[Scene: Rachel’s bedroom.  She is waking up]

Rachel: (rubs her head) Ohhhh my head. (looks to the other side of the bed and sees…Ross!.  Shakes him) Ross wake up!

Ross: (waking up) Rach?  What are you doing in my…oh

Rachel: What are we doing here?

Ross: I don’t remember.  I know we were at Chandler & Monica’s reception.  There was alcohol involved.

Rachel: They must have brought us home.

Ross: Then why are we lying in your bed, naked?

Rachel: Did we-

Ross: I think so

Rachel: (groaning) Oh my god.

Ross: I know.  But how did we get in here?

Rachel: Well it is my bedroom you know.  The guys probably brought me in here, and put you on the couch.  Then for some reason, you came in here.

Ross: Hey, look on the bright side.  At least I’m not a stranger.

Rachel: True.  But what are we going to do?
 

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[Scene: Rachel’s apartment, later that day.  Ross is eating breakfast when Rachel enters from the bathroom.  Phoebe & Joey enter]

Rachel: Morning guys!

Danielle: Joey! (runs to him, and Joey picks her up)

Joey: Hey Danni!

Phoebe: Morning?  It’s 12:30 Rachel!

Rachel: Oh, afternoon then.

Ross: Do you have any idea what happened last night?

Phoebe: Yeah, you guys were totally smashed. I told Monica & Chandler not to worry about you, so they went off on their honeymoon.  Joey & I brought you here.

Rachel: Oh, Pheebs did you give me a shower?

Phoebe: No, but I did change your clothes.  I didn’t really think you’d want to sleep in your bridesmaid dress.

Rachel: (glancing at Ross) Oh, that explains it.

Joey: Is it just me, or are you two being really weird today?

Both: (nervously) Nothing’s going on!  It’s just you Joe.

Joey: Yeah there is…wait, Ross did you sleep with her last night?

Ross: (quickly) No!

Joey: Yeah you did!  Score man!

Phoebe: Oh my god!  Rach is this true?

Rachel: (ashamed) Yeah.

Phoebe: So are you two getting back together or what?

Both: No! (they look at each other)

Rachel: (under her breath) Not yet

Joey: So the only reason you slept together was ‘coz you were totally drunk?

Both: Yep.

(there is an awkward silence)

Rachel: I’m gonna go wake Danielle up. (exits to Danielle’s room)

Joey: So how did it happen man?

Ross: I’m not telling you anything!

Joey: (whining) Come on! (Ross shakes his head)
 

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[Scene: Central Perk, everyone’s there (minus Chandler & Monica).  Rachel’s cell phone rings]

Rachel: (into phone) Hello? (pause) Hi Mon! (pause) Yeah Pheebs and Joey took us to my place. Ross uh slept on the couch. (pause) Yes, I’ll tell you, but not over the phone.  You’ll have to wait until you guys come back. (pause) OK Bye. (hangs up) That was Mon

(silence)

Phoebe:  You know, I miss Chandler’s jokes already.

Rachel: Anyway, she just wanted to make sure we got home alright last night.
 

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[About a month later; Monica & Chandler have come back.  Scene: Rachel is in her bedroom, counting pages in her diary]

Rachel: Thirty one, thirty two, thirty three. Thirty three! (she looks at her bed as she does so; she realizes something and starts rifling through the pages until she finds the entry she's looks for. She checks the date.)  Oh my god!
 

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[Scene: Ross’ apartment, Ross is there alone.  Rachel enters.]

Rachel: Ross I need to tell you something…

Ross: What?

Rachel: I…I think I’m pregnant.

Ross: What! (Rachel nods)  How?

Rachel: (sarcastically) You have a son and you don’t know how it happened?

Ross: But how did it happen?  We haven’t been near each other since…(realises)

Both: Monica & Chandler’s wedding!

Ross: Of course!  We were both so drunk…but even though we were drunk, I distinctly remember uh, being careful twice.

Rachel: Were we as careful the third time?

Ross: There was a third time?

Rachel: (nodding) Uh huh.

Ross: Are you sure?

Rachel: No! But I’m going to the doctor the day after tomorrow.  Do you want to come? (Ross nods)

Ross: Thanks for telling me first. (goes to hug her)

Rachel: (freaking out, she’s just realising what happening) What am I gonna do?  I’ve had it with being a single mother!  It’s going to happen again! (starts walking around with her hands on her head)

Ross: (going over to her) Rach calm down, we’re sensible people.  We can handle it.

Rachel: I don't call getting drunk and sleeping with your ex very sensible.

Ross:  Yeah, but we're usually sensible. Anyway, you don’t even know if you are pregnant yet.

Rachel: Yeah, you’re right.  Thanks Ross.

(they hug and we can see on Rachel’s face that she wants it to last longer than it does)

Rachel: (sitting on the couch) There’s something else I think you should know.

Ross: (sitting next to her) What?

Rachel: Well (takes a deep breath) you know Danielle.  She’s your daughter.

Ross: What! (Rachel nods) From Vegas?

Rachel: (nodding) I found out about her about a week after you left.  I didn’t want to tell you, ‘coz at first I was going to have an abortion…but then I didn’t and I forgot all about telling you.

Ross: (softly) How come you didn’t tell me after she was born?  You’ve had almost three years.

Rachel: I didn’t think this should be the kind of news you hear over the telephone.  I wanted to wait until you came home.

Ross: So now I have two kids.  (smiling) And maybe another one on the way.
 

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[Scene: Central Perk.  Everyone is there bar Ross, Danielle is on Monica’s lap.  Ross enters & goes to the counter]

Rachel: (following him) Ross could I talk to you for a second?

Ross: Sure

Rachel: I’m not pregnant.

Ross: How do you know?  Did you take a test?

Rachel: No, I got my period.

Ross: You got your…you’re not pregnant?

Rachel: Nope.

Ross: Is this good or bad?

Rachel: It’s good, ‘coz I don’t really wanna have another child who was a drunk mistake.  (turns to go) Oh by the way (turning back) Don’t tell your parents, or my dad, that Danielle is your daughter OK?

Ross: (nodding) Why not?

Rachel: Look at it this way, if my dad knew who the father of Danielle is, he’ll kill him.  I mean, the guy made me pregnant when I was single!

Ross: Thanks a lot!

Rachel: I’m not saying you forced me into doing anything, I’m saying that my dad won’t understand.

Ross: OK

(they go back over to the gang)

Joey: Guys, I was thinking (Chandler snorts & Monica hits him.  Joey gives them a weird look) Anyway, I was thinking, how about we have Christmas at Monica & Chandler’s apartment this year.

Phoebe: But we always do!

Monica: Yeah, and speaking of Christmas, I need to do some Christmas shopping.  Rach, Pheebs wanna come?

Rachel: Sure, guys will you look after Danielle for me? (Ross nods & Monica gives Danielle to him)

Ross: Say good-bye to momma.

Danielle: Bye momma.

Rachel: (kissing Danielle’s hair) Bye sweetie

(Monica, Rachel & Phoebe exit)

Danielle: Woss, can I have ice cweam?

Ross: No princess, it’s too close to bed time.

Danielle: Please? (Ross shakes his head) Please? (does Ross’ puppy eyes)

Ross: Oh alright.

Joey: Hey! Danielle has your puppy eyes!

Ross: What? No she doesn’t.

Chandler: Yeah she does.  Wait, is Danielle your daughter?

Ross: Yeah (Chandler & Joey look at each other in disbelief)  But can we talk about this later, after I put this one to bed? (motioning to Danielle)  Right now, let’s go get the ice cream she was promised.

Chandler: (mocking) Don’t you mean ice cweam? (Ross glares at him) Whoa, if looks could kill.
 

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[Scene: A mall.   Monica, Rachel & Phoebe are shopping.  They have a couple of shopping bags]

Rachel: What do you think I should get Ross?

Monica: I dunno,

Phoebe: Oooh look! (they both look where Phoebe’s pointing) Macy’s are having an electronic sale!

(They all go over to Macy’s)

Monica: (picking something up) I think I’m gonna get Ross a new toaster.  He said his old one was broken.

Rachel: I’m gonna get Chandler a discman…does he have one Mon?

Monica: No.

Phoebe: Oh guys, I just found the best present for Joey.  (shows them a box) A Nintendo 64. (Monica & Rachel look at her weirdly) I know he really wants one ‘coz he’s been trying to save for one for ages.

Monica: Pheebs, how about we all split the cost, you know it costs about $220.

Phoebe: (looking at the price tag) Yeah, you’re right.

Rachel: But I still haven’t solved my problem. What am I gonna get Ross?

Monica: How about a shirt.  I know he needs one.

Phoebe: No, you can’t!

Rachel: Why not Pheebs?

Phoebe: ‘Coz that shows that you still like him, and you wanna get back together with him.  I mean, if you get him a shirt, it shows you still know all his body measurements.

Monica: So maybe you shouldn’t give him a shirt.

Rachel: What about a tie?

Phoebe: Too formal

Monica: Socks?

Phoebe: No

Rachel: A pen?

Phoebe: Too impersonal

Rachel: Ugh!  I’m gonna go and find him something by myself. (walks off)

Monica: Hey Pheebs!  Look at this!

Phoebe: (looking) Wow!  That’s perfect for Rach!

Monica: Let’s get it.

Phoebe: OK, and then can we go to the toy department, I need to get my present for Chandler.

Monica: (giving her a weird look) Sure, I need to get a present for Ben anyway.
 

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[Scene: The ice-cream parlour.  Chandler, Ross, Joey & Danielle are arriving]

Ross: Now Danni, what’s your favourite flavour? (Danielle shrugs) Oh, wait I think I know. (goes to the counter)

Joey: (to Chandler) how does he know? (Chandler shrugs)

Ross: (coming back) Here you go.

(Danielle tastes it and smiles)

Danielle: Yep (she sits on Ross’ lap and continues to eat her ice cream)

Chandler: What flavour is it?

Joey: (tasting it) cookies ‘n’ cream.

Chandler: How did you know which one?

Ross: (shrugging) It’s Rach’s favourite too.
 

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[Scene: Rachel’s apartment.  The girls are wrapping presents]

Monica: (to Rachel) What did you end up getting for Ross?

Rachel: I’m not going to tell you, ‘coz you’re only going to tell me that I shouldn’t have gotten it for him.

Monica: What did you get Ben?

Rachel: A football outfit.

Phoebe: Oh.  I just got him a new football.  What about you Mon?

Monica: I got him “Mission Impossible II” on DVD.

Phoebe: We got the best present for Danielle.

Rachel: Speaking of Danielle, I wonder where she is.  Where are the guys?

Monica: They could be at your apartment Rach, or yours Pheebs.

Phoebe: Somehow I doubt that.

Rachel: Then where do you think they are?  What if they were in an accident?  Or what if they got mugged?

Monica: Rach, calm down and call Ross on his mobile.

(Rachel picks up the phone and dials)

Rachel: (on phone) Ross where’s Danielle? (pause) I kinda gathered that she was with you, but where are you? (pause) What!  This close to her bedtime! (pause) She won’t sleep Ross, you should know better! (pause) Yes, I think you should come home right now. (hangs up) Ross took her to an ice cream parlour!

Monica: Are Chandler & Joey with him?

Rachel: Probably, I didn’t ask.  But he took her out for ice cream when he knew she’s going to bed soon!  I can’t believe him!

Phoebe: Why don’t you wait ‘til he gets here, then give him a chance to explain.

Rachel: What’s there to explain?

Phoebe: Whoa.  Is it just me or is there this major feeling of deja vu?

Monica: (to Phoebe) I know what you mean. {Does the name Chloe mean anything to you?} (to Rachel) Rach honey, there’s always an explanation, you just need to let Ross tell you what his is.

(Ross, Danielle, Joey & Chandler enter)

Ross: Hey guys.

Monica: (kissing Chandler) Hey.

Rachel: Danielle, can you go and get ready for bed please?

Phoebe: I’ll help you. (takes Danielle into her bedroom)

Rachel: Ross what the hell were you thinking?

(Joey, Monica & Chandler are all sitting on the couch, watching the two of them walk around)

Ross: Whoa Rach, all I did was take her out for ice cream.

Rachel: (angry, yelling) At 7 o’clock!  She’s only three Ross!  She goes to bed at 7:30!  Now she won’t sleep!  You may have not spent much time with our daughter but I have!  And I know that if she eats anything after 6, she can’t sleep!

Ross: (taking her hands) Rach.  Alright, I understand what you’re saying here.  And I’m sorry.  But she had this look…and I just couldn’t say no.

Rachel: (smiling) I know what you mean.  The puppy eyes (Ross nods) Those she got from you.

(Rachel sits in the chair, Ross sits on the arm of the couch.  Phoebe & Danielle enter from bathroom)

Danielle: Momma Woss knew what ice cweam I like!

Rachel: What do you mean honey?

Joey: She means that Ross knew what her favourite flavour was, and she didn’t know what it was called.

Rachel: How did you know?

Ross: I know that cookies ‘n’ cream is your favourite flavour, and I figured that it might be hers too.

Rachel: (impressed) Wow Ross, I didn’t think you’d remember after all this time.

Ross: I could never forget a thing like that. (Rachel smiles)
 

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[Scene: Rachel’s apartment, Danielle’s bedroom.  Danielle is in bed, and Rachel is reading to her]

Rachel: …and so Beauty and the prince lived happily ever after.  The End. (closes the book) Alright, it’s sleep time now Danni.

Danielle: Momma, who is my daddy?

Rachel: (smiling) Ross

Danielle: Woss?  Woss who knew what ice cweam I like?

Rachel: That’s the one.  So you can call him daddy if you like.

Danielle: OK Momma

Rachel: Good night sweetie.

Danielle: Night night Momma

(Rachel covers Danielle and kisses her cheek, then leaves the room)
 

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[Scene: Monica & Chandler’s apartment.  Everyone is there bar Ross.  Ross enters]

Ross: Guys, I just got a promotion!  You are now looking at Dr Geller, head of the palaeontology department!

All: Wow/That’s great Ross/Way to go Ross!

Ross: This means I get a new, bigger office; a pay rise and an annual, paid holiday anywhere I want, Florida, California, wherever.

Chandler: When do you start?

Ross: Right after Christmas, 27th December.
 

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[Scene: Monica & Chandler’s apartment; it is perfectly decorated for Christmas.  Everyone is there bar Ross & Ben.  Monica and Rachel are cooking, Danielle is playing with Phoebe while Joey & Chandler watch TV]

Monica: Where are they?  Ross said he’d be here at 6 and it’s 6:10 now.

Rachel: Relax Mon, give them 5 more minutes then we’ll call Ross on his mobile.

Ross: (entering) Hey guys

Danielle: (running to him) Daddy!

Ross: (raising his eyebrows at Rachel) Hey princess.

Ben: Hi Danni!

Danielle: Ben! (hugs him, then Ross picks her up)

Joey: When’s dinner Mon, I’m starving.

Monica: Pheebs, can you help us serve?

(The three girls serve up the meal while Danielle helps Ross put the presents under the tree)

(Cut to later.  Chandler & Ross are washing the plates while Monica & Phoebe dry them.  Danielle, Joey and Ben are playing hide-and-seek)

Rachel: (entering from bathroom) Are you finished yet guys?

Monica: (drying the last plate) Yep.

Joey: Then let’s open the presents!

Chandler: Just one Joe, you get the rest tomorrow.

Joey: Aww, can I please have two?

Danielle/Ben: No!

Joey: (scared) Alright, alright. (Everyone sits down; Danielle in Ross’ lap with Ben & Rachel on either side of him.  Monica & Chandler in a chair and Phoebe & Joey next to them)

Rachel: Who’s first?

Danielle: Me!  Me!

Ross: Here you go (hands her a present)

Danielle: (opening it) A dolly!  Thanks daddy! (hugs Ross)

Phoebe: What are you going to name her?

Danielle: Umm I don’t know, Momma?

Rachel: Kellie?

Danielle: No

Rachel: Hannah?

Danielle: No

Rachel: Wendy?

Danielle: No

Rachel: What about Bronte? {Brontosaurus J}

Danielle: Yeah!

Ben: Me next!

Phoebe: Here’s yours (hands him a present)

Ben: Cool a new football, thanks Pheebs (hugs her) Can we go play?

Ross: Sure.

Monica: But it’s snowing outside.

Ben: So? Snow football is so much fun!

(Monica, Rachel & Phoebe groan)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Scene: a park.  The gang are arriving]

Danielle: Momma I don’t want to play.

Phoebe: It’s OK, I’ll sit out with her. (takes Danielle over to a bench)

Ross: OK who are our captains?

Ben: Me!

Ross: Alright, who else?

Rachel: Can I be the other captain?

Monica: Sure.  OK Ben, you pick first.

Ben: Dad

Rachel: Chandler

Monica: Hey!  How come you’re choosing all the guys first?

Rachel: Don’t worry Mon, you’ll be chosen.

Ben: Mon

Rachel: See?  OK Joey, you’re on my team.

Phoebe: How come no-one realises that putting all the Gellers on one team might cause less problems. (thinks) Wait a minute, Mon is Monica Bing now.  But she’s still a Geller at heart.

Danielle: (getting on Phoebe’s lap) Who you talking to Phoebe?

Phoebe: What? (looks at Danielle) Oh no-one

Danielle: Then push me! (She starts to push Danielle on the swing)

(the two teams gather on opposite sides of the park)

Rachel: (In her huddle) OK, Joey you mark Ben, Chandler you mark Mon and I’ll mark Ross.

Joey: Are you sure you can manage Mon Chandler?  Maybe I’d better mark her. (Chandler shoots him an evil look) Or maybe not.

(Ben kicks off.  Chandler catches the ball, and easily passes Monica & Ben, then he gets tackled by Ross, but slides in the snow, and puts the ball over the line. His team all celebrate)

Joey: 7 to nothing!  We’re winning!

Ben: This is so much fun!

Monica: (sarcastic) Right, wonderful.

(They play some more, with both teams scoring a number of touchdowns)

Voice: Ross!

(Ross turns his head and sees the ball heading towards him.  He catches it, then gets knocked off his feet by Rachel.  They fall into a snowdrift, out of sight)

Rachel: Gotcha.  Didn’t think I’d be good enough to take you down, did you?

Ross: Nope

(Rachel seems to be thinking about something. The she makes up her mind and kisses Ross passionately on the lips.  When she breaks, their eyes meet and hold)

Ben: (O.S.) Dad!  Where are you?

Rachel: (smiling) They’re looking for you

Ross: Right, uh we’d better go.

(Ross helps Rachel to her feet)

Rachel: Uh, sorry

(Ross just looks at her, speechless)

{Got that from Queen of Hearts.  It’s the best C&M fan fic I’ve read.  If you’re reading this guys, I love ya!}
 

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[Scene: Spare room in Monica & Chandler’s apartment (Rachel’s old room).  Ross enters, carrying Danielle, who is fast asleep.  He takes off her shoes and wet snow gear, then he lays her in her bed and covers her up.  He strokes her hair while thinking.

Ross: (O.S) She looks and acts so much like her mother. (Rachel comes to the doorway, and smiles when she see Ross.  She goes away without Ross seeing her) She could almost have no father, even though that’s biologically impossible. (On-screen Ross smiles and we see that Danielle is clutching a stuffed dinosaur) But Danni shares my love of dinosaurs, and I’ll bet that when she goes to school, she’ll be one of the smartest in her class.  She already talks like a six year-old, even if she is only three.  I love Danielle so much, I just wonder about the mother, do I love her?
 

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[Scene: Monica & Chandler’s apartment, the next morning.  Ross is sleeping on the couch, Phoebe, Joey and Ben on the floor.  Danielle enters, running]

Danielle: Daddy wake up! (shakes Ross) It’s Cwismas!

Ross: (waking up) Danielle, shh you’ll wake everyone up.

Rachel: (entering from the spare room) I think it’s a bit late for that (motions to Ben, Phoebe & Joey, who are waking up) Danielle honey, I told you to come out quietly.

Danielle: Sorry Momma.  (looks around) Where is Auntie Mon and Unca Chander?

Ross: I think they’re in their room.  Why don’t you go wake them up? (Danielle runs off) (to Rachel) It’s so cute the way she pronounces all those “big” words. (they both smile)

(Danielle enters, dragging Monica behind her.  Chandler follows the two)

Rachel: Did she wake you two?

Chandler: Nah, we were just talking.

Danielle: Now we open pwesents!

Ross: (picking her up) I think we can open them now princess.

Danielle: (struggling to get down) Me first!  Me first!

Rachel: Alright, honey calm down.  You can go first. (she hands her a present)

Danielle: (unwrapping it) What is it daddy?

Ross: (taking it) It’s a puzzle sweetie.  I’ll help you with it later if you like.

Danielle: OK (sets it aside and takes another present.  Ross & Rachel look at each other & laugh)

Phoebe: How are we going to decide who gets to open the next present?

(everyone shrugs)

Monica: How about we get a bottle and spin it.  Whoever it lands on is the one who opens the present.

All: OK/Sure (Monica gets a bottle from the kitchen)

Ben: Mon, you can spin first.

Monica: (spinning it) Phoebe!

Phoebe: (unwrapping the present) Cool a new kettle!  Thanks Mon! (hugs her, then spins the bottle) Ross! (hands him a present)

Ross: (unwrapping it) Thanks Pheebs!  I needed a pair of binoculars! (hugs her)

Joey: Actually, they’re from me too. (Ross hugs him)

Ross: My turn to spin (spins) Rachel!

Rachel: (unwrapping) Oh my god Ross!  My favourite perfume!  Thank you!  I haven’t been able to find it since Danielle was born.  How ever did you find it? (hugs him)

Ross: I have my ways.  (Phoebe & Monica exchange looks)

(Cut to later.  There are still four presents under the tree, and there is a huge pile of wrapping paper behind the couch)

Rachel: This present is for…(reading the label) Joey from us girls. (hands him the box)

Joey: Wow it’s huge. (unwraps it) Oh my god!  A Nintendo 64!  Thanks guys! (hugs the girls)  When can we set it up?

Ross: Not ‘til all the present have been unwrapped Joe.

Phoebe: Who are they for?

Ross: Well, (clearing his throat) one is for Danielle from me, and one is for Rach from me.

Rachel: And the other one is for Ross, from me. (Monica and Phoebe exchange glances)

Chandler: OK well then we don’t need to spin the bottle.

Ross: Yes we do, I still have a present for Danielle. (he spins)

Danielle: Me!  Me! (Ross hands her a present which she unwraps) A new teddy!  Momma what’s his name?

Rachel: How about Snowy?

Danielle: Yeah!  Snowy! (hugs the teddy & then Ross)

Joey: OK, now who’s gonna go first? Ross or Rachel?

Ross: I will. (hands Rachel a present)

Rachel: (unwrapping it) Thanks Ross, a CD player.  My other one is broken

Ross: I know.

Rachel: Here’s yours. (hands it to him)

Ross: Oh my gosh Rachel!  Thanks!  I’ve been wanting this book for ages!

(Joey & Chandler exchange glances.  Rachel & Ross’ eyes meet & hold)

Danielle: Daddy!

Ross: (breaking to look at her) Yes Danni?

Danielle: Show me (motions to the puzzle)

Ben: I will dad (takes her to the couch & they start to put the puzzle together)

(Monica & Phoebe pull Rachel into the guest room)

Chandler: What the hell was that?

Ross: What?

Joey: You were totally flirting with her.

Ross: (lying) who?

(cut to guest room)

Phoebe: Ross!

Rachel: I was not!

Monica: Yeah you were.

Rachel: (sighing) Alright I was.  But so what, he didn’t know.

(cut to living room)

Joey: Yeah she did

Chandler: And what’s with the expensive presents?

Ross: What do you mean?

(Cut to guest room)

Phoebe: You’ve given him a discman, a hardcover book…

(Cut to living room)

Chandler: …a CD player and her favourite perfume.

(Cut to guest room)

Monica: Come on Rach, you’ve got to get over him.

Rachel: I know, it’s just so hard.  I really love him.  I was happy that we got married in Vegas, and I kinda….

(cut to living room)

Ross: …didn’t want to get the annulment.  Phoebe told me that I still loved her, and she’s right, I do love Rachel.  But I don’t wanna go through all the pain again.

Chandler: You have to go out and meet some new girls.  How many dates did you have while you were away?

Ross: Two.

Joey: Well I guarantee that by New Year’s you’ll have found someone else.   I’ll help you.

Ross: Alright (sighs)

(The girls enter from guest room)

Rachel: (glancing at Ross) So, are we done with the presents?

Monica: Yep, so could someone help me with the paper…Chandler?

(Chandler sighs, but starts helping Monica gather up the paper)

Ross: I’ve got to take Ben back to Carol’s, I said I’d have him back by 11 and it’s (looking at his watch) already quarter past! Ben we’ve gotta go.

Ben: Not yet!

Ross: Now, I have to take you home so you can spend Christmas with your mom.

Ben: (thinks) Alright!  More presents! (runs out the door)

Ross: (looking after him) Kids are so selfish aren’t they?

Phoebe: Yep.

Ross: Bye guys.

All: Bye Ross/See ya

(Ross goes over to the door, but Joey follows him)

Joey: (to Ross, softly so the others don’t hear) Don’t forget man, you’re coming with me to pick up some girls on Monday.

Ross: But I start work then.

Joey: Oh alright, Tuesday then.

Ross: How about Thursday night?

Joey: Yeah alright, that means you’ll have a date for New Year’s.

(Ross exits)
 

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[Scene: Ross’ new office.  He is there looking through some papers.  A woman enters{Cameron Diaz}]

Woman: (with French accent) Excuse me.

Ross: (looking up) (under his breath) wow (out loud) uh hi

Woman: Hi, I’m Zoë Porter.  I’m new here.  I’m the new accountant.

Ross: (shaking hands) Ross Geller, nice to meet you.

Zoë: I was looking for Dr Jenkins’ office.

Ross: Well here, I’ll show you where it is. (leads her out of the office)
 

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[Scene: The hallway outside Dr Jenkins’ office.  Zoë and Ross walk up to it]

Ross: Here it is.

Zoë: Thanks. Um I was wondering, would you like to get coffee sometime?

Ross: Uh sure.

Zoë: Well here’s my number.  Call me sometime.

Ross: OK (Zoë enters the office & Ross looks after her until the door closes in his face)
 

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[Scene: Joey’s apartment, Joey & Chandler are there.  Ross enters]

Ross: (excited) You guys!  I just got a date with the hottest girl in the museum!

Chandler: Let me guess, you bribed her to go out with you.

Ross: No.  She’s new at the museum and lost her way.  I helped her out.

Joey: So, more information. Is she (does the international sign for big boobies)?

Ross: No! Geez Joey! But her name’s Zoë Porter and she’s really attractive.

Chandler: Where are you guys going?

Ross: Out for dinner tomorrow night.  I’m taking her to Alessandro's.

Chandler: Isn’t that the seafood place that Monica used to work?

{I don’t know whether it is a seafood place but for this fan fic it is}

Ross: Yeah.

Joey: I reckon you should take her to the Moondance Diner.

Ross: No way!  It’s really cheap!  I don’t want Zoë to think I’m a cheapo!

Joey: I take women there all the time.

Chandler: (to Ross) And now we know why he can’t hold a relationship for more than a fortnight.

Joey: So does this mean that you won’t come with me to pick up girls tomorrow night?

Ross: Nope, you’ll have to find someone else buddy.

Joey: Chandler?

Chandler: I’m married Joey.  To Monica in case you didn’t realise. (Chandler & Ross glare at Joey)
 

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[Scene: Alessandro’s.  Ross & Zoë are looking at their menus]

Zoë: The lobster looks good doesn’t it?

Ross: I’m allergic to lobster.

Zoë: Oh, (awkward pause) I think I’ll have a prawn cocktail for my entreé.  Would you like one too? (Ross nods & she looks at the menu) I’ll have the fish of the day.  What about you?

Ross: (glancing at the menu again) Um, the baby octopus. (tells the waiter their order) So, where are you from?

Zoë: I was born in Boston, but my family moved to France when I was 3 years old.  I got transferred here two years ago but I lost my job two months ago when the company got taken over. (pause) What about you?

Ross: I’ve lived in America all my life.  I was born near here and I moved here with my wife after we finished college.

Zoë: You’ve been married?

Ross: (cringing) Three times.

Zoë: What a coincidence!  I’ve been married three times as well!

Ross: (brightening) Oh really?

(Cut to later.  They have finished eating and both are laughing)

Ross: I can’t believe he did that!

Zoë: I couldn’t believe it either, at the time.

Ross: This has been such a great night.  I’m glad I came.

Zoë: Me too.

(they exit the restaurant)
 

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[Scene: Central Perk.  Everyone is there]

Joey: So, Ross, how did your big date go last night?

Ross: Great.  We have so much in common.  Zoë’s been married three times, like me.  And she loves her kids, even though they live with her ex-husband.

Monica: What’s she like?

Ross: She moved to France when she was a kid, then two years ago she got transferred back here.  Her company got taken over two months ago and she lost her job.

Phoebe: Wow your aura is all yellow.  You must be really happy.

Ross: Yeah well I haven’t met any nice women lately.  In fact, not since I went to Australia.  It’s nice not to be single.

Chandler: When are you going out again?

Ross: Tomorrow night.  We’re going to the movies to see Zorba.

Joey: Zorba?

Monica: Haven’t you heard about it?  It’s that new movie about the African woman who marries a white man.

Phoebe: What’s wrong with that?

Monica: Nothing, but apparently she wasn’t allowed to.

Chandler: I have to get to work.  Bye guys (kisses Monica) bye Mon.

Ross: (looking at his watch) Shoot!  I’m late.  Bye guys (rushes out of the door before Chandler)

Monica: I’ve gotta go too guys. Bye (exits with Joey)

Phoebe: Why is your aura green? Oh wait, I know.  You’re jealous of Ross’ new girlfriend.

Rachel: I just don’t see what she’s got that I haven’t got.

Phoebe: Three failed marriages.  And kids.

Rachel: Hey!  I’ve got Danielle!

Phoebe: Oh yeah, I forgot.  Speaking of Danielle, where is she?

Rachel: At preschool. I left her there before I came here.  But what about Ross?

Phoebe: What about him?  You’ve gotta leave him alone this time.  You’ve messed up enough of his relationships without getting yourself in a bigger mess over this one.  If you try to break them up, Ross’ll only get mad at you.

Rachel: (sighing) I know.
 

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[Scene: Rachel’s apartment, Rachel is pacing around the living room]

Rachel: Okay, what am I going to do? (snaps her fingers) I’ve got it!  I’m brilliant! (runs to the living room and gets an envelop.  She takes a piece of paper out of it and starts reading) (O.S.)

Dear Ross,

I’m sitting here alone, in my room. And thinking about the times that we’ve been through.  I’m looking at a picture in my heart, trying my best to understand.  I really want to know what we did wrong with a love that felt so strong.  If only you were here tonight, I know that we could make it right.

From the bottom of my broken heart, there’s just a thing or two I’d like you to know.  You were my first love, my one and only true love.  From the very first kisses to the very last rose from the bottom of my broken heart.

I don’t know how to live without your love.  I was born to make you happy, ‘cause you’re the only one within my heart.  I was born to make you happy always and forever.  That’s the way our life should be.  I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.

I know I’ve been a fool since you’re been gone.  I’d better give it up and carry on. ‘Cause living in a dream of you and me is not the way my life should be.  I don’t want to cry for you, so forgive me if I do.  If only you were here tonight, I know that we could make it right.

I’d do anything, I’d give you my world.  I’d wait forever to be your girl (again). Just call out my name and I’ll be there.  Just to show you how much I care.

Love you forever,

Rachel

{BTW this letter is a mixture of lyrics from a couple of Britney Spears’ songs on her “Baby one more time” album.  Born to make you happy & From the bottom of my broken heart}

(out loud) Yeah, I think that should do it.  I can’t believe I wrote this four years ago and it still makes sense. (folds it up and places it in the envelope again)  I know!  I’ll put in a picture of when we were together.  Now, where did I put those photos? (goes to a cupboard and gets out a photo album with “Ross loves Rachel forever” written on the front in gold calligraphy.  She starts looking through it) Here!  This ones’ perfect. (places it in the envelope) If he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll kill me, but what have I got to lose? (exits with the letter)
 

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[Scene: Ross’ apartment.  He enters, shuffling through his mail]

Ross: Bill, bill, junk, insurance, what’s this? (holds up a pink envelope & puts the rest of the mail down) I wonder who it’s from? (turns it over) Hey it’s sealed with a sticked of two lobsters! (opens the envelope) It’s from Rachel!