LOVERS 2 TOW all the Shakespeare
by: Helena

I have not planned many future episodes, but i want to do as many as possible. The situation is: NO one is married, Joey now lives with Phoebe (I haven't decided if they get together yet, but at the moment they are just friends). They live accross the hall from the couple of Monica and Chandler, who live accross the street from the couple of Ross and Rachel.
SCENE: Central Perk. Everyone except Joey + Ross are there)
Rach: guys, I've been racking my brains all day trying to decide what to get ross for his birthday !!!

Phoe: ooh....I know...what about a cuddley-toy dinosaur ??

Mon: that's more of a present for Ben, though Pheebs

Chan: or just Joey !!

Rach: I want it to be special, but I bought everything romantic when we were going out last time

Phoe: why don't all us girls go shopping and choose something nice

Mon: I would if I could, but I won't cosI can't

Rach: what ??

Chan: me and Mon are going ice-skating, I'm gonna help her !!

Mon: I need it !!!

Chan: well come on then..lets go hire some skates......and go to the ice rink !!

Mon: ok..bye guys !!

(C+M exit)

Phoe: I went skating once, when I was with Duncan, the skater.

Rach: Duncan ??

Phoe: you know, my ex husband.

Rach: do you still see him ??

Phoe: no...i didn;t really wanna, i loved him, but then I found out he was straight.

Rach: you just can''t tell these days....

(Joey enters)

Joey: Yippeee !!!!

Rach: someone got lucky !!

Joey: yahooo !!! sure did

Phoe: well, who then ?? I didn't hear her !! who ??

Joey: me !!!

rach: Joey, you're not a girl !!

Joey: i know.....but i got the lead in that play...I'm Romeo !!!

Phoe: wow !!

Rach: I thought that other guy got it, and you were just a spare ??

Joey: well, I was ..until he fell off a blacony and went into a coma

Phoe: he ok ??

Joey: yeah.....but the point is, I'm gonna star in a famous play !!

Rach: well done, we knew you'd be famous one might end up on Broadway !!

Joey: so ?? I've been there before

Phoe: and I've slept there

Rach: no..I meant in a musical

Joey: yeah....but I can't sing

Phoe: oh..yeah..thats why I take ear plugs to Karaoke nights !!!

FADE TO: C+M at the ice rink. Chandler is on the ice, showing off, whilst Monica is gingerly holding on at the side

Mon: wow, I thought you were clumsy !!

Chan: thanks..but please come and join me !!!

Mon: I don't know..I couldn't skate at that restaurant, how on earth could I ice-skate

Chan: please ?? let go of the side, gently come towards me !!!

Mon: I actually prefer terra firma....oh..ok........but

(she lets go..and glides towards Chandler)

Mon: I'm doing it Chandler, I'm ice -skating......

(she looses her balance, and come straight towards Chandler skidding)

MoN: ARHHHH !!!!

Chan: owwww

(they land on top of each other on the ice)

FADE TO: R+Rs, both sitting on the couch.

Ross: I can't believe, this year has gone by so quickly, Tommorrow I'll be a whole year older !!!

Rach: that;'s generally what happens on birthdays honey !!

Ross: I know, but this time I get to celebrate it with you again !!

Rach: arhhhh....but i was there last year

Ross: just as a we kind of do more stuff again.....

Rach: I know.....we'll have to make tommorrow extra special then (kissing him)

Ross: why wait til then ???

(things get a little steamier (not much), until the phone suddenly rings)

Ross on the phone: hallo ???......oh god.......are they ok ??........ok....yes......thank goodness......we'll be right over....

FADE OUT TO: C+Ms, everyone is there. Chandler has his foot in plaster and is lying on the couch, next to Monica, rthe others are spaced around the room.

Rach: so what did the hospital say ??

Mon: they said it would take two to three months

Joey: does it hurt ???

Chan: yeah....a bit.....but not now...

Mon: Chandler..again I'm so sorry...

Chan: that's wasn;t your fault..I made you come out on the ice !!

Mon: ok....well then I forgive you (they kiss quickly)

Joey: so I have another major rehearsal tommorrow

Ross: oh yeah, good luck with that..

Joey: thanks...and I hope you have a great birthday. I'm really nervous about the play those "thees" and "thous" and "thys".....kinda wierd !!!

Rach: you'll be fine... want us to help ??

Joey: could you ?? I need someone to read Juliette

Phoe: ME !!

Joey: Rachel ?? can you help me tonight ?

Rach: I'm sorry..I promissed a special pre-birthday evening for Ross

Phoe: me !! me me !!

Joey: Monica ??

Mon: I would...but I gotta look after cripple here !!

Chan: hey !!!

.Mon: you said we could play doctors and nurses

Chan: Oh.......i guess that's oK !!!

Joey: so I guess you can't then Chan ??

Chan: I'm sorry Joe..I'm with Mon..and I would never play Juliette

Phoe: what about me ??

Joey: ok.....that's great Pheebs....but can you read Shakesperian's very different

Phoe: don't worry, one of my past lives was around that era !!

FADE OUT to: R+Rs. They are sitting together

Rach : so Ross, for this extra special biryday, what would you like ??

Ross: you haven't got it yet

Rach: no....cos it's so special i don;t want to ruin it

Ross: can;t it be a suprise ??

Rach: no...what would you like ??

Ross: er....I guess a dinosaur tie..

Rach: Ross, you have about 5 of those already

Ross: so ??

rach: well, it's just their a bit nerdy

Ross; They're not, and they are way cooler than Chandler and Joey's matching "Beavis and Butthead" ties

Rach: good point !!

FADE OUT TO: J+Ps flat. J+P are there !!

Phoe: Romeo, Romeo.,...where the hell is my Romeo ??

Joey: Pheebs, that's not the line

Phoe; hey..let me add some feminism... and what is it anyway ??

Joey: Romeo, Romeo, wherfore art thou Romeo ??

Phoe: hey...that's my line

Joey: I know that..but i was telling you what it read

Phoe: i can read you know, I'm just tired of this difficuilt english...I think my previous life was a few centuaries later than I first imagined

Joey: oh..well imagine you are speaking like Emily then

Phoe: Emily ?? she didn;t speak at all like this.

Joey: oh..then who speaks like this apart from Mr Shakespeare ??

Phoe: no one..he died almost 4 hundred years ago.

Joey:'s an old play then !! ok..I gettit, I've had enough practising for today. .why canst we not orderest a pizza and some beer, my lady ??

Phoe: you betcha Romeo!!

FADE OUT to: C+Ms. Chandler and Monica are lying on the couch asleep. Chandler suddenly awakes....and tries to avoid waking Monica when he sits up. but it's difficuilt cos his leg is put in plaster. He sits up and Monica wakes

Mon; chandler, what are you doing ??

Chan: er....

Mon; do you need soemthing ?? some water ?? some coffee ?? tea ?? a paper ?? soup ?? biscuits ?? a kiss ??

Chan: the last one sound good, but iactually need. ...

Mon: your pillow fluffed ?? a blanket ??? a little bit of monica lovin ??

Chan: err..... I actually need to pee

Mon: eugh ! you can do that yourself

(Chandler gets up and hobbles tothe bathroom. Monica fluffs the pillows, when there is a knock on the door. Monica gets it, it's Joey and Phoebe)

Joey: (VERY DRUNK) methinks it's Monica

Mon: guys stink of beer

Phoe: (hiccups VERY DRUNK TOO) we had a little to drink

Mon: hmmm !!! a lot !!

Joey: wherefore art thou Chandler ??

Mon; he's in the bathrooms. Guys, it's really'd better go home

Phoe: night night Harmonica

Joey: see you yonder morning....

Mon: good bye !! (slams the door, sighing to herself)

(chandler hobbles out of the bathroom)

Chan: hey monica !!

Mon: hi....can i get you anything ??

Chan: about some of that monica loving you mentined earlier ??

Mon: of course


FADE OUT TO: Central Perk, the next evening, everybody except J+P are there. Joey and Phoebe enter looking tired

Chan: how are Joey-io and a bit tipsy hey ??

Phoe: yeah

Rach: bad hangover ??

Joey: yep..I was late for my rehearsal, but the old Romeo had come out of coma..and returned

Ross: oh...thats good

Joey: not for me..Romeo was the perfect part for me..... !!

Mon: there will be other plays Joey !!

Joey: no....I'm fine with this one..#

Mon: what ??

Rach: didn't you just say....

Joey: hey...I'm juliette, the other one got hit by a falling fake tree.

Chan: Joe, you're playing a woman ?? (bursts into hysterics with everyone else)

Phoe: that's very different from the parts you.,....err....usually play Joey (laughing too)

Chan: or should we say Josephine !!

Joey: let's change the subject, what about Ross' birthday

Ross: yeah, guys, did you forget about it ??

Rach: of course not honey.....we all got you presents.....

ALL: Happy Birthday !! (they all shove gifts at him)

Ross: wow, you guys !!!

Joey: open them, open them !! (getting excited)

Phoe: Mine first Ross !!

Ross: ok, ok ok.........(unwraps) wow, candles.....thanks Pheebs

Mon; mine now....

Ross (unwraps) a cushion.....cheers Mon

Chan: here's mine

Joey: hey, it's mine too, we bought it together

Chan (whispers to Joey) you owe me 10 bucks !!

Ross: wow.....Bart Simpson boxer shorts.....thanks you guys !!

Rach: no..dum dum dum...the extra special present I got you !!!!

Ross: wow...honey..what did you get ??

Phoe: open it open it !!!

Mon: hurry up, lets see what she got you !!

Ross: ok..ok.....give me a chance (unwraps it)

Chan: what is it ??

Ross: It's a dinosaur tie !!!

Rach: I hope you like it, it's to prove to you that I love you just the way you you didn;t have this one !!

Ross: I always wanted the stegosaurus with the purple tooth !!!

Joey: it's great but not as nice as a our Beavis and Butthead ties !!

(Chandler and Joey then do a hilarious Beavis and Butthead laugh erhu-huh-uhuh)

(like in TOW Ross + know)


comments ?? opinion ??
there will be more episodes...with my drama involved...really this is more setting the scene and light hand comedy !!