[Scene: in the chapel, continued from the end of The One With Ross's Wedding, Part II.]

Emily: Yes-of course, go on.

[All of a sudden, Mr. Waltham jumps up.]

Mr. Waltham: Stop! This is an absolute outrage!

[Emily and Ross spin around, and all the guests stare at Mr. Waltham, except Rachel, who is still staring, amazed, at Ross.]

Emily: Daddy-

Mr. Waltham: Get that American out of here!

Mrs. Waltham: Oh, sit down. We could use more butts like that in England.

[Mr. Geller jumps up.]

Mr. Geller: Now I resent that!

Mrs. Geller: Yes, my son's butt belongs in America!

Ross: Now settle down-

[Mr. Waltham and Geller make their way into the aisle and start fighting. Emily looks up at Ross.]

Mr. Waltham: My daughter shouldn't be marrying a crummy person like that who is that forgetful! [He glares at Rachel. Rachel shrugs her shoulders innocently.]

Mr. Geller: Well I'm sure your daughter is nothing special herself!

A guest from the Waltham side yells: Down with Americans!

Several more guests echo him: Down with Americans!

A guest from the Geller side yells: Down with fish and chip Englanders!

[Cut to Phoebe, on the phone in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]

Phoebe: (chanting) Down with Englishmen! Down with Englishmen!

[Cut to chapel.]

Chandler: (no one notices it's he who yells this) Fight! Fight! Fight!

[A big brawl begins in the aisle. Chandler grins and tugs at Monica's arm to follow him away. No one notices their departure.Emily's eyes fill with tears as she runs away from the altar.]

Ross: (nervously) Emily. Now, Emily...there's no reason to get so upset...

[Emily has disappeared into the crowd without looking back. Ross follows her path, the whole time shouting out her name. In all the commotion, Rachel is still sitting there, stunned.]

Opening Credits

[Scene: in a hallway outside the main room of the chapel. Ross is looking for Emily, calling out her name. Enter Joey.]

Joey: Phoebe told me to tell you that you should probably check the washroom, just in case. She said Emily might have - just MIGHT have -  gone through the window to be spiteful, as she put it.

Ross: Ohh, God. What have I DONE?

Joey: Ross. Listen to me! There's no time to worry about that.  Check the washroom!

Ross: I am just the stupidest, most inconsiderate guy on EARTH! How could I have hurt her like this?

Joey: Yo, Ross, the bathroom...never mind.

[Joey pushes Ross out of his way and shoves himself against the door. He does it once more, and the door flies open. A flustered middle-aged woman  comes out, muttering to herself and glaring at Joey.]

Joey: Whoops, sorry, ma'am.

[Ross presently comes to and stares at Joey.]

Ross: What were you doin', man? Isn't my wedding day ruined enough without  you being a sicko and breaking into the bathroom?

[Ross shakes his head angrily and walks away. Joey takes out the phone and speaks into it.]

Joey: Pheebs?

Phoebe: (V.O.) Did you tell him?

Joey: Er...kind of. Got any other ideas?

Phoebe: Find Chandler. He'll have an idea.

Joey: I haven't seen him since the big brawl started in the chapel.

Phoebe: Well what about Monica?

Joey: Nope, haven't seen her either. And Rachel's kind of fazed out at the moment.

Phoebe: Well try and find Emily! And while you're at it, look for Monica. I need to ask her something. Well hey, maybe you know. How do you get Fruitopia stains out of the couch?

[Scene: the chapel parking lot. Emily is sitting on the roof of a car, crying. Ross runs out of the church, looks around, and spotting Emily, runs over to her.]

Ross: Emily!

Emily: Leave me alone Ross. Don't you think you've done enough damage?

Ross: Please Emily. Give me a chance to explain. I wasn't the one who started the fight.

Emily: I know, I'm sorry. [Pauses] What're we going to do?

Ross: Let's postpone the wedding till tomorrow. If you still what to get married, that is?

Emily: Of course I do. Just one question, do you still love Rachel more than a friend?

[Rachel walks out in time to hear Emily's last question. Ross and Emily don't notice.]

Ross: Of course I love her. She's my best friend. But I'm not *in* love with her! I'm in love YOU, Emily!

[Camera moves back to Rachel, tears are streaming down her face. She backs away slowly, bumping into someone. She lets out a small scream. Turning around, she realizes that it's Joey. He pulls her into a hug. The camera goes back to Ross and Emily, they're staring at Rachel and Joey standing there in shock. Ross looks pained and Emily looks smug.]

[Scene: Monica's hotel room. She and Chandler are lying on the bed cuddling. There's a knock on the door.]

Chandler: Just a minute.

Monica: (whispering) You dimwit, this is MY hotel room!

Chandler: I mean (in a more feminine voice) Just a minute!

Monica: That's worse!

Joey: (V.O.) Who's in there? Is this Monica's room?

Chandler: (in his feminine voice) Er-Monica who?

Joey: Monica Geller. You!

[Chandler dives beneath the bed.]

Monica: Oh, Joey. Come on in.

[Enter Joey and Rachel. Rachel is still crying. Joey sits her down on the bed and turns to Monica.]

Joey: Do something about this!

Monica: Oh, Rach, why are you crying?

Rachel: Ross-Ross-

Joey: Rachel heard Ross say he's not in love with her anymore.

Monica: (nervously) Well, honey, we Gellers lie to please people. I'm sure he was just saying that to try to please someone. Who was he talking to?

Joey: Emily.

Monica: See? He wouldn't tell EMILY that he loves you, even though he DOES! Nothing to worry about! Bye-bye now!

Rachel: Bye?

Joey: Great, see ya later. [Joey leaves.]

Monica: Er, Rach. [She walks her to the door.] What you need to do is find Ross and talk to him. Talking always helps.

Rachel: I know. I want to talk to-

Monica: -Ross. Good luck! [She kicks her out the door (not literally.)]

[Scene: Ross and Emily's hotel room. The room is very dark. Rachel's sitting looking at a picture of herself and Ross from when they were together, which she found in his luggage. She sits there quietly on the bed. Ross enters the room. Rachel looks up, about to say something.]

Ross: Emily, thank God you're here!

[Rachel looks shocked and disgusted that Ross would think that she was Emily. Ross walks over too her and kisses her. She tries to draw away, but stops, realizing this is what she's always wanted.She leans into the kiss and once again the door opens and Emily walks in.]

Emily: Ross? Ross, are you here?

[She looks around and notices Ross kissing someone. She gasps and turns on the light.]

Ross: What, what?

[He looks up and notices Rachel.]

Ross: Rachel, what are you doing here? Where's Emily?

Emily: I'm right here Ross. Do you really think that little charade of oh, I don't know, pretending it didn't happen will work on me? I knew you were still in love with her!

Ross: I'm not pretending. Rach, what are you doing here? Besides Emmy, [He forgets that Rachel's still in the room.] I don't love her, I love you.

[Rachel, bursting into tears, jumps up and runs from the room.]

Ross: Emily, I thought she was you. Why would anyone but you be in here?

Emily: Don't worry about it. I forgive you this time. But you've just got to stay away from that girl!

[Ross is quiet a few moments. His face is unreadable.]

Ross: You know what? I think we should postpone our wedding and just go to Greece for a vacation, then think of what to do next! What do you think?

Emily: I think it's a great idea! When do we leave?

Ross: Tomorrow morning, same as everyone else.Monica's got the tickets. She didn't trust the rest of us with them.

Emily: Great! We better start packing.
 
Ross: Yeah, just let me tell Monica to look around for Rach.

Emily: That's a good idea. We wouldn't want her to do something stupid. [The camera moves in for a close up on Emily's face. She has on a little smile.]

[Scene: Monica's hotel room. Monica and Chandler are just lying on the bed quietly.]

Monica: We're going back to New York tomorrow.

Chandler: (like a little kid) Do we have to? [Monica laughs.] No, I mean it. I wish it could be like this forever.

Monica: Me too-I think. But what can we do? Can we be like this in New York?

Chandler: I don't know. No. Yes. I don't know.

Monica: Well do you want to?

Chandler: You're amazing. Really. It's just that I feel kind of guilty with Ross having all that trouble.

Monica: Ross ALWAYS has troubles! He's a depressed kinda guy. He THRIVES on depression. [She sits up and stares at Chandler in a kind of challenging way.]

Chandler: I guess so...

Monica: I can't help the way my brother is! Neither can you! And we can't help Rachel! TRUST me.

Chandler: Okay...[They start kissing happily. Enter Joey.]

Joey: Huh?

[Monica and Chandler jump away from each other.]

Monica: Chandler, what are YOU doing here?

Chandler: What are YOU doing here? Where's, uh...that...other girl...that I was...with.

[Joey gives them a suspicious look.]

Joey: Dude, what girl would be with YOU? Well, whatever. Anyway, you have to hear the news. Ross and Emily are postponing the wedding and just going to Greece. They'll decide from there what they're going to do.

Monica: (sarcastically happy) Great!

Chandler: Um, don't you have to be somewhere, Joe?

[Joey gives them another suspicious look as he shuts the door behind him.]

[Scene: at the airport. Monica is handing out the tickets.]

Monica: Joey, here's yours...Chandler, yours...oops, I mean, this one's yours.

Chandler: What?

Monica: (on the side to Chandler) Do you want to sit next to me or not?

Chandler: Oh! Of course this is my ticket!

[Monica inspects the last three tickets carefully before handing them out.]

Monica: Ross, this one's yours...Emily, and Rachel! There we go! Well, I guess we should board now.

Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom first. [Rachel walks away.]

Emily: I do as well. [She and Ross kiss, then she walks in the opposite direction Rachel does.]

Ross: Uh, Emily, the washrooms are that way.

Emily: No, I feel like going this way.

[Joey, Chandler, and Monica raise their eyebrows.]

Ross: Whatever you say, dear!

[Monica hugs Ross.]

Monica: I hope you have fun in Greece, Ross.

Ross: I will, thanks.

Monica: No I mean it. I think you'll have more fun than you bargained for!

Ross: Okay...well see you guys back in New York.

Chandler: Bye!

Joey: Have fun!

Monica: And when you come back...

[Ross walks through the gate and turns right.]

Monica: Well let's get going, people!

[Monica, Joey, and Chandler walk through the gate and turn left. Rachel comes running up with her carry on bag.]

A voice comes over the speakers: Flight 201 to New York, boarding now. Last call for Flight 361 to Greece. [The speaker continues to shout out more information.]

Rachel: Ohh no, I hope I don't miss the plane...[She shows her ticket to an attendent near the gate. The attendent points to the right.] Thanks!

[Rachel rushes on board. Emily rushes up to the attendent.]

Attendent: You're in luck. Your flight hasn't left yet. [She points to the  left, and Emily thanks her as she runs to the left.]

[Scene: Airplane. Ross is sitting by the window, with an empty seat beside him. He glances at his watch with a worried look then looks up. He worried look changes to shock.]

Ross: Rachel? I thought you were going to New York!

Rachel: Ross? I thought you were going to Greece!

Ross and Rachel: Oh My God!!!

[Scene: Plane. Chandler and Monica are sitting together, and Joey's sitting behind them. The plane starts moving.]

Joey: Um, guys? We're moving! Where's Rachel?

Monica: Most likely on the plane with Ross!

Chandler: Why would she be there?

Monica: Cos I switched her ticket with the one with Emily. Emily was supposed to be on the plane with us, but I guess she missed it. Oh well!

[Chandler and Joey high five with Monica.]

[Scene: Airport lobby. Emily is at the desk holding her credit card in  hand.]

Emily: Hi, I'd like a ticket to Athens, Greece.

Clerk: Will that be one-way or round trip?

Emily: Is it possible for me to book this as a one-way and book a one-way  ticket from Athens to New York?

[The clerk checks the computer.]

Clerk: Okay, it seems the next flight to Athens is two days from now, and  there's an opening on a flight from Athens to New York on the twenty-sixth. Will that be all right?

Emily: Yes, that'll be fine.

Clerk: All right, that's 150 pounds in all.

Emily: That's a good rate. [She hands her credit card to the clerk.]

Clerk: Yes, I agree. I'm going to Greece next month because of the  cheap rates.

[The clerk hands her the credit card, then the tickets.]

Clerk: Here are your tickets. Have fun!

Emily: Oh I will. More than you know.

[The clerk gives her a strange look as she walks away.]

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Monica are sitting, talking, on the couch.]

Chandler: Going to London was so fun.

Monica: Totally.

Chandler: Bummer about Ross's wedding, though.

Monica: Oh, it wasn't a total loss. He'll come back with what he REALLY wants, trust me.

Chandler: Are you sure I should trust you again? You said we wouldn't be able to help Rachel and Ross, and you did kind of help them...in a way.

Monica: Of course I did. And I helped us too, because there are two less people we have to deal with having around.

Chandler: Hm. You're right. In fact, with Rachel not around, you've got an empty apartment.

Monica: Lucky us.

[They start kissing and suddenly Monica pulls away.]

Monica: Oh-my-God.

Chandler: What is it?

[Monica jumps up and points to a big, red, sticky stain on the couch.]

Monica: (screaming) PHOEBE!!!!!

[Joey comes rushing in.]

Joey: What's wrong?

[Chandler gives Monica a look, and Monica grins sheepishly.]