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Well, this is one of my first fics and it takes place around Christmas. If you read this fic then, please, send me some feedback and tell me what was good and/or bad. When I read it after I finished it, it seemed like I was some sort of crazy Monica fan, but I had actually planned on writing simular stories for the other characters, only I haven't finished any of those yet. Also, Flo told me they're making an ep of friends with a simular plot, alternate lives, so that's kind of a weird coincidence... And by the way, the yelling might seem a bit uncalled for, but I needed the gang to be mad at Monica. And I really don't like Rachel, but that's not why she acts the way she does. I needed someone to act like that and it suited her character best. Plus, I wrote this before I saw season6 (and I don't read spoilers anymore) so even though this takes place at Christmas -99 Chandler and Monica haven't moved in together and Rachel hasen't moved out. Oh, and Ross and Rachel were never married.
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[Opening Scene]
[Scene: Central Perk. All presant]

MNCA: Okay, so Joey will bring the tree, Phoebe will decorate it, Ross will buy the food which I will cook, Chandler will get the ornaments and Rachel will be out of the way.

RACH: Just another Christmas.

JOEY: Mon, do I have to get the tree? I don't feel like working at that place again, the noise from the chopper haunts me in my dreams.

MNCA: Be a man about it.

CHAN: Or just be a man about anything.

ROSS: By the way, what kind of food am I getting?

MNCA: The same kind you got last year, the year before that, the year before that and basically every year you've been in charge of buying the food.

ROSS: [sarcasm] Oh, THAT.

MNCA: Take it easy, just go get some turkey and whatever else you want for Christmas.

JOEY: Oh, hey, Ross, get--

MNCA: [firm, cutting him off] And NO peanutbutter-jelly sandwiches.

[Joey looks bummed out]

CHAN: Hey, do you think we could get some meatballs?

[The others glare at him]

CHAN: I knew I should have never left Sweden.

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: Monica's. She's preparing the stuffing. Joey and Phoebe are dealing with the Christmas tree]

PHOE: Hey Mon, should I hang Joey and Chandler's "Playboy" ornaments in the tree too?

MNCA: NO.

JOEY: What, why not? Why does everything always have to be YOU way just 'cause it's YOUR appartment, YOUR tree and YOUR stuff? Man, that chopper's driving me INSANE!

MNCA: At ease, Tribbiani.

PHOE: I think this nude-girl for the top of the tree was kinda' hilarious.

[She holds up one of those things you put on the top of the tree, and it's in the shape of a nude woman]

MNCA: Joey, why don't you hang it in your OWN tree?

JOEY: 'Cause we don't HAVE one.

MNCA: Then why don't you get one?

JOEY: Nah… What, with the maintanence and all…

MNCA: [sarcasm] Yeah, concidering the fact that a Christmas tree needs 24 hours attention.

JOEY: What, they do?

[Monica ignores him and goes back to making the stuffing]

PHOE: Hey, how are you making the potatoes?

MNCA: Mashed with lumps plus peas and unions, then I'm gonna form them to tots.

JOEY: Why, I don't want lumps is my tots! No, no!

PHOE: Yeah, and do they have to be in actual tots?

MNCA: Well, to make everybody happy; yes, they do.

PHOE: I'm not happy with the tots.

JOEY: Yeah Mon, I was thinking, do we really need the lumps?

MNCA: Ross does.

JOEY: But, since they're with pees and unions and in the form of tots, do you really think he'll be able to see any lumps?

MNCA: [to-the-point] Joey, Ross can't even see Magic Eye stereograms. [beat] Look, even if he doesn't see the lumps he will be able to FEEL the lumps…

JOEY: Not if they're not THERE, he won't!

PHOE: By the way, where did you get the things for the stuffing, I thought Ross hadn't brought the food yet.

MNCA: Alessandro let me take some from the resturant. For some reason he didn't wanna hand out Christmas bonuses to any of the chefs, but he DID let me take home some of the left-overs.

PHOE: Oh, okay, so it's gonna be an ITALIAN Christmas this year?

MNCA: No.

JOEY: Mon, don't you think that's kind of a kickback? Shouldn't you be carefull around those types of things?

MNCA: Oh, please, this was SO not a kickback! What's a kickback?

[Joey whispers something to her]

MNCA: Okay, so it's a kickback.

PHOE: So, do you think you'll get into trouble?

MNCA: Hopefully not. But you never know with Alessandro, though. Once he fired a waiter 'cause he felt like it.

JOEY: Sounds pretty much like every director I've ever worked with.

PHOE: Although they don't fire waiters, they fire you.

JOEY: Yeah, I know.

MNCA: [not listening] Bummer. Guys, could you water the tree also? And give it some sugar?

JOEY: [thinking dirty thoughts] Oh my!

MNCA: No Joey. A sugar lump.

JOEY: What does the tree need that for? [to-the-point] He's getting WATER, not COFFEE!

MNCA: The trees live much longer if they get coffee.

PHOE: What?

MNCA: Sugar, I mean sugar.

PHOE: Well, I'll give the poor tree some sugar. It's nice to know how some people give something back to the trees. [accusingly] Why haven't you given the trees sugar before, Monica?

MNCA: Phoebe, what are you talking about, I give them sugar every year atleast twice!

JOEY: [suspicious] Really? Then how come we've never seen you give one some before then, huh?

MNCA: Joey, I am alone in this appartment every once in a while. You're not here to supervise me every single minute. I usually give them sugar December 23rd, right before I go to bed.

PHOE: Oh, like a pre-Christmas gift.

MNCA: Yes, but this is Christmas Eve, and it hasen't been watered, since Joey couldn't bring it any earlier.

JOEY: But atleast I brought it.

[Phoebe goes over to a cabinate and reaches over Monica's head to search for sugar]

MNCA: Damn it!

JOEY: What?

MNCA: I burned this aluminum pan, and apparantly quite well, 'cause it won't come loose!

[Phoebe accidently knocks something down from the shelf. It falls down in the pan]

PHOE: [annoyed] Oh, you're always in the way!

MNCA: Me? Phoebs, watch out a bit, you dropped mocholate all over the pan!

JOEY: I wasen't aware you still had that!

MNCA: The company insist on sending me some every Thanksgiving.

[She takes the package out of the pan, but spills something]

PHOE: You spilled.

MNCA: [looks] Well, good for me, 'cause apparantly mocholate can CLEAN aluminum.

[Rachel storms in, apparantly furiouse]

MNCA: [looks up] Hey there Rach. [sarcasm] Affected by the jolly holliday-spirit yet?

RACH: Ahrg!

PHOE: [to Monica] Apparantly not.

RACH: [angry] Oh! I just spent $200 on some dumbass guy from Brodway, and he intorduces me to his GIRLFRIEND!

PHOE: Really, how nice.

RACH: Nice? NICE, this is NICE to you? I just spent that much money on a total LOOSER!

MNCA: Just 'cause he has a girlfriend he doesn't have to be a looser.

RACH: [angry] He turned me DOWN! Only a looser COULD!

MNCA: Well Rach, calm down, I mean, if he doesn't wanna be with you than he's not good enough for you. His loss.

PHOE: Yeah.

RACH: [angry] Oh, come on! That's just something loosers like you say to justify being single, I happen to be a knockout girl!

MNCA: Loosers like me? Hey, I'm the one with the boyfriend here.

RACH: Boyfriend? Come on, on a scale from one to ten, Chandler gets a zero. He takes whomever he GETS! [heads for her room] This is all YOUR fault!

MNCA: MY fault? How's THAT?

RACH: 'Cause you're the one who when I told you about him said he sounded nice, but he WASEN'T! That makes YOU the guilty one!

[She slams the door to her room shut as Ross enters, angry]

PHOE: Hey Ross. Oh, do you have the food?

ROSS: [angry] NO, I don't! [to Monica] What the HELL have you done with the money?

MNCA: Calm down Ross, we all know I always keep the money in that box in my bedroom. I haven't touched it. Why don't you go talk to Rachel about it, she was the one who saw it the last.

ROSS: [angry] Oh my God, Monica we don't have any money! The money is GONE!

MNCA: What? What, how can it be gone?

ROSS: I don't know, you tell ME!

MNCA: _I_ don't know!

ROSS: Oh, sure you do! You HAVE to!

MNCA: No, I DON'T!

ROSS: [angry, accusingly] This is all YOUR fault!

MNCA: MY fault? Is that beginning to be your THÈME song? Look, if you wanna yell at someone why don't you go yell at Rachel?

PHOE: Yeah, she WAS the one who had it the last, when she went out shopping.

ROSS: [angry] Damnit Monica, where the hell is the MONEY?

MNCA: [defensive, slightly annoyed] Hey, I don't know where it is right know or how much is left! I think Rachel took it when she went out shopping, I told her not to, but she probably DID!

ROSS: [angry] Oh, don't you blame her for spending all the money, it was YOUR responsability! [firm] I hope you're happy now Mon, you've ruined Christmas! [leaves]

JOEY: Mon, you let RACHEL take the money?

MNCA: No, I did not LET her! She took off with allot of cash in her hand, and when I went into my room to find the money, it was gone. What could I have done, it's not like I could have chased her, this was, like, two minutes after. And besides, we don't know for sure if it was her.

JOEY: But still! Damn it, that was my money too!

MNCA: AND mine!

JOEY: I helped raise it, and now you've let Rachel SHOP for it!

MNCA: Joey, you contributed with TEN dollars. Out of $267.

JOEY: EXACTLY! You'd be on [emphesise on 5] 257 if it wasen't for ME.

MNCA: If it wasen't for you, we'd only NEED 120!

JOEY: Look, that's not the point, the point is, we have no money! And by the way, I don't have any job at the moment, that's why the small contribution!

MNCA: [grumpy] Well, maybe if you didn't list playing "Seasons in the Sun" in your armpit as your special talent on your resumé, then maybe you'd have better luck!

JOEY: What? You're just mad you don't have any special talents! You're talent free!

MNCA: Thanks allot Joey, [sarcasm] nice to see the holliday spirit has reached you.

JOEY: Well, now it's completely gone, thanks to YOU! What kind of Christmas IS it, without Christmas food?

MNCA: Go spend Christmas in Vietnam thirty years ago and you won't complain any more!

JOEY: Y'know what? I've just lost all the desire to decorate that stupid tree, the one that _I_ got you!

PHOE: Okay, that means no naked girl at the top, then.

[She puts it in a box and searches for a star or something else to put at the top]

PHOE: Hey Monica, where's the star that goes ontop?

MNCA: You took it with you when you left, Phoebs.

PHOE: No, I didn't. You didn't throw it away, did you?

MNCA: No, why would I have?

PHOE: 'Cause you always throw my stuff away.

MNCA: Phoebe, I haven't thrown away a single thing that belonged to you.

PHOE: That's not the point.

MNCA: Whatever.

PHOE: Maybe I left it at Dean Leafer's.

JOEY: Who?

PHOE: You remember that guy I dated who had just gotten a divorce?

JOEY: Joshua?

MNCA: No, that was Rachel.

JOEY: Michael?

MNCA: Also Rachel.

PHOE: I think I left it there. See, 'cause I remember I helped them decorate the tree the night I broke up with him.

JOEY: Wow, you dumped the guy at Christmas, that's pretty cruel.

PHOE: No, no, it was April. Anyway, I had to break it off. His kids liked ME more than HIM! I first realized at Valentines day, but I didn't call it off then, 'cause Valentine's such a couple-y day.

MNCA: You got THAT right.

PHOE: [filosoficall] I've had allot of weird dates. Parker Niles dumped me 'cause I fell asleep watching "This is Spinal Tap".

[Joey and Monica give her confused looks]

PHOE: [defensive] What, I was tired!

JOEY: Yeah, tell THAT to Michael McKean.

PHOE: What, he gets tired TOO!

JOEY: Not watching "Spinal TAP", he doesn't!

PHOE: You know, I should have seen it coming. Parker had this big poster of Harry Shearer in his bedroom.

JOEY: If I were you, I'd seen a confession from him that he was GAY coming.

MNCA: Or maybe a signed "Simpsons" CD.

PHOE: Oh, you know what, that would be a GREAT thing for you to get Chandler this Christmas!

MNCA: Thanks for the tip Phoebs, but that would be a no.

JOEY: Yeah, 'cause I already got him one.

MNCA: He can FORGET about listening to that in my room. I don't like "Do the Bartman".

JOEY: What, [suspicious] have you ever even heard that song?

MNCA: [rapping, sarcasm] Last name Simpson, first name Bart.

JOEY: Okay, okay, fine, so you have!

PHOE: [to Monica] Then maybe you should give him the soundtrack from "The Lost World". No wait, that was for Ross, yeah.

MNCA: Don't bother to buy it, he's already got it.

PHOE: I'm waiting for the feeling of surprise, but it's not coming.

JOEY: [rises] Don't bother to ask where I'm going, I'm to mad at you to tell me!

[Joey leaves. Chandler enters, looking tired and angry]

MNCA: Hey there, ho, ho, ho. How are ya'?

CHAN: Life sucks, and you?

MNCA: Life sucks, what are you talking about?

CHAN: What, are you stupid or something? I've had a TERRIBLE, terrible day, and then I saw somebody who looks ALLOT like Janice on the subway!

[Monica picks up a plate of candy-cane shaped breads]

PHOE: Well, maybe it wasen't Janice, maybe it was… Kathy?

MNCA: Yeah, relax, what are the odds?

CHAN: The odds don't have anything to do with it! Man, I've had a LOUSY day! Really, really rock bottomn!

MNCA: Well, have a gingerbread cookie, maybe THAT'LL cheer you up.

CHAN: [irritated] How's a stupid brown cookie gonna make me feel better? Don't you EVER think of anything else but food?

MNCA: [hands him the tray] Here, hold this.

[He takes it. She leaves]

PHOE: Hey, where'd she go?

CHAN: Yeah, and why am I stuck holding this stupid thing?

[Cut to: The hallway]

[Monica sits down at the top of the stairwell. She sighs and hides her face in her hands]

MNCA: God, what is with them? Why is everybody exept Phoebe so mad at me? MAN, I wish I'd never been born!

[Suddenly a woman (Terry Hatcher) appears next to her, with sort of a glow to her]

WOMAN: Lucky for you Christmas is that special time of the year. [extends hand] Hi, I'm Gertie, your guardian angel.

MNCA: Great, and now I'm unconscious!

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The same, seconds later]

GRTI: So, do you want to see what things had been like if you hadn't been born?

MNCA: Who the hell are you?

GRTI: Don't swear, I'm an angel. We don't like that. And that was the 1255th time you did that.

MNCA: Look, I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding, this is Christmas, not Halloween.

GRTI: Hey, all the more reason for a guardian angel to be of some assistance. Come on, let's go see the world in wich you've never been born.

MNCA: Let me guess; my mom has won several awards for being the happiest woman on EARTH, Ross and Joey would have their Christmas dinner, and Phoebe would never have left the appartment.

GRTI: Come on, let's take a look.

[She snaps her fingers]

[Cut to: Outside Central Perk]

MNCA: [quippy] What do you know, it's still a pub.

GRTI: Well, in this universe you haven't been born.

MNCA: So? I didn't have anything to do with Central Perk going from pub to coffeeplace.

GRTI: True, but changing one thing in history leads to many small changes. Didn't you ever see "Back to the Future"?

MNCA: Only the third part.

GRTI: Anyway, we're here to check in on Ross.

[Cut to: Inside]

[Ross is sitting there with Carol, Ben and a two year-old girl. Gertie and Monica are by the pool table]

MNCA: Who's the girl? Can they hear me, by the way?

GRTI: No. You're non-existing, you're just a possability.

MNCA: [grumpy] How lovely.

GRTI: Anyway, the girl is what would have been your niece, Ross's daughter, Hannah.

MNCA: Ross and CAROL'S daughter? But Carol's a lesbian.

GRTI: Actually, I think she's a bisexual. Anyway, the two are still married.

MNCA: [grumpy] How neat! If I hadn't been born, my brother's marrige wouldn't have fallen apart!

GRTI: [looks up, as if speaking to God] I'm not gonna get my wings after this one either, am I? [to Monica] Well, see Carol met Susan at the gym, where she started going when she felt lonely, 'cause Ross spent so much time with you guys. But if you hadn't been born Ross wouldn't have done that, so they wouldn't have split up.

MNCA: [smart-assy] Well no wonder my mother hates me.

GRTI: Geez, since you started dating Chandler, you sure have become allot more cynical and sarcastic.

MNCA: Chandler! What about Chandler, I wanna see Chandler!

GRTI: Relax, relax. [snaps fingers]

[Cut to: An appartment]

[Monica looks around]

MNCA: Isn't this Jerry Seinfeld's appartment?

GRTI: No, but it's quite simular. This is Chandler's appartment.

MNCA: And where's Joey?

GRTI: Chandler and Joey don't know eachother.

MNCA: Weird.

[Chandler comes out of a room. He's dressed badly and he's got a great beard]

MNCA: [frowns] God, I sure hope the man get's a razor for Christmas.

GRTI: Actually, he doesn't get anything this Christmas.

MNCA: Not even from his friends?

GRTI: He doesn't have any. And his father died in cancer two years ago and his mother is in Brussel at the moment, so he's celebrating Christmas alone.

MNCA: Alone?

GRTI: Uh-hu.

[Chandler whistles the "Armageddon" théme and sits down on the couch, putting on socks]

MNCA: Atleast he's got all his toes now.

GRTI: He's off for work now. He works as a computer salesman two blocks away.

MNCA: Computer salesman? But he's got NO traning in computers.

GRTI: The only job he could get.

MNCA: But why is he so alone? Why doesn't he hang out with Joey or Ross?

GRTI: Joey and Chandler have never met. And he's seen Ross only once since graduation from college.

MNCA: What? What are you TALKING about, they stayed best friends after college.

GRTI: In the world were you were born, yes.

[As they talk Chandler rises and takes a can of cold noodles out from the fridge and starts to eat by the table]

MNCA: But what does me being born have to do with Chandler and Ross staying friends?

GRTI: You know, your personal file said you were really intelligent.

MNCA: [offended] Hey, how am I supposed to know stuff about a world in which I don't even EXIST?

GRTI: See, the only reason they stayed friends was because of YOU.

MNCA: Me? I don't buy that for a SECOND.

GRTI: Come on, THINK. First of all, you got Chandler the appartment in wich he lives.

MNCA: SO? They hung out even before he got that place, while he still lived at the campus.

GRTI: There's another reason. Chandler didn't cut the connection with Ross because he still had a crush on you since that Thanksgiving dinner at your parents', the second time you met. Now, after hand they grew so close they would have hung out even if you moved to another country or so, but without you they wouldn't have kept in touch to start off with.

MNCA: And what about Joey?

GRTI: Long story. Chandler needed another roommate after Kip left when he was on the rebound from your relationship and got married. Chandler only let Joey move in 'cause you told him you wanted him too.

MNCA: Wait a minute, you're contredicting yourself here! If Chandler still liked me, then why would he let a guy I had a CRUSH on move in?

GRTI: I don't know. Okay I know, but I'm not supposed to say. Sort of a silence duty kind of thing. Maybe he didn't want you to realize he liked you, or maybe he wanted what was best for you.

MNCA: Or maybe he didn't like me that way.

GRTI: You wanna check in on Joey?

MNCA: Okay.

[Gertie snaps her fingers]

[Cut to: Joey's parents' home]

[The Tribbiani family is having Christmas dinner]

MNCA: Nice to see he would have gotten himself Christmas dinner if I hadn't lived.

JOEY: Oh, did I tell you I got a job today?

COOKIE: No way? What was it?

JOEY: A commercial for pizza!

GLORIA: Just make sure they're not gonna clame you have VD.

MNCA: Joey seems to be doing just fine.

GRTI: Yeah, well pretty much the same things are happening to him now as they did before you told Chandler to let him move in. See, none of the things that happened after that would have happened if you hadn't lived, 'cause allot of things in his life are connected to the appartment, you, Ross, Phoebe and Chandler. Oh, the only thing that is the same is that he broke up with Angela. But he didn't get together with her again, since you didn't go with him to that dinner. Plus his spirit's allot darker.

MNCA: So, if everything is a-okay with Joey, then can't we go see what life is like for the girls?

GRTI: Okay. [snaps fingers]

[Cut to: A house in the suburbs]

GRTI: Well, this is Rachel's home.

[A woman walks by]

GRTI: And that's one of her ten maids. See, when Rachel didn't have you to run to she ended up going back to the wedding and claiming she got locked in the bathroom.

MNCA: What? Why didn't she just run off to a hotel?

GRTI: Well, she was going to go back to the wedding even if you'd been born, but then she got the idea of staying in your place while she was on the phone with her dad, so it never happened.

MNCA: I remember that.

GRTI: If I had been you, I would have thrown her out. Why did you let her stay?

MNCA: Hey, shut up, I don't critizise YOU… that much…

[Rachel enters the room, dressed all in red, with Christmas lights in her hair. Mindy follows in her trails]

MNDY: Rachel, that hairdo is really too much.

RACH: Oh, stop it, you're just jealous. Hang on, I'm gonna go tell one of our ten maids we want some coffee. I've tried to make some myself, but it never succeeds.

MNCA: Some things just never change, huh?

GRTI: Nope.

[Rachel leaves the room. Barry enters, sees Mindy and walks up to her]

BARRY: Mindy! Upstairs, or right here?

MNDY: Not now, Barry. Rachel's just in the other room.

BARRY: She mostly is.

[He pins her against the wall and starts to kiss her]

MNCA: Hey, CHANDLER does that!

[Mindy giggles and kisses Barry back. The two start making out. Rachel returns from the other room, and sees the two from the door slut, not able to believe her eyes]

GRTI: If you had been born she would have found out about it when Barry was already engaged to Mindy. But now it happened this way. Come, we still have to visit Phoebe. [snaps fingers]

[Cut to: A shelter for homeless]

MNCA: What IS this place, where am I?

GRTI: Spot Phoebe anywhere? Or have I taken you to the wrong shelter?

MNCA: There she is! She must be WORKING here!

GRTI: No, she's come here to get the Christmas dinner.

MNCA: Why?

GRTI: If she hadn't moved in with you she wouldn't have gotten a place to stay. She still lives on the streets. Her salery from being a massuse isn't as high in this world. Pays about $200 a month.

MNCA: I can't believe this! And what in the WORLD does my existance have to do with the saleries for massuses?

GRTI: Long story, goes back to when your mother was pregnant with you. But in this world, she never was.

MNCA: I think I have seen enough.

GRTI: Good.

MNCA: Now I wish I would have been given up for adoption, or been born in the seventies. [thinks] Which I was. I meant the nineties.

GRTI: What are you babbeling about?

MNCA: Never mind. You know what I REALLY wish? I wish I could have DIED, like, the day Rachel moved in to my appartment.

GRTI: Why?

MNCA: 'Cause then Chandler would have friends, Rachel would have a better life, Phoebe would have a home, Joey would have things the way they were and Carol would have a wife. But they wouldn't have had to be around me all the time, exept for the group forming I haven't seemed to made a single person happy! You say your my guardian angel, then you must have seen how things were right before I went out in the hallway.

GRTI: I can't arrange for your death, that's kinda' against my line of work. I'm gonna take you back now, but before I do, I want you to think about what you just said. And I want you to remember.

[She snaps her fingers. Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris" starts to play, as we go back in a montage sequence of the memories Gertie wants Monica to think about. After the lyrics the memorie will be written]

GOOGOODOLLS: [singing] And I'd give up forever to touch you. - Chandler and Monica's first on-screen kiss.

GGD: [singing] 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow. - Joey and Monica on the double date with Angela and Bob, after Joey told Monica of his plan.

GGD: [singing] You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be. - The girls hugging after Monica told Rachel Julie couldn't steal her away.

GGD: [singing] And I don't want to go home right now. - Ross, asking Monica if she's okay, right after she saw her parents make out.

GGD: [singing] And all I can taste is this moment. - Joey, tasing some salmon mousse that Monica made.

GGD: [singing] And all I can breathe is your life. - Ross, spinning her after he found out he's having a son.

GGD: [singing] 'Cause sooner or later it's over. - Chandler and Monica together after they told the others (and eachother) they love eacother.

GGD: [singing] I just don't want to miss you tonight. - She catches up to Chandler as he is about to leave Las Vegas on their anniversary.

GGD: [singing] And I don't want the world to see me. - A few moments before the pre-previous clip, when Chandler tells Phoebe why he can't have sex with her.

GGD: [singing] 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand. - The girls on their slumber party, urging George Stephanapolous to drop the towel.

GGD: [singing] When everything's made to be broken. - Joey hugging her after he convinced her not to go to the sperm bank.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - Phoebe and Monica at the memorial service for Francess.

GGD: [singing] And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming. - The whole group singing Smelly Cat at Central Perk.

GGD: [singing] Or the moment of truth in your lies. - Chandler's proposal in her livingroom.

GGD: [singing] When everything seems like the movies. - Chandler and Monica doing a crossword puzzle together.

GGD: [singing] Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive. - Chandler and Monica confirming their relationship to Joey.

GGD: [singing] And I don't want the world to see me. - Chandler and Monica watching Joey's porno movie.

GGD: [singing] 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand. - Rachel telling Phoebe and Monica about hers and Ross's first kiss.

GGD: [singing] When everything's made to be broken. - Phoebe realizing how well Monica knows her after she said she knew Phoebe wanted to call her ex-partner.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - Chandler declaring he won't sleep with Monica that night, 'cause she said he was a suck-up.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - Ross telling the group about his new engagement with Emily.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - The group with Phoebe after her delivery.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - Chandler and Monica in the mens room.

GGD: [singing] I just want you to know who I am. - With this line we see Monica sitting at the starewell.

[She is just where she was before Gertie showed up. She's just seen what we've seen in the montage sequence. It's been several hours since Gertie showed up. Joey comes up the staires, no longer angry]

JOEY: Hey. Why are you sitting here?

MNCA: I just… am.

JOEY: Check this out, do you know where I've been?

MNCA: Not a clue.

[He holds up two bags]

JOEY: I've been out buying Christmas food so you can make dinner. I felt kinda' bad after the way I talked to you earlier, I know it wasen't your fault, it was Rachel's. Just that you were much easier to blame, 'cause you were in the room. Friends again?

[He nervously smiles to her. She miles back. He puts one of the bags down and extends a hand]

JOEY: Come on, let's go back inside.

[She takes his hand and he pulls her up. She grabs the other bag and they enter her appartment hand in hand. Inside the appartment we see that Ross has returned]

CHAN: Oh, hey, hey, there you are! [comes over] Sweetie, where did you hobble off too?

MNCA: I… just outside.

ROSS: Where? I didn't see you when I returned.

[Monica looks a bit freaked at that. Phoebe takes the two bags and Chandler puts both arms around Monica. Rachel exits her room]

RACH: Mon? I've got some, uh, money. It's $67. [ashamed] I spent the 200 on… stores.

ROSS: So you DID take the money?

PHOE: Told you so, Ross!

ROSS: Yeah, sorry Mon. I shouldn't have doubted you like that.

PHOE: [in Monica's place] She says it's okay.

[Monica is locked in a kiss with Chandler, that's why Phoebe answers]

[Closing Credits]

[Scene: The next morning, Chandler's room. Chandler and Monica are snuggeling]

MNCA: [softly] Hey, it's morning. Past midnight. Merry Christmas.

CHAN: Dito. Y'know, I always wanted to say that. [pause] I'm not gonna DIE now, right?

[The camera cuts to out in the livingroom. The door to his bedroom opens and Monica exits, wearing his robe. He exits after her, in boxers and t-shirt. Christmas dinner is prepared on the foosball table and a smaller tree with presants under is by the couch. The tree's lights are in disorder. Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas" starts to play low in the background]

MNCA: Well, I want my presants.

CHAN: [joking, softly] Hey, you opened yours last night in bed, darling.

MNCA: So it's true what they say? Good things come in small packages. [he looks hurt, she smiles] Just kiddin, hon. I have no complains, size wise.

[He smiles too and walks up to her. They wrap their arms around eachother and kiss, lovingly. Just as they finish, Joey exits his bedroom]

JOEY: [gladly surprised] Guys! [looks around] If I weren't a guy, I'd cry now.

[Phoebe enters with tinsle. Chandler and Monica smile happily and hug closely, with her head resting to his chest]

PHOE: Hey everybody!

JOEY: [glad] Phoebs!

PHOE: Yay, it's the Phoebe. Here with the tinsle for the tree!

JOEY: Did YOU decorate this?

PHOE: With Rachel, after you'd gone to bed. [excusingly] She did the lights.

CHAN: You don't say…

[Ross and Carol enter]

MNCA: Hey, happy Christmas, bro'!

ROSS: Hey, you too. Look whom I brought!

JOEY: Hi Carol! Great timing, Monica's done food and everything!

PHOE: [correctintg grammar] MADE.

ROSS: [looks at Monica with Chandler] Looks like that's not the only thing she's done.

PHOE: [correcting] MADE! [thinks] Wait, that wasen't right!

MNCA: Come on, let's all have a Christmas morning Christmas dinner.

[At this point the song reaches the line "And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time" and the volume goes up (so we can barely hear them speak) when they, laughing and joking, sit down, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe on the livingroom-side and the others on the other side of the counter. Rachel comes over and sits down at the short-end and they start to eat, laughing and talking. We hear Joey happily pointing out that it's snowing. The line "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?" plays, and the screen fades to black]
 

The end!