Scene one-Monica and Rachel's apartment.  Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch looking through a baby names book.  Phoebe is out on the balcony and the camera is at an angle that we can see her out there talking to pigeons.  Joey bursts in.

JOEY: I just thought of something.  You should name the baby after me.  I mean, one of Phoebe's babies were named after Chandler, so why don't I get a baby?

MONICA: Joey, uh, what if the baby is a girl?

JOEY: So name it, um, Joey-safina.

    OPENING CREDITS

 Scene two-Monica and Rachel's apartment.  Where we left off.

MONICA: Joey, sweety, Joey-safina isn't a real name.

JOEY: So, um, name it (Pauses to think about what girl name is like Joey) Joy.  Name it Joy.

MONICA: Joy is a nice name.

RACHEL: What are you talking about?  Joy is a beautiful name.  Great thinking, Joey!

JOEY: I know!

MONICA: Joey, don't you have an audition today, like, right now?

JOEY: Oh crap!  Bye. (Rushes out)

MONICA: I better tell Chandler that Joey had a brainstorm and he missed it.

RACHEL: I'm gonna go read.

Monica and Rachel get up.  Rachel heads towards her room and Monica goes to the door.  When Monica gets there, there is a knock.

MONICA: (To Rachel, who has heard the knock and came out to see who it is) Who could that be?

Monica opens the door revealing Little John from Jesse.

JOHN: Hi.  My name's John.  Could I use your bathroom and phone to call my mom?

MONICA: Sure, its over there (Points to the bathroom).  Did you get separated from her in the big city?

JOHN: Yeah. (Goes to the bathroom before Monica can ask him anymore questions.

RACHEL: Well that was odd.

MONICA: Your tellin' me.

RACHEL: He's probably only a few years older than Ben.

ROSS: (Enters with Ben holding his hand) Hey you guys!

MONICA: Speak of the devil.

ROSS: (Pauses) Okay.  Did you guys remember you're watching Ben today?

RACHEL: Yeah!  Of course we did, right Mon?

MONICA: I remembered.  Rachel why don't you show Ben how to apply make-up in your room?

RACHEL: Okay. (To Ben) Lets go into my room Ben.

ROSS: Well, I gotta go. (Leaves and Chandler enters)

CHANDLER: Hey sweety. (Kisses Monica) How are you?

MONICA: Fine.

John comes out of the bathroom.

CHANDLER: (Does his classic double take) Whoa.  I thought it took 9 months to have a baby and a few more years to get as big as he is. Whatcha name him?

JOHN: (Sarcastically) Your funny.

CHANDLER: (Not getting the sarcasm) Thanks.

MONICA: Here's the phone, John. (She picks the phone up off the table and hands it to John)

JOHN: Thanks. (Starts dialing the phone)

CHANDLER: Who's he?

MONICA: All I know is that his name is John, he got separated from his mom in the city, and he is calling her now.

JOHN: (On phone) Hi, Mom? (Pause) I'm  fine.  Really. (Pause) I'm at some lady who let me in's house.  She has black hair and a pretty smile. (Pause) Yeah, a sarcastic guy who thinks he's funny. (Pause) Yeah, sure. (To Monica) She wants to talk to you. (Hands the phone to Monica)

MONICA: Okay. (Cut to split screen.  Monica is on the right side and Jesse (Played by Christina Applegate from Jesse) is on the left side) Hello?

JESSE: Hi.  I'm Jesse.  Johns my son.  Is he okay, like, physically?

MONICA: Yeah!  No scratches or anything.

JESSE: Could you give me your address so I can come pick him up?

MONICA: Yeah.  I live (I don't know their address so I will just leave it blank)

JESSE: Thank you so much.  Is it okay if I come right now?

MONICA: If you want to.  I mean, we're fine here.  You could come tomorrow if you want to.

JESSE: Really?  That would be so great, because my brother just knocked himself out with a lamp.

MONICA: Go ahead.  We'll be fine.

JESSE: Tell John to behave and I love him.

MONICA: Okay, bye.

JESSE: Bye and thanks again.

Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment.

CHANDLER: Okay.  What the hell was that?

MONICA: What?

CHANDLER: (To John) Could you leave for a minute?

MONICA: Go out to the balcony with the blond out there.  Her name is Phoebe.

JOHN: Okay. (Goes to the balcony with Phoebe)

CHANDLER: Why are you letting him stay here?

MONICA: Because!  His uncle knocked himself out with a lamp while I was talking to his mother and she couldn't come get him, so I said he could stay here.

CHANDLER: Hello?!  What about me?

MONICA: We can sleep in your apartment and John can sleep in my bed.

CHANDLER: I just don't think you should just take in a stranger's child because his uncle knocked himself out with a lamp.

MONICA: Are you worried I'll pay more attention to him?  Your jealous aren't you.

CHANDLER: No!  I'm worried you will want to keep him when his mom comes to get him.  I know how attached to kids you get.

MONICA: Don't worry.  The only child I want is your. (She pats her stomach and then kisses Chandler lightly on the lips) No worries?

CHANDLER: (Kisses her again) No worries.  (Looks out the window towards the balcony) Listen, we better save him.  Ugly Naked Guy is visiting his old neighbor who is also naked now, and their doing jumping jacks.

MONICA: (Looks out the window and crinkles her nose up) Ew!

    COMMERCIAL BREAK

Scene three-Monica and Rachel's apartment.  John is asleep on the couch.  Monica is also asleep.  She is leaning on Chandler's shoulder and John's head is on Monica's lap.  Chandler is stroking Monica's hair.  Ross enters.

ROSS: Hey.

CHANDLER: Shh.  They're asleep.

ROSS: (Quieter but not quite whispering) I came to get Ben.  Where is he?

CHANDLER: He and Rachel are in her room as far as I know.

ROSS: Thanks. (Goes into the room and comes out carrying a sleeping Ben and is followed by a sleepy Rachel)

ROSS: Thanks for watching Ben for me.

RACHEL: No problem.  We had lots of fun.

ROSS: Okay.  Bye you guys.

CHANDLER: Bye

RACHEL: (Makes a grunting noise and starts back to her room.  Ross exits)

MONICA: (Waking up and stretching) Morning, honey.

CHANDLER: Morning.

MONICA: (Looks up at him and gives him a kiss) Hi.

CHANDLER: Hey.

MONICA: (Looking around) Where am I?

CHANDLER: In your living room.

MONICA: Oh.  I better make breakfast. (Gets up carefully and rests John's head on the couch)

CHANDLER: Will you make pancakes?

MONICA: Sure.  Plain, blueberry, or chocolate chip.

CHANDLER: Plain.  I know for a fact, you don't have and blueberries and you know your the only sugar I need in one day. (Comes up behind her and kisses her neck)

MONICA: Chandler!  What if John wakes up?  What will you say we were doing.

CHADNLER: I'll tell him I'm a vampire that can come out in the day time.

MONICA: Right, like he'll believe that.  Get me the milk from the fridge.

CHANDLER: Yes, your highness.

Cut to Central Perk.  Everyone is there plus John.  Ross is in the chair on the right.  Chandler is on the end of the couch closest to Ross with Monica on his lap.  Phoebe is in the middle of the couch with John next to her.  Joey is on the arm of the couch and Rachel is in the chair on the left.

JOEY: So then what happened?

PHOEBE: So then, the guy said 'gumackaploo'.

RACHEL: And that means?

PHOEBE: I think he asked to use my bathroom.

RACHEL: Oh.  Then what?

PHOEBE: I screamed and slammed the door in his face.

ROSS: Okay, so when are your parents coming to pick you up, John?

JOHN: I don't know.  Sometime today.

MONICA: Yeah, that’s right.  We better go back to my apartment and wait for her.

Cut to apartment.  Everyone there in the same places as at Central Perk, except Rachel is at the kitchen table eating a muffin and Joey is missing.

CHANDLER: (To John) So who came with you to the city, other than your mom?

JOHN: My uncles, Darren and Junior, my mom's friends, Linda and Carrie, and Diego.

MONICA: Is Junior's name really 'Junior'?

JOHN: No, his name is John Jr.  I'm really John Jr. Jr.

RACHEL: So who's Diego?

JOHN: My mom's boyfriend.

RACHEL: Oh.

Joey comes out of the bathroom.  A knock is heard at the door.  Monica gets up and opens the door.  Jesse (Christina Applegate) is standing there with Diego (Bruno Campos), Linda, Darren, Junior, and Carrie (I don't know who they are played by).

MONICA: Hey!  Come in.

JESSE: Thanks.  I hope its okay I brought everyone.

MONICA: No problem!

JOHN: Mom!

JESSE: John!  Oh, baby.  Are you okay?

JOHN: I'm fine.  Really.  Monica and her friend took good care of me.

JESSE: Well that’s great to hear.  We better go.  I don't want to impose.

MONICA: No!  Come in.  Stay a while.

JESSE: Okay.  This is Diego, Darren, Junior, Linda, and Carrie. (She gestures to each as she says their name)

MONICA: Come on in!  This is Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross.

CARRIE: Chandler?

CHANDLER: Carrie? (Gets up) Oh, man!  Is that really you?

CARRIE: Yeah! (Gives him a hug) So how are you?

CHANDLER: Great!  Fine. (Monica lightly hits him in the shoulder) Married.

CARRIE: (Sort of surprised) Congratulations.

CHANDLER: Thanks.  Oh!  Guess what!

CARRIE: What?

CHANDLER: I'm a dad.  Well, almost. (Pats Monica's belly)

CARRIE: That’s great!  Do you know the gender yet?

MONICA: It's too early to tell.

JESSE: I would really love to stay, but we have to get back home tonight.  Thanks again for watching Little John for me.  I really appreciate it.  Here's my address.  Come visit us sometime.

MONICA: Thanks!  We'll do that.

CHANDLER: It was nice to see you again, Carrie.

CARRIE: You too, Chandler. (They all leave)

 Scene-four-Central Perk.  Everyone minus Joey and Phoebe are there. They all have cups of coffee.

MONICA: So how did you know Carrie?

CHANDLER: I dated her in college.  Remember, Ross?

ROSS: Yeah. (Laughs) She kicked your ass when you broke-up.

RACHEL: A girl kicked your ass.  Now why is that not hard to believe?

CHANDLER: Well I got her back by setting her up with Ross.

ROSS: What?  We had a lot of fun on our date.  We went out, like, five more times after that.  She complained the whole time about what a wimp you were.

RACHEL: I believe that too.