[Scene: Central Perk. The gang is sitting there drinking coffee.]

Chandler: Oh!!!!

Monica: What??

Chandler: Oh!

Joey: Right...(nods his head)

Gjoey: (glances at watch) Oh!

Monica: What!?!?!?

Chandler, Gjoey and Joey: BAYWATCH!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s apartment. Everyone minus the Joey’s are there. Joey runs in with the Chick, Gjoey right behind.]

Joey: Look!

Chandler: Oh

Rachel: My

Phoebe: God!

Monica: What!?!?

Ross: Nothing...

[The Joey’s leave and Monica stalks off to her bedroom.]

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica’s sitting there alone. A cute guy enters. And goes to the counter and gets a cup of coffee. The guy looks around for a place to sit, the only empty space is on the couch next to Monica. The guy looks nervous, but heads over anyway. BTW, the guy is played by the guy who plays Diego on Jesse.]

Cute guy: Hi.

Monica: Hi.

[They both look at each other then away, nervous.]

Cute guy and Monica: So...

Monica: you.

Cute guy: Thanks.

Monica: Well?

Cute guy: umm.

Monica: Yeah?

Cute guy: Dave

Monica: Monica

Dave: Dating?

Monica: (looks sad) Nooo!!!!

Dave: Wanna?

Monica: Sure.

Dave: Movie

Monica: Time?

Dave: 7 o’clock

Monica: Here?

Dave: Right

Monica: Bye

Dave: cya

[Dave leaves and Chandler enters right away.]

Chandler: Hey!

Monica: Hi!

Chandler: wasup?

Monica: Date!

Chandler: Really?

Monica: Yeah!

[Chandler depressed]

Monica: Okay?

Chandler: (pretending to be happy, but doesn’t fool us, but does fool
Monica) Yeah...

Monica: GTG

Chandler: Bye

(Monica leaves and Chandler sits there depressed.)

[Scene: Phoebe’s apartment. She and Jeffrey are sitting in a chair
watching TV. Jeffrey looks happy, and Phoebe looks mad. Jeffrey
notices.]

Jeffrey: Honey?

Phoebe: Leave!

Jeffrey: What?

Phoebe: Leave!

Jeffrey: Why?

Phoebe: Because

Jeffrey: Wrong?

Phoebe: You!

Jeffrey: What?

Phoebe: Bye

Jeffrey: But...

Phoebe: No!

[Jeffrey gets up and leaves.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel’s. The gang is all there minus Phoebe. Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: Hiii!

Monica: Wrong?

Phoebe: Nothing...

Rachel: [sarcastically] right

Phoebe: Nothing!

Chandler: Pheebs?

Phoebe: Jeffrey

Ross: What?

Phoebe: Broke....

Joey: Why?

Phoebe: Cheated!

Rachel: Honey...

Phoebe: Fine

Monica: Sure?

Phoebe: nooo....

Gjoey: Here... (gives Phoebe a hug. Everyone joins in)

Rachel: Jerk.

Phoebe: Know...

Monica: Sorry...

Ross: Everything...

Phoebe: know...

Monica: Time?

Chandler: 6:55

Gjoey: Why?

Monica: Date!!

Rachel: Who?

Monica: Dave....
Rachel: meet?

Monica: later....

Gjoey: Bye

Monica: cya...

[Monica leaves. Everyone turns to Chandler.]

Chandler: Fine!

Ross: Really?

Chandler: Nooo.....

[Once again, a group hug.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Rachel: Sorry...

[Hallway between apartments. Monica and Dave are standing there saying goodnight.]

Monica: So....

Dave: Tomorrow?

Monica: Sure.

Dave: Well...

Monica: time?

Dave: 6 .

Monica: where?

Dave: Here.

Monica: Dinner?

Dave: Right.

[Dave turns to leave]

Monica: Wait.

Dave: Yeah?

Monica: Drink?

Dave: Sure.

[They head into the apartment. No surprise, everyone’s waiting.]

Monica: Oh.

Dave: Hi.

Rachel: Sorry.

Monica: S’okay.

Ross: Dave?

Dave: Ross!

Ross: wasup?

Dave: Nothing.

Ross: Monica?

Monica: You...?

Chandler: Dave?

Dave: Chandler!

Chandler: Oh

Dave: My

Ross: God!

Dave: Monica?

Ross: Sister!

Dave: Kidding?

Chandler: Nope!

Dave: Ohmigod!

Monica: Wha?

Ross: Oh!
 

Chandler: University...

Monica: Oh...

Rachel: Uh oh...

[Phoebe stands and pats Monica on the back. She pulls Monica to Chandler.]

Phoebe: Lobsters!

Dave: Wha?

[Everyone’s eyes widen.]

Monica: Nah...

Dave: Lobsters?

Phoebe: Yeah!

Ross: Um...

Phoebe: Claws. [She acts out the claws.] Um...

Ross: Old...

Phoebe: Tanks...

Dave: Whatever.

[Rachel stands and kisses Ross.]
 

Rachel: Lobsters.

Dave: Oh!

Monica: [pointing to Chandler] Nope!

Chandler: [nodding sadly] Just...

Monica: ...friends.

Chandler: Right.

[The gang exchange looks.]

[Scene: Monica’s Place. Dave is sitting at a table. Monica comes out from behind the counter and joins him.]

Dave: [in a Ross-type way.] Hi.

Monica: Hey.

Dave: Um...

Monica: Yeah?

Dave: Chandler?

Monica: Oh...

Dave: Love?

Monica: Once.
 

Dave: Anymore?

Monica: No.

Dave: Sure?

Monica: Positive!

Dave: ‘Kay

Monica: tonight?

Dave: Sure

Monica: 6?

Dave: ‘Kay

Monica: Seeya

Dave: Bye.

[Scene: Chandler and the Joey’s. Chandler’s sitting on his chair, depressed in sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Gjoey enters and walks over to Chandler. She sits down in the chair opposite him.]

Chandler: Hiiii....

Gjoey: sorry...

Chandler: Why?

Gjoey: Monica

Chandler: ohh...

Gjoey: So?

Chandler: Why?

Gjoey: revenge

Chandler: Why?

Gjoey: Hurt

Chandler: Right...

Gjoey: Bad...

Chandler: Know....

Gjoey: really

Chandler: (mad) KNOW!

Gjoey: Sorry....

Chandler: Why....

Gjoey: Cos...

Chandler: Sucks....

Gjoey: know

Chandler: Back

Gjoey: yeah....

[Gjoey moves over and gives her brother (half) a hug.]

[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler’s sitting there alone. A cute girl enters. And goes to the counter and gets a cup of coffee. The girl looks around for a place to sit, the only empty space is on the couch next to Chandler. The girl looks nervous, but heads over anyway. BTW, the girl is played by Courteney Cox. Sort of like the same idea with Russ.]

Cute girl: Hi.

Chandler: Hi.

[They both look at each other then away, nervous.]

Cute Girl and Chandler: So...

Chandler: you.

Cute girl: Thanks.

Chandler: Well?

Cute girl: umm.

Chandler: Yeah?

Cute girl: Penny

Chandler: Chandler

Penny: Dating?

Chandler: (looks sad) Nooo!!!!

Penny: Wanna?

Chandler: Sure.

Penny: Movie

Chandler: Time?

Penny: 7 o’clock

Chandler: Here?

Penny: Right

Chandler: Bye

Penny: cya

[Cut to Chandler’s bedroom. Chandler’s asleep. He lets out a yell and sits up. Gjoey and Joey run into his room. Joey’s carrying a teapot and Gjoey’s holding a fryingpan.]

Chandler: Sorry.

Gjoey: Wrong?

Chandler: Monica...

Joey: What?

Chandler: Dream

Gjoey: Bout?

Chandler: Dating...

Joey: Who?

Chandler: Monica..

Gjoey: ohhh

Chandler: BUT

Gjoey: What?

Chandler: Wasn’t.

Gjoey and Joey: ohhhhh....

Chandler: [almost crying] know....

End Credits

[Scene: Monica and Dave kissing in the hallway. All of a sudden, Dave changes to being Chandler. Monica gasps and backs away.]

Dave: What?

Monica: Chandler???

Dave: What!?
 
Monica: Oops

Dave: Huh?

Monica: Sorry.