, it never ends
[Getting fed up] ohh.. I need to go the bathroom. [Gets up
and slams the door]
Ross:So, Joe, do you believe Chandler or me?
Joey:Ohh! [Whining] Now, that Chandler is gone, you are picking on me!
Ross:[Rolls his eyes and sighs] Joey! You've gotta help me! I don't
know if I should tell Rach this, y'know? What if she thinks
I'm crazy? Like, I really want a baby, and I'm actually dreaming about
it. [Sits down on the other recliner next to Joey]
Ohh..[Puts his face in his hands] I hate how the subconscious mind
plays tricks on you while you have no control over!
Y'know? [Silence] Joey?
Joey:[Watching BayWatch again] Hey, Ross. Do you think this babe is hot or what? I wouldn't mind dreaming about her! [Glances at Ross suggestively] If y'know what I mean?
Chandler:[Notices the silence] [Gets out of the bathroom]Yes! The dream
is over! Now, Ross, let Joey and I watch
BabeWatch in peace. [Stops himself] No! Ross, you are now getting on
my nerves! Your little Rachel story has invaded my subconscious and I now
cannot think clearly enough!
Ross:Sorry, Chandler! I know, it's just a dream, and I shouldn't have told you guys. I mean, guys don't tell each other what they dreamed. I mean, it's a girl thing to do, y'know? [Pauses] Maybe, I should tell Monica. Yeah...she'll understand. Thanks you guys! [Starts to leave]
Joey:Hey, Chandler. Did Ross say something?
Scene 4:The whole gang is at Central Perk
Monica:Okay, so the judges loved my strawberry tartlette, and they told
me to come back tomorrow. It's kind of like a
call-back for this audition.
[Gets her coffee from the table]
Gang:Oh, that's great Monica! [Hugs and slaps]
Rachel:Congratulations Mon! I knew you could do it! So, how long did it take you to make it?
Monica:It actually took me a lot faster than I thought it would be. That's probably why they loved it so much.
Phoebe:Okay, let's talk about me! [All look at her] [Laughs] Okay! This is fun! Uh...oh yeah! [Pauses] Oh...nothing, I just like people giving me their undivided attention! [Sips her coffee]
Rachel:So, Ross remember our date tonight? Don't forget a movie followed by a [Whispers in Ross' ear] romantic candlelight dinner! [Smiles]
Ross:Oh! Uh...yeah...Rach! I would try to remember! [Nervous laugh] [Toys with the sofa] It's not like we are going to make out afterwards. Y' know? I mean, we are so not going to do that!
Chandler:Hey, now you are starting to talk like me! See, your dream is starting to invade my subconscious!
Rachel:Uh...Ross, what dream? And, what are you talking about 'making out?'
Joey:Uh-oh!
Gang:[Everybody stares at him]
Joey:Hey, I just remembered it is time for the chick and the duck's naptime!
[Gets up and leaves]
Rachel:Honey, what dream? [Plays with his hair] You know you could tell me. We tell each other everything.
Ross:Uhh...Rach. You really want to know? [Rachel nods] Uh..here goes!
Last night, I had this dream. And, I uh...dreamed
about you and I. [Rachel smiles] And, we are uh...making out. And,
I learned that uh...I made you..pr-eg-na-nt. [Nervously
rips at the couch]
Gunther:[Notices Ross ripping of the couch] Hey, Ross. Those cost hundreds of dollars. If you want to pay for a brand new one, be my guest!
Chandler:It's alright, Gunther. Ross only does that as a subsitute for one of us. [Ross glares at him] See what I mean?
Rachel:You dreamed that you made me pregnant? Ross, you didn't have to hide that from me! It's not like that's going to happen in real life, y'know? I mean the closest we ever got was sleeping with our clothes on. [Laughs nervously]
Phoebe:Yeah, Ross. She's telling the truth, you've gotta believe her.
I mean, I believe her, yeah! [Ross glares at her] Okay, this
is so not fun!
Monica:Ross, sweetie, it's just a dream! Something happening to you
while you're sleeping which you have no control over.
Don't worry about it. [Rubs Ross' knee]
Chandler:Yeah, Monica's right. It seems to me, that you really want this whole thing to happen. Y'know? So, you tell your mind to dream about this, and voila, you dreamed about Rachel being pregnant.
Rachel:So, Ross. Did you really want this whole thing to happen?
Ross:I don't know, okay? I mean having a baby is a really big thing. You have to care for them, feed them, clothe them, and love them. I don't know if I am ready for this kind of thing, y'know? Even with having Ben, I was surprised at being a father. Even though it belongs to Carol and Susan, I am still not ready yet. I'm sorry Rach. [Hugs her]
[Silence]
Phoebe:It's kind of like Ross in a nutshell, huh? [Everybody stares at her] Okay, I gotta stop doing this, this is so not fun!
Scene5:Ross is taking care of Ben in Carol and Susan's apartment
Carol:Thank you so much, Ross for taking care of Ben. Susan is at a PTA meeting, and I don't know how I can handle him myself.
Ross:Oh, thanks Carol. Uhh...I didn't come over here just for Ben. I...uh..need to talk to you about something...It's about my current relationship with Rachel.
Carol:Oh, no Ross. Don't tell me you guys broke up again! I thought things were going so well between you two!
Ross:No, Carol.Things are going really well between us. [Lowers his voice] Too well in fact.
Carol:[Goes over to hug him] Ohhh...Ross, congratulations! That is good news. Now, what can be wrong with that?
Ross:[Plays with Ben] I don't know...it's just that...[Sighs] last night I dreamed...about making Rachel...pregnant. And, now that I told her, I don't know if it's what I really want, y'know?
Carol:I know Ross, but remember how happy you were when you found out that you were a father to Ben. You were so proud of yourself, that you couldn't wait to take care of him. Just like you are now. [Smiles at him and Ben]
Ross:[Takes a deep breath] Thank you, Carol. You are the greatest. [Kisses her] But, I still don't know. I mean having another baby is a big step for me. I mean, constant around the clock care for a baby, I don't know if I am up to that. What if I'm not a good father? Huh? I mean, what if I screw up, and Rachel gets mad at me?
Carol:Ross, you are too hard on yourself! Relax and calm down! I can already tell you are going to be a good, loving father to Ben, and a wonderful husband to Rachel. C'mon, you deserve it Ross. [Hugs him]
Ross:Oh, thank you Carol again! You are the best friend a guy could ever have. [Kisses and hugs her]
Carol:Thank you, Ross. Now go out there and be a man!
Scene6:Joey is getting ready for the photo shoot in C&J's apartment
Joey:So, Chan my man what do you think of me Joey Tribbiani model?
Chandler:Oh..Joe.. I think you would be a stunning piece of work!
Joey:Aw...shucks..thanks..I love you man! [Hugs him]
Chandler:Hey, thanks. Are you sure you don't have syphillis?
Joey:[Sighs and shakes his head] Hey, Chandler. Can you please give this V.D. joke up? I mean it is pretty old. Plus, I need to concentrate on this modeling gig, I don't want to screw it up like last time. Okay? Cut me some slack.
Chandler:Okay, I'm sorry man. I wish you luck and I hope they don't screw it up either.
Joey:Thanks Chandler. [Composes himself] [Takes a deep breath] Okay...I gotta focus, focus on being a model. Okay...here goes. Bye, Chandler...I will catch you later with all the details.
Chandler:Okay, see ya! [Joey leaves]
Scene 7:Monica and Phoebe enters with a cake
Monica:Okay, Chandler, I just finished baking this cake and I want you to be the first to sample this. [Cuts him a slice]
Chandler:Are you sure? I mean you didn't let any of the others try it
out. What if it's all crusty, and gross and a cake with no
flavor? How would you feel tomorrow when you give it to the judges?
Phoebe:Yeah, Chandler. That is why we are giving you the honor of trying this cake out. C'mon....you can just nibble this. [Chandler nibbles]
Monica:You can take a bigger nibble than that Chandler. It's not going to kill you.
Chandler:[Takes a bigger nibble] Ooohh! This does taste good Monica!
This cake actually have real strawberry in it! No
artifical flavoring...[Takes another bite] yeah..this is good! [Smiles
at her with cake smudges on his mouth] I am going to save
this for dessert. [Puts it in the refrigerator]
Monica:But, aren't you going to finish it? [Glances at Phoebe]
Phoebe:Yeah...Chandler since you said it was good, why don't eat it all up now? You don't want to lose that delicious cake taste you have now! [Scoops some frosting from the cake and licks her finger] Yummy! Chandler is right, this is good! C'mon eat some Chandler!
Chandler:And ruin my appetite for dinner? No way! I thought we were trained as kids to understand that there is no dessert before dinner, otherwise, how could we have ever survived our parents cooking?
Monica:Chandler, finish it. We are going to stay here until you finish your slice.
Phoebe:Yeah...so stick a spoon in it and eat it.
Chandler:I don't understand why you guys are so intent on making me finish it. If its' good, isn't that good enough?
[Ross enters]
Ross:Hey, guys. I just talked to Carol and she told me that I am indeed ready, and I should tell Rachel that.
[Rachel enters]
Rachel:Tell, Rachel what? [Looks at the cake] Ooohh! Can I eat that cake too?
Chandler:Hey, Rach...you better finish that, otherwise their not going to let you eat your dinner.
Phoebe:Yeah, so eat it girl!
Rachel:Okay...[Cuts a slice for herself] So, Ross..what is it you want to talk to me about? Is it about the 'dream?'
Ross:Uhhh...I went over to Carol's today. And, she told me that if I
am indeed ready, I should tell you. [Monica cuts Ross a
slice] Thank you, Mon.
[Puts it on a table]
Rachel:So, are you ready? I mean we got the whole night to ourselves
tonight. [Smiles at Ross] [Also puts her slice on the
table]
Monica:[Fed up] Aren't you guys going to eat my cake? You said it was good, why don't you finish it?
Chandler:Okay...if it would make you feel better Mom..[sarcastically]
I will finish it. But, don't tell me that I didn't warn you!
[Quickly finishes it]
Monica & Phoebe:[Giggles and whispers] Ohmygod Chandler!
Chandler:What? What? Ohmygod what?
Monica:This is the first time you ever listened to me! All those times, you just blew me off and you always want your way. But, this time you actually listened to me. [Smiles]
Phoebe:Yeah...but that isn't the only reason we made you guys finish this cake. This is a surprise cake!
Rachel:Uh..Pheebs what do you mean a surprise cake? Is someone gonna jump out of the cake and yell, "Surprise!"
Phoebe:No, Rachel! Monica made this cake because she needs an assistant chef for tomorrow's audition. So, she made the cake to try to persuade us to help her. But, I off the hook! [Giggles and licks some frosting from the cake]
Ross:What? Mon what are you trying to make us do?
Chandler:Yeah, don't trick us into eating this just for bribery. I mean that is so unlike you.
Monica:Okay! I will explain everything, just listen! Okay...my boss called and he told me that I need an assistant chef for tomorrow's audition. Y'know to make it seem like I already got the job as chef of this cooking show, and since I don't want to just choose one of you guys. I decided to bake a cake with a little suprise note in one of the slices.
Phoebe:Ohhh! Can I finish? [Monica nods] Okay! We made you guys finish the cake so we can know who is going to be Monica's assistant chef for tomorrow. So, whoever has a little note inside their cake is going to help Monica tomorrow!
Chandler:Well, uhh..Mon? If we finished the cake already, how are we going to tell?
Ross:Yeah, Mon. I mean since we all ate our slices, the little note would already be digested already.
Rachel:[Makes a disgusted face] Eeeew! Monica! I just ate something
that shouldn't belong in my stomach! Oohh! You are so
gonna get it!
Monica:So, you guys are sure you didn't see or eat the little note? Because, Phoebe' slice didn't have it. Then who would be my assistant chef for tomorrow?
[Joey enters]
Joey:Hey guys! [Notices the remaining cake slice] Oooh!! Thank you guys
for celebrating Joey Tribbiani model extraordinaire!
[Smiles] [Bites into it] Ummm...this cake is good! [Elongates the word]
[Chandler notices the note in Joey's slice] [Gestures and tells him]
Chandler:Hey, Joe. There is something in your cake.
Joey:What Chandler? [Bites into the paper] Ooohh! It tastes like there's an eggshell in here. Who cares? [Finishes the cake] Can I have some more? [Like a little child]
Gang:[Laughs] Ohmygosh Joey!
Joey:What? I am hungry and what's wrong with dessert before dinner?
Chandler:Don't tell me that I didn't warn Joe my man!
Monica:Joey, let me explain. I need an assistant chef for tomorrow's audition. And, I baked a cake with this little note inside. I made you guys finish it. The catch is, whoever ate the cake with the little note inside, would be the assistant chef. And, Joe my boy you would be cookin' with me tomorrow! [Smiles]
Phoebe:Congratulations Joey!
Rachel:Hey! This means that I did eat something that belonged in my stomach! Yes!
Joey:Very funny guys! I just got back from my photo shoot and this is
how you greet me? Excuse me, but I thought you guys would be more receptive
to my feelings here? I had to stand around for an hour with nothing to
do except imagine being naked
in a tropical island.
Ross:What's wrong with that?
Chandler:Yeah, Joey. You watch BayWatch, you could just imagine being naked with those babes and believe me, you would have no problem, I tell you that!
Rachel:Uhh..Ross it's getting late and we still need to get ready for our date. [Starts walking to her apartment]
Ross:Okay, Rach! See you guys! [Starts to leave]
Gang:Bye guys, have fun!
Phoebe:Ohhh..I think I should go home too. I need to get up really early tomorrow morning.
Monica:Why, Pheebs? I thought you didn't need to go to your massuse office until 10.
Phoebe:Yeah...but since our practice is expanding, we need to change our hours too. Which means we could get more clients, and more money, and more oh-loving back rubs, from yours truly. [Giggles] I gotta go now, guys bye!
Gang:Bye, Pheebs!
Joey:Okay, I gotta take a shower and then it's Baywatch time, yeah baby! [Shakes his head] OOhh..I gotta stop talking like him!
Monica:Okay...I have to go too. I still need to get ready for my audition tomorrow. See ya Chandler!
Chandler:Okay, bye Mon! [Calls to Joey] Hey, Joe Baywatch is on in like five minutes! Hurry up!
Joey:Okay, Chandler! Just let me finish singing this song!
Scene8:Monica is waking Joey up in C&J's apartment
Monica:Joey, my audition starts in half an hour. You are going to help me today. Get up!
Chandler:Hey, Mon! Want some help?
Monica:Sure, Chandler. Anything to get lazy boy out of the bed. What time did he sleep last night? [Pauses] Ohmygosh, don't tell me there was a Baywatch Marathon on last night!
Chandler: No, Monica. We all know Joey suffers from sleeping problems. It's just his way of telling us, "Leave me alone, or the chick is gonna get it." And, believe me that works.
Monica:Joey, wake up! I am gonna do something...uh...drastic! C'mon open up! Wake up you lazy boy! Get your big butt of that mattress and come out here! [Door remains closed] Okay....that didn't work...uh...or the chick's gonna get it! [Pause]
Joey:Okay, okay...whatever you want me to do, don't let take it out on the chick. Okay?
Monica:Joey...don't you remember that today is the day in which you
help me as my assistant chef? Remember that little note in your cake? That's
your ticket to the show today. C'mon...get dressed.. and shave that facial
hair! Gosh... I am so lucky not
being your rommate!
Chandler:Thank you Monica, you just made my day!
Joey:[Whining] Oooh!! Monica,can you just get Rachel? I mean she's a waitress, she can wait tables for you when you become chef! I don't want to do this!
Monica:No! It is too late, besides what I did was fair and square. Now, hurry up and I don't want us to be late especially when it's my turn to audition. Now get moving! [Monica leaves]
Chandler:You heard the woman, now get moving big fella!
Joey:[Whines] This is so unfair! All of you guys are taking it out on Joey. Yeah, when you don't want to do something you ask the middleman. But, guess what there isn't going to be a middleman. Uh-uh...no more.
Monica:[Comes back in impatient]Joey if you make me late I am going to take away your Baywatch privileges. Now get moving.
Joey:Ooohh...coming!
Scene9:Ross is kissing Rachel in his apartment
Ross:Oohh..Rachel..stop. I cannot...Rach...[They stop kissing] Uh...I cannot believe you slept the night here. On my bed...together...alone. Oohh!
[Collapses on the bed]
Rachel:Ross, what is wrong with that? I mean I thought you told me you were ready for this. That you are ready to cross the line.
Ross:I don't know. I guess that I am not ready for commitment, y'know? I mean what if we start having babies, what are we going to do? I guess I am just a slow bloomer.
Rachel:No, Ross! What we had was special, I really treasured that. Last night was special because we were together, doing what we loved together. I don't want that to go away, y'know? I want it to stay here..[Pats her heart] and I want you to be there for me too. [Looks at Ross lovingly] [They kiss again]
Ross:[Sighs] Okay...if that is what you want..then I am here for you.
[Rachel sighs and they kiss again]
Scene10:Monica discusses with Joey the aftermath of the audition in her apartment.
Monica:What an audition! Sheesh, I'm pooped! [Collapses onto the couch] We blew them away!
Joey:Yeah, and the best part was we get free food afterwards!
Chandler:All because the judges couldn't put another morsel into their pot-bellies!
Monica:I am just so glad that is over and taken care of. Thank you Joey, so much! I am really glad you were my assistant chef today, you were terrific today. [Hugs him]
Joey:Thanks Mon, but if you'll excuse me I need to catch up on some much needed zzz's. If you know what I mean. [Walks out]
Chandler:So, Mon. Do you think you got the job?
Monica:I really hope so. After the audition, the head judge came up and told me that I had this special something and that I should definently get the job.
Chandler:[Hugs Monica] Oh, Monica that's great! Congratulations! Now, did you do this all by yourself, or did Joey help you?
Monica:Well, let's just say the food was great and so was the entertainment.