Hi I’m back (oh no run!) it’s been a while since my last fanfic. But see what happened was I started this one got to like the 10th page then realized it really, really, (how about really times a million) sux! So I started it over and now it’s really long well I hope you like it. What you need to know is everyone knows about Chandler and Monica. They’re getting married and having twins. Um no one else is involved at the moment. Oh and if I ever make fun of Minnesota or anything that’s cuz I’m from there so it’s okay.
Tell me what you think at - Richard.wilkerson@worldnet.att.net or keroppi@themoffatts.com enjoy the fanfic ?
Oh and I never wrote these on my other stories, but I don’t own these guys if I did…well that’s a whole other story on it’s own. (I swear I’m not crazy- however my friends may beg to differ)They belong to Bright, Kaufman, and Crane.
Hey does anyone know where I can find a 12 step program for obsession with Matthew Perry j/k my friends think I need major, major help!!!
 

 [JFK airport]

 (They’re all there waiting)

Chandler: now Ross do you remember what we’ve learned, you do not kiss your best friend’s mothers
Ross: hey Chandler do you remember that I’m letting you live so that you can be the father to my sister’s unborn children… but I don’t have to (gives Chandler and evil smirk)
Chandler: (as he dashes behind Monica) save me
Monica: all right children chill out or you’re both going to a time out
Ross and Chandler: (like little kids) yes Mon (you know like yes mom)
Chandler: (whispers to Ross) I can’t believe you got us in trouble
Rachel: what flight is your mom on Chandler?
P.A.: flight 602 from L.A. to New York now arriving at gate ‘D’
Chandler: what he said
Rachel: oh okay

 (They go to the gate)

Nora: Chandler! (Goes to him) how are you doing honey
Chandler: hi mom. I’m great
All: hi Mrs. Bing, hello, etc
Nora: hi guys (seductively) hello Ross
Ross: (at a loss for words) uh… I…
Nora: oh gee Ross I’m just playing with your head
Ross: (trying to play it off) ha, ha I totally knew that
Nora: yeah right. So Chandler what was it you had to tell me that was so important
Chandler: I’ll tell you when we get home
Nora: oh okay

 [Monica and Rachel’s]

 {Everyone but Nora and Chandler}

Rachel: so how do you like your mother-in-law-to-be
Monica: Rachel, I’ve known her forever I’ve always liked her. What are you talking about?
Phoebe: oh I get it. Ms. Bing has always been Ms. Bing to you but now she’s like…like…like
Joey: (helping her out) mother Bing
Rachel: yeah it’s totally different now
Monica: you guys are nuts nothing is going to change

 (Nora and Chandler enter)

Nora: hello all, Monica that’s a lovely blouse
Monica: thank you (whispers to Rachel) see there’s nothing to worry about
Rachel: (whispers back) that’s because he hasn’t told her yet
Nora: okay Chandler I want to know the important news. Tell me
Chandler: okay, okay… hold on just a sec. Mon can I talk to you for a minute (brings her to her room)
Monica: (they’re in her room) what is it
Chandler: I don’t know, I don’t know. I guess I’m just nervous you know
Monica: no I don’t know. What is it with you people I really don’t see how this (points to her and Chandler) is going to effect my relationship with your mother
Chandler: it won’t. Everything will be the same except we’ll be married and live happily ever after with our two, or more, beautiful  children. (Kisses her and a tear rolls down her cheek)
Monica: funny or not you always know the perfect thing to say (they kiss again)
Chandler: okay so we’re going to go out there and we’re going to tell her and we’re going to be one big happy family… to be
Monica: (with a few more tears) okay. Do you know how much I love you?
Chandler: (as he’s opening the door) no but why don’t you show me later (winks)
Monica: (pushing him out the door) Chandler!
Nora: what was that all about
Chandler: oh uh (Monica gives him the go ahead) I just had to talk to my fiancé for a minute
Nora: oh okay so what was… wha… what you…your fiancé? You? And… and… and Monica? (At first she has no facial expression then she looks disappointed but then changes again kinda like Rachel in TOW the Jellyfish when Ross said “it does”) that’s fantastic!
Chandler: really
Monica: you really like me
Nora: of course I like you honey why would you think other wise I’ve always liked you
Monica: well it’s because of these dorks saying stuff like “now that we’re going to become in-laws it changes everything”
Nora: well it does change one thing
Monica: (worried) what would that be
Nora: (pauses) I’m going to have a daughter finally! And Chandler couldn’t have picked anyone better
Monica: thank you that means so much to me
Chandler: that’s not all Mom
Monica: that’s right I am also pregnant
Nora: pregnant!? When is he or she due?
Monica: they are due the beginning of March
Nora: they? More than one
Rachel: (way too excited) they’re having twins! Oh this is so exciting, they’re having twins, and they’re getting married. (crying) and now I’m not going to have a roommate anymore
Monica: Rachel I’m sorry I didn’t mean to kick you out
Phoebe: (her way) ooh, ooh you could live with me!
Rachel: yeah okay Phoebe
Chandler: great then the kids can have Rachel’s room
Nora: (to Chandler and Monica) so how did you two get together
Ross: (for some reason has been quiet through this whole thing, well I didn’t need him) oh I just love listening to this story, it brings up such great memories
Monica: (ignoring his comment) well it was the night before Ross’ wedding, my mom was being a bitch as usual, and this drunk guy said something that hurt me. Then Chandler was there to comfort me, one thing lead to another and now six months later we’re getting married (I actually have *no* idea how long it has been)
Rachel: (teary eyed) isn’t that the cutest story you’ve ever heard
Nora: it sure was. Wait Ross got married? Well where is she?
Ross: (depressed) in London, we got a divorce
Nora: wasn’t that like six years ago (to Chandler and Monica) how long did you say you were together?
Ross: no, no I got married again… and divorced again
Nora: oh I’m so sorry
Rachel: hey do you guys want to go to the movies tonight?
All except Joey: yeah sure
Joey: actually I have a date with Kate tonight. Oh I forgot to tell you, she’s back this is so great!
Chandler: congratulations man (pats Joey on the back)
Monica: ooh Kate how long is she in town or is she back for good
Joey: I don’t know but I have to go and get ready

(He leaves)

Rachel: (whiney) aw everyone is going to find love but me… I’m goin to sulk in my room for a while

 (She leaves)

Ross: yeah and I have to do go get something
Phoebe: I have to go too, (to Ross) I’ll walk out with you
Ross: okay

 (They leave)

Monica: so Mrs. Bing…
Nora: oh please call me mom now
Monica: okay well Mom how is your new book going
Nora: oh it’s going great

 (Ross and Phoebe run in out of breath, Chandler is startled and drops the sandwich he just pulled out of the fridge)

Chandler: (looks at his sandwich) I was going to eat that
Monica: what’s going on?
Ross/Phoebe: they… they’re
Chandler: you know this isn’t working, try breathing it’s great
Ross: (calming down) Central Perk has been sold!
Chandler/Monica: what!
Phoebe: yeah there are signs and everything (holding one up)
Monica: (reading the flyer) “in three weeks Central Perk will officially have a new owner. This may mean major changes. Such as: higher or lower prices, food, or if it shall be a café at all”
Chandler: they can’t do that who’s the new owner
Phoebe: Gunther said he didn’t know, but he knows the guy isn’t from around here
Monica: this sucks (you know in the real show they probably wouldn’t care that much but don’t worry this *is* leading somewhere)
Nora: you know I could probably pull some strings and find out who he is
Ross: yeah because if Central Perk isn’t there anymore where are we going to hang out
Chandler: somewhere else
All: gasp! (Like how could you say such a thing)
Chandler: well maybe this is the change that we need you know. Monica and I getting married, having kids, and finding a knew hang out
Ross: I guess you’re right. I still have to go get that thing

 (Ross leaves)

Monica: Pheebs didn’t you say you had to do something too
Phoebe: oh yeah I have to… do something. Bye!

 (she leaves)

Monica: that was really weird what’s with the secrecy
Chandler: don’t worry it’s Phoebe, she’s always weird
Nora: well I’ve got to get going too see you later
Chandler/Monica: bye, love you, etc

 (Nora leaves)

Chandler: so… we’re alone what do you want to do (comes closer to her)
Monica: I want to… eat! I’m so hungry (getting food) and besides we’re not alone, Rachel is in her room remember
Rachel: (exiting her room) hi, bye (leaving the apartment)
Chandler: (confused from Rachel leaving so abruptly) okay! So *now* we’re alone
Monica: yes we are (kisses him)

 [Joey and Kate in a nice restaurant]

Kate: Joey, it’s so great to see you again
Joey: yeah I know. It’s been three years
Kate: I really regretted running out on you
Joey: you know I never forgot about you, Kate I know that we haven’t seen each other for three years, and this is our first official date, but we’re great together. Would you move in with me when Chandler moves in with Monica?
Kate: Joey! Are you crazy? This is way too fast, like you said this is only our first date and now you want to live together?
Joey: you’re right, I’m sorry. So do you want to go out again next week?
Kate: yeah I’d like that

 [Central Perk]

 {Phoebe and Rachel are there}

Rachel: of course they suspect something I left really weird
Phoebe: okay. So we have to invite, Gunther, Doug, Monica’s parents
Rachel: hey Gunther do you…
Gunther: yes
Rachel: you didn’t even hear what I was going to ask you
Gunther: I don’t care, I’ll do it
Rachel: (after he leaves) Gunther scares me

 (Chandler and Monica walk in)

Monica: hey you guys
Chandler: so anymore news on the new owner
Phoebe: no
Monica: you know if I owned this place I’d make it into a family restaurant with a little café in the front
Rachel: that would be so cool
Monica: yeah like that would ever happen though
Rachel: it could happen
Chandler: you sound like a McDonald’s commercial
Rachel: shut up

  (Nora enters with a weird (I know I use that word too much but I like it) look on her face)

Chandler: hey mom, what’s up
Nora: I just found out who the new owner of Central Perk is
Monica: that’s great. Who?
Nora: well his name is John, he’s from Las Vegas, and he and I have a past, which includes a son
Chandler: but I’m an only chi… wait! John! As in John Bing, Dad! (See I told you all that Central Perk stuff was leading somewhere)
Nora: yes, he ran into a lot of money and moved out here to start up a business
Rachel: do you know what he is going to do with this place
Nora: nope, I haven’t really talked to him since we got a divorce
Chandler: so is he in New York now
Nora: no, but he will be tomorrow
Monica: really
Nora: yeah he’s moving his stuff here and he has to settle a few more things
Monica: that’s great Chandler, we’re finally going to meet your dad

  (Nora and Chandler both get a disappointed look on their faces)

Monica: what, what’s wrong
Chandler: nothing. It’s just the thought of seeing my father again

 (Joey and Kate enter holding hands)

Phoebe: hey guys how was dinner
Kate: it was great

 (Ross enters with a new hair-do… … IT’S BLONDE!)

Ross: hello all
All: (laughing uncontrollably) oh my god, what the hell, etc.
Ross: what you don’t like my new hair-do. I think its hip
Monica: w… why did you do that
Chandler: isn’t it a little early for you to be going through a mid-life crisis
Ross: I’m not going through a mid-life crisis, I just wanted to do something different (I just had to do something stupid with Ross, he’s too boring)
Rachel: you know you remind me of someone (right on cue Gunther comes by to pick up an empty cup. His hair is almost the same)
All: (they start laughing again)
Ross: okay are we done
Phoebe: yeah sure Ricky Martin (if you didn’t know Ricky dyed his hair blonde and it looks really bad. If you like it sorry)
All: ha, ha, ha (you get the point)
Ross: oh you are so mature… yeah well I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you
Chandler: oh uh-huh and…(sees something) OH MY GOD!
Ross: you know that wasn’t the smart-ass response I was expecting, but I guess I can’t complain
Monica: Chandler, Chandler what’s wrong
Chandler: (no response)
Monica: HEY! Wake up! (Snaps her fingers)
Chandler: (startled) huh! What?
Monica: what’s wrong
Chandler: I um kinda just saw… mom where did you say dad was moving to
Nora: I don’t know. Why?
Chandler: (getting up to look out the window) because number one he’s not in Las Vegas. And number two HE’S CARRYING BOXES INTO OUR BUILDING!!!
Nora: what!?
Chandler: I’ll be right back (runs out the door)

 [The street in front of Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Rachel’s apartment building]

 {Chandler runs up to a guy holding a box played by John Bennett Perry} (and if you were a total FRIENDS freak you would know that he did play Joshua’s dad in TOW Rachel’s New Dress. But just don’t pay attention to that ~ He is Matthew Perry’s dad in real life)

Chandler: (his dad can’t see him because of the box) hi, you can’t move in here
John: (not moving the box) why not I’m paying rent
Chandler: um you can’t move in because, because uh…(desperate) no single gay men aloud
John: I’m not single
Chandler: well no gay men aloud
John: well I’m not gay my wife and daughter is moving in with me
Chandler: what!

 (Nora walks up to Chandler)

Nora: Chandler, wait what are you…oh my
John: Chandler? I know that name, and I know that voice (puts the box down) Nora!?
Nora: hello John
John: and, and, and, and, this is my little boy Chandler!
Chandler: (still in shock of the news of his father’s sexual preference) w…w…w…wiffffffffe and-and-and-and-and d…d…d…daughterrrrrrrr? Um I’ll be right back (walks into the alley) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Nora: (very upset) wife and daughter! You have a wife and daughter! Isn’t that the opposite of being gay
John: let me explain…
Nora: that’s okay (runs back upstairs) Chandler come on (he follows her)

  To be contin…you thought I would actually leave you hanging I’m not that mean. (Even tough I did do that in my other fanfics…I’m sorry)

 NEXT DAY

 [Monica and Rachel’s but with a few boxes around]
 {Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there at the table}

Monica: so now your dad, stepmother, and half-sister are going to be living somewhere below us
Chandler: yeah I know it’s a little extreme
Rachel: and he now owns Central Perk
Chandler: which makes it soooo much harder to avoid him
Monica:  I don’t think you ARE supposed to avoid him
Chandler: (like a little kid) but I want to
Monica: (comforting him) aw poor baby

 (Kate and Joey walk in holding hands)

 {Joey has a big grin}

Joey: good morning everyone
Chandler: you’re too happy go away
Joey: what’s wrong with him
Rachel: he’s just upset about his dad
Joey: oh, well I’m going out to find a new roommate today. Here look at my flyer (pulls a piece of paper from his pocket)
Rachel: (reading) “hey guess what! Dr. Drake Ramoray isn’t really dead. Now how would you like to live with him Call 555-6210
Monica: Joey that’s our number
Joey: yeah I know. That way you can see if any of them are psychos like that chic Erica
Monica: we’re not doing that
Joey: aw come on pleeeeeeeeeease
Monica/Chandler: NO!!!
Kate: come on Joey, let’s go make you another flyer
All: bye, see ya, etc
Kate: Chandler feel better

(they leave)

Rachel: they really are cute together, well I have to go to work. Good bye all
Monica: bye
Chandler: eh
Rachel: I’ll miss you too Chandler

 (she leaves)

Monica: do you think about what if Ross and Rachel got back together, but forever this time
Chandler: that would be great

 (There’s a knock at the door- Monica answers It. it’s a strange woman with a little girl)

Monica: hi, can I help you
Woman: hi. I’m Alex  (Alex as in Alexandra)  and this is Nicole we just moved in downstairs and our phone isn’t hooked up yet, can I use yours. (If you wanna know why I chose those names is cuz, Matthew Perry’s character’s name in Fools Rush In is Alex Whitman, and in the up coming movie The Whole Nine Yards his name is Nick “Oz” something.)
Monica: oh sure come in
Nicole: thank you

 (Chandler pulls Monica aside)

Chandler: that’s her I know it she’s my step mom
Monica: who Alex?
Chandler: (sarcastically) no Julia Roberts (that was just the first name that came to me and she was in the movie ‘Step Mom’) yes Alex
Monica: are you sure
Chandler: come on she just moved in downstairs and she has a little girl
Monica: okay but do you think she knows who you are
Chandler: I don’t know
Monica: (to Alex) what apartment did you say you just moved into
Alex: oh apartment number 16
Monica: I see do you know John Bing?
Alex: yes he’s my husband, why
Monica: uh no reason just that…
Chandler: just that… surprise! I’m your stepson Chandler
Alex: excuse me I think I need to sit down
Nicole: so you’re like my big brother
Chandler: yeah
Nicole: cool I’ve never had a brother before
Chandler: well it’s nice to meet you Nicole how old are you
Nicole: I’m 13 years old. Oh and call me Nic
Chandler: well I’m Chandler, as I’ve already said and this is me fiancé Monica
Nicole: wow so I’m going to have a like sister too
Monica: yep, hi
Chandler: so Nicole judging by your reaction I don’t think my dad told you about me
Alex: well he did mention you a few times he just didn’t tell me that we would be living below you
Monica: actually Chandler AND John didn’t even know until last night
Chandler: do you guys really own Central Perk now
Alex: yes why
Chandler: well because we…

  (Phoebe enters)

Phoebe: hey do you guys wanna get coffee, I was just there
Chandler: (to Alex) that’s kinda why
Monica: we love that place
Phoebe: (to Alex) oh hi I’m Phoebe
Alex: I’m Alex
Chandler: this is my stepmother and that’s (points to Nic) my baby sis
Phoebe: okay did I miss something since when did you have a stepmother and a sister
Monica: since about 8:00 this morning. Oh my god I’m late I have to get to the restaurant
Chandler: good bye sweetie (quick kiss)
Monica: Alex it was nice to meet you
Alex: you too
Monica: bye oh and Pheebs I’ll catch you later about that coffee

 (quickly slips out before Chandler could say anything)

Chandler: (thought about how Monica can’t have coffee) hey (opens the door and yells) you know you can’t have coffee!
Monica: (off screen) aw man ?
Chandler: (laughs) was I this bad when I quit smoking
Phoebe: yes
Alex: well we must be off, lot’s of things to do
Chandler: okay so I’ll see you around
Alex: yes good bye, see you too Phoebe
Nicole: bye

 (they leave)

Chandler: well that was better than I expected it would be

 [Cut to Rachel at work ~ at her desk on the computer]

Rachel: (typing ~ she should be working but isn’t so she’s in a chat room this means she’s typing) hello
Langford: (I like that name because it’s Matthew Perry’s middle name) how are you today
Rachel: okay I guess, how about you
Langford: I’m doing better than yesterday. Say what are you doing on Saturday?
Rachel: uh…I’m throwing a surprise party for my two friends, who are getting married, would you like to come
Langford: sure sounds like fun
Rachel: okay, do you know where Central Perk in the Village is?
Langford: yes I don’t live that far away from it actually
Rachel: really? That’s great

 [Cut to Chandler and Joey’s apartment]

 {Kate and Joey are there}

Kate: hey I was thinking about what you said. About us being together, living together, and I know this is exactly the opposite thing than what I said yesterday, but I think I would enjoy living with you
Joey: (practically skipping around the room) yes, yes (calms down) Kate, I have to tell you something…I, I love you (now who would of thought that Joey would ever say those three wonderful words)
Kate: oh Joey. I love you too! I’m sorry again for leaving you
Joey: forgiven, forgotten

 (they kiss)

 [Cut to Monica at the restaurant]

 {The restaurant isn’t too busy, there’s a hand full of people. Monica is alone at a table on her break}

Monica: (to a co-worker) hey Angie
Angie: yes
Monica: could you do me a favor and get me a cof…(stops herself) water
Angie: yeah sure
Monica: thanks

 (Nora enters)

Monica: (a little surprised) Nora, hi
Nora: oh hello Monica
Monica: what are you doing here
Nora: well I had nothing to do for a while and I haven’t had lunch yet so I decided to come and see you
Monica: oh, well I just went on my break
Nora: so I’m guessing Chandler told you about his dad and step mom and everything
Monica: yes how are you holding up
Nora: oh I’m fine don’t worry about me
Angie: (bringing Monica’s water) here you go Mon
Monica: thanks. Oh Nora did you want anything I could whip something up, it’d be on the house
Nora: uh not right now thanks
Monica: oh okay I need to get back to work
Nora: oh no you’re not you didn’t even eat anything and that’s not healthy
Monica: oh all right. (she gets up to get food) ouch! (clutches her stomach)
Nora: oh my god! Are you okay (goes to Monica)
Monica: yeah, yeah I just…ouch!
Nora: that’s it I’m taking you to the hospital
Monica: sounds good

 [A hospital waiting room]

 {Nora is waiting, Chandler and everyone else comes running in}

Chandler: (hysterical) where is she, where is she! Why isn’t anyone answering me!!!
Nora: (calming him down) Chandler, Chandler honey she’s going to be fine. Okay Monica is in that room right there (points) you can go in and see her
Chandler: (runs to the room) thanks mom

 [Inside the hospital room]

 {Monica is resting in a bed and has an IV hooked up to her}

Chandler: (walking in talking softly) Monica? Honey are you okay?
Monica: (opening her eyes) hi. Yeah I’m fine. I’m just tired that’s all
Chandler: (by her bed) oh thank god I was so worried. So is everything and everyone okay, you, the babies…
Monica: yes, yes, we’re all fine and doing well. Thanks to your mother, she’s the one who brought me in here
Chandler: I know, do you want to see her she’s right outside the door along with all the others
Monica: sure but not all of them at once, I don’t know if I can handle that many visitors right now
Chandler: okay I’ll get them (gets up and goes out the door)
Nora: (entering) hey sweetie how are you doing
Monica: good, good I just wanted to thank you for bringing me here (hugs Nora)
Nora: you’re welcome. You need to get some rest, the doctor said you need to stay over night
Monica: all right. Can you send Chandler back in?
Nora: (exiting) sure thing

 [back in the waiting room]

Nora: Chandler, she wants to see you again, but the rest of us should go because she needs her rest
All: okay, Chandler tell her hi, we love her, etc.
Chandler: all right, goodnight everyone

 [Monica’s hospital room]

 {Chandler enters and sits in a chair next to her bed}

Chandler: I’m going to stay here all night with you
Monica: thank you so much, I love you

 (they both go to sleep ~ Chandler is in the chair)

  THE END

I was going to make it a WHOLE lot longer but I decided to write another one.