TOW The Roof
(Opening Scene: Monica and Rachel's Apartment. Friday evening. Ross and Monica just got back from their parent's house for the week. Monica is in shock as she enters.)
MNCA: What the hell happened?
(Dirty Clothes and shrewn on the floor, newspapers are scattered around the room, the dishes are piled up in the sink, their are crumbs on the table (Yes. Crumbs!), there's a certain smell that Monica can't seem to place.)
ROSS: Looks like the work of Hurricane Bonnie. (Rachel walks out of the bedroom.) Or Hurricane Rachel.
RACH: Hey guys! Did you have fun?
MNCA: What did you do to my apartment?
RACH: Don't worry I'll clean it soon.
MNCA: Well, you wouldn't have had this problem if you clean up after yourself!
RACH: Don't be so picky! If I had known you were coming back today I would've clean it up sooner.
MNCA: We called you this morning, remember?
RACH: Oh yeah.
ROSS: Monica, I don't see what the problem is. I mean, you can clean it up, right?
MNCA: That's not the point. It's just that every time she makes a mess, I clean it up! I'm SICK of cleaning up after you, Rach.
ROSS: That's not fair it's...
MNCA: (Interrupting) Great, now you're taking her side. (Starting to turn back and exit apartment.)
CHAN: (Walks in. Runs into Monica. Sees mess.) Hey Mon, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were gone for a week! Oh wait! You were. (Monica runs out. Chandler looks out after her. He sees her run upstairs.) What? What did I say? (Re-enters Apartment) What's eating her? Oh never mind I think I can solve that question myself. Rach, what did you do? This place looks like a dump.
RACH: I was living, Chandler. Maybe you should try it sometime.
CHAN: I can see why Monica was pissed!
ROSS: Hey that's not fair. So Rachel's life's a little messy. Who cares?
CHAN: Who cares? Who CARES? Monica does! (To Rachel) She doesn't expect you to be as neat as her, but I'm sure she expects you to clean up after yourself. Is that too much to ask? (looks at both Ross and Rachel. Both are quiet.) Yeah.. now if you don't mind, I'm going to talk to Monica. (Exits)
RACH: Did that make any sense?
ROSS: Surprisingly yes.
RACH: Come on. Let's start cleaning.
(The two start cleaning. Duh! Then Phoebe walks out of Monica's bedroom with Dick and Little Yasmine following her.)
PHOE: Do you think we should tell Monica about the mess Dick and Yasmine left on her bed?
OPENING CREDITS
(Scene: The roof on top of the apartment. Monica is standing in a corner. Overlooking the city. The sun is setting in the horizon. Chandler sees the open door and enters the roof and sees Monica. Sneaks up behind Monica.)
CHAN: Hey, you ok?
MNCA: (Slighty startled.) OH.. Chandler! Don't do that. (playfully slaps his arm.)
CHAN: Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
MNCA: (Smiles) The view is wonderful isn't it?
CHAN: (Looks at horizon.) Yeah, if you think smog is great.
MNCA: Not the smog, the sunset. It's beautiful isn't it?
CHAN: I can think of more beautiful things to look at.
MNCA: (Hopeful) Name one.
CHAN: Well ah... Hey, do you wanna come back down to the apartment?
MNCA: Nah, I think I'll stay here.
CHAN: No problem. (Heading for exit. Reaches it and tries to open door. Only to find it locked.) Uh oh!
MNCA: (Turns around) What?
CHAN: It's the door. It's locked.
MNCA: Are you sure? (heads towards the door. Tries the know only to find the same result.) Darn! I kept the door open. How did it close?
CHAN: I must have accidentally closed it when I came looking for you.
MNCA: Great. (Heads back to ledge)
(Scene: Monica and Rachel's Apartment. Hours Later. Everyone but Joey, Monica, and Chandler are there. Joey walks in.)
JOEY: Hey have you guys seen Chandler?
ROSS: He was here a few hours ago. Why?
CHAN: Baywatch started a few minutes ago. He missed the part where Yasmine was running down the beach and her...
RACH: Joey, I think we got the point.
JOEY: (Smiles) I know I did.
ROSS: Maybe they're at Central Perk.
JOEY: Do you guys mind checking it out for yourselves? I gotta go watch Baywatch.
RACH/ROSS: Sure.
PHOE: (Standing by the window.) Ooo. Ooo! Ugly-naked guy is using a sander.
(Joey, Rachel and Ross look out the window.)
PHOE/JOEY/RACH/ROSS: (Disgusted looks on their faces) Ewwwww!
(Scene: The Roof. It's now nightfall. Chandler and Monica are sitting down looking at the stars.)
CHAN: Have you ever wondered if there really was intelligent life out there?
MNCA: Sometimes, I wonder if there was intelligent life in there. (Points at Chandler's head.)
CHAN: (Smiles) Good one.
(They continue looking at the stars. Monica shivers slightly.)
CHAN: Oh, you're shivering.
MNCA: I'll be alright.
CHAN: (Takes off his jacket. Puts it around Monica.) Here take my jacket.
MNCA: Won't you freeze?
CHAN: Better you than me. At least YOU have a chance.
MNCA: What are you talking about?
CHAN: Oh nothing.
(Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Ross, Rachel and Phoebe are there. Gunther approaches them. GNTR)
GNTR: Sorry guys but you'll have to leave. We're closing up.
ROSS: Can we stay a little longer?
GNTR: I'm sorry.
RACH: Can't we stay for a bit longer? (shows him with her fingers.)
GNTR: Alright, anything for you honey. (Walks back behind counter.)
(Rachel makes a 'whatever' face.)
JOEY: Ross, can't we go home? It's obvious that Chandler took Monica to a strip joint.
RACH: What makes you say that?
JOEY: Well, whenever i'm upset, Chandler takes me there.
ROSS: Why would Chandler take Monica to a strip joint?
JOEY: Huh? (thinks a while) Oh yeah!
ROSS: (Smiles. When Joey isn't looking shakes his head back and forth.)
PHOE: Maybe they are home already.
RACH: Yeah, I mean we've been here for hours, chances are they're home already.
ROSS: I suppose you're right. Come on let's go.
(Everyone gets up to leave. Rachel is the last to exit.)
RACH: Bye Gunther. See you tomorrow!
GNTR: Count out it.
(Rachel gets freaks out and exits.)
(Scene: The Roof. It's morning. Chandler and Monica are cuddled with the jacket around them both. Monica is asleep. Chandler is stroking her hair. Monica wakes up and as an instinct she kisses him. Eyes are still half shut.)
MNCA: Hmm.. Morning.
CHAN: (Half sarcastically) Morning, Honey!
MNCA: (Opens her eyes) Chandler? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you.
CHAN: I'm not. (Stare at each other. They are moving in closer to kiss. The door to the roof suddenly opens. It's Mr. Treeger. (TREE))
TREE: What are you two doing here?
MNCA: We were locked up here.
CHAN: All night!
TREE: Didn't you see the sign?
MNCA/CHAN: WHAT SIGN?
TREE: The one on the inside of this door. (Looks at door finding no sign.) Oops, I guess I forgot to make one. You two should get going.
(Monica and Chandler quickly oblige and head downstairs.)
(Scene: Monica and Rachel's Apartment. Ross walks in Phoebe, Joey and Rachel are eating breakfast in a CLEAN apartment.)
ROSS: Is Monica here?
RACH: Nope. She never came home yesterday.
ROSS: (To Joey) Didn't Chandler find her?
JOEY: I don't know. He never got home either.
PHOE: Hey Ross! Do you think Chandler and Monica did the "wild thing"?
ROSS: (Sickened look on his face.) Now I do!
JOEY: (Smiling, bobbing head appreciatively.) Alright Chandler! (Ross gives him the look.) Not that it's a good thing.
(Chandler and Monica walk in.)
RACH: Hey you two! Did you have fun?
JOEY: Chandler! (Gives him the thumbs up.)
PHOE: (Humming "Here comes the bride") Dum, dum, dum, dum...
ROSS: (Notices that they are wearing the same clothes as yesterday.) W..Why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?
CHAN: It's not what you think!
MNCA: In fact it's a funny story. (Tries to laugh but can't)
CHAN: You see Mon and I got stuck on the roof...
MNCA: After our little argument...(motioning Rachel)
CHAN: And the door locked behind us...
MNCA: And that's all.
JOEY: (Smiling) So what hotel did you go to?
RACH: (Smiling) You guys can tell us.
PHOE: (Still humming.) ...dum, dum, dum, dum...
ROSS: (To Chandler) I'm going to kill you!
(Chandler runs into his apartment and Ross chases him.)
MNCA: I'm going to sleep in my bed because gravel is so uncomfortable.
JOEY: I'll say. (To Rachel and Phoebe) I once scraped my knees doing it on gravel.
(Monica stares at the three in unbelief and enters her bedroom.)
MNCA: (Out of screen) AAAHHHHHHHH!!! Rachel, what did you do to my bed???
CLOSING CREDITS.
(Scene: Monica and Rachel's Apartment. Joey and Rachel are calling hotels in New York to see where Chandler and Monica spent the night.)
RACH: Hello? Hi, I was wondering if a Monica Geller checked into your hotel yesterday.... No? Ok, how about a Chandler Bing? No, this isn't a crank call... No? (Joey is tapping Rachel on the shoulder.) Can you hold for a sec... Yes Joey?
JOEY: Ask them if a Chinandolor Bong checked in?
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