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Hi, I'm Annie. I've decided to try and write and submit a fanfic, so
here it is. :) It's set in early season five, Phoebe knows about Chandler
and Monica (instead of Joey) but nobody else. And the Bond-movie mentioned
is not "The World is Not Enough"...
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[Opening Scene]
[Monica and Chandler are at the couch]
MNCA: No, it’s the third week of the month.
CHAN: Fourth.
MNCA: Third!
CHAN: Fourth!
WAITER: [walks by, annoyed] If I decide what week it was, do you promise to get the hell out of here?
[Opening credits]
[Scene: Monica’s. Rachel, Phoebe and Ross are there. Joey bursts in]
JOEY: Guys, guess what!
PHOE: What?
JOEY: My agent got me an audition for [flashy] the next James Bond Movie. [the guys cheer] Could you belive that? It’s like the movie with a capital M!
PHOE: Wow, what’s the part?
ROSS: Yeah, is it something small?
RACH: Or as Pierce Brosnan’s butt-doubble?
JOEY: You guys, even if it’s like a two minute part it’s still a James Bond movie! It’s big! The whole world’s gonna see it!
ROSS: So what is the part?
JOEY: [proud] The villain!
RACH: Oh my God!
PHOE: No way!
JOEY: Way! This might actually be my real break! People will know who I am! Critics all over the world will say their oppinoin!
ROSS: What if you don’t get it?
JOEY: How can I not get it? I am so good at what I do.
ROSS: Not to mention modest.
RACH: Joey, we’re happy for you.
PHOE: Yeah, we are.
RACH: Have you told Mon and Chandler yet?
JOEY: Well, sort of. I mean, not Chandler. But Monica was the one who called my agent and told her that she knew the casting-guy, and Estelle called and arranged for the audition! I already went for the interview, and the director-guy loved me. I haven’t told Monica he wanted to see me again for an actuall audition! You know where she is?
RACH: No. You know, come to think of it I haven’t seen her or Chandler today.
JOEY: I saw them this morning. They were leaving for work
[Chandler and Monica enter]
PHOE: Hey you guys.
JOEY: Mon! I got the audition!
MNCA: Yeah? That’s great! [hugs him]
CHAN: What audition?
JOEY: For the part as the villain in the next James Bond Movie!
MNCA: [Half hugging Joey] The movies with the capital M:s!
CHAN: Hey!
JOEY: I met the director, and he said he wanted me to do a test-shoot on Monday!
MNCA: Wow, that’s just in two days.
PHOE: Are there many others?
JOEY: Nop. Just one.
MNCA: Who?
JOEY: [sits on the couch] Steve Buscemi!
MNCA: Really? You’re fighting for a part against Mr Pink?
JOEY: Yeah!
CHAN: [sits] Hey, did you guys see “Reservoir Dogs”?
PHOE: [phony voice] So, I’m carrying the weat around in one of those little carry-on bags – I’ve gotta take a piss.
CHAN: [imitating Quintin Tarantino] Mr Brown sounds to much like Mr Shit.
PHOE: Don’t interrupt me! [continues imitating Tim Rooth] So I tell the connection I’ll be right back--
CHAN: Wich you should never say in a scary movie.
PHOE: [upset] Chandler!
ROSS: Well, it seems like you shouldn’t say it in a Quintin Tarantino movie either.
MNCA: What are you talking about, the guy made it.
ROSS: Uhm, Mon… Did you not see the ending?
CHAN: Or the blood?
PHOE: What? So he can’t make it if he’s lost a little blood?
MNCA: Phoebs… It was more than a little blood.
RACH: You know, I never saw that movie.
JOEY: Besides, this Buscemi-guy’s my enimy here, you shouldn’t be talking about his movies.
[There’s a pause]
RACH: I did see “Con Air”.
[Joey throws a magazine at her]
[ Cut to: The next day at Monica’s]
[Monica, Chandler and Ross are there]
MNCA: [to Chandler] Oh, come on. I’m right, and you know it!
CHAN: [puts his arm round her shouders] You could not be more wrong.
ROSS: You could try, but you wouldn’t be very successfull.
MNCA: Exuse me. Do you even know what we’re talking about?
ROSS: Of course I do… No, I don’t.
MNCA: Then butt-out.
CHAN: What, he was on my side, let him continue.
MNCA: But I’m still right. It is the third week.
[The door opens and Rachel and Joey enter, Joey dragging a machine]
RACH: Hi you guys.
MNCA: What’s with the machine? Robbed a science exhibit?
JOEY: Found it on a fleemarket! Some scientist guy didn’t want it anymore, what do you guys think?
MNCA: That you should get it out of my appartment ASAP.
JOEY: Come on Monica, it ain’t that bad?
MNCA: Oh yes it is.
ROSS: Exactley what is it?
JOEY: I don’t know. The scientist guy said it made problems out of small things, I don’t know.
CHAN: Then why did you buy it?
MNCA: And why is it still here?
JOEY: Oh, come on Mon… Our appartment’s to small, can’t I keep it in here, just for a few days?
MNCA: I want it gone by tonight.
JOEY: Monica, please… Tomorrow’s the big audition, I have to get prepared. I have to beat Steve Buscemi. He’s actually been in movies.
CHAN: Speaking of, what do you say we go catch one?
MNCA: Sure. [indicating machine] That means I won’t have to see that.
[She and Chandler get up, his arm still around her shoulder]
JOEY: [as they’re leaving] What do you want to see?
MNCA: “Armageddon”.
[Cut to: Central Perk]
[The gang minus Phoebe and Joey are there. Monica and Rachel are on the couch, Ross in a chair. Chandler comes up behind Monica with a bananamuffin]
CHAN: Here you go.
MNCA: Oh, thanks.
CHAN: [whisper] Fourth week.
MNCA: As many weeks as you had nipples at birth.
[He gives her an angry look and goes to sit on the other chair. Enter Phoebe]
PHOE: Hey you guys. ALL: Hey.
PHOE: This is the worst day of my week.
ROSS: What’s the matter, Phoebs?
PHOE: There are no jobs for me.
MNCA: Oh, I know that line. I invented that line.
CHAN: And I invented that line.
RACH: Well don’t you worry, Pheebs. Something’s gonna come up, I know it.
PHOE: Well, you also “knew” Ross was going to dump Emily and go back to you.
RACH: [at a loss] Well, one out of two isn’t… that bad.
CHAN: Oh, what that woman doesn’t know.
MNCA: We’re going to a movie tonight, it might cheer you up.
PHOE: What are we seing?
MNCA: “Armageddon”.
RACH: And have we told Joey who’s in it yet?
MNCA: Let’s just say it’s my little revenge.
RACH: [rising] Well, you kids have fun.
MNCA: Where are you going?
RACH: I have a date.
ROSS: With whom?
RACH: This guy from purchasing.
ROSS: The transsexual?
RACH: No, the cute one.
ROSS: [sarcastic] Oh, that one.
RACH: [ignoring his comment] Bye, guys.
ALL: Bye.
[She leaves just as Joey enters]
JOEY: Hey you guys. So, are we ready to go?
MNCA: Sure. [rises. To Chandler] Third week.
[She and Joey heads for the door. Phoebe is right behind them and so is Ross]
CHAN: [rising] It’s the four-- [realizes she can’t hear him] Ah, whatever.
[Cut to: Later at Monica’s]
[The gang minus Rachel enter]
JOEY: You could have just told me!
MNCA: Well, that would have ruined all the fun! Besides, if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t even have an audition. [sees the machine] Joey, what is that thing still doing here?
PHOE: What is that?
MNCA: It’s some wierd junk that Joey bought from some crazy inventor guy.
JOEY: He wasen’t crazy.
MNCA: Well, if he wasen’t then you sure are. I mean, who would buy something that “makes problems out of small things”.
PHOE: Is that retorical?
MNCA: I don’t even understand why you bought it.
JOEY: I thought it looked cool.
CHAN: Well, you also thought Mr. Salty was better than Mr. Peanut. The man’s crazy, I’ve always said that.
ROSS: [by the machine] Hey, what does this button do?
JOEY: I don’t know so don’t touch… [Ross pressed it] that.
[The machine starts buzzing]
ROSS: Uh-oh.
MNCA: What?
ROSS: It seems to be counting something, I don’t know.
JOEY: Well get away from it, it can’t do anything else if you don’t touch it… Hopefully.
[Ross comes over to them, they’re standing infront of the machine]
CHAN: [picks up a purple ball from the floor] Cool colour. [holds it close to his face] Is it me?
MNCA: Chandler, put that thing down.
CHAN: Okay, alright.
[We see a the bottomn corner of a small screen on the machine. It’s reached 100%. Chandler throws the ball over his shoulder. It lands on a big red button on the machine, and it sends out a beam that hits the friends and shrinks them]
CHAN: [about 8 millimeters high] Wow, what happened?
MNCA: You throwed a stupid ball.
PHOE: Uhm, you guys…
[She points towards the machine. They look, and sees that it’s… a bit bigger]
JOEY: Holy cow.
CHAN: What the…
MNCA: We’re shrunk. Chandler, you shrunk us!
CHAN: Me? It was your stupid brother who got the machine going.
MNCA: Yeah, but you threw the ball so that it hit the button.
CHAN: How was I supposed to know it was gonna shrink us?
JOEY: I’m starting to understand that thing about problems out of small things.
PHOE: Oh, you guys this isn’t good.
CHAN: Oh, you think?
MNCA: Look at this room! It’s like a hundred times bigger!
ROSS: And we’re a hundred times smaller.
MNCA: [sarcastic] Gee, that makes sense!
CHAN: Monica, calm down. It can’t be that bad.
MNCA: Not that bad? Chandler we’re the size of a fingernail. And we have nobody here who knows how to fix it. We’re gonna be stuck like this forever.
JOEY: Oh man. Now I’ll never get up to the refrigirator.
PHOE: Oh look, here’s a crumble from the cookie you ate earlier!
MNCA: Gross.
JOEY: Hey, it’s chocolate chip. It’s good.
[They start walking]
CHAN: Well, we’ve gotta do something. [thinks] Wait, wait, wait, wait! [they look at him hopefully] Rachel! We can get Rachel to fix this. She always manages to press different buttons on everything, she’ll probably get us back to normal by mistake, or something!
ROSS: Great idea, Chandler. And how were you planning on her noticing us? [Chandlers triumphant look turns into a questioned one]
JOEY: Well, we just have to find someway to get up to the sink or something. Then we won’t have to worry about getting trampled, and we can ask Rachel to help us.
MNCA: Aren’t you forgetting something?
JOEY: Oh yeah. There might be food up there.
MNCA: No, not that! We’re eight millimeters high. [sits on the floor] Oh, God!
CHAN: [strokes her shoulders] Oh, come on Monica. Cheer up. Things can’t be that bad.
MNCA: No, they’re worse.
CHAN: What if… what if we wrote her a note or something?
MNCA: Great. And if only we were about a football team more we might actually be able to actually hold the pen.
PHOE: Oh, I have a really, really short pencil.
MNCA: Really?
PHOE: Yeah. It’s at my [realizes] grandmothers…
MNCA: We’re doomed.
JOEY: Well, we could atleast try.
MNCA: But Joey, let’s say we did have a pencil we could write with and some papers. How did you expect us to get up to the sink?
JOEY: Climbing, of course. Look, we’re small, okay? That means we can hold on to the fibers of the wood.
ROSS: Joey, we’re not that small.
MNCA: [rising] No, wait. He might have a point. If, if we could get up on the top of the stereo, by climbing up the speakers. First of all we wouldn’t risk getting trampled, and second of all, we might find a way to get to the couch, and to the smaller table next to it.
CHAN: You know, I think it could work.
ROSS: Well, then let’s get moving. It’s a looooong way to the stereo from here.
JOEY: What are you talking about, it’s only like, a few steps.
CHAN: Could somebody find a way to ditch him somewere?
[Cut to: later]
[They have almost reached the couch]
CHAN: [out of breath] Could somebody please tell me why we can’t just climb up the couch emidiatly?
MNCA: Because it’s standing on four wodden legs, we can’t climb up them.
PHOE: Oh look, dustpile.
CHAN: [annoyed and sarcastic] Yes, scratchy?
PHOE: No, I ment actuall dustpiles.
[Suddenly Rachel enters the appartment, carrying a bubble machine]
RACH: You guys?
CHAN: [they’re holding their hands over their ears] Does she have to scream?
ROSS: Since we’re so small her voice is like, ten times higher at the least.
MNCA: This would really give Mr Heckles something to complain about.
RACH: Oh, that’s odd. They should be home by now. [yelling] Mon? Monica?
MNCA: Alright already, I hear you.
RACH: Okay, I’ll just write her a note.
[Walks over to the smaller table next to the couch. The others have to run for their lifes]
RACH: [takes a pen and a notepad] Let’s see… “Dear Monica. Charlie and I have gone to see a late movie. Catch you there or see you in the morning.”
THE OTHERS: RACHEL!
ROSS: It’s no use, she can’t hear us. We’re just to small.
MNCA: Let’s try it again. On my count. One, two…
ALL: RACHEL!
RACH: [thinks] “Oh, and by the way. Sorry about the lamp, it was an accident.”
MNCA: The lamp? What lamp?
[Rachel tears of the note, and puts a rubber on it to keep it in place. She places the bubble machine on top of the table, and turns it on, as a surprise for Monica when she “gets back”. Then she leaves]
JOEY: Great. Rachel’s our only hope, and she can’t even hear us.
MNCA: And she’s messing up the appartment with the bubbles.
CHAN: What are you so worried about, it’s soap. You know? Your best friend.
MNCA: Shut up, ant-boy.
ROSS: Let’s just keep going, okay? There’s still a long way to go ‘till the stereo.
MNCA: I guess I should try to look at this positivly. I get a great exersise.
[Cut to: later still]
[They have reached the stereo]
CHAN: [totaly out of breath. Like Jim Carrey in “Dumb and Dummer”] Where there!
MNCA: And now comes the hard part.
CHAN: Can’t we just stay here and rest for two seconds?
MNCA: You can rest when you’re in your grave. [starts climbing]
CHAN: Well, it looks like I’m gonna be there soon.
MNCA: [annoyed] Then why are you complaning?
[Chandler sighs and starts climbing]
ROSS: You know Mon, maybe he’s right. We could all use a rest. [Monica gives him an angry look from a decimeter up] On the other hand I’m not that exhausted. [starts climbing. Gets joined by Phoebe]
JOEY: [starts climbing. To Chandler and Ross. Quiet] You know what your problem is? You let her control you.
MNCA: [from a bit up] Hurry up, Joey you’re to far down.
[He starts climbing faster until he reaches Chandler]
PHOE: You guys, this is not good for people with a fear of heights. Joey don’t look down.
[He does that and sees that he’s three decimeters up, about one third of the speaker. To him, this is very high]
JOEY: [annoyed] Aww, Phoebs…
PHOE: Told you not to look.
CHAN: [to Joey] Atleast I’m just controlled by one woman.
MNCA: [near the top] Come on, you guys, this is no big deal.
CHAN: Easy for you to say, you don’t have the condition of a three year old with new dipers. [pause] Man, what I wouldn’t give for an hour at that Swedish spa at the gym.
ROSS: Aww... When you want it most of all…
MNCA: Wosses.
JOEY: [whiny] You couldn’t have gotten smaller speakers?
MNCA: [annoyed] No.
PHOE: Oh, this is so much fun! I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to be a cocroach.
MNCA: Well, you won’t find any in this appartment.
PHOE: Oh yeah? What’s that? [points to a cocroach somebody’s smushed against the speaker, and it’s stuck]
JOEY: Yeah, sorry about that.
MNCA: Eww, gross.
CHAN: I need a cigarett.
JOEY: You know it would be a whole lot easier without those damn bubbles everywere.
MNCA: [gets to the top] And I’m up!
CHAN: [stares up at her, three decimeters up] How the hell did you get up that fast?
MNCA: [throws down what really is a thin, thin thread, but to them a very thick rope] Here, grab on.
[Chandler who’s closest takes a hols]
MNCA: One at a time. Now, pull yourself up.
[He does so, and it goes faster]
JOEY: Oh God, I think I’m gonna fall.
MNCA: Well, leave that alone. We might need you later.
JOEY: For what, smoshing cochroaches twice my size?
ROSS: Actually, it’s more like six or seven times your size.
JOEY: [annoyed] I was making a remark Ross, not a science fact… thing.
CHAN: And I’m up. Thank you Mon, you’ve been very helpfull. Hey, Pheebs. Grab on!
[She does so, and Chandler and Monica start to pull her up. She takes a hold of the stereo a few centimeters from the top and lets go of the rope]
PHOE: Take care of Joey first, he’s really pooped!
[Chandler throws down the rope]
CHAN: [to Joey] Grab on, buddy!
[Monica helps Phoebe over the edge, and the three of them start to pull Joey up. He reaches the top the same time as Ross, and Monica helps him up, while Chandler and Phoebe help Joey]
JOEY: [out of breath] Thanks. This the rope?
CHAN: [sarcastic] No, this is dentalfloss.
ROSS: Do you think we can manage to get to the couch?
MNCA: Do you think we can use the rope?
CHAN: Nah. If we threw it towards the couch it would fall of it by our weight.
MNCA: Then what?
JOEY: Could we just rest for one minute, please?
MNCA: [sits] What is this deal with resting and you people?
CHAN: Monica. We don’t have your condition, okay? Some of us actually sleep ‘till nine ó clock in the morning, instead of getting up at six to run three miles and do twenty sit-ups before breakfast on weekends.
MNCA: [pause] You still haven’t gotten over the workout three years ago, have you?
JOEY: [lays down] Well I don’t know about you, but I need to rest. I mean we’ve been walking for over two hours, then climbed something, like, then a hundred times our size. [pause] Wow, these dustpiles are comfortable. [to Chandler] From now on, I’m never vacuuming under my bed.
[Chandler just stares at him]
MNCA: Have you rested enough yet?
JOEY: [upset] We’ve only rested for a minute!
MNCA: Well, that was what you asked for.
JOEY: Well, could I have another ten?
MNCA: Three.
JOEY: Eight.
MNCA: Five.
JOEY: Fine! [to Chandler] See? That’s how you deal with them.
[Cut to: Later]
[“Three minutes later” is written across the screen]
MNCA: [rising] Okay, time to get moving.
CHAN: So, where are we headed?
MNCA: We’re searching for something we can use to get to the couch.
PHOE: I don’t understand, why do we have to get to the couch? Oh, is it so we can read Rachel’s message?
MNCA: I wonder… Chandler could you give me a hand? I’m climbing up to the top of the stereo, but I need to reach that cables, so I have something to hold on to.
JOEY: Oh no, not more climbing!
[Chandler lifts her up. She grabs the cable, and starts to climb. She reaches the top]
MNCA: [from the top] You guys, come and see this!
[Chandler helps Phoebe up too, as well as Joey and Ross. Then he jumps for the cable, but misses]
JOEY: Tsss. White men can’t jump.
[Chandler tries again, and this time makes it. Up on the top Phoebe reaches it, and climbes over. She helps the guys up. Monica stands by the “front” edge, looking up. They walk up to her]
CHAN: Wow…
[We see the appartment from their point of wiev. It looks different, because they’re so small. It looks like what you see from the top of a mountain. The bubbles gives a nice touch to the place]
CHAN: Say what you want about those bubbles, but they sure make the place look pretty.
MNCA: Tell me about it.
PHOE: Well, they’re floating around and-- [realizes] Oh, so you were just agreeing, oh okay.
JOEY: I wish this place would have looked like this when we lived here.
ROSS: Guys? Guys? Yo tiny people!
[They break out of their “trance”]
ROSS: We kind off have to get going, okay? Try and find some way for us to get to the couch!
CHAN: Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.
ROSS: Well, think of it soon. We’ve been walking, and climbing for hours. We need food!
PHOE: Yeah, I know.
JOEY: How late is it?
MNCA: [checks watch] Eleven thirty. Oh God Rachel, please come home! If only she was bringing her date here, and putting on some romantic music… Then we could get her to see us.
ROSS: Do you really think she’ll be able to?
MNCA: We’re just very small persons Ross, we’re not bacterias.
CHAN: Very, very small persons.
JOEY: Very, very small persons who need to get to the couch.
PHOE: Wich is very, very big!
ROSS: Could people stop with the very, very talk? It’s getting very annoying.
PHOE: Very, very annoying.
[Ross gives her a look]
MNCA: Let’s see, if only we had--
ROSS: Well, we don’t… have it.
MNCA: [getting annoyed] You don’t even know what I was going to say!
ROSS: Well whatever it was we still won’t have it! We’re this big! [holds up his fingers what would be eight millimeters from eachother if he was full size]
CHAN: No, no actually we’re this big. [gestures to himself and his lenght]
MNCA: [ignoring Chander] You know, maybe you shouldn’t be so sure of yourself Ross. I mean, did it ever occur yo you that someone else might be right? [Ross’s look shows that it hasen’t] My God, what were you thinking?
ROSS: Well, how big is the chance that you might actually be able to find whatever it is that you need, huh?
CHAN: Guys, guys, let’s not fight now, okay? You can fight when we’re back to normal, I promise.
[They stand there for a while. Phoebe sits. They’re obviously thinking of a way to get to the couch]
CHAN: I’ve got it!
ROSS: [annoyed] You don’t have it.
CHAN: I have so got it! [The others looks at him, urging him to tell them] My computer! My laptop! I left it on! Now, if we could only get to our appartment then maybe we could type a message on it for Rachel.
ROSS: Great idéa. Unfortunatly, we still have to get to the couch to get there, and we need two doors open to get there. Then there’s the problem of getting up on the counter, or wherever you’re keeping it. And how were you expecting Rachel to find it?
CHAN: [dejected] It was just an idea.
PHOE: Yeah, Ross stop being so un-optemistic.
CHAN: You mean pessimistic?
PHOE: Nouh.
ROSS: Well, I’m sorry you guys, but I just don’t see any way out of this.
JOEY: We can’t give up hope. That’s like giving up your spirit. Hope is the last that abandones the human.
MNCA: [smiles] Exept for friends.
CHAN: [sarcastic] And the body hair. Exept if you shave it of.
PHOE: You know, I think Chandler’s plan might actually work! I mean, if we could only figure out a way to get to the couch then I’m sure the rest will work out some way.
ROSS: Well, Phoebs that’s what we’ve been doing for the past hours, trying to figure out a way to get to the couch.
JOEY: I don’t see why we have to get there in the first place.
CHAN: You’re not actually suggesting we climb back down again, are you?
JOEY: No. I’m just saying there might be other possabilities.
MNCA: Oh yeah? Like what?
JOEY: I don’t know… Getting into Rachel’s room and wait for her there.
MNCA: [rises] My God, Joey you’re a geniouse!
JOEY: I know.
MNCA: That would be perfect! All we need to do it find a way to get down there and up on her nighstand table or something. Come on, let’s go!
PHOE: [also rising] Where are we going?
MNCA: To the other speaker, the one close to Rachel’s room.
[She slides down the cable on the other side like a fireman slides down the pole]
CHAN: [following] And what exactley are we gonna do there?
MNCA: [Landed, starting to walk] I don’t know, but we’ll figure something out.
PHOE: [climbing down the cable] Oh, this is so much fun!
ROSS: [slowly climbing down] Well, Phoebe we’ve always had different oppinions on what’s fun. [he reaches the speaker and gets of]
JOEY: [starting to climb. Mocking] Cableguy!
PHOE: Stop it, you’re freaking me out!
MNCA: [quippy] What? Is it like “Mommy, help! Jim Carrey’s under my dustpile bed!”?
[They all reach the middle, and just stand there for a while]
CHAN: [to Monica] You do realize we’re back where we started.
PHOE: Actually, where we started was over there. [points to where they got beamed]
CHAN: [annoyed] I meant--
PHOE: Oh, I know what you meant, I was just pointing it out.
MNCA: We really could have used that rope now…
ROSS: You know you’re right. It would have been perfect for making like, a lasso or something and getting to her bed or otherwise.
MNCA: Well, we can just forget about that, can’t we?
PHOE: [annoyed] What is this, come as Mr. Pessemistic night?
CHAN: [sarcastic with an eye on his watch] Actually the night isn’t until midnight, and that’s not for another fifteen minutes.
JOEY: [yawns] I am really getting tired, you guys.
MNCA: Well, you can sleep later. First we need to get to Rachel’s room.
JOEY: [whiny] Well, why does it have to be so long?
MNCA: [annoyed] Because we’re the size of a fingernail, and this appartment’s the size of two giants fingernails.
JOEY: Footballplayers?
MNCA: Thee, thie, thow, thumb Joey.
JOEY: Oh, you mean giants, giants. [pause] From our size counted our, like Rachel’s?
MNCA: [truly annoyed. Just stares at him for a few seconds] Rachel’s point of wiev.
CHAN: I’ll take care of him… [holds up his watch and starts waving it back and forth like a pendelum] You’re feeling very sleepy, very relaxed…
JOEY: I am sleepy. But Ms Annoyingly Awake here won’t let me go to sleep.
CHAN: [thinks] You’re feeling very awake, very smart…
[Cut to: A few minutes later]
[They’re sitting on the speaker]
JOEY: [annoyed to Monica] You know, if you hadn’t been such a neat freak then we might have some nice comfortable dustpiles to sit on.
MNCA: [just as annoyed] Well, if I hadn’t been such a neat freak we might have been drowning in dust. Almost as if it had been your place, or something.
CHAN: [feigning hurt] You’re insulting my cleaning? What kind of a devil woman are you?
MNCA: You know what? [rises] Why don’t Chandler and I take a walk around and see if we can find anything, okay?
CHAN: Why me?
MNCA: Why not you?
CHAN: Okay, alright. You win. [rises] I’m such a woss.
MNCA: Come on Chandler, before I start growing mildue on my legs.
[They start walking]
MNCA: Oh, and by the way. It was the third week of the month.
CHAN: The fourth! The fourth, the fourth, the fourth, the fourth, the –
MNCA: [passing in] Third.
CHAN: Exactly. [realizes what he said] … Not true.
MNCA: [smiling] Oh, it is so true. And I can proove it to you.
CHAN: Oh yeah? How?
MNCA: Let’s just ask Ross, shall we?
CHAN: [whiny] Oh, it’s to late for “shall we”, Monica. It’s ten minutes to midnight, okay?
MNCA: [dreamy] Like it was that night the third week of the month…
CHAN: [correcting] Fourth.
MNCA: That’s right. Third.
[Cut to: the others]
PHOE: They’re gonna find something, aren’t they?
ROSS: I sure hope so… I’ve only felt this helpless once before in my life. When Ben was being born.
JOEY: Yeah, I know that feeling…
ROSS: One question. How?
JOEY: While Carol was giving birth I helped this other woman, Lydia, give birth to a baby girl.
PHOE: Oh, what a pretty story.
JOEY: Yeah… To bad she liked the Celtics.
[Cut to: Chandler and Monica]
CHAN: … And I know it was the fourth, because I had gotten a call from my mom that day, and she only calls the last week of every month.
MNCA: Exept for this time, when she called the second last.
CHAN: Now, listen. There’s one thing I know, and that’s --
[Monica taps him on the arm. He looks up and sees what she sees. They smile at eachother, and high five. The screen fades to…]
[Commercial Break]
[SCENE: Sometime later. What Chandler and Monica found was a pice of paper, that they’ve now folded into a paper airplane. Monica is sitting in the front, and the others are getting in]
JOEY: Are people sure this is going to work?
MNCA: Don’t worry, I’ve figured it all out.
JOEY: Yeah, like that’s a safetycard.
MCNA: [annoyed] Would you just get in?
[Joey does so. The other three start pushing it forward]
ROSS: Tell me again, how is this going to work?
MNCA: When we get close enough to the edge we all lean as much forward as we can. Then when the plane flys off, hopefully it’ll land on the couch.
PHOE: Okay, cool. [climbs in]
CHAN: Okay, and we’ve reached the edge.
MNCA: [cheerful] Jump in!
[They do so. They all start leaning forward, in a effort to make the plane tip over the edge]
MNCA: Come on!
[The plane tips over. We see things from Monica’s [sinse she’s in the front] point of wiev as the plane flys towards the couch. To the shot we hear them screaming. The shot starts when they tip over the edge, and fly off, straigh forward]
PHOE: [we see her] It’s working!
[Back to the shot. The plane turns to the left]
PHOE: [voice-over] No, it’s not.
[Suddenly the plane heads straight towards the floor, and they all lean back, but in after a few seconds the plane straightens itself up, and heads up instead. It turns to the right, and as it chrashes into the couch [not the side of it] we stop seing things from Monica’s eyes]
MNCA: [hand over head] Ow!
JOEY: [behind her] You okay, Mon?
PHOE: [behind him] That was so cool!
CHAN: [behind her. Sarcastic] Yeah, reminds me of your driving.
ROSS: [behind Chandler. Freaked] Huh!
MNCA: Come on, let’s get up! [rises] Woa… [almost looses her balance, but Joey catches her]
CHAN: Okay, so now all we have to do is get to the… small table.
[He has looked up and noticed something, wich we also get to see now. From where they are it’s a long walk]
[Cut to: Shortly after]
[They are walking towards the small table. It’s hard to walk, the couch is so soft]
MNCA: God, this is like climbing stairs without actual stairs.
PHOE: Yeah. Feels like walking on cushions.
MNCA: We are walking on cushions.
PHOE: Oh, I didn’t mean sofa cushions.
JOEY: This sucks. I’m gonna miss my audition if things doesn’t happen soon.
MNCA: Relax, all we need is for Rachel to come home.
CHAN: What if she comes home and sits on us … Or has sex on us.
JOEY: Why would she do that?
MNCA: [explaning] If she doesn’t see us and sits in the couch… I don’t think I need to finish that line!
JOEY: Oh, I get it.
PHOE: Hey, Ross. You should know. Is Rachel heavy?
ROSS: Phoebs, to us an ant is heavy.
PHOE: So, is Rachel an ant? Weightwise?
MNCA: [a bit ahead] Guys, I’m almost there!
CHAN: Well, that figures. [to Joey] How the hell does that woman manage?
JOEY: Beats me.
[Monica has reached the armrest of the couch]
MNCA: Come on, you guys, it’s close to one in the morning, we have got to get moving!
CHAN: Easy for you to say, you’re already there, you can rest.
[After a few seconds, though, they all reach the armrest]
MNCA: And now, the climbing begins.
CHAN: Mon, switch bodies with me!
MNCA: Stop making lousy jokes, get up there!
[Phoebe and Joey start climbing]
CHAN: No fare, you always win!
MNCA: [sweetly] I’ll give you a head start…
CHAN: [thinks] Deal!
[Starts climbing. Soon, Ross starts climbing. When Chandler is halfway up Monica starts]
[Quick cut to: A few minutes later]
[Monica climbs over the “edge”, with Phoebe right behind. After a few seconds Chandler comes up]
CHAN: I give up! To beat you you have to be on steroids.
[Joey climbs over the edge]
JOEY: Stop whining, atleast you beat Ross!
ROSS: [yelling from a bit down] What?
[They look over the edge, and see Ross, still a bit down]
CHAN: Oh, come on! Even I got up faster than that!
ROSS: [yelling] I would give you the finger, but in that case I might fall!
[Cut to: Later]
ROSS: [who is now up] Well, Mon now what? What’s our brilliant plan?
MNCA: We need to get across the hall.
ROSS: Yes, but how?
MNCA: Don’t ask me. I plan the destination, you guys plan the trip.
ROSS: [to Chandler] How come I feel like we drew the shortest stick there?
MNCA: I think I have an idea…
JOEY: And I think I need to go to the bathroom.
MNCA: How can you need to go to the bathrom, you haven’t eaten or drinked anything for hours!
JOEY: So?
MNCA: Well, stop feeling. You can go when we get back to our normal size, you would just fall into the toilet.
PHOE: What’s the idea?
MNCA: We can use the bubblemaker.
JOEY: To do what?
MNCA: If we… If we could somehow get into the bubbles, and fly over to the door…
JOEY: Wouldn’t the bubbles burst?
MNCA: No… No, I think we could make it…
ROSS: Do we all fit in one bubble?
MNCA: [thoughtfull] We can’t all go in the same, they probably would burts if we weighed to much.
ROSS: [sarcastic] Yes, and we’re all on the verge of popping the scale.
MNCA: We’ll go two and two.
CHAN: Yeah. Joey and Phoebe…
MNCA: And me and Chandler. Ross, you and your intestances can go by yourselfes.
CHAN: Okay, Mon… Ready to go?
MNCA: Okay.
JOEY: Wait a second. How do we get into the bubbles?
MNCA: Jump into one of the bubble… making… hole’s.
CHAN: Like this.
[He takes Monica’s hand]
MNCA/CHAN: One… Two… Threeee!
[When they say three they jump into one of the hole’s, and get into a bubble. We see them inside]
MNCA: Wow… What an experience.
CHAN: Tell me about it… Not many people can brag about beeing inside a soap bubble.
MNCA: So romantic!
CHAN: You… You think?
MNCA: Yeah… I do.
[They get eyecontact]
[Cut to: The bubblemachine]
JOEY: They made it! It worked!
PHOE: Okay, our turn.
JOEY: We’re gonna die!
PHOE: Come on, Joey. Let’s go get bubbled!
JOEY: [grumpy] Oh. Okay.
PHOE: [dramatically] Bye, Ross.
[She kisses him on the cheek. She and Joey goes infront of the machine]
JOEY: Do, uh… Do we have to count?
PHOE: You want me to push you through?
JOEY: Counting will be good.
PHOE/JOEY: One… Two… Three… [pause] Four.
[At four they jump]
[Cut to: Chandler and Monica’s bubble]
[Monica’s gently pressing her hands against the edge of the bubble, fascinated]
CHAN: [eying her, lovingly] You liking it, huh?
MNCA: It’s so pretty… I’ve never seen my appartment like this before… Oh my, I forgot a spot when I vacuumed last night.
CHAN: You mean two nights ago. It’s past midnight.
MNCA: Whatever.
[Cut to: Joey and Phoebe’s bubble]
PHOE: You know, it’s fashinating how un-wet soap can be.
JOEY: Uh, to be honest Phoeebs, I don’t really care.
PHOE: Look at this place! It’s like… An appartment seen from a soap bubble!
[turns to him] We could win a pultzer for a picture from this wiev. [pause] Did you bring your camera?
JOEY: Uh, sorry not.
PHOE: Oh, look! [points to Chandler and Moncia’s bubble] They’re coming in for landing!
[Cut to: Chandler and Monica’s bubble]
MNCA: It looks like we can land softly on that towel!
CHAN: Uh-oh!
MNCA: What, what is it?
CHAN: There are lots of sharp edges!
MNCA: Woss.
[The bubble comes to close to the edge of a cabnet and bursts. They fall to the ground, about two decimetres, holding eachother’s hands. They look like Alladin and Jasmine trying to get away from the soldiers (“Aladdin”)]
CHAN: [after a rough landing. Sarcastic (what else?)] Thank you for choosing AB Bubble-flight, please stay in your seats ‘till the bubble’s burst completly. Ouch! [rubs his head]
MNCA: My ass!
CHAN: [looks up] Uhm, we might wanna move, Joey and Phoeebs are on their way.
MNCA: I do not wanna work as an airbag for neither one of them.
[However, Joey and Phoebe’s bubble comes lightly down, and lands next to Chandler and Monica]
MNCA: [childish] Hey, how come they got the better bubble?
CHAN: I think we need to help them out…
[They go over and help them out, by bursting the bubble. After a while Ross comes]
JOEY: (when they’re all “out”) Okay, so now what?
MNCA: Now, we just need to get across the hall…
CHAN: Mon, that’s… a bit hard.
MNCA: You can go be you somewere else. Help me figure out a way to get to the door.
ROSS: [angry] You know, why don’t you think of that, and we’ll think of how to open the door!
MNCA: Stop being angry, I don’t know what else to do.
PHOE: Oh, look. Cockroaches!
[Chandler and Joey do a “cut” sign behind Moncia’s back]
MNCA: [upset] Cocroach?!
PHOE: Don’t worry Monica… My eyesight sucks.
JOEY: Come on, Mon… Your kitchen is compulsavly clean, a cocroach wouldn’t live a minute here!
ROSS: Hey, I see it too!
[Chandler and Joey give up]
MCNA: Oh my God!
CHAN: Come on, Monica… Chill out. Calm down.
MNCA: [freaky] Calm down? There is a cocroach in my compulsivly neat kitchen!
CHAN: Oh, this is great. Now she’s gonna become even more neat freaky.
MNCA: [near tears] Okay, fine! [walks away, angry]
CHAN: [calling after her] Mon!
PHOE: Where is she going?
[Monica ignores them, and ties a rope to the tap, and uses it to get down. Then she pulls the rope, and it bursts and comes down to her]
JOEY: She took the rope! I thought she used it as a way for all of us to get down.
PHOE: Where is she headed now?
[Cut to: Monica]
[She’s very angry and hurt. She’s heading for the door]
MNCA: They can all go to hell. I don’t need them. I’m the one with the most ideas, anyway. It’s gonna be hard for them to get across the hall.
[She reaches for the door, and looks up, with an idea. She makes a lasso with the rope, and throws it up. It falls back. She thinks, and tries again. This time she gets help from a bubble, and the rope goes up a bit over the door handle. The bubble bursts, and the rope falls down, and gets “stuck” on the handle]
MNCA: Yes!
[She moves to the left, and the rope ”threads” on to the doorhandle, and she pulls, and it tightens]
MNCA: Thank you, Nana, for teaching me this! [starts to climb]
[Cut to: The other four]
[The others have found a hankie, and know they’re each holding on to a “corner”]
PHOE: Wow, check it out!
CHAN: What?
PHOE: There is a giant spider over there by the watertap. [remembers something] Oh, I’m afraid of spiders! Eww, make it go away!
CHAN: It’s all right, Phoebs, the bad spider is gone.
PHOE: [relieved] Really?
CHAN: Well no, but I didn’t know what else to tell ‘ya.
ROSS: I thought you loved all animals, Phoebe.
PHOE: I do, it’s just that… I hate spiders.
JOEY: Better not see “Arachnofobia.”
PHOE: No, cause I hate arrac too.
CHAN: Are we ready?
JOEY: No. [they all stare at him] Oh, come on! How are we supposed to survive this? And even if we do, how are we gonna get across the hall?
ROSS: So, what are you suggesting?
JOEY: That we go catch up with Monica. I bet she has an idea.
PHOE: [streaching to look] Apparantly.
JOEY: Thank you.
PHOE: No, I mean she really does. She’s gone.
ROSS: She-- [turns quickly to see. No Monica. Turns to Chandler, angry] This is all your fault!
CHAN: How is this my fault?!
ROSS: Because it is.
CHAN: Gee, that clears it!
PHOE: [yelling] Stop yelling!
CHAN: [angry] The only one yelling is you!
PHOE: Okay, then shut up!
CHAN: [angry] Tell that to him, [points to Ross] he’s the one who started it!
ROSS: Don’t blame me!
JOEY: [immitating Mat Hooper in “Jaws]” Boys. Oh boys!
ROSS/CHAN/PHOE: What?!
JOJOEY: [calm] Remember that cocroach I smushed?
PHOE: Murderer.
JOEY: Well, ah… I think his big brother’s here to pay us back. [slowly backs towards the edge]
[The others turn and see the (to them) giant cocroach coming at the. They all scream, and start running towards the edge. Well there they jump, and the napkin folds out as a parashoot for them. Chandler looks up and sees the cocroach standing near the edge]
CHAN: [turns to Joey] Quite powerfull enimies you’ve got there.
PHOE: Maybe this’ll be a lesson for you. Crime doesn’t pay, and you shouldn’t smosh cocroaches.
CHAN: [sarcastic] I knew there was a sensmorale!
[Cut to: The keyhole in the door, a few minutes earlier]
[Monica climbs in, and couchs]
MNCA: Oh, God. I’d better remember to clean this place better.
[She turns, and picks up the rope]
MNCA: I think this’ll come in handy.
[She starts walking. Climbing would be a better word]
MNCA: Rachel, please don’t come home now! If you attempt to turn the key I’m a dead gal. And dying at the size of eight mm is not what I call nice.
[She can hear the others scream, while they’re running away from the cocroach]
MNCA: [annoyed] Now what?
[She has to walk on a small edge, the size of half her feet length, and almost as long as she is. Suddenly she slips, and falls. Terrified she screams]
[Cut to: The others]
[They’re sailing towards the floor, slowly. Suddenly Monica’s scream cuts through the air]
CHAN: [worried, whispering] Monica… ! [normal voice, worried] You guys, something has happened to Monica!
ROSS: [not caring] My guess would be a bug.
CHAN: [worried] No. She wouldn’t scream like that if it was just a bug.
JOEY: Maybe it was two bugs!
CHAN: [worried] You guys! Something has happened!
ROSS: Calm down, would ‘ya?!
CHAN: [worried] Calm down? Something’s happened to your sister and you say calm down?
ROSS: My sister is fine. Wich is more than I can say about you for the moment.
PHOE: I’m with Chandler on this one.
ROSS: First time for everything.
PHOE: No, cause I saw her using the rope to get to the keyhole.
JOEY: So?
PHOE: What if she fell down the other side?
CHAN: [worried] Oh, God!
ROSS: With all do respect Phoebe, you’re insane. Monica has got eyes!
CHAN: [angry at Ross and worried] She’s upset! She can be very uncarefull when she’s upset.
JOEY: Wh--, what are we going to do?
PHOE: We have to get to the other side.
ROSS: No. My sister is fine!
CHAN: [angry with Ross, worried] That’s it, I’m out of here!
JOEY: Where are you going? We’re in the air, flying by the door, thanks to the bubblemaker.
CHAN: Door…
[They come closer to the doorhandle]
ROSS: And what are you going to do? We’re in the middle of tha air, you can’t just jump.
CHAN: Well, I’m gonna!
PHOE: No, no, no, Chandler no!
[Chandler lets go of the napkin, and gets a hold of the handle]
PHOE: Oh God!
JOEY: What? He made it!
PHOE: But we’re one man short!
JOEY: Chandler’s not a man. Chandler’s a woss.
ROSS: Atleast he can drink Raki without making a face.
PHOE: No, never mind that. But our weights are uneven.
[They suddenly fall faster, and bump into the door. Then the “wind” changes and they go against the machine. There they land]
JOEY: Ouch!
PHOE: Bumpy ride!
ROSS: I’m gonna kill that man!
[Cut to: The keyhole]
[Chandler swings himself inside. Oh, and the voices echo]
CHAN: [coughs] Mon? Monica?
MNCA: [voice over. Loud] Chandler? Chandler, help me!
CHAN: [loud] Were are you? I can’t see you!
MCNA: [voice over. Loud] I’m down here!
CHAN: Where?
MNCA: [voice over] Where are you standing?
CHAN: [yelling, so she can hear] At the… opening.
MNCA: [loud, voice over] There is a big hole infront of you--
CHAN: [worried, walks over. Loud] My God, are you down there?
MNCA: [voice over] No. [loud] Climb over it. Be carefull!
CHAN: [loud] Okay, okay. [lower] I’m climbing over… Being carefull… [reaches the other end. Louder] Now what? [beat] Monica? [worried] Monica? [loud] Monica! Answer me!
MNCA: [voice over] I’m down here.
CHAN: And where is here?
MNCA: [voice over] Just follow my voice.
CHAN: [starts walking, loud] You know, If I’m gonna follow the sound of your voice you’d better say something!
MNCA: [voice over. Weak] Hurry up! And watch out for the holes.
CHAN: [loud] You know, I never thought a keyhole could be this big!
MNCA: [voice over. Weak] Hurry…
[Chandler reaches a hole, and looks down. At the bottom of a hole about twice their size Monica half sits. She’s looking weak]
CHAN: [emotional] Monica…
MCNA: [begging] Help me.
CHAN: Okay, okay here. [lays down and streaches out] Reach for my hand. [She rises, slowly]
CHAN: Come on, hurry up a bit!
[She rises, and reaches for his hand. However he’s to high up]
CHAN: Try jumping.
MNCA: I can’t.
CHAN: Why not? You can, Monica!
MNCA: No… I think my ancle is broken in the fall, I can barely stand.
[Chandler is quiet. He knows it’s probably impossible to get her up under those circumstanses]
MNCA: [begging] Chandler, stay with me!
CHAN: [calmer than he feels] Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you. Now, come on. Jump!
[She tries, but misses his hands and screams in pain when she lands]
MNCA: [almost crying] I can’t!
CHAN: Yes you can. Now come on. Come on, baby, don’t give up!
[He leans more forward, and she jumps again and misses his hands again]
MNCA: [crying] I can’t!
CHAN: Don’t say that, you know you can. Come on! For me! Could you try it one more time for me?
MNCA: [crying] I’d do anything for you.
[Tries again, and misses. Cries harder. Chandler looks like he’s caught between hell and the pergatory]
CHAN: [low] Monica, don’t give up on me here.
MNCA: [crying. Loosing it] I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!
CHAN: [tries a new tactic] Monica. If you don’t jump up and grab my hands, I’m gonna be stuck here forever. And forever, in this case, won’t be long, cause when Rachel comes home she’s gonna turn the key, and that’ll be it! Now, come on!
MNCA: [trough tears] I’m so sorry Chandler, but I just can’t.
CHAN: [desperate] Please!
MNCA: [crying] Okay… I’ll try… one last time… [pause, sobbing] The goddamned rope is in the way!
CHAN: [low, to himself] Rope. [getting an idea, exhited] Rope! Monica! Throw up the rope.
MNCA: [trough tears] What?
CHAN: The rope. Tie one end round yourselfe, and throw me the other end.
[There is a small pause while Monica, silently sobbing fumbles with the not, and throws him the other edge]
CHAN: Good girl…
[He starts pulling her up. It doesn’t go fast, ‘cause she’s heavy to him. After a while she reaches him. She grabs a hold of him, and he hugs her. She cries hysterically]
MNCA: I thought I’d never get up! That no one would ever come!
CHAN: I heard you scream… You made it, Mon.
MNCA: [crying] I was so scared!
CHAN: Here. Let me pull you up. [does so, and takes her in his arms] It’s okay, Mon… It’s okay…
MCNA: [whispering through tears] Thank you.
CHAN: [smiles] Hey. What are best friends for?
MNCA: [not crying as hard] You saved my life…
[Shivering from her sobbing she kisses him]
CHAN: [after the kiss] Any time… [after a pause] Can you walk?
MNCA: [hardly sobbing at all] I don’t know.
[He rises, and she tries to, with his support. She laughs between her tears, that are few now]
MNCA: It hurts all right… But I’ll manage.
CHAN: Come on, we’d better get going.
MNCA: Yeah. I was thinking, why don’t we get to the hall side of the keyhole, and throw the rope over to your doorknob, and get into your appartment.
CHAN: What about the others?
MNCA: The others will be fine. Now, come on!
[Cut to: A few minutes later]
[They’re standing at the opening of the keyhole]
CHAN: Mon, are you sure you know how to do this?
MNCA: Of course I am. [thinks] Give me your keys.
CHAN: Excuse me?
MNCA: Your keys. Give them to me.
CHAN: What, are you gonna unlock the door?
MNCA: No, but I need something that weights on the loop end.
[She takes his keys and hers and throws the lasso, and gets a jackpot the first try]
MNCA: Bullseye!
CHAN: [amased] Good girl…
[She ties the end in her hand to the doorhandle, and they proceed to get to the other side]
[Cut to: Later]
[They’ve reached the guys place and the counter where the laptop is. They help eachother move the mouse to make the screensaver go away]
MNCA: [looking at the screen] Bio of Yasmine Bleeth?
CHAN: [avoidingly] Well, you’ve gotta have the computor to something.
MNCA: Okay… Let’s make a message. [limps towards the keypad]
CHAN: Mon… wait.
[She stops and looks at him]
CHAN: I… just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said earlier.
MNCA: [smiles] You’re forgiven. You saved my life, I owe you plenty.
CHAN: [joking] Well, you can make it up to me in my bedroom later. No, seriously, Mon. You mean allot to me, and I shouldn’t have hurted you like that.
MNCA: I know, you shouldn’t have… But you’re forgiven.
CHAN: And you were right… We first slept together the third week of the month.
MNCA: I know…
CHAN: [pause] Well, maybe we should start typing.
MCNA: Oh. Right. Yeah.
[They get up on the keypad]
CHAN: Okay… What to type.
MNCA: Come on, let’s type!
[Cut to: The hallway]
RACH: [comes up] Hmmm… I wonder if the guys are up yet. I just remember we’re out of milk. [goes into the guys place] Chandler? Joey? That’s odd. Hey, Chandler’s computer’s on. [goes over, and sees the unfinished message. plussed, reading] “Rachel, we’re in” In? We’re in what?
CHAN: [to Monica, Rachel hasen’t spotted them] Come on, here’s our chance. [They start typing]
RACH: [watching the screen] Oh, my God! Chandler’s gonna go crazy, the computers writing stuff on it’s own. [reads] “Rachel, look down!” [she does so] Oh, cute! The computer is tyiping on it’s own!
[Chandler and Monica give eachother a look in agreement over how hopeless things are]
RACH: [reading from the screen] “You see us?”
[Once again she looks down. She looks shocked, and reaches for a magnifying glass on the counter. She holds it up, and trough the glass we (and Rachel) see Monica and Chandler waving]
RACH: Oh my God! Mon? Chandler?
[Monica and Chandler do a happy high five. Rachel bends down ‘till her head’s on their level]
RACH: My Go-- [sees them holding their hands over their ears. Low] My God what happened to you guys?
[They start to tell her, and we see them through the glass, but their voices are to low. They start mimicking]
RACH: Okay… Okay… What happened to the others? [pause] Okay, well, come on then. [picks them up carefully]
[Cut to: Monica’s place]
[Rachel has (with the help of Chandler and Monica) found the others. They’re all gathered on the floor, and Rachel’s by the machine, eying a paper]
RACH: Okay… According to Chandler and Monica I’m supposed to press this button… [presses it] and wait. [pause] Okay, I’ve waited.
[We see the corner of the small screen again, and it’s reached 100%]
RACH: I think It’s ready now, it says “reverse” and “100½” in the corner. Okay, I’m pressing the red button…
[She closes her eyes. We see the small people, Chandler with an arm round Monica, and holding one of her hands with the other, Phoebe looking over Joey’s shoulder and Ross just standing there. Rachel pushes the button, hesitatly and with her eyes closed. Once again a beam goes out, and hits the gang. They un-shrink, and turn into their normal sizes]
RACH: It worked!
MNCA: I’m my size again!
[She and Chandler hug]
PHOE: Oh, it feels so good having my long legs back!
ROSS: Uhm, Mon…
[She looks up from Chandler’s shoulder]
ROSS: Look… I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass…
MNCA: [smiles] You’re forgiven.
[Joey heads for the bathroom]
PHOE: Were are you going?
JOEY: To check that everything’s un-shrunk!
[Closing credits]
[SCENE: Monica’s place. She and Chandler are lying on the couch, her foot is in a cast]
MNCA: [smiles] You know, I think you deserve an award for saving my life and treating me so nice. You wanna go to the bedroom?
CHAN: Nah.
MNCA: “Nah”?
CHAN: Don’t get me wrong or anything… It’s just that a naked woman turns me on, but a naked woman with a cast makes me feel sorry for her.
MNCA: [strokes his hair, sweetly] You know what I’m gonna do with this cast when I get it off?
CHAN: No.
MNCA: [sweetly] I’m gonna bash your head in with it.
PHOE: [enters] Ross alert.
[Chandler sighs, and rises. Ross and Rachel enter]
RACH: Hey.
MNCA: So, so, how did it go with the second date?
RACH: Oh, I think I’m in love!
CHAN: [glad] Really?
RACH: No. But it’s not too far away, though.
JOEY: [enters] Hey guys!
MNCA: Hey, how’d it go, did you get a second chance?
JOEY: Well, after I told them I had small big problems they forgave me, and I’m getting a second shot tomorrow.
MCNA: That’s great!
JOEY: Yeah. Plus, Steve didn’t show up either, so he had a new shoot scheduled.
[With a little help from Ross Monica sits up. Ross and Phoebe sit next to her on the couch, and Chandler in the chair. Rachel sits on the floor]
JOEY: Oh, and I sold our story to Buena Vista!
MNCA: No way!
CHAN: Cool!
PHOE: They’re gonna make a movie about it?
JOEY: Well, not exactly alike. But they’re making a movie with a people shrinking machine!
ROSS: That is so great for you, you get to be the leading role!
JOEY: Well, not really. They’re giving the role to Rick Moranis.
The end!