AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fanfic is the second chapter of my trilogy about what happened after Ross said Rachel in the season finale in season 4. If you haven't read the first chapter, "The One Where Joey Loses "it" ", this won't make any sense at all..
I'd love to receive feedback so please drop me a line at ariel_b@chickmail.com ! Thanks!

DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me. I'm just writing this for fun!

[Scene: Monica's bedroom at the hotel in London. Ross is asleep on the bed. He's obviously dreaming, because he's smiling.. and talking in his sleep.]

ROSS: Oh, hi, Emily.. I love your accent. It's so cute.. Let's get married.. and you'll get a new wine cellar to boot! (Pause.) Oh, Rach, I love you, you're the best! We were on a break, but I have to say; I really love your coffee..

(He wakes up all of a sudden.)

ROSS: No, I don't! Her coffee sucks!

(There's a knock on the door. Ross gets up and opens it. A waiter is standing outside with a table. There are some rolls and a cup of coffee on the table.)

WAITER: Here's your coffee, Mr Geller!

ROSS (stares at the cup of coffee): Did a gorgeous girl named Rachel make that coffee?

WAITER: Excuse me, Sir?

ROSS (sadly): Never mind.

(He closes the door.)

WAITER (mumbles): I'll never understand Americans. (grabs one of the rolls and starts chewing on it.)
 

OPENING CREDITS
 

[Scene: The plane bound for Paris. Monica and Chandler are sitting next to each other talking.]

MONICA: Wow, this plane doesn't seem to have one empty seat! By the way, I wonder where Rachel and Joey are.

CHANDLER: Oh, you know, they can be anywhere. (yawns) Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just so extremely tired.

(Monica grins at him.)

CHANDLER (points at her): It's your fault, by the way..

MONICA: Yeah, guilty as charged.. But I agree with you. I'd like to get some sleep as well. We've got a long flight ahead of us, and we can do other things when we're flying over Canada or Iceland..

(She puts her head on Chandler's shoulder and closes her eyes. Chandler puts his arm around her.)
 

[Scene: The plane bound for New York.]

JOEY: Man, I don't understand this, Rachel.. Rachel?

RACHEL (stares out the window, and she's crying): (Thinks) Damn you, Ross. I hate you! But you looked so gorgeous in that tux! But if you wanted to marry me, then why did you propose to Emily?

RACHEL (talks to Joey): Oh, I'm sorry, Joey. What did you say? Oh, never mind, it's about the fact that you've lost it again, isn't it? Don't you think we should focus on locating Chandler and Monica in stead?

(She pushes a button to call for an air hostess, and an air hostess walks up to them.)

AIR HOSTESS: Yes, may I help you? (Sees Joey) Oh, you again..

JOEY (terrified, to Rachel): See?

RACHEL (ignores him): Yes, please. We're looking for our friends, Chandler Bing and Monica Geller. They're here on the plane, and we just wondered if you could find out where their seats are?

AIR HOSTESS: Sure, one moment, please..

(The air hostess checks her list.)

AIR HOSTESS: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid they're not on this plane. (leaves)

(Joey and Rachel gasp)
 

[Scene: The other plane bound for Paris. Chandler and Monica are sleeping. The captain is talking to the passengers on the loudspeaker.]

CAPTAIN: Ladies and gentlemen, we're now approaching Paris and Charles de Gaulle International Airport. The weather in Paris is sunny and beautiful with a temperature of about 23 degrees Celsius. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing as we'll be there in about 15 minutes..

CHANDLER (stirs and snaps awake): What?!? What did he say? Monica, wake up!!

MONICA (awakes): What's the matter?

CHANDLER: The captain said we'll be landing in 15 minutes! Did we really sleep that long?

MONICA: Oh, no! Weren't we supposed to do something else during the flight?

CHANDLER: I guess so, but..

MONICA: Well, there's no time for that now. (BEAT) too bad.. (kisses him passionately)

(Cut to outside the plane. The aircraft is landing in Paris.)

(Cut back to inside the plane. Monica and Chandler are getting ready to get off the plane.)

CAPTAIN (still talking on the loudspeaker): Ladies and Gentlemen, this Boeing 737 has just landed, and on behalf of British Airways I wish you a pleasant stay here in Paris..

(Cut to close-up on Monica and Chandler. They're shocked, and their mouths are wide open.)

MONICA (shocked, grabs Chandler's shoulder): WHAT?!? He's joking, right? Paris??

CHANDLER (shocked): I hope so.. 'cause.. you're hurting me!

(Monica lets go of his shoulder.)

(Chandler pulls their tickets out of his pocket and looks at them. He gasps.)

CHANDLER: Er.. Monica? You're not going to like this, but it seems like (BEAT) we've just landed in France!

MONICA: But what about Rachel and Joey? (realises) They're on their way to New York!

CHANDLER (sarcastically): Unless they ended up on a plane to Japan.

(Monica glares at him.)
 

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. The whole place is a mess. Rachel and Joey enter.]

JOEY: Oh my god! Look at this! Monica is going to freak out!!

RACHEL: Joey! She's not here, remember? But where on earth could she and Chandler be? I'd better call Ross in London. They're probably there anyway..

(She picks up the phone and dials the number.)

RACHEL: Hi Ross.. No, I don't care whether if you're sorry or not! Listen! Monica and Chandler, are they there? (BEAT) What? They're not? (BEAT) No, don't worry, we'll find them. (BEAT) So, have you seen Emily (BEAT) She's gone? OK, see you later. Bye.  (she hangs up)

JOEY: What did he say?

RACHEL: Well, Emily has disappeared.. I can't say I don't blame her.. that scumbag.. Anyway, Ross had talked to her parents and they were going to find her for him.

JOEY: Okay..

(A weird groan can be heard from Rachel's bedroom.)

JOEY (terrified): What was that?

RACHEL: Someone's in my bedroom!!

JOEY (smirks): Maybe it's Paolo..

RACHEL (glares at him): Shut up, Joey.. (whispering) Get Monica's frying pan! We need a weapon in case it's a burglar..

JOEY (whispering): Okay! (Gets the pan.)

(Rachel and Joey walk quietly over to Rachel's bedroom door and enter.)
 

[Scene: Rachel's bedroom. Phoebe is lying on the bed wincing in pain. Rachel and Joey enter. Joey holds the frying pan like a bat. Joey's terrified and loses the pan on the floor.]

RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe! Oh, no! Are you having the babies?

PHOEBE (angrily and sarcastically): No, I just have terrible pains in my stomach after eating too much meat!

JOEY (confused): But, Pheebs, the babies are living in your stomach, right?

(Rachel and Phoebe glare at him.)

JOEY: Hey, I was just asking!

RACHEL (in a state of serious stress): Oh, honey, is there anything we can do for you?

PHOEBE: Calling the ambulance would have been nice!

RACHEL: Oh, yeah, sure.. Anything else?

PHOEBE (yelps in pain): Ouch, they're really eager to get out! (BEAT) Yeah, Joey, pick up that frying pan and make something.. I don't care what it is, as long as meat is one of the ingredients!!

JOEY (a little frightened): Okay, but I wish Monica could have been here! (leaves)

RACHEL: Oh, don't worry honey, I'll call the ambulance. We're here for you..

PHOEBE: Well, that's the reason I'm worried!

RACHEL (hurt): Okay.. (picks up the phone and dials 911) Hello? Yeah, we need an ambulance to Monica Geller's apartment. It's the building next to the cafi Central Perk.. (BEAT) No, we're not choking or dying.. WE'RE HAVING BABIES!! (BEAT) No, I'm not having babies, but my girlfriend is! (BEAT) No, she's not my partner! I'm not a lesbian! (BEAT) (furiously) When is that damn ambulance going to be here? (BEAT) OK. Bye. (She hangs up)

PHOEBE: What did he say?

RACHEL: Well, at first he thought we were lesbians..

PHOEBE (giggles): Oh, cool!

RACHEL (rolling her eyes): Anyway, they'll be here in five minutes.

PHOEBE (laughing): He really thought you were my partner? How silly is that?

RACHEL (hurt): What? You don't think I would make a good lesbian?

PHOEBE (a little annoyed): Hey, relax! (BEAT) And if you really want to know whether if you would make a good lesbian, why don't you go and ask Ross?

JOEY (appears in the doorframe with a huge grin on his face): Hey, I like this conversation.. May I join?

(Rachel glares at him.)
 

[Scene: A hotel-room in Paris. Monica and Chandler enter carrying their bags.]

MONICA (upset): How on earth could this happen? I mean, I told the ticket agent we were going to New York..

CHANDLER (interjecting, realises something): But we were kind of making out at the same time..

MONICA (blushes): Yeah, I guess so, but.. I'd better call Rachel.. She is probably at home right now and worried sick! Oh, I wish they'd have a couple of tickets for the flight back to New York tomorrow..

CHANDLER: Mon, come on.. We've spent the last four hours at the airport trying to get tickets, but didn't you hear the guys at the travel agency? We can go home in five days. What's the rush? I mean, I don't mind five days in France without my boss slapping my butt all the time. (BEAT) Is it Phoebe you're worried about?

MONICA: Yeah, that too. But I'm thinking about the apartment. It probably looks like a mess!

CHANDLER (laughs): You're never going to change, are you?

MONICA (grins): Nope.

CHANDLER: But what about us? I mean, this is the only available room, and we're still in Europe..

MONICA (smirks): I know.. (kisses him and pulls him towards the bed)

(They fall on the bed.)

(Time lapse. Monica and Chandler are cuddling under the covers.)

MONICA: As much as I'd like to do that thing for the fifth time in a row, I must call Rachel now..

CHANDLER (nods): We can continue afterwards..

(Monica picks up the phone and dials the number.)

MONICA: Don't you dare go anywhere!

CHANDLER (grins): Trust me, I won't.

(Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment in New York. Rachel, Joey and Phoebe are on their way out to the ambulance. The phone rings. Rachel looks at it and doesn't quite know what to do. Finally she picks it up.)

RACHEL: Hello? Monica? Where are you? What happened to you guys? Is Chandler there too?

(Cut to Monica and Chandler's hotel-room.)

MONICA (quickly): No, he isn't! (BEAT) I mean, he's here with me, but he's not in my.. er.. he's downstairs.

(Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

RACHEL (confused): O-o-okay.. But where are you guys? Are you at the hotel?

(Cut to Monica and Chandler's hotel-room.)

MONICA:  Yeah, but not the hotel in London (BEAT) the hotel in Paris.

(Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

RACHEL (shocked): WHAT????

(Cut to Monica and Chandler's hotel-room.)

MONICA: Don't ask. It's a long story. But we boarded the wrong plane, and we didn't find out about that until we got here.. I'll tell you when we get home.

(Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

RACHEL: OK. Oh, by the way, we're going to the hospital now! Phoebe's having the babies! But why didn't you call earlier? The time zones.. You must have arrived there several hours ago!! I was worried sick!

(Cut to Monica and Chandler's hotel-room.)

MONICA: She is? Is she OK? Oh, good. And about that calling thing.. Well, I've been (puts her hand on Chandler's chest and looks at him seductively) kind of busy. I've got to go now, Rachel.. Give my best regards to Phoebe! We'll be back in five days. Bye!

(She hangs up.)

MONICA: Now, where were we? (Leans down and kisses Chandler.)

(Cut to Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

RACHEL: Monica?? Hello? Are you there? (hangs up)

JOEY (enters): Are you coming?

RACHEL: You're not going to believe this, but Monica called. Guess what they're doing..

JOEY: Oh, wait, let me see.. (Grins) They probably ran back to the hotel and had sex..

RACHEL: Ewwww! Joey, get real..

JOEY: Okay, sorry, I don't have a clue.

RACHEL: They're in Paris!

JOEY (shocked): They're having sex in Paris?

RACHEL (annoyed): No, they boarded the wrong plane, but they'll be back in a couple of days.

JOEY: Wow.

RACHEL: Tell me about it..

PHOEBE (entering): OK, you guys, I'm kind of in a hurry here!! Are you coming? 'Cause the babies are!

JOEY/RACHEL: Sure, Pheebs.

(They leave.)
 

[Scene: The Waltham residence in London. Ross walks up to the door and knocks. The door is opened by Emily. She looks very sad, and her red eyes reveal that she's been crying.]

EMILY: Hi Ross.

ROSS: Emily, I'm so sorry, I love you..

EMILY (puts her finger on his lips to stop him from saying anything): No, Ross. Don't ruin anything.. Not now. I've realised something, and I know now that we weren't meant to be.

ROSS (interrupting): But I want to be together with you.

EMILY (sadly): No, you don't. (Hands him her ring.) Here you are. Give it to the woman you really love.

ROSS: But..

EMILY: Look, if you really want to be my husband, then you can come back with the ring in six months. But if you do, please return without Rachel.. I can't promise you I'll be waiting for you, 'cause you really hurt me, but you can try in six months.. (BEAT) Good bye Ross. (Shuts the door.)

(It starts raining cats and dogs. Ross is just staring at the door. He sighs and turns around. The sky is grey, and there's no one in the streets. Ross dries away a couple of tears and walks away.)
 

[Scene: Just outside Central Perk. Phoebe is lying inside the ambulance. A couple of nurses are helping her and getting ready for the drive to the hospital. Joey and Rachel are standing on the pavement talking to Phoebe.]

RACHEL: Please, Phoebe, you've got to let us know, is there anything we can do for you?

PHOEBE: You bet! You're my new slaves, okay? I think I deserve some servants after what I've been through.. And I decided that the first two people to return would get that assignment.

RACHEL (hesitatingly): O - o - o - kay..

(Joey mouths "oh no!" to Rachel. Rachel shushes him. The nurses close the doors.)

PHOEBE: And can you believe this so-called ambulance? It sucks! I want a relaxi-taxi in stead!! (to Rachel and Joey) And what about you guys?

RACHEL: We'll be right there! We're going to get a cab. Just hang in there, honey!

(They run off to get a cab.)
 

CLOSING CREDITS
 

[Scene: Heathrow Airport, London. Ross walks up to the ticket agent. The ticket agent responsible for Chandler and Monica's trip to Paris is sitting behind the desk.]

ROSS (sadly): One ticket for the flight to New York (sniffles)

TICKET AGENT: Okay.. Hey, cheer up! What's the matter?

ROSS: I'm just kind of depressed.

TICKET AGENT: Well, then you definitely should have seen the two lovebirds who were here last night! Probably honeymooners.. They looked so happy and in love! You know.. (grins) They were making out in the line for about 10 minutes. The happy bloke went to Paris with that lovely bird of his.. Lucky bastard..

(Cut to Ross who's sobbing and staring at the wall behind the ticket agent.)

TICKET AGENT: Here's your ticket.. (Sees Ross) Excuse me, what's the matter? Did I say something wrong?

(Ross grabs the ticket and runs off.)

TICKET AGENT (shaking his head):Weird Americans.. And what's with that guy's hair?

END