TOW the thinking, part 5

So this is the last part of the series. I hope it is long enough and not too confusing. The characters do not belong to me.


" Monica wait!" I heard from behind and turned around. Chandler stood there with the piece of paper, which I had given him, in his hands looking confused. I smiled and went back to him. I knew I had to tell him at least a reason why I had to leave. " Sorry I called you back, but you left me here all confused." Chandler said. " Thatīs ok, if you want you can come with me. But it is important for me to do it, and I have to do it now." He nodded. Deep inside of me I was glad that Chandler came with me, so I wasnīt alone. I knew it was going to be hard, harder than I imagined in the first place...

On the way back to my apartment I didnīt tell Chandler what was going on. I wanted to tell him but just when I had talked with him, the man who raped me. The more near we came, the more nervous I got. I searched for the words I should use, the should be mean but not too mean īcause I was scared to hurt him. Which was ridicilous, this man had raped me! But it was still hard for me to hate him. It seemed like Chandler knew that I couldnīt tell me what was going on with me, at least not yet. He was quite the whole time, just smiling at me from time to time. I was very happy to have him near me.

Then we entered the apartment, everybody was there. They all looked at me and Chandler. I saw how shocked Chandler was when he saw him and he was as well. " Everybody this is Chandler." They all said hello to him. I knew the moment was there, I just had to be alone with him. " Could you leave me and Ross alone for a moment." I said. They all looked a little weird at me, but they left and Chandler with them. But I stopped him, I wanted him to have him there. For a moment we just stood there, Chandler at the door, Ross at the couch and I stood in the kitchen. " Why did you never tell me?" I asked, trying not to cry. " I didnīt do it on purpose." " I know you didnīt, but it happened. All the time you let me wonder who..." I stopped. Tears were streaming down my face. This was my brother in front of me but also the man who had raped me.

" I wanted to tell you, believe me I wanted but what should I have said?" Ross said. Suddenly I was so angry with him, I hated him and I didnīt care if he was my brother or not. " Maybe the truth, why did you rape me?" I turned around, just to make sure if Chandler was still there. I could see that something in him was working. Then I turned back to Ross. " It wasnīt supposed to be you." He said. I got even more angry. " So you wanted to rape someone but then you raped me!?" " I didnīt want to rape someone." He explained. " I had to." He then said. " What?" I asked confused but still angry. " Rachel had flirted with me the whole time, and then she just..." " You wanted to rape Rachel!?" I cut him off. " She made me!" he yelled. I was so ashamed of my brother in that moment. I had never thought that he would be one of these men. I had always loved him so much and he had always cared so much but now... " Ross, please go. Just go and conme back never. Ok, never." I said. My voice was calm and full of pain. Sure, he was my brother but he had hurt me and the people who trusted him. He looked at me one last time. " I am gonna miss you, and tell Rachel that I am sorry, and that I love her." With that he left. I couldnīt move, I couldnīt even think. In this moment all the memories came back, that party that had destroyed my life. Chandler slowly came to me and hugged me from behind. When I felt him, I began to cry hysterically. I had to let all of this out...

The others were shocked when I told him, especially Rachel. She cried but mostly sorry fo me, and she felt guily because she thought that it had been her fault that Ross had raped me, but I told her that it had been him and not her. In the evening Chandler and I were alone in my apartment, the other had left. They all had to deal with the things I had told them. " So it had been you at this party but you didnīt die?" Chandler asked. " I guess. I wonder why I thought that it had been you who raped me." " I donīt know. We didnīt even know each other, I had seen you for the first time."

" Your eyes." " What?" " You helped me and I looked in your eyes, that was the last thing I remembered, thatīs why I thought it." I said. He looed at me and once again he smiled. I loved the way he smiled. Something in me was broken, Ross had broken it but I knew with Chandlerīs help I could fix it, his eyes told me i could trust him and that he would never leave or hurt me, ever...



That was the last part! So I know it was short but I really tried to make it long. I guess no one thought that it had been Ross, most of you thought that it was Sean. Well, at first I thought so, too but then it would have been too easy. Sorry, for all Ross fans!

I am not planning on a sequel but if a lot of people ( like 10) want me to then I`ll write one.

Written by Anika