NOTE: Monica and Chandler haven't seen each other in five years. Chandler has kept close contact with the rest of the gang, as has Mon. Chandler got a job opportunity in Canada and asked Mon to go with him. Mon says no, because she just got a job at a famous restaurant. They got into a fight, and ended up refusing to speak to the other. Chandler left, but never said good-bye to Mon and they never forgot the other. In the five years since they separated, neither has dated.
Chandler's made many friends in Canada, but the only one that I'm going to talk about in this fanfic, is his friend Kelly. As you will later see, she plays an important role.
"Chandler!" Kelly screamed at him, but Chandler was oblivious to her voice, the wind rushing by his face as he sped down the hill on his snowboard. "Watch out!" Chandler realized seconds to late what the problem was, he was heading for a tree.
Milliseconds later the crash happened, and Chandler only saw stars. He could dimly hear Kelly's frantic voice among others heading his way, but the next thing he saw and heard was total blackness and silence.
Waking up, Chandler found himself lying on a hospital bed, both legs in casts. Kelly was sitting in a chair by his bed, fast asleep. Glancing out a window, Chandler realized that it must be about midnight. He went to stretch, and immediately groaned, feeling every muscle in him scream out in pain. He then remembered the crash, and looking down realized just how badly he hurt himself.
"Whaa?" Kelly woke up with a start hearing Chandler. "Oh, you're awake. Thank god."
"How long till the casts come off?" Chandler asked, dreading the answer. "Please say soon."
"Sorry," Kelly shook her head. "You're going to be sitting in a bed for at least the next six to eight weeks. And even after that, you're not going to be able to walk much."
"Oh great," Chandler muttered. "How am I suppose to do anything? I mean, I can work from my bed, but cook, clean, do normal things necessary for survival?"
"Well, I'll help as much as possible, but I've got to work," Kelly replied. "It's too bad that Sam and Josie decided to go backpacking right now. Is there anyone you can phone and get to come stay for a while?"
"Um," Chandler thought about it. Wait a minute, Ross. He had just finished going through his forth divorce. He's probably dying for a vacation. "Yeah, I'll phone Ross. I've told you about him. He's the guy who was my collage roommate."
"Right, the one who's sister you use to date," Kelly nodded. "You know, you never did finish telling the story of why you broke up."
"Okay, where's a phone," Chandler ignored her comment. He didn't feel like finishing, not now, not ever.
"Right by your bed," Kelly pointed to the phone. Chandler chuckled sheepishly, having not noticed it before.
He picked up the phone and asked for the operator. He quickly asked for Ross Geller of New York's phone number. Grabbing a pen, he jotted it down and thanked the operator. Hanging up, he picked up the phone again and dialled the number.
"Hello?" A sleepy voice asked.
"Oh Ross, I didn't remember that it would be so late," Chandler apologized. "I'm sorry."
"Chandler?" Ross questioned. "Is that you Chandler?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of desperate right now," Chandler told him. "I need to know if you could come out and visit for a couple of weeks."
"Why?" Ross asked. "Is something wrong?"
"Actually, yeah," Chandler replied. "I'm in the hospital."
"Oh my god, what for?" Ross asked, panicked. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Chandler reassured him. "I had a little accident," Kelly pinched him, "Okay a big accident when snowboarding. I kind of broke both my legs."
"Oh my god!" Ross said shocked. "How, when?"
"I ran into a tree yesterday. Anyway, I was wondering if you would mind coming out and keeping me company as well as helping out for a couple weeks. I'd do it myself, but I wont' be able to walk for a few weeks, actually, make that six to eight weeks, maybe more."
"Of course I'll come," Ross reassured him. "I'll hop on the next plane."
"Great," Chandler smiled. "I'll have my friend leave a key to my apartment at the airport." Chandler quickly said good bye and hung up the phone. He turned to Kelly, a smile spreading across his face.
"Oh great, what are you planning on doing now?" Kelly groaned. "Please say it's not something bad."
"Bad?" Chandler pretended to be shocked. "Of course not. No, I was just thinking. Remember I told you all about Ross and Rachel?"
"Of course, how could I forget?" Kelly laughed. "They belong together."
"Exactly," Chandler nodded. "That's what we all think anyway. I'm going to invite Rachel out as well. She and Ross haven't talked since he married that last person. I think it's about time they have some help."
Groaning, Kelly shook her head but couldn't help smiling. If things were like Chandler told her, this could actually help.
After hanging up with Chandler, Ross sat down in one of his chairs to think. This was perfect. He knew exactly what he was going to do. Jumping up, he dialled Monica's number. Waiting a couple of rings, she finally answered.
"Okay, whoever's calling better have a good reason or I'm going to kill them," Monica threatened into the phone.
"Hey Mon," Ross greeted his sister cheerfully. "How would you like to go to Calgary for a couple of weeks?"
"Isn't that in Canada?" Mon asked, waking up slightly. "Why are you going there?"
"A friend asked me to come out for a couple weeks. How would you like to join me?" Ross crossed his fingers hopefully. She had to agree.
"I don't know Ross," Mon complained. "This is such short notice. I mean to get packed..."
"Oh come on Mon," Ross grinned. "You can do all that quickly. Look, I'll book the tickets, you just get your self packed and ready to leave by breakfast."
Entering the Calgary International Airport, Ross and Monica looked around. They'd never been to Canada before and they'd never seen so much snow! After they gathered their luggage and made it through customs, Ross went to the service counter and got the key that Chandler had Kelly leave for him. After that, Ross and Monica went and rented a small car.
Looking on a map, Monica quickly directed Ross to the small apartment that his 'friend' owned. When they arrived they hurried up the stairs and dropped their luggage inside the front door. Before Mon had a chance to glance around, Ross hurried her out so that she wouldn't notice who the apartment belonged to.
Getting back into the car, Ross pulled out directions to Foothills hospital, where Chandler had told him he was staying. Without telling Monica where they were going Ross headed towards the hospital. When they pulled into the parking lot, Monica turned to Ross and gave him a weird look, but didn't ask.
Entering the lobby, Monica headed over to the desk, but stopped when she saw that Ross seemed to know where he was going. He kept glancing at a piece of paper in his hand.
They rode the elevator up to the fourth floor quietly. Monica kept throwing questioning glances over to Ross, but he ignored them and just looked in a different direction.
Exiting the elevator, Monica followed Ross as he headed down the hall. About halfway down the hall, Ross stopped in front of one of the doors. Listening, Mon was surprised to hear Rachel's voice. Apparently Ross was too, she noted as he stopped dead in his tracks.
After a moment though, he pulled himself together and opened the door. He walked into the room, stopping short as Rachel glanced up from the chair by the bed. Ross and Rachel's eyes met and held. They only broke apart when they heard Mon gasp.
"Oh my god," Monica whispered, staring at Chandler who was lying on the bed. He too, was looking at her in shock. After staring for a moment, they both turned to Ross who looked at them and shrugged.
"Chandler," Mon muttered angrily, turning on her heel, she marched out of the room. Ross quickly followed her, and grabbed her arm.
"Mon, please," Ross begged. "You've got to talk to him. It's been what, four years?"
"Five," Rachel shook her head, stepping into the hallway and joining them. She pulled the door closed behind her. "Hey Mon, long time no see."
"Same here," Mon laughed slightly, and pulled her friend into a hug.
"Hello Ross," Rachel said, almost shyly. She didn't know what to and stood there until Ross pulled her into a hug.
"Hey Rach, I've missed you," Ross whispered.
"Me too," Rachel nodded. "Me too."
If there was one thing she could give Chandler credit for, Mon decided, was bringing Ross and Rachel together. It looked like none of the feelings had disappeared. Seeing that they were busy, Monica quickly turned to leave.
"No," Rachel stopped her this time. "Mon, you have got to talk to him. You both need to straighten out whatever happened. Please Mon, just give him a few minutes."
Monica looked at them both, who were pleading with their eyes. Sighing she nodded. "Fine, I'll talk to him, but, BUT you've both got to make yourselves scarce. Go do something, I don't care what, but you can't be near the room for the next ten minutes at least."
"Okay," Ross nodded. "Come on Rach, let's go get something to eat or something."
Watching them leave, Mon sighed again and turned back to the door. Opening it, she entered the room and closed it behind her.
Chandler was still lying on the bed, but the TV was now on and Chandler didn't even turn when she entered the room. He just continued to watch. Mon stood there for a minute, then reaching up, she turned off the TV.
"Hey!" Chandler complained. "I was watching that."
"We need to talk," Monica replied stiffly. Chandler hesitated, then nodded his agreement.
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" Chandler leaned back against his pillows, groaning slightly.
"Well, I'll ask the most obvious question first," Monica paused. "What happened?"
"Ross didn't tell you?" Chandler looked shocked. When Monica shook her head, he continued. "Well, you see I was snowboarding with Kelly and I didn't see the tree until I ran into it. I must of hit it incredibly hard cos I blacked out and when I woke up I was here and I now have two broken legs."
"Well, that explains why Ross seemed to be in a hurry to get here," Monica nodded. "Okay, but what we really need to talk about is what happened." She paused. "I've missed you Chandler."
"I've missed you too," Chandler, paused, then added. "Though, having Kelly has helped."
"Oh, is she your, she your girlfriend?" Monica tried to ask calmly. Chandler watched her carefully, enjoying the reaction he was getting. Monica had made him feel pain when he had to choose, now it was her turn.
"Yeah," Chandler smiled. "Two years now."
"Wow," Monica didn't know what to say. "I guess then there really isn't anything to talk about."
"No, I guess not," Chandler started to feel bad. He didn't think he'd hurt Mon that much. "So, how you've been?"
Monica debated saying that she had a boyfriend, but decided that it would be easier to just tell the truth. "Great. I've been having a lot of fun at work. We've started to do themes some evenings, and at halloween run a mystery theatre."
"That's good," Chandler nodded. The door opened, and they glanced over to it.
"Are we interrupting anything?" Rachel asked, sticking her head around the door.
"Nope," Chandler waved her in. Ross followed behind.
"So, is everything okay?" Rachel asked, as she walked into the room.
"Yeah," Chandler replied, Monica nodded slightly. "Yeah," Chandler said again, less assured.
"Hey Mon," Rachel turned to her friend. "Would you come with me to get a drink?"
"What?" Mon asked. "Oh, sure." Mon and Rachel quickly left the room.
"So how are things really?" Rachel asked, as soon as they had moved down the hall.
"Oh god," Mon shook her head. "Was it that obvious?"
"Only to me," Rachel reassured her friend. "What happened?"
"Nothing much," Monica shrugged and said sarcastically. "Only that he's been dating for two years now. Two years!"
"Oh Mon," Rachel gave her friend a hug. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's not your fault," Monica said, hiding how much she really hurt. "I mean, I couldn't expect him to be as, 'committed' as I've been. So how are things with Ross?"
"Oh, it feels just like old times," Rachel smiled. "He's just as great as I remember."
"Watch out," Monica warned Rachel. "Remember what happened last time?"
"Yeah, but that was years ago," Rachel brushed it off. "It could be different. Besides, neither of us want a major relationship right now. I'm just not ready and he just got divorced. Come on, they're probably wondering where we are."
A couple hours later the three arrived back at Chandler's apartment. Ross noticed for the first time Rachel's luggage lying in the corner by the door. He picked his own up and headed into the spare room.
Monica, stepping into the apartment looked around slowly, trying to take everything in. To learn what Chandler had been doing in the last five years. Walking forward, she smiled slightly, noticing the small mess that seemed consistent.
She watched as Rachel walked into the kitchen. Seeing that no one was around, she let herself go into Chandler's bedroom. There were clothes everywhere, some on the ground, in a basket and on the bed. His desk and walls were covered with pictures. Looking closely, Monica realized that all the pictures were of his friends. Of Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and even herself. It took her a moment to realize that most of the pictures were of her. Her face, five years ago, smiled at her from the dresser by his bed. That and another face. One she didn't recognize.
Leaning closer Monica realized who it must be. His girlfriend, Kelly. She felt a pain of jealously run threw her, Kelly was beautiful. The kind of girl every guy wants. The kind of girl she's never felt she's been or could be.
Chandler watched Monica, Ross and Rachel and waved good bye sadly. The days seemed so long with no one to talk to but the nurses. He turned the TV back on, but couldn't concentrate. Instead, he just kept hearing his voice lying and saying that Kelly is his girlfriend. He felt bad, and wanted to take it back... or did he?
Making up him mind quickly, he reached for the phone beside his bed and quickly dialled a number.
"Hello?" A voice asked, picking up the other end.
"Hey Kelly," Chandler said. "I need to ask a big favour of you."
"Okay," Kelly said slowly. "What is it?"
"I need you to pose as my girlfriend," Chandler crossed his fingers. "Please."
"What's this for?" Kelly asked confused. "Why do you need me to act as your girlfriend?"
"Cos, there's this person," Chandler started, knowing he was sounding lame. "And well, to make a long story short, I kind of told her I've had a girlfriend named Kelly for two years. And this person's going to be around for a couple of weeks and it would be weird if I never got a phone call from my 'girlfriend' or she never came to visit."
"Well," Kelly said slowly. "What would I have to do?"
"Just pretend that we've been dating. It shouldn't be that hard, we do know each other pretty well."
"I suppose I could," Kelly said reluctantly. "When do I meet this 'person'."
"Tomorrow," Chandler said gratefully. "Thanks so much Kelly. Just come by tomorrow morning before work."
"Okay Chandler, see you then," Kelly shook her head. "I hope this works."
"Me too," Chandler sighed. "Me too."
The next morning Ross, Rachel and Monica got up early and had breakfast. Ross then drove the three to the hospital to visit Chandler. Walking down the hall, they paused in front of his door, hearing a female inside.
Monica felt her heart break as they opened the door and walked in. Chandler was lying in bed with the girl from the photograph sitting in the chair beside him holding his hand.
"Hey Ross, Rachel, Monica," Chandler greeted them. "This is my girlfriend Kelly."
Kelly froze as Chandler said their names. Monica? Wait a minute, wasn't Monica the one... "Chandler," she hissed, "you didn't say that the 'person' was Monica."
"Yeah, so?" Chandler pretended to be indifferent, but Kelly could see through that. She stood up anyway, and introduced herself.
"Nice to meet you guys," Kelly walked towards them and stuck out her hand. "I've heard a lot about all three of you." Kelly felt her heart break as she looked into Monica eyes. Monica was trying hard to keep back tears, and for the most part succeeding.
"Nice to meet you, too," Monica shook her hand, trying desperately not to let Chandler realize just how much this hurt.
"Chandler's said lots about you, too," Ross shook her hand, distracting Kelly from Monica.
"Um, excuse me," Monica rushed out of the room. Rachel quickly hurried after her.
Kelly turned back to Chandler, and almost strangled him when she saw that he was smiling happily. Glancing over at Ross, she saw him staring after Rachel and Monica.
A while later, Ross, Rachel and Monica decided it was time to go. Kelly had stayed and the whole room was tense, Monica refusing to say anything to Kelly. Or Chandler for that matter.
Kelly turned to Chandler as the door clicked behind them. "I can't believe you're doing this."
"Doing what?" Chandler replied innocently. "I'm not doing anything."
"Chandler!" Kelly almost screamed frustrated. "Did you even LOOK at Monica today? You could see the tears in her eyes. She is so in love with you still. She probably goes home every day and wishes the two of you had parted on better terms. Do you realize just how hard it must be for her to come see you?"
"Hey," Chandler said defensively. "That's not true. She looked fine to me."
"Oh come on," Kelly hit him lightly on the arm. "I saw how you were gloating after you introduced us. You looked like the cat that had finally caught the mouse."
"Yeah well," Chandler shrugged. "I've told you what she did to me!"
"Did to you!? That's a laugh," Kelly chuckled. "She got a great job opportunity and took it. You then got a great opportunity and expected her to give up her's to come with you. You're the one that's selfish and greedy here."
Finally a week later, Chandler was allowed to go home. Ross picked him up at the hospital with Rachel to take him home.
"Where's Monica?" Chandler questioned. He'd been looking forward to seeing her.
"Oh, um," Ross didn't know what to say.
"She's busy," Rachel filled in feebly. "She went shopping or something, you'll see her later."
"Oh, okay," Chandler hid his disappointment. "Kelly said she'd come over later tonight."
"Great," Ross tried to sound enthusiastic. He didn't like what Chandler was doing to his sister. He was quite sure that Chandler must be lying about Kelly, cos they talked quite frequently and Chandler had never mentioned a girlfriend. Ross never brought it up with Chandler now, sure that Chandler would be defensive. He figured that Chandler would tell Monica when he was ready. Besides, if Monica want's revenge, its her job, not his to do it.
He helped Chandler into the car and loaded the wheel chair in the back. Climbing in with Rachel, he started up the car and headed to Chandler's apartment.
That evening they, with Kelly, had dinner in Chandler's room. Monica had been upset, and as an excuse to not spend time with Chandler, she spent time in the kitchen and cooked.
Gathered in Chandlers room, they shared stories and memories. Kelly told them about things Chandler had done, like practical jokes at his office. The others replied by tell her about the crazy things Chandler had done before he'd moved out there.
During the next week Monica found herself in charge of taking care of Chandler. It wasn't her fault, and she certainly hadn't asked for the job. Kelly was busy at work and Ross and Rachel had started to date, but not date and spent all their time together.
She was listening to the radio when an old song come on. Well, it wasn't that old, only about five years. The time that everything had happened. It was a song she'd listened to many times and new the words of. It had described her feelings perfectly then, and it was describing them once again.
Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain
And feelings of aggression are the absence of the love drug in your veins
In your veins
Love come quickly
Because I feel my self-esteem is caving in
It's on the brink
Love come quickly
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in
It's in my skin
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen
Love I beg you
Lift me up into that privileged point of view
The world of two
Love don't leave me
Because I console myself that Hallmark cards are true
I really do
I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy
Love don't leave me
Take these broken wings
I'm going to take these broken wings
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
And learn to fly away
I'm gunning down romance
(Gunning Down Romance By Savage Garden)
Listening to the song on the radio, she smiled sadly and glanced over at Chandler. He had fallen asleep. Reaching out she brushed a lock of hair out of his face lovingly. "I love you Chandler!" Hearing a noise she glanced up. Kelly was standing in the doorway.
"Hello Monica," Kelly pretended not to have noticed what Monica had been doing and saying. "How's he doing today?"
"Good, I think he got some work done, but I'm not sure," Mon laughed. "I went into the kitchen to cook and left him with his laptop. When I came back he was playing a game."
"Sounds like him," Kelly nodded. "Well, why don't we leave him for a while. Looks like he's exhausted. Want to watch a movie or something?"
The next day Kelly stopped by in the morning to talk to Chandler. She needed to do something before she started to hate herself.
"Chandler," Kelly sat on the edge of his bed.
"What?" Chandler glanced up from the video game he was playing.
"We need to talk," Kelly turned of the tv. "About Monica."
"What about her?" Chandler turned to look at her.
"You need to tell her," Kelly watched as a confused look passed over his face. "You need to tell her we're not dating. If you don't tell her by the time I come back, I'm going to tell her. She loves you Chandler. More then you could ever believe."
"Fine, I'll tell her," Chandler relented. When Kelly jumped up to leave Chandler stopped her. "I'll try to tell her. But I can't promise anything. You've got to give me more than today."
"Nope, sorry Chandler," Kelly shook her head. "You've got today and that's it." Kelly left the room quickly before Chandler could argue.
When Kelly came back later that night she couldn't say that she was surprised that Chandler hadn't told Monica. In fact, she didn't think he would. She pulled Monica to the side. "Mon, can I talk with you for a minute?"
"Um, sure I guess," Monica replied, not really wanting to spend time with Chandler's 'girlfriend'.
"Great," Kelly led Monica into the guest room where Ross had been sleeping. "Mon, I need to tell you something. But I want you to promise not to interrupt."
"Okay," Monica looked at her strangely. What was going on?
"Mon, I'm not Chandler's girlfriend," Monica opened her mouth, but stopped. "Let me explain. When Chandler moved out here he was very depressed. Myself and two others were the only one's who talked to him and he eventually told us everything that had happened. Of course in his version everything was more your fault then his. Anyway, after the first year, he started to get over it, not much but he became happier. He didn't date though. We tried to convince him too, cos as you've noticed he's cute and a lot of girls would be very willing. He just kept brushing that off and changing the subject when dating came up. After a while Sam, Josie and I became good friends with him. Josie and Sam are in Europe backpacking that's why you haven't met them. He's never forgotten you Mon. It's hard to have a conversation with him still without; well Monica said... or Monica did that. When you came out he didn't want to look like a loser and said that he had a girlfriend. I think he also did this because he still feels hurt and wanted to do something to hurt you. I only agreed to this because he never told me who the person he was doing this to. I'd never have done this purposely to you. I realize you're going to be upset, but just remember, Chandler does love you."
"Oh my gosh," Monica sat down on the bed, trying to comprehend everything that was going on. "I don't know what to say. I mean this is big. I can't believe he'd do that/this. I've got to talk to him."
"Okay, but be easy on him, please?" Kelly asked as Monica got up and walked out of the room in a daze.
Entering Chandler's room, Chandler glanced over at Monica. Seeing the look on her face he realized what must of just happened. "What's up Monica?" he tried to act normal.
"Why didn't you tell me Chandler?" Monica questioned. "Why? You never wrote or anything and I never knew where you were to write."
"You could have gotten the address from the others," Chandler said defensively.
"They said they didn't know where you were," Mon shook her head. "But why Chandler? Why the pretend girlfriend? Why did you want to hurt me?"
"I never wanted to hurt you," Chandler argued weakly. "I just wanted to ... I don't know. I guess it was to 'hurt' you. I had Kelly pose because I didn't want you to think that I couldn't get another girl. I had no idea if you were dating. So I figured I better say I was."
"I'd never think that you couldn't get someone else. I mean, I think you're cute so I'm pretty sure that others do as well." Monica argued back. "Besides, I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not ashamed of it. There are millions of people with out boyfriends or girlfriends who aren't ashamed. There's nothing wrong with it."
"I know that," Chandler sighed. How could he explain this. "It's just that, I like you Mon. I like you a lot and I've never recovered from our fight. I came out here and I was depressed. I buried myself in work, and then when I met Kelly, Josie and Sam, I buried myself in my friends. Every thanksgiving I'd sit alone and wonder what you were doing. What you were thinking, and I'd be wishing you were around to listen to me tell my story of my parents dropping the bomb at the table and to make me Maccaroni and Cheese. I'd pick up the phone to call Ross and ask for your number, but then I'd remember our fight and I'd put the phone down and just sit."
"I don't know what to say Chandler," Monica paused. "I like you a lot to, in fact I think I might still love you. But I don't think I could be with you, not after you did this. It hurts to much Chandler, I'm sorry things had to happen like this." Not wanting him to see her tears Monica turned and ran out of the room, and then out of the apartment.
"Hey not fair," Chandler shouted after her. "You know I can't chase you."
Out in the living room, Kelly, Ross and Rachel watched Mon run off then turned and looked at each other. After a moment they all jumped up and ran into Chandler's room.
"What happened?" Ross demanded. "Why did Monica run out in tears? What did you do Chandler?"
"I didn't do anything," Chandler defended himself. "We were just talking."
"About what?" Rachel asked. She was almost afraid to hear the answer.
"About Kelly and how she's not my girlfriend," Chandler sighed. He was partially shocked to see that Ross and Rachel didn't look surprised.
"I figured that," Ross admitted. "I was pretty sure if you had been dating for two years I would have noticed that. I mean, you always bragged when you were dating someone."
"Yeah," Rachel nodded. "I can understand why Mon's upset though. I mean, she's never dated since you. You broke her heart when you left."
"Yeah, well she broke my heart too," Chandler sighed. "Well, that was a conversation that we really needed to have. Maybe when she comes back later, we can talk a bit more rationally."
Walking down the street Monica thought back to the day Chandler and her had their big fight. It was five years ago and she'd just arrived home from her first day at her new job. Entering their apartment, she found him sitting on the couch, staring at the tv.
"Is something wrong Chandler?" Monica walked over and sat beside him on the couch. Chandler didn't reply, just sat there, staring at the tv. "Chandler, what's wrong? What happened?"
"I got a promotion," Chandler said softly and Monica almost didn't hear him.
"That's great," Monica hugged him. When he didn't hug back, she pulled away. "Isn't it?"
"I don't know," Chandler sighed. "The promotion, it's, it's in Canada."
Monica leaned back against the couch, shocked. Canada. That seemed so far away, a whole other country. "Are you, are you going to take it?" Monica questioned, afraid to hear the answer.
"I don't know," Chandler shook his head. "I should, it's the perfect opportunity, but that means I've got to leave." He paused. "You could come with me!"
"Chandler," Monica looked down. "You know I can't. I just got this job, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"I know," Chandler sighed. "And this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know what to do Mon. I don't want to leave you, but I can't pass this up."
"Then go," Monica looked away. She didn't want him to leave. She needed him. "I'll be fine."
"Now I'm feeling guilty," Chandler said. "And I shouldn't, I know. I have every right to do stuff for my career, and if you came with me, then you'd have to leave your job and that's just selfish of me. I don't know what to do."
"Then don't go," Monica didn't know what to say. "Stay here with me, it's not like you don't have a job."
"You don't understand Mon," Chandler shook his head. "I've waited forever for an opportunity like this. I can't just pass it up. I can't just make this decision quickly."
"Well it sounds to me like you've already decided," Monica said coldly. "Have fun. I've heard Canada is a great place."
"Monica," Chandler leaned over to hug her but she backed away. He moved closer and she stood up. "Mon, please."
"I'm sorry Chandler, I can't," Monica paused as the tears started down her face. "I can't stay here tonight. I thought you loved me, but I guess I'm wrong."
"I do love you Monica. I've never loved anyone like I've loved you. Not Kathy, or Janice," Chandler stood up as well, tears starting down his face. "I don't want to leave you. I just can't pass this up. It's big Mon. I get to design a program with others to do the WENUS and ANUS."
"No Chandler," Monica shook her head. "You don't love me. If you did like you said, then you wouldn't leave. You'd think of something we could do."
"I have been thinking," Chandler paused. "I just can't think of anything. I mean, we could have a long distance relationship, but one of us will cave."
"I wouldn't," Monica replied. "Maybe you would, but I wouldn't. Oh my gosh! Is that what this is about? Are you dating someone else?"
"What?" Chandler shouted. "I can't believe you would accuse me of that. I'd never do that. You know that. I'm not Joey, or, or, Ross. I've got a job offer. That's what this is about."
"Oh right," Monica said sarcastically. "It's all about you."
"Please Mon," Chandler didn't know what to do. All he knew was that this was hurting. And it was a hurting a lot.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Monica replied. "Am I hurting you? That's right, this isn't your fault. It's all mine. I guess I've just pulled a Monica. You know what Chandler? I don't think I want to see you again before you leave. I'll just go somewhere else. Bye."
With that Monica walked out of the room and out of his life.
Or at least she tried to. If I was out of his life, then I certainly wouldn't be here, in Calgary, right now, Monica muttered to herself. She looked up to see where she was. She didn't recognize the street, but didn't expect to. In front of her was a café. A cyber café according to the sign.
Entering the café, she sat down at one of the computers and with the help of a nearby attendant, got logged on and onto the internet. After surfing around for a while and not finding anything of interest, she found herself in a chat room with people around the world.
"Hi," one person told her as she sat there, unsure of what to do. She'd heard a lot about chat rooms, but had never been in one.
"Hi," she replied, happy to start having a conversation.
"What's up?" the person asked again.
"Not much, everything seems to be down actually," Monica answered. "So it's just normal, I guess."
"LOL," the person said. "Same here. Love trouble all the time."
"Same," Monica paused. Then, feeling stupid she asked. "What's LOL?"
"Oh, this your first time?" the person apologized. "It means Laughing Out Loud. Internet language. Sorry, I do that often."
"That's okay," Monica smiled to herself. Man, people were wrong. People in chat rooms are nice.
"So, A/S/L? That's Age/Gender/Location," the person added.
"35/Female/Calgary Canada," Monica answered. "Oh, but I don't live in Calgary, I'm just visiting, a... friend. What about you? A/S/L?"
"17/F/Newmarket Canada. It's in Ontario," the girl replied. "What's your name? Or do you just want to go by Chef101?"
"My name's Monica, what about you?" Monica questioned. Info for info.
"Joey," the girl typed. "Well actually, that's my middle name, but that's what my friends call me. I prefer it."
"I've got a friend named Joey," Monica typed with a smile. "Actually, you've probably heard of him. He's pretty famous now. Joey Tribianni."
"Oh My GOSH!" Joey replied. "You know Joey Tribianni?"
"Yeah," Monica laughed to herself. "He used to live across from me. We were really good friends... So what kind of love trouble are you having?"
"Oh, just that all my friends seem to have boy friends and I don't," Joey answered. "It's not that big of a deal I guess. I just feel kind of left out."
"I was like that too when I was your age," Monica nodded. "Don't worry, boyfriends in highschool don't normally last. Besides, you'll meet someone someday."
"I hope so," Joey answered wistfully. "What about you, what kind of problems are you having?"
"Well," Monica started. "It's a long story actually. Date's back five years ago."
"Wow," Joey said. "Well, I'm sick at home right now. Why don't you tell me? I've got all day."
"If you're sure," Monica smiled. "Stop me when ever. It started five years ago almost to the day when I came home from work. My boyfriend at the time, Chandler, was sitting on the couch in our apartment..."
When Ross and Rachel went into say goodnight to Chandler, they found him sitting in bed nervously playing with a pack of cards.
"What's up?" Ross asked him. He sat down with Rachel in the two chairs occupying part of the room. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't know," Chandler shook his head. "No, I do know. Something's got to be wrong. Where's Monica? How come she's not back yet? What if she's hurt?"
"Well, she probably is hurt," Rachel said. Then seeing the panicked look on Chandler's face added. "But not the way you think. She's probably hurt because of what you said/did."
"Oh, right," Chandler relaxed a bit. "But where is she? How come she hasn't come back yet? She doesn't know the city, she could be lost."
"She'd ask for directions," Ross reassured him. "Besides, she knows the phone number."
"Why are you so worried anyway?" Rachel asked. "Does it really matter where she is?"
"I'm just sorry about what I've done," Chandler replied. He also added softly, so they couldn't hear him. "And I think I still love her."
"What?" Ross asked. "What did you say? We couldn't hear you?"
"Nothing," Chandler said quickly. "It doesn't matter."
"Okay," they gave him a weird look. Rachel leaned over and kissed his cheek and the two headed for the door.
"Good night," Chandler called after them. Leaning back in his bed he stared at his casts and wished that the tree hadn't been in his way.
Monica didn't come home that night and the next morning even Rachel and Ross had to admit they were worried. They sat with Chandler, listening as he freaked out.
"This is all my fault," Chandler moaned. "What if she's seriously hurt. They wouldn't know to phone here."
"I'm sure she's fine," Ross placed an hand on his arm. "Calm down."
"Yeah," Rachel nodded. "She probably just hooked up with," seeing the look of pain cross Chandler's face she stopped. "Hooked up with some people and spent the night at clubs. Doesn't Calgary have a good night scene?"
Chandler was about to answer when they heard the front door open. From in the bed room they couldn't see who it was, but didn't move when the footsteps headed their way.
"Hey guys," Monica walked into the room. She looked happier then when she left and the others looked at her in shock.
"Where were you?" Chandler demanded.
"Just... somewhere," Monica brushed the question off. She didn't really feel like telling him that she spent the night chatting with a seventeen year old over the internet about her love problems. Besides, she know knew what to do. She'd wait and see what happens. If he still loved her like she him, then he would forgive and forget all that happens. She'd decided then when in comes down to it, she could forgive and forget as well. But it was up to Chandler to make the first move.
"Where?" Chandler asked again. "We were so worried. What if you'd gotten hurt? Couldn't you have at least called?"
"Why does it matter to you?" Monica asked. "I'm a big girl. I can do what I want."
A few days later Ross and Rachel both announced that they had to go home.
"We've both got our jobs," Ross told Chandler and Monica. "Neither of us can afford to miss more work."
"We're sorry Chandler," Rachel told him regretfully. "We'd like to stay longer, but both of us really like our jobs."
"What about you Mon," Chandler turned to Monica. "Are you leaving too?"
"No," Monica shook her head. "You need someone to be with you until you get the casts off. I can stay for another couple of weeks."
"What about you're job?" Chandler asked confused. "Don't you need to work?"
"Oh, I can work from here, if you'll let me borrow your computer," Monica shook her head. "I own my own restaurant. I cook sometimes, but the business aspect takes up a lot of time."
"Oh, congratulations," Chandler congratulated her. "It's what you've always wanted. Ross how come you never told me?"
"Because we never talked about Monica. You never wanted to," Ross replied.
"Right," Chandler laughed sheepishly.
"So what do you do now anyway?" Monica asked him. "Still typing in numbers?"
"Actually, no," Chandler shook his head. "I'm the 'boss' now. I supervise the whole company."
"Wow," Monica whistled, impressed. "You've certainly gotten far."
"Yeah," Chandler nodded. "All I need now is a ..."
"A what?" Rachel, Ross and Monica questioned.
"Nothing, never mind," Chandler blushed. "It's not important."
"Okay," Ross gave him a strange look. "Well, Rachel and I are going to be leaving tomorrow. I guess we'll see you, Mon, in a couple of weeks."
"Right," Monica smiled. "How are you two doing anyway?"
"We're good," Rachel turned to Ross and smiled. "Great. Who knows, maybe we'll actually be dating later."
"Right," Ross laughed. "Right now we're just friends and happy to be so."
A few weeks later Monica took Chandler back to the hospital for a check up. They were going to see if his casts could come off.
"Welcome back Chandler," the doctor greeted them. "How have you been doing?"
"Good," Chandler smiled. "Just can't wait to walk again."
"Right," the doctor smiled. "Let's see how those legs are doing."
Later the doctor came back to tell Chandler the news. "Looks like you've healed up quite well Chandler. But you're going to have to be careful for the next little while. No SNOWBOARDING!"
"Right," Chandler looked down at his legs, happy to see that they weren't covered in white any longer.
"Have you got someone to take you home?" the doctor questioned.
"Yep," Chandler looked over at the doorway. He could see Monica pacing outside. He smiled and caught her eye. Opening the door she came in.
"Hey Chandler," Monica gave him a hug. "Oh, you got them off!"
"Yep!" Chandler said happily. "I can walk again. Now you can really see Calgary."
The doctor smiled over at the two. As Chandler filled out some papers, the doctor walked over to him. "That's a beautiful girlfriend you've got. I wouldn't let her get away. You two are very cute together."
"Thanks," Chandler chuckled in his head. "I'll see you in a few weeks, right?"
Arriving home, Chandler and Monica discussed what to do for the next few days before Monica left. Chandler was all for showing her the city, but Monica just wanted to stay in the apartment.
"Fine," Chandler agreed after a short debate. "Why don't we go get a movie or two to watch and then come back here to watch it tonight. Tomorrow, we can go to the Calgary tower and Canada Olympic Park and tomorrow night stay at the apartment and do something."
"Sure," Monica smiled. This is what it should have been like. Both compromising with the other. "I'll go get my coat."
Walking outside, they headed down the street arms linked. Neither could tell the real reason for the link. Both would say it was because Monica was helping to support Chandler on his weak legs and the real reason was probably because they liked to be close to the other.
In the video store, both immediately went to different shelves. Monica checked out the romantic comedies and Chandler the action/adventure. Doing what had become a habit to them when they had been dating, Monica picked a movie and so did Chandler. Meeting up at the cash register, they grabbed some candy and popcorn for their evening.
Laughing and teasing the other about their choice, they headed out of the store and walked back towards his apartment. Joking and laughing, feeling like it was old times.
"Okay, which movie first?" Monica asked from where she was watching the bag of popcorn pop in the microwave.
"Yours first," Chandler said immediately. "Then we can get to the good stuff."
"Like what?" Monica walked into the room with the popcorn in a bowl. "People shooting each other?"
"Exactly," Chandler reached out and pulled Monica down beside him as she set the bowl on the table. Clicking the remote control, the watched as previews flashed across the scene.
An hour later they laughed together as the lead actor said another cheesy line. Leaning against Chandler, Monica finally felt like everything was alright. She was alone, with Chandler, the guy she loved. The only problem was did he love her back?
She'd spent the last couple weeks spending time with him, playing games, watching movies/tv and just talking. Every topic had come up, from favourite foods, to their jobs, and what it was like to live in Canada. They'd had so much to catch up on, and it still felt like they weren't quite there yet.
Chandler smiled to himself as he felt Monica lean against him. Trying to be inconspicious, he put his arm around her and pulled her closer. This felt right. Like everything was perfect, just as it had been five years ago. Turning back to the tv, he watched as the lead actor and actress kissed. He could understand their feelings. They'd supposedly been best friends for years until they moved apart. Now that they'd met up again, the old feelings were rising. Just like between himself and Monica.
Unable to hold himself any longer, he turned to Monica and kissed her. It was a kiss he'd been waiting for forever. Monica surprised, pulled away quickly.
"What was that about?" Monica asked breathlessly.
"Just wanted to know if the old feelings are still there," Chandler smiled at her.
"So, are they?" Monica asked, trying to not let herself admit that the kiss was good.
"I don't know," Chandler smiled, laughter twinkling in his eyes. He leaned towards Mon. "Let me try again."
Laughing, Monica let him pull herself into another kiss. This time though, Mon didn't pull away, instead, she kissed back.
"So, is it still there," Monica asked when they finally pulled away. She looked into his eyes and felt herself being pulled in, unable to break the gaze.
"I think so," Chandler replied, his voice serious. He was looking into her eyes and the two were so caught up with each other that they didn't hear Kelly banging on the door.
"Chandler? Monica?" Kelly shouted. Hearing no reply, she took out her key to the apartment and let herself in. Standing in the shadows she watched Monica and Chandler. After a minute, she decided to break the spell. She opened the door behind her and slammed it shut. Monica and Chandler jumped away from each other and turned towards her innocently.
"Chandler," Kelly said happily walking over to him. "You got your casts off."
"Yep!" Chandler grinned. "The first thing I did was have a shower."
The three of them laughed and Kelly walked over to the couch.
"So what are you watching?" Kelly looked at the tv. The credits for the movie were playing across the screen.
"We were watching The Curious Hearts," Monica replied. "I guess we're going to be watching, ugh, Chained."
"Oh, I heard about that," Kelly commented. "It's suppose to be really good." She paused. "Chandler? You were watching a romantic comedy?"
"Yeah," Chandler shrugged. "It something that I guess we do out of habit. When we were dating, when ever we got a movie, she picked out a romantic comedy cos they're her favourite and I'd pick out an action/adventure, my favourite. Otherwise we got into fights."
"Oh," Kelly laughed to herself. They were still so perfect for each other. "Can I watch?"
"Of course," Monica moved farther away from Chandler and let Kelly sit between them. Monica glanced over at Chandler who caught her eye. Pulling her eyes away, Mon looked over at Kelly, who was sitting there innocently.
Leaving Chandler's apartment later that night, Kelly walked home laughing to herself. Looked like they were finally seeing what the rest had already seen, they were meant for each other.
Arriving in her apartment she dug around her drawers until she found Ross's phone number. She knew he'd want to know what was going on.
"Hello?" Ross answered the phone.
"Hi Ross," Kelly told him. "It's Kelly,"
"Oh hey Kelly," Ross said cheerfully. "Is something wrong?"
"Wrong?" Kelly laughed. "No, not at all. Just thought I'd tell you the latest in the Chandler Monica romance."
"Something's finally happened?" Ross asked hopefully.
"Yep," Kelly replied. "I caught them staring at each other. It looked like they had been kissing. They don't know that I saw them though. Oh, Chandler got his cast off today."
"That's great," Ross said. "He can walk again now."
"Yeah," Kelly said happily. She paused, then her voice panicked added. "That's not great, now Monica's going to be leaving in a few days. Then what will we do? We've got to do something now."
"Like what?" Ross asked.
"I don't know," Kelly sighed. "I don't know."
"Do you think you could convince Chandler to come back to New York with Mon?" Ross questioned.
"Why would he do that?" Kelly asked.
"Well, Monica still lives in their old apartment. Refused to give it up," Ross laughed softly. "Maybe if he came and stayed with her in their old apartment..."
"Do you think it'd work?" Kelly questioned. "Cos I don't know if I could convince him. Cos then someone would have to convince Monica."
"I'm not sure," Ross replied. "It would be hard to convince Mon. There's got to be something that you can do out there."
"I suppose there is," Kelly answered. "It's just what is it?"
"I don't know," Ross sighed. "When Chandler use to talk about Mon, what did he say?"
"Um, at the beginning it was all; it's her fault'. Then it became; I miss her, why did she do this to me?'. A couple of times when he was thinking about the past, he would actually think about the good things and it would be; You know what Kelly? When we had a Christmas tree Mon would always have it just perfect, like it was store bought. Or, Mon and I went ice skating once. I can't say she was very good but we had a lot of fun.' He tried not to think of her too much as it hurt, though you could always tell that she was there in his mind."
"I don't really know what of those you could use," Ross said. "Maybe the ice skating... but I don't know what they'll think of that. Wait a minute. I know what you could do. They almost got married once, when they'd gone to Las Vegas for their one year anniversary."
"That's right," Kelly agreed. "Chandler told me that you and Rachel got married there."
"Right," Ross winced. "Anyway, to decide if they should get married Monica had to roll a hard eight at the craps table. Is there a casino you could take them to?"
"I don't know," Kelly answered. "We're not very fond of gambling here in Calgary. I'll see what I can do."
"Great," Ross replied. "Phone me if anything else happens."
Climbing into the guest bed that night Monica stared at the ceiling, not tired but not wanting to go out into the main room because she didn't know if Chandler was awake. She couldn't believe what had happened tonight.
He'd kissed her. Chandler had kissed her. Maybe he still did feel the same as she. Or maybe not. No, don't think negatively, Monica told herself. Of course he still loves you.
But what if he doesn't, Monica couldn't help thinking the worse. What if he just kissed you to hurt you? He could be like your mom, making you think you finally did something good, only to put you down again, worse then before. No, he wasn't like that... was he?
The next thing Mon knew she was crying, sobbing to be exact. It was like that, wasn't it? Of course it was, how could she expect to ever be loved? Hadn't her mom shown her that wasn't possible?
Chandler tossed in his bed. What was he going to do now? He'd kissed her, something he'd been longing to do. And there was definitely still feelings there. But how was he suppose to tell her? She probably didn't like him like that, and after all the things he'd done to her? It would be no surprise if she didn't like him.
Stopping suddenly, he listened carefully. It sounded like crying. Who'd be crying now? Chandler asked himself. He knew within an instant who it was. Monica must be beating herself over the head because of what happened. He should have known.
Climbing out of bed Chandler crept out of his room over to the door to Monica's bedroom. Standing by the door he listened carefully. Yep, the crying was coming from behind the door. He stood there in the shadows for a moment, debating what to do. Should he just go in? Listening to her cry, he decided that it was the best answer.
Opening her door slightly, he saw her curled on the bed, back to him. Entering the room silently, he walked over to her bed and sat down on the edge. Monica was too involved in her crying and thoughts to notice him. He reached out a hand and rubbed Monica's back reassuringly.
Feeling someone on her back, Monica turned over and found her self facing Chandler. Sitting up, she tried to dry her tears, but just felt more coming.
Chandler reached over to Monica and pulled her into his lab, holding her like a little child, letting her cry against his shirt. He sat like that for a while, rubbing her back and giving her a chance to calm down. When Monica finally calmed down enough to talk he asked her what was wrong. "Mon, are you okay? What happened?"
"I'm sorry Chandler," Monica continued to cry. "I'm sorry."
"About what Mon?" Chandler asked confused. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."
"For the kiss, for not being good enough," Monica cried.
Chandler sat there confused for a moment, before it came to him. This had happened before. Monica had started to think everything was wrong and that she wasn't good enough for anyone. He'd finally realized that it was because of her mom that she thought this.
"Oh Mon," Chandler kissed the top of her head. "Of course you're good enough. You're better then enough. And the kiss, it was my fault. But you're so beautiful and I just couldn't help myself. It felt like old times, the two of us cuddled on a couch and watching movies. I wanted to kiss you."
"I'm sorry though," Monica continued. Chandler, knowing it was useless, continued to reassure her that she wasn't awful. After about half an hour, Monica exhausted, fell asleep in Chandler's arms.
Chandler sat there, not knowing what to do. If he moved, she'd wake up. But if he sat there, he was going to be really sore the next day. Deciding that it would be best to not wake her, Chandler rested his head on hers and rubbed her back, eventually joining her in sleep.
Monica was surprised when she woke the next morning and found herself in Chandler's lap. She didn't remember the whole discussion last night, but figured that when she fell asleep Chandler didn't want to wake her and instead slept with her. She debated about getting up, but figured that if Chandler had spent the night holding her, the least she could do was let him sleep.
Unknown to Monica, Chandler was awake and was sitting there debating the same thing. He wanted to move, his back feeling sore and he couldn't even feel his legs. He shifted slightly and heard Monica gasp.
"Mon?" Chandler questioned. "Are you awake?"
"Yeah," Mon replied, shifting to turn and face him. "Did you stay here all night?"
"Yeah," Chandler replied, trying to stretch his back. "And I'm starting to think I would've been better off waking you. My back kills and I can't even feel my legs."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Monica moved so she was sitting beside him. "I'd give you a massage but well... you know. Why don't I go make breakfast and you can see if you can wake your legs up."
"Sure," Chandler nodded. He moved one leg slightly and smiled at the funny feeling in his leg. "You know if Joey was in my place he'd be ecstatic. He loves this feeling."
Monica laughed as she headed out of her room. "I miss him and his ... ways. He was good at making us feel smart even when we did something stupid."
"I know what you mean. I sent him a letter once and I got one of those stupid letters they send to everyone back. I phoned him and made him apologize. He then sent me a letter he wrote and it was funny. He hasn't improved when it comes to grammar or spelling or anything. It was short and just said. Hey Chandler, sorry about the other letter. I'm having a lot of fun and I hope you are too. Bye Joey."
"Well," Monica shrugged from the kitchen, laughing as Chandler stumbled out of her room and to a chair. "At least he finally got his big break. I never thought he was that good at acting, but that's because he never tried comedy. He found his spot and it totally fits him."
"Stop laughing," Chandler argued feebly. "It hurts."
"I'm sorry," Monica turned her back to him so he couldn't see her laughing. Calming herself down, she placed bacon, eggs, and toast on plates and carried the plates to the table.
"This looks great," Chandler inspected his plate. "You know I think the best food I've eaten in the last five years is the stuff you've made these last two months."
"Thanks," Monica said shyly. "It's been nice to cook for someone again. It's so lonely at my apartment with you, Joey, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel never dropping by."
"Where do you live now anyway?" Chandler asked.
"Same place I've always lived," Monica said sheepishly. "I couldn't give up the apartment after you left. Too many memories, good and bad."
"I know what you mean," Chandler nodded. Then becoming serious he added. "We need to talk."
"Right," Monica put down her fork. "I don't know what to say Chandler. I mean, that kiss last night... wow! I had been pretty sure I still loved you but wow. And waking up in your arms this morning felt just so... right."
"I know what you mean," Chandler sighed. "Wait a minute, you love me?"
"Yeah," Monica said softly. "I could never stop loving you. Do you , do you love me?"
"I think so," Chandler said equally softly. "Actually, I'm fairly positive, yes, I love you."
"You know what?" Monica said. "I've been waiting to say that to you and to hear you say that back for five years now."
"Me too," Chandler replied. "Me too."
"What do you want to do now?" Monica questioned.
"Why don't we start over?" Chandler suggested. When Monica nodded he got up and walked over to her. "Hi, my name's Chandler Bing. Fla.... Flenin.....?"
Laughing, Monica reached out and brushed some hair off Chandler's forehead. "I'd love to!"
"Great," Chandler replied, laughing as well. He moved back to his seat and sat down. "So, what do you want to do today?"
"I"m leaving today," Monica reminded him sadly. "I need to go back and check on everything and see how everything's doing."
"Right," Chandler nodded. They ate silently for a few minutes as they tried to decide what to do. "How about I come back with you?" Chandler finally said. "If that's okay of course."
"I don't know," Monica said slowly.
"Why not?" Chandler questioned. "Is something wrong?"
"Well... where would you stay?"
"Couldn't I stay with you?" Chandler asked, confused.
"Um," Monica looked away, not sure what to say.
"Is something wrong Mon?" Chandler moved his chair over so he was sitting across from Monica.
"No, not really," Monica sighed. "It's just that. It's been so long Chandler. I want to take it slowly."
"Okay," Chandler nodded. "Why don't you go back, and we'll take it from there. I'm sure there's a ton of work waiting for me in the office."
"Okay," Monica smiled. "What do you want to do until I leave?"
"How long do we have?" Chandler asked. "Cos don't you have to be at the airport three hours before your flight cos you're international?"
"Yeah, but my flights not until 7 tonight. So I guess I better get there about 4," Monica nodded her head. "We've got all morning and part of the afternoon."
"So," Chandler replied. "What do we want to do?"
"How about we go for a walk?" Monica decided after a moment. "And do you think I could borrow your laptop today? I have someone I need to email."
"Sure," Chandler told her. "It's in my bedroom. Why don't you do that while I put everything in the dishwasher."
"Okay," Monica stood up and hurried into Chandler's bedroom. Sitting on his bed, she placed the laptop on her lap and turned it on. Once on the main screen, she opened Netscape and logged onto the internet and went to ca.yahoo.com. She entered her username and password and wasn't surprised to find she had no mail, because she'd only opened the account about three weeks ago and no one knew her address. Opening up a new form, she started to write her email.
Hope you're feeling better and back at school. I just thought I'd write and tell you the latest about Chandler's and mines 'relationship'. I did what we discussed and we're 'together' now. Sort of but not. I don't know if it's going to work, it's been so long, and maybe we've only convinced ourselves this is right. I guess I'm starting to doubt what's going on. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.
I'm flying home later today, and Chandler wanted to come. I told him not to. Do you think that was a good idea? I just think I need to spend some time alone right now. To gather my thoughts and check on my company and all.
PS When's your birthday?
After rereading her letter, Monica hit send and let the message send off to Joey. Logging off the Internet, she shut down the computer. Sitting on Chandler's bed, she thought about everything that had happened.
"Is something wrong Mon?" Monica glanced up to see Chandler standing in the doorway.
"No," Monica shook herself back into reality. "Just thinking, that's all."
"Coming?" Chandler turned to leave. When Monica didn't move he paused. "Aren't you coming?"
"Yeah," Monica nodded and got up. She followed Chandler out of the room and they pulled on winter jackets and hats and grabbed the movies. Opening the door, they headed out of the apartment.
After returning the movies, neither wanted to go back to the apartment. Chandler was sick of it after having been kept inside because of his legs, and Monica just felt like being outside. They walked along the sidewalk slowly, side by side, but not touching. Chandler looked around eagerly, having missed being outside, but Monica just started at the ground, a sad look on her face.
Chandler finally noticed the look as they entered a park and led her over to a bench where they sat down. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Monica shook her head.
"Something's wrong Mon, I know something is!" Chandler insisted.
"I'm telling you there's nothing wrong!" Monica replied, standing up angry.
"Whoa, calm down," Chandler pulled her back to the bench. "Okay, it's okay."
"I'm sorry," Monica looked away.
"Hey, don't worry about it," Chandler told her softly. "Look, why don't we go back to my apartment and have lunch and decide what to do for the afternoon. We'll need to leave at about three o'clock to get there on time."
"Okay," Monica nodded and Chandler stood up and pulled her to her feet.
Arriving back to her own apartment, Monica looked up Chat Café's in the phone book and then headed over to one. Like the last time she'd been to one, one of the attendants helped her log on to the network and internet.
Just like earlier that morning, Monica headed over to ca.yahoo.com. She logged into her email and was happy to see an email waiting for her from Joey.
Thanks for the email, and unfortunately I'm back at school. :( I missed a lot of work and am getting stressed out trying to catch up.
If I understood your email, you're with Chandler, but also are not with him. That doesn't make much sense! I'm going to guess that when you're reading this letter, you're back in New York, without Chandler. I know you're wondering if you did the right thing, and I think you did, but that's pretty much up to you. You want to take things slowly, that understandable. You're not sure if it's going to work, well... is anyone sure about love? I think it will be good for you to spend a few days by yourself to try to figure out what you're feeling. There's an old saying that I've heard, and it says if you think you love something, let it go. If it comes back, then it truly is love! And if I know Chandler, which I don't, but anyways, I think you're going to be getting an unexpected visitor soon.
I know, well actually I don't but I'm guessing here, that you probably are thinking that you don't want to see him. Well, believe me, or don't, I think you'll be happier if you do see him and have a long talk with him. The two of you have a lot of things you still need to discuss, even if you don't think so. Just a thought, anyway.
Smiling, Monica logged out of her mail account in a daze. She wondered what Joey meant by an unexpected visitor. The only one she could be talking about it Chandler, and like he would come all the way to New York.
Monica pushed the thought to the back of her mind and surfed through some chat rooms for a while, just in case Joey was online. After about half an hour, she gave up logged off the internet and left.
Getting up the next morning, Monica picked up the phone to call Ross, something she'd forgotten to do. She knew he'd want to know what was going on.
"Hey Ross," Monica said after she heard him pick up.
"Oh hey Mon," Ross said cheerfully.
"I'm back!" Monica laughed slightly.
"Is Chandler with you?" Ross asked eagerly.
"No, why?" Monica replied, confused.
"Oh, no reason," Ross quickly covered up. "Just thought he might have come back with you."
"Why would he do that?" Monica asked.
"I don't know..." Ross admitted. "So what's up between you two anyway?"
"Not much," Monica didn't feel like talking about it with him. "What about you and Rachel?"
Returning home from the office the day after Monica had left, Chandler fell, exhausted onto his bed. He was tired and didn't feel like cooking. His mind wandered to Monica as he thought about food and he once again hit himself on the head that he'd let her leave.
Leaning back against his pillow, he closed his eyes, only to be jerked awake moments later by the phone. Groaning, he reached over and picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hey Chandler, what's up?" Kelly said cheerfully into the phone.
"Nothing's up, it's all down!" Chandler groaned.
"Why's that?" Kelly questioned. "No wait, is it because as certain person left yesterday?"
"Yeah," Chandler admitted. "I don't know what to do. I was going to go back with her, but she didn't want me to. She wouldn't really explain why, either!"
"I'm sure she just wanted sometime alone or something like that. It's probably nothing to do with you. Anyway, did you forget or something? We've got somewhere to be in an hour!"
"We do?" Chandler replied confused.
"Yeah, today Josie and Sam come back!" Kelly said happily into the phone.
"They do?" Chandler had completely forgotten. "Oh, I guess I was just so caught up in... things, that I forgot. Am I driving?"
"I don't know if you should," Kelly said slowly. "I mean, what with your legs and all."
"I drove Monica to the airport," Chandler protested.
"I know, and you probably shouldn't have," Kelly scolded. "Look, I'll drive, okay? Don't argue. Besides, it'll be good for you to be off your legs again. All you've done since you got your casts off is used your legs!"
"Fine," Chandler grumbled. "When are you coming over?"
"I'll be there in five minutes," Kelly replied. "I'll wait for you outside your building."
"Josie! Sam!" Chandler and Kelly called out their names as they spotted their friends.
"Hey guys!" Josie and Sam shouted. They hurried over and the four friends hugged excitedly.
"How was the trip, come on, tell all!" Kelly begged as they piled into the car for the ride back to Sam and Josie's apartment.
"It was the best," Josie replied from the front seat where she sat beside Kelly, who was driving. "First we..."
"Sam?" Chandler tuned out the girls and turned to his friend. "Can I talk to you about something?" He glanced forward and caught Kelly's eye in the rearview mirror. She smiled encouragingly, then turned back to Josie.
"Sure Chandler, what's up?" Sam asked.
"I guess I better start from the beginning," Chandler said slowly. "You see, just over eight weeks ago, two months, I broke both of my legs when snowboarding."
"Oh my god!" Sam broke in. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine now. But I couldn't do anything, and Kelly was busy working, so I asked my friend Ross to come out. And you know how I've told you about Ross and Rachel? Well, I also asked Rachel to come out, because they hadn't been talking lately, and I thought it was about time they did. The thing is, when I was matchmaking, so was Ross. He brought out his sister, Monica."
"Monica the one you..." Sam trailed off.
"Yeah, Monica the one I broke up with just before I moved out here," Chandler nodded. "This is where my first stupid act came in. I had Kelly pretend to be my girlfriend, so I wouldn't look stupid to her. Except, she didn't have a boyfriend, so I didn't need and girlfriend and I ended up hurting her instead. Things went downhill, especially when Kelly finally told Monica that we weren't dating. Monica got angry and left and didn't return until the next morning. We asked her where she had gone, but she refused to tell us. Now the day I got my casts off, we went and rented some movies to watch. Ross and Rachel had spent the whole time together and had left a few weeks earlier because of their jobs. When we were watching the first one, a romantic comedy she'd picked out, I kissed her."
"And?" Sam asked slowly.
"Well, then Kelly came over so we pretended that nothing had happened. That night, I heard her crying, and I went to see her. She fell asleep in my arms, and I didn't want to wake her, so we slept like that. The next morning we discussed everything and decided we wanted to be together. The thing is, she left that afternoon. I wanted to go with her, but she didn't want me too. What do I do now? Does she want to be with me or not?"
"Wow," Sam said slowly. "I don't know Chandler. You're going to ask her yourself, and not over the phone. I think you should go out and see her. Who cares that she said that she doesn't want to see you. You can still go and see her and work things out."
"But she didn't want me to go back with her," Chandler complained.
"It doesn't matter. You've still got to go and see her," Sam reassured him.
"See!" Kelly laughed from the front seat. "Told you so!"
"Yeah Chandler," Josie nodded. "She's probably wondering if she did the right thing, leaving and all. And have you even phoned her since she left?" When Chandler didn't answer, Josie continued. "Right, now Kelly, let's go to Chandler's apartment. He needs to pack his bags and get on the next flight to New York."
"But, but," Chandler replied.
"No BUTS!" Sam, Kelly and Josie lashed back.
The next thing Chandler knew, he was landing in New York and hurrying out of the plane. He hated flying, and was anxious to get off the plane.
Once in the main terminal, he went through customs. He had only brought a carry on bag, so he went over to the information counter where Sam, Josie and Kelly said they'd leave information for him on his hotel room etc.
He found out that they'd managed to get him into a hotel not far from Monica's apartment, and that they'd phoned Ross and warned him about his arrival. Ross was going to come by to take him over to Monica's at 7 o'clock, even though they knew he would be fine on his own. They just thought it might be better to have Ross there incase Monica is mad at him, even though that idea didn't make sense and the two girls were she was just as confused and upset as he was.
Chandler thanked the person at the desk and headed out of the airport to hail a taxi. It felt great, to be back in New York. He hadn't come back since he had left, giving all the trips his office required of him to someone else he trusted. He hadn't been able to face New York. Not after what had happened between him and Monica.
At 7 o'clock when Ross arrived to pick him up, Chandler was pacing nervously in the lobby of his hotel. The person at the front desk had been watching him worried, and told Ross that he was glad that he was there.
"You should have seen him earlier, he was beating himself over the head," the girl told Ross.
"I can imagine," Ross smiled. "A lot of guys do that when the topic is about women."
"Oh, love trouble?" the girl asked, curious.
"Sort of, but hopefully it will be all sorted out tonight!" Ross smiled at the girl, before grabbing Chandler's arm and dragging him out of the hotel. Once outside, Chandler moved to the curb to hail a taxi, but Ross pulled him back.
"Chandler, you're tense enough," Ross told him. "We're going to walk, you need to calm down."
"I am calm!" Chandler said confidently, straightening up his shoulders. After a moments, he let his shoulders fall down. "Okay, I'm not. But why would she have not wanted me to come back with her?" Chandler asked worried.
"Probably cos she wasn't sure what she wanted and what to do," Ross replied softly. "She probably didn't want to hurt your feelings."
"Well, she did," Chandler replied. "If that was the case, couldn't she have told me? It hurts more this way, like she doesn't trust me."
"Well, have you thought about how this relationship is going to work?" Ross asked. "Because I'm positive Monica has, and she's probably worried, because you're going to have the same argument that you had five years ago. Who gives up their job? And if no one does, how are you going to make it work? You live in separate countries!"
"Not according to some people," Chandler interjected. "Supposedly Canada's just like the US."
"That's not true," Ross shook his head. "Canadian's are polite, we're not." As if to emphasize his point, taxies started to honk at each other.
"Whatever," Chandler brushed it aside as they turned to enter the apartment building.
Upstairs, Chandler stepped to the side as Ross opened the door and walked in. He listened as Ross told Monica that she had a visitor. He counted to five in his head slowly, then took a deep breath and walked through the door.
"Chandler!" Monica gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you," Chandler replied feebly. He dimly heard Ross excuse himself and leave.
"Why?" Monica was shocked. "I mean, you live in Calgary."
"Yeah, so?" Chandler shrugged his shoulders. "We need to talk Mon, and I don't want to have this conversation over the phone."
"Me neither," Monica agreed. "So...?"
"Well, why don't we put everything on the table," Chandler suggested. "This is going to be hard. We both live and work in different countries. Neither want's to give it up, and neither wants the other to give their's up."
"Right," Monica nodded. "But you forgot the most important thing."
"And what's that?"
"Well, how do we know... do we know that we still..." Monica trailed off. After a moment she continued softly. "How do we know we still love each other, that it isn't just something we've convinced ourselves to believe."
"I don't know," Chandler said equally softly. "The only way to find out is to try."
"But what if we get hurt?" Monica asked softly. "I don't want to get hurt Chandler. I can't handle it again."
"I know Mon, I know," Chandler agreed. "But if we don't try, then we won't know if we would have gotten hurt or if we would have stayed together."
"I don't know what to do Chandler, I want to be with you, but only if I can be sure I won't be hurt!"
"But you can never be sure about love!" Chandler replied. "What do you want to do Mon? Do you want to give us a try, or do you want to just stay apart?"
"I, I don't know," Monica hung her head, tears falling silently. "I don't want to get hurt! I think, I think maybe we should..."
"If that's what you want," Chandler told her, hiding his own feelings. He stood up and walked over to the door. Opening the door and stepping outside, he turned to face her one last time. "I guess I'll be seeing you around."
Use HOLD ME for scene above
Monica watched as the door closed behind him and he walked out of her life for the second time. The only difference, was that this time she was positive she'd never see him again. Last time there had been hope left, but it was gone now. With this relizeation, Monica collapsed into tears.
Ross had been watching from his apartment across the street as Chandler had gotten up and left. He watched his sister cry, then glanced down at the street in time to see Chandler exit the building. Ross watched as Chandler started down the street, then pause, glance back at the building and wipe away the tears in his eyes. Chandler shook his head, and continued down the street. As Chandler vanished around a corner, Ross directed his gaze back into his sister's apartment. She was lying on the couch, sobbing.
Chandler walked away slowly from Monica's apartment, then paused. He glanced back and angrily brushed away the tears that were in his eyes. Could things BE any worse? She didn't love, didn't want to be with him. He shook his head, and continued down the street. Turning the corner, he vowed to himself, that if this was what she wanted, she wouldn't have to ever see or hear from him again.
Arriving home from work, Chandler grabbed his mail before heading up to his apartment. Once in side, he dropped his coat on the back of a chair and set down his briefcase. Taking the pile of mail he sorted it into four piles. Junk, Bills, Business and Personal.
He groaned as he spotted a letter from Monica. She'd written him every week since the last time they had spoke, and he had never written back. He had told himself that he was not going to speak to her or see her again.
He'd spoken to Ross once since that fateful day. Ross had been mad with him, and had never phoned him again after he told him that he wasn't going to talk to or see Monica again. He didn't blame Ross, but he wanted to keep his promise. Monica had made it pretty clear that she didn't want to be with him.
He debated about just tossing the letter, but in the end he did what he always did. He opened the letter and read it. Like normal, it was splattered with what looked like drops of water, but could only be tears.
I don't know if you're going to read this, and I don't blame you for not writing back. Hey, I don't know if I wouldn't have written back if I were in your place.
I just want to tell you what I've told you in all my other letters. I'm sorry Chandler, and maybe I do want to try. It's been hurting a lot, probably more than if we had gotten together and broke up these last moths. I blame myself for never realising what I had until it was too late.
I know you don't want to talk to me, and that's okay. It's your life and I can't change that. But would you please phone Ross. I don't want you to break your connections with everyone else because of me. I got a letter from Joey the other day saying he was worried about you. That you hadn't written or called in months, same goes for Phoebe and Rachel and Ross. They're still your friends. Don't ditch them because of me.
I'll love you for always,
Chandler set down the letter and leaned against the counter. It had been a bit different then her last letters. They were all begging him to come back, to phone her, to let her come out. She'd never mentioned everyone else before.
He knew he had been deserting his friends recently, but he just couldn't face them. He screened all his calls now through his answering machine because he was collecting a list of people he didn't want to talk to.
Like the first time he had left Mon, he buried himself in work and refused to talk about things with everybody, including Josie, Sam and Kelly. He knew they were worried about him, but that was their problem. He didn't care anymore. He turned his life into routine, and followed it daily. It was always the same, and that pleased him. No surprises, nothing different.
DING DONG! Chandler started when he heard his doorbell ring.
"Hello?" Chandler said into the microphone part.
"Hey Chandler, it's us!" Sam replied. "We're coming up!"
Chandler sighed and opened the door, waiting for them to appear. When the did, he groaned. They were all dressed for skiing/snowboarding.
"Guess where we're going for the long weekend?!" Josie said sarcastically.
"And guess who's coming with us!" Kelly said.
"It better not be me," Chandler said slowly.
"Of course you're coming," Sam told Chandler. "Do you think I would go with just these two? I need another guy along!"
"Nope, forget it, I'm not coming," Chandler protested. They didn't listen to him and Sam walked into his room to pack his bag. Josie and Kelly found his snowboard and boots and brought them to the door. They then forced Chandler into a coat and pulled a hat on to his head. "No! I don't want to go!" Chandler cried out.
"Hey, what's this?" Kelly asked, spotting the letter from Monica.
"Nothing, nothing at all!" Chandler leaped forward and grabbed the letter. He folded it up and placed it in his coat pocket.
"What was that?" Josie asked.
"Nothing!" Chandler said angrily. "Leave me alone."
"Whoa, calm down," Josie put a sympathetic hand on his arm.
"Come on everybody," Sam shouted, caring a duffel bag from Chandler's room. "Let's go!"
Josie pulled Chandler out of the apartment after Sam. Kelly legged behind, having spotted an envelope on the counter that was most likely from the letter that Chandler had been reading. When Chandler was out the door, she moved over and glanced at the name. She wasn't surprised to find Mon's name on it, but smiled to herself as she gathered up Chandler's snowboard and boots. She quickly hurried out of the apartment, and shut the door behind her.
They reached Lake Louise at about ten o'clock that night, so they checked into the small cabin place they'd rented and ate a quick dinner and went to bed. They were going to hit the slopes early the next morning.
Kelly watched as everyone headed off to their different rooms, and pretended she was putting away the dishes. Once Chandler was out of site, she snatched up the phone and dialled. She waited impatiently for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" A voice finally asked.
"Hi, is Monica there?" Kelly asked.
"Yeah, just a minute," Kelly winced as she heard the guy yell for Monica. After a moment she could hear footsteps and then Monica picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Monica asked.
"Hey Mon, just wanted to tell you that Chandler got your letter."
"Great!" Monica told her.
The next morning, they all got up early, and got dressed for a day on the slopes. Chandler made them pancakes, eggs and bacon for breakfast. It was the one thing he had learned to cook from Monica.
After they had all eaten, they piled back into the car with all their equipment, ski's for Josie and snowboards for Chandler, Kelly and Sam. Arriving at the hill they paid for their lift tickets and headed outside and strapped on their gear.
They consulted the map and decide to try a blue hill first. Chandler was a little weary about snowboarding, and wanted to take it easy for the first bit and if all went well, was dying to go into the snowboard park.
They got into line for the chair lift and squished onto it together. On the way up they talked about what hills they wanted to try and once again agreed that the chair wasn't designed for four adults.
At the top they pushed off and Josie waited patiently for the three to strap in their other foot. Once they were ready, they moved over to the hill and pushed off.
Chandler carved his way down the hill at top speed, being careful to watch out for trees. As he neared the bottom, the trail joined one of a green hill. He slowed to a stop to let a group of adults having a skiing lesson slowly past. He found his gaze settle on two females and a male of the group. One of the females and the other male were trying to get the other females attention. The other female was looking around, occasionally, and then back at the hill and leader.
"Hey Chandler!" Kelly shouted as she passed by. "Race you to the bottom!"
Chandler quickly took off after her, not noticing the three people he had been watching turned to look over at him.
At lunch they four sat in the lodge with burgers, fries and hot chocolate. They were trying to decide what to do for the afternoon. Chandler wanted to go to the snowboard park and spend some time on the half pipe and the other's weren't sure if he should.
"Oh, come on guys, you dragged me out here, I think I should be allowed to do what I want!" Chandler protested.
"But remember what happened last time you were snowboarding?" Kelly interrupted. "You broke both legs and you weren't even on a hard trail!"
"Hey, I was distracted," Chandler replied.
"Well, what happens if you get distracted again, you'll probably kill yourself!" Josie told him. "We like you Chandler, we want you alive."
"No! I want to go on the half pipe, let me go, let me go," Chandler protested like a little kid.
"Fine," Kelly held up her hands. "But I'm coming with you. Josie and Sam can do what they like."
But Chandler wasn't listening to her. He had over heard part of a conversation at the table across from them.
"I can't believe he's here!" A girl said in shock.
"Are you sure you saw him?" One of the guys at the table protested. "I mean, what would Joey Tribianni be doing here, in Lake Louise!"
"He wasn't alone," The girl replied. "He was snowboarding with a girl and there were two more girls and another guy, but they were skiing."
"I don't believe you!" a third guy shook his head.
"Oh My GOD! LOOK!" a second girl exclaimed. "He just came in!"
Chandler spun his head around in the direction the girl had pointed. He felt his heart stop as he saw Joey standing at the entrance with Phoebe, Ross, Rachel and Monica. Monica! What was she doing here. They were looking over in his direction, but it looked like they were looking past him. He gasped as they headed in his direction and came to a stop next to his table.
"Hey Monica!" Kelly stood up and gave Mon a hug. "Good to see you! You too Ross and Rachel."
'Hey Kelly," Monica smiled at her friend. "This is Phoebe, and I'm pretty sure you recognize this guy, but anyway, this is Joey."
"Nice to meet you Phoebe and Joey," Kelly greeted the other two. "The two you don't know are Sam and Josie. Where are you guys sitting?"
"I don't know," Monica could feel Chandlers gaze on her, but she ignored it and turned to the others.
"Why don't you join us?" Sam suggested. He got up and brought a few more chairs over to the table. Monica nodded and sat down between Kelly and Chandler. Joey moved his seat to the other side of Chandler and the others placed them selves around the table.
Chandler could feel the gaze of everyone else in the room staring in awe over at his table. "Hey Joe," Chandler turned to his friend, so he would stop looking at Monica.
"Hey Chandler, buddy!" Joey said happily. "Long time no hear!"
"Yeah, sorry about that," Chandler shrugged it off.
"So what girl are you with?" Joey asked, pretending he hadn't heard the whole story from Ross, Rachel and Monica.
"None," Chandler shook his head. "Just friends."
"So who's free then?" Joey asked.
"Kelly is. Josie and Sam are going out," Chandler told him. "So why are you guys out here?"
"I don't know, felt like a trip, and I love snowboarding. Took it up a couple of years ago with Phoebe," Joey replied. "Ross and Rachel had never been skiing or snowboarding before, so they're taking skiing lessons. I mean, could you imagine Ross on a snowboard?"
"No I suppose I couldn't," Chandler agreed, laughing slightly. "So how long you guys here for?"
"Dunno," Joey shrugged. "It depends on when we feel like going back."
"I'm going to the snowboard park after lunch, want to join me?" Chandler asked.
"Joey, could you pass me he salt?" Monica asked.
"Sure," Chandler reached out and grabbed it to pass to Monica. When he held it out to her she didn't take it.
"Joey? The salt?" Monica asked again.
Joey grabbed the salt from Chandler and passed it to Monica. "Here Mon."
Half an hour later, everyone decided to go back out to the slopes. Josie, Sam and Phoebe were going off together, as were Ross and Rachel, and Kelly and Monica. Monica had left for the bathroom, and after everyone else left, so did Joey. Chandler waited for Joey at the table, but it was Monica who came back first.
She grabbed her jacket and started to put it on.
"Monica?" Chandler questioned, but Monica ignored him. "Fine, never mind."
Monica walked away and Joey came back. Chandler sighed and headed out with Joey to hit the slopes.
That evening they gathered for dinner in a restaurant at Sunshine that was known for it's food and great atmosphere. They had arrived a little early to have some time snowboarding and skiing on the slopes.
Chandler found himself being ignored by Monica for the second time. After everyone had finished dinner, Josie and Sam went to the dance floor, as did Ross and Rachel. Joey invited Kelly to dance and she agreed and a guy came by and asked Phoebe to dance.
Chandler found himself sitting alone at the table when Monica returned from the bathroom. Chandler didn't say anything, because he knew that Monica was going to ignore him. Instead he watched everyone on the dance floor, listening to the music.
"So," Monica spoke up first. Chandler looked over at her in surprise. "How do you like being ignored? I wrote to you every week and you never wrote back. Why? Why Chandler?"
"Because..." Chandler paused. "You didn't want to try, you wanted to forget everything. I wanted to be with you, but I wanted to be more than friends."
"Why couldn't we have been friends? We were friends before!"
"Yeah, back before all this happened. Look at Ross and Rachel, they never really became friends again after all of that. They still love each other and someday will probably be ready to admit that. I love you Monica, but if you don't want that, then I don't want to see you, because it's easier to forget that way. And if nothings going to happen, I want to be able to move on. I don't want to move on, but if you don't want me, I'm going to try to find someone who does."
"But I do want you, Chandler," Monica replied. "I love you."
"Then how could you be willing to be just friends again?" Chandler asked. "I know you're afraid of getting hurt. The whole human race is, but the people who get anywhere in life take risks, and if they get hurt they get over it. All humans get over it."
"Not all," Monica whispered and Chandler could barely hear her.
"Mon, I love you a lot, and I think you do too, so, would you like to give it one more try?" Chandler asked, crossing his fingers hopefully.
"Oh Chandler, I do, I really do, but I don't know if I can..." Monica trailed off.
"Fine!" Chandler said angrily. He got up and stormed out of the restaurant. Monica got up and chased after him.
"No, Chandler, please," Monica begged when she found Chandler. He was grabbing his snowboard. She followed him over to where the Gondolas were. You had to take the gondola to get down the mountain, but there was also a trail, for people who didn't want to ride. Chandler sat down in the snow by the trail and strapped on his snowboard. "Chandler, please, can we talk?"
"Forget it Mon," Chandler shook his head. "You don't want to be together, so it's over. There's nothing to talk about." He pushed off and started down the slope. Monica watched until he was out of site, then headed back to the lodge, defeated.
When she entered the lodge, Monica found everyone sitting at the table waiting for her and Chandler.
"Where is he?" Kelly asked, when Monica sat down, tears streaming down her face.
"He went down the trail by the gondola on his snowboard," Monica replied. "He doesn't want to talk to me. He HATES me."
"No he doesn't," Josie reassured her. "He's been so upset since you guys talked in New York. He loves you Monica."
"That's right," Rachel nodded. "What happened when you were talking?"
"He asked me if I would give 'us' another try," Monica sobbed.
"And what did you say?" Ross asked.
"I told him I did, but that I didn't know if I can," Monica said slowly, realizing just how much she'd hurt Chandler. He'd asked for her back twice now and she refused both times, and yet she still blamed it on him. "Oh he HATES me. I HATE me."
"Why can't you?" Sam asked confused.
"I, I don't know," Monica replied. "I want to get together, but what if it doesn't work, then one of us will get hurt and I don't want to get hurt."
"But that's what love is," Phoebe told Mon. "Taking chances."
After taking the Gondola down to the bottom, they expected that Chandler would be waiting for them, but was surprised to find him no where in site. Even the gondola operator said he hadn't seen anyone come in off the trail. When they heard this, the friends started to get worried.
"What are we going to do?" Monica moaned.
"We could walk up the trail," Joey suggested.
"No way," Sam shook his head. "It's too long. I suggest we take the Gondola to the top, and ski and snowboard down the trail and look for him. What if he crashed into another tree!"
Everyone quickly agreed with his idea and climbed back onto the gondola. They all watched the trail eagerly, hoping to see him. When the reached the top, everyone quickly got strapped into their equipment and they headed down the trail slowly. It probably wasn't the best idea, they quickly realized. Ross, Rachel and Monica had only learned to ski that day and it was pitch black. About half way down the trail they spotted Chandler. He was sitting in the snow, leaning against a tree, his snowboard beside him. He wasn't hurt, just thinking. He hadn't seen them yet, so they paused and all sat down. After a short discussion, they decided that Monica should go down and talk with him.
Monica stood up with a bit of help and skied the short distance to Chandler, where she half stopped and half fell. Taking off her ski's, Monica moved over and sat beside Chandler.
Chandler was so lost in his thoughts, he still hadn't realized that Monica was there. Reaching out, Monica laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey," Monica said softly. Chandler, startled, almost jumped at her touch. He turned to look at her.
"Hey Mon," Chandler said equally softly. "Why are you here?"
"We were worried," Monica told him. "We went down the gondola and they said they hadn't seen you so we went back up and started down the trail."
"Yeah, the rest are sitting up there," Monica pointed behind her. "They think that we need to talk."
"What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you think we need to talk?"
"Yeah, yeah I do," Monica nodded. "I want to be with you Chandler, really I do. I'm just scared. What if things don't work out? What about our jobs? How would we even make it work? Neither of us want to give up our jobs, we've been through that discussion before."
"I don't know the answer's Mon," Chandler told her. "All I know is that I love you, and that somehow everything can work out."
"But what if things don't..." Monica was interrupted as Chandler kissed her.
"Forget about the 'what if's'," Chandler told her after he had pulled away. "I'm sure, actually I'm positive things will work out." Chandler leaned over and kissed her again. This time Monica got into it, and kissed him back.
"Hey you guys!" Kelly shouted. "Are you done yet? We're freezing!"
Chandler and Monica were to busy and didn't here her. Kelly took off her snowboard and quickly made a snowball and threw it at Monica and Chandler. Startled, they broke away from each other and looked back up the hill. They could dimly see Kelly smiling successfully. Grabbing some snow, Monica made her own snowball and threw it back, hitting Kelly. Chandler attempted to do the same, but his aim was a bit off and he hit Sam. It then broke out into a snowball war until they were all freezing and decide that they better leave. They all strapped themselves back into their snowboards and skis and headed down the hill to the bottom. At the bottom they piled into the two cars they had arrived in and drove back to their cabins. It turned out to Chandler's surprise, that Kelly and Monica had been planning this for awhile. Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Monica were staying next door to the other four. Everyone was to wide awake to go to bed, so they gathered in Kelly, Sam, Josie's and Chandler's cabin to watch a movie. Sam and Kelly had each brought a few along, and the group voted on the movie. After a short fight, a romantic comedy was stuck in the VCR, as there were more girls then guys.
Monica went into the kitchen and made popcorn while everyone else got settled in. Ross, Rachel, Josie and Sam claimed the couch, Joey took a chair, Phoebe and Kelly the floor and Chandler occupied the other chair.
When Monica returned, she handed out bowls of popcorn and went to sit on the floor with Phoebe and Kelly. Chandler stopped her and pulled her onto his lap. Monica protested for a while, until Chandler pointed out that it would probably be more comfortable on the chair with him, then on the floor. Monica had to agree. She sighed and leaned back as Chandler put his arms around her. They turned on the movie and paused it after five minutes so Phoebe and Kelly could get pillows. When they returned, they turned the movie back on.
"Shoot," Chandler whispered as the moving was ending and everyone turned to look at him. "Monica fell asleep," Chandler whispered to everyone. "I guess I'm stuck."
"Let's watch another movie, Kelly said eagerly and this time the guys outvoted the girls and they put in an action movie. It wasn't long into the second movie that some stood up and went to bed. Chandler found himself as the movie was ending alone with Monica.
Chandler groaned, and found himself debating with himself once again if he should move. Once again, he decided not to. At least he was in a more comfortable position this time. He leaned back in his seat and fell asleep.
When Monica woke up the next morning, she mentally hit her self on the head for falling asleep in Chandler's lap. She should have known that he was too nice to move her. Moving as gently as she could, Monica managed to get up with out waking him. She found a blanket and covered him up then went into the kitchen to start making breakfast for everyone.
"Hey Mon," Kelly joined her a while later. "Oh, that looks good."
"Thanks," Monica replied. "Where did you guys all disappear to?"
"We watched two movies and then we all left to go to sleep," Kelly told her. "I saw Chandler on the chair. Did you two sleep there all night?"
"Yeah, he didn't wake me up," Monica told her. "I feel bad about it. I seem to always get the more comfortable position."
"Well that's Chandler," Kelly laughed. "Nicest guy around."
"I know," Monica nodded. She looked up as they heard a noise as Joey, Rachel and Ross joined them in the kitchen. "Hey guys."
"Hey Mon, Kelly," they all replied back. "Is that Chandler over on the chair?"
"Yeah, he didn't wake me up," Monica explained once more. "I thought I'd let him get some more sleep."
"Hey people," Phoebe joined them with Sam and Josie trailing behind.
"What d'ya make for breakfast Mon?" Joey asked eagerly as everyone sat around the table.
"Bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes," Monica listed off everything.
"Wow," Sam whistled. "It all smells really good."
"Go ahead and start," Monica told them. "I'll just go wake Chandler."
"Did somebody say my name?" Chandler asked sleepily from the doorway. "Good morning everyone."
"Hey Chandler," Joey patted the chair beside him. "Come eat, Monica spent the morning cooking."
"I miss cooking for a group of people," Monica admitted as she sat down at the table next to Chandler.
"I miss being cooked for," Joey said sadly.
"Don't you have a million cooks?" Chandler asked.
"Yeah, but it doesn't taste the same. I like Monica's cooking better."
"Thanks Joey," Monica smiled at him.
"So what are we doing today?" Rachel questioned, looking around at everyone.
"I don't know," Josie shrugged. "What does everyone want to do?"
"I want to go snowboarding again," Joey said immediately. "I want to spend some more time in the half pipe."
"I'll go with you," Kelly volunteered.
"I think Ross and I will come too," Rachel spoke up. "We both want to spend a bit more time learning to ski."
"Josie and I are coming," Sam added. "We didn't come out here for no reason."
"I don't think I'm going to join you guys," Chandler told them. "I'm sore from yesterday. I might drive over to Banff."
"Do you mind if I come with you?" Monica asked Chandler. "I promised some people in New York I'd bring them something back."
"Sure," Chandler nodded. "Banff's a good place for souvenirs."
TO BE CONTINUED... MAYBE