SCENE: CP, Joey and Phoebe are there when Chandler and Monica walk in.
Joey: hey guys, did you have a nice time last night ??
Mon: (dissappointed) no....it sucked...the whole evening Ross went on about the dinosaur displays, Rachel fell asleep, and when Ross ahd finished no one spoke for ages...
Phoe: no one......why.what was wrong ??
Mon: Chandler's lost his voice
Phoe: oh that explains it..he normally talks way too much
(chandler looks over at her angrily...)
Chan: a............a........e......
Phoe: sorry can't here you....
Joey: hey....this will be kinda nice for a couple of days.......no jokes for a while
Chan (shoots a sarcastic smirk at Joey)
(Rachel enters..looking very very tired....she sits on the couch next to
Chandler and Monica....and closes her eyes immediately)
Mon: Rach, don't you have work today ??
Rach: no..........need..........sleep........
Joey: someone's been buisy all night......Ross gets all the luck
Rach: no...no.....no......i just can't sleep
Joey: Ross snores ?? I totally understand, I snore so loud I sometimes disturb myself.....no wonder Chandler became a nervous wreck for six years !!
Chan: a.....ah..... (gives up and shoots another fed up look at Joey, who throws him a packet of throat sweets in reply)
Rach: Ross doesn't snore...
Mon: oh....good, at least he's grown out of soemthing................so....er..Rach...what are you gonna do today ?? why don't you try to get some kip ?
Rach: because it's my day off, I hardly ever take a day off, I wanna enjoy it.
Mon: even if you are exhausted ??
Rach: yeah........perhaps I'll hang around with you and Mr silent today
(Chandler smirks at Rachel)
Mon: yeah.....we can go shopping........and I can get a new coat..I really
need a new one..and then we can go to that nice new restaurant on the hill....and then we can........ (she stops as she sees Rachel has fallen asleep)
(whispers) Mon: well, that lasted long. Phoebe what are you doing ??
(whispers)Phoe: I got a massage client soon, but I'd love to go shopping
(whispers)Mon: Joey wanna join us ??
(whispers) Joey: no way....shopping's not very manly.....I'm going to my ping pong club.
Mon: you've taken up ping pong ??
Joey: yeah......best sport ever....perhaps Chandler wants to come ??
(chandler nods..)
Mon: no......we're going shopping remember.........
(Monica gets up, dragging Chandler with her........)
chan: n......n.......n.....(in an attempt to protest..but gives up)
SCENE: C+M's flat, everyone is there except Phoebe and Joey.
Rachel is asleep on the couch, Chandler, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table.
Ross: Chandler.....try these extra strong ones.....they'll bring back your voice.... ( Ross hands him a packet marked xxxxxxxx chandler puts a sweet in his mouth.....his face turns in horror and he runs towards the sink, spitting it out)
Mon: er...those are the ones that would be as effective at clearing out drains !!
Ross: er....ok.............so anyway, I invited you two and mum and dad for a meal at our place tommorrow night.
Mon: But Rachel is so tired....are you sure you wanna cook >?
Ross: is that an offer ??
Mon: yeah...ok.......We'll come around at 7, ok
( Joey enters.....with a table tennis bat)
Joey: hi folks.....I finally found something I was good at.... well.........other than getting women,...........ping pong.....I'll be able to beat everyone at it, even you Monica, cos it's the most manly sport there is.
SILENCE
(it's obvious Chandler is trying to say a joke...and failing)
Joey: that was wierd..I was kinda expecting someone to joke about me.
Ross: that someone decides to go loose their voice just when we need to entertain our parents (looks at Chandler).
Joey: oh...having the folks round huh ?? sounds like fun, well would love to join you, but I have ping pong tournameny to get on with....
Ross: ping pong....ha.........last I time I played that, it was with Phoebe, and she quit after 5 minutes
Mon: Why ??
Ross: said it was hurting the ball too much !!!
Joey: wasn't it cos you got a black eye in the shape of a ping pong ??
Ross: no...that was Chandler !!
Joey: ha ha ha ... (another evil look from Chandler to Joey)
FADE OUT TO: SCENE Sports Centre, Joey is all geared up with over the top protection clothes......he looks a complately wierdo with protection clothes, and lots of padding !! He sits next to a normal guy
Man: er..I think the football practise is on tuesdays....
Joey: what ?? no..I'm here for the ping pong tournament.
Man: oh...then why are you wearing all that padding ??
Joey: protection.....don't wanna get hurt........violent, dangeous game
Man: are you sure you haven't got it mixed up with Rugby or hockey or
something ??
Joey: no no....last time I played, my friend came back with a black eye.
Man: oh.....perhaps he got Ping Pong Rage ??
Joey: no....he's just a bit of a wuss....
Man: have you played before ??
Joey: err.....nope......but I'm prepared.....thats always been my motto,
but...er.....exactly how dangerous does it get ??
Man: You know Badminton ??
Joey: right... yeah...(he doesn't) very blood thirsty
Man: almost as dangerous as that !
SCENE FADE OUT TO: Ross and Rachel's pad (remember...this used to be Ugly Naked Guys ! Jack, Judy, Chandler, Monica, Ross and Rachel are there. Rachel looks half awake, Monica is buisy cooking, Ross is trying to maintain a healthy converstaion with his parents.
Ross: so the fossils they found in perfect condition, match those found in Australia too
Jack: really ?? well....that's er........interesting.....
Judy: Monica, is it ready yet ?? (yells towards the kitchen)
(from outside..Mon:"nearly nearly.....just sorting out Ross' messy kitchen")
Ross: Messy ? Rachel was supposed to clean it last....
Rach: er.....yeah............clean...kitchen..right... (from outside..."Rachel never cleans....")
Rach: (sleepily) maybe once.....or.....twice.....
Jack: so....er..Chandler...how's you job ??
(Chandler looks nervously at Ross)
Ross: he's lost his voice.....
Judy: oh...dear....well, try this then
(hands chandler a throat sweet, which makes him run to the kitchen and spit down the sink in disgust (unnoticed)
Judy: So, Rachel how's life going for you ??
Rach: tiring.....very tiring.........
Judy: oh......ok..........so.....er..Ross....anymore dinosaur news ??
SILENCE
Ross: excuse me a sec
( Ross gets up and goes towards kitchen where Monica is, as Chandler sits back down)
SCENE: KITCHEN, Monica and Ross are there
Ross: Mon, we need fresh troops out there, Rachel is as tired as anything and Chandler makes as much sound as the TV on mute.
Mon: well, I have the soup ready.......i'll bring it in.
Ross: good.......that oughta liven things up a little. Wat soup is it ??
Mon: carrot and aubergine
Ross: eugh !!!! gross !!
SCENE: Joey and Phoebe's. Phoebe is sitting in a chair watching TV. Joey walks in.
Joey: hey Pheebs !!
Phoe: oh hey ......how was the match ??
Joey: table tennis wasn't what I thought it was.......and I was terrible at it anyway.....when the other player hit the ball at me, I tried to catch it, and by accident through the bat right at him by mistake.
Phoe: that game is darn right nasty............
Joey: well, someone asked me to play polo with them...and that's a really manly sport..............so what was your day like ??
Phoe: difficuilt, one of my clients was over active..and couldn't stop jumping up and down...I couldn't give him a massage properly. I went to my herbal friend, and picked up some recipes to get Chandler's voice back.
Joey: do we really want that ??
Phoe: course......we can't live in silence forever.....imagine what it's like at the dinner table now at Ross and Rachel's......................................
FADE TO: Ross and Rachels, everyone including Judy and Jack are sitting around the table (except Joey and Phoebe)
SILENCE
Judy: soup was er.....tasty...... (passes her full bowl to Jack)
SILENCE
Jack: er....i like the carrots......we should eat more carrots , and
er....Judy......more carrots......thats my resoloution !!
(passes his bowl to Ross)
SILENCE
Ross: yes..... (gives a painful look at Monica).......so.......er....you like Carrots don't you Rachel ? (passes his bowl to Rachel, who shoves it to Chandler)
Rachel (who's starting to drop off......) mmph........... Judy (whispers to Ross) is she on drugs ??
Ross: Mum !!! no..she just has lots of work problems right now......
SILENCE
Judy: ok...sorry
(chandler now has three bowls of soup infront of, he pulls a painful look at Ross, catches Monica's smile..and pretends to be enjoying it)
SILENCE
Judy: so..........er....Monica, how's the restaurant ??
Mon: buisy.........there was tons of left-over aubergines at the restaurant, so I thought I'd share it with you guys tonight.
Ross: mm.....nice....Monica...
Chan: (coughs) you know,...hmph..hmph..... I think it could do with having less of them in it though Mon !
Mon: your voice is back !!!!!
Chan: It is ??
Ross: yeah..you're all better......
Mon: I wish we could say so much for Rachel, she's fallen asleep
Jack: poor girl.....
Judy: you should let her sleep. Rachel ??
Rach: mmph ??
Judy: I think we'll be going
Mon: but mum, i've still got the aubergive stew to go.....
Judy: honey...Rachel's tired, Ross looks it too, I'm sure we can have it tommorrow night.......
Ross: yeah, we'll all come around your tommorrow night, and I'll cook this time.....
Mon: ok.....
Fade to: outside Chandler and Monica's. Monica is holding a massive dish of something. Chandler has a smile on his face,
Mon: it's noce to hear you again
Chan: it's nice to be heard !!.....(coughs)....a.......e........
Mon: not again !!
SILENCE
Mon: well, I got a present for you .......I have a portion for six people of aubergine stew for me and you tonight.....
Chan:......a.......ah........ah.......
Mon: don't worry..I think Joey will be able to help us.....
(enter their appartement)
(Joey's door opens and he comes out holding a crochet (pronounced crockay) stick)
Joey: did anyone mention my name ??
THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
comments ?? ok this one wasn't very good, but I'm bored, its the holidays
and I just thought I'd give fanfic writing another go. Comments ?? but
not too nasty to: chelsea@royal.net
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------