by: Eileen

TOW All the Sorrow. This takes place after the gang has returned from Las Vegas. Monica and Chandler are married now, but
they're keeping it a secret so they can have the wedding Monica has always wanted. The only person who knows they're
married is Rachel. If this episode oozes with sappiness, I apologize in advance.

(Scene: The whole gang is at Monica and Rachel's apartment watching "Baywatch.")

ROSS: You know, I could watch them run all day. (Rachel elbows him.)

JOEY: I think the show could stand some improvement. Thong theme!! (Ross and Joey high-five. Joey goes
to high-five Chandler who looks nervously over at Monica. Chandler kisses her.)

ROSS: Somebody's (makes Chandler's whip sound) WOOPAH!

CHANDLER: I am so not whipped! ... I just think I should behave in front of my fiancee.

(Silence.)

PHOEBE: You're getting married? (Looks at Chandler) You?

CHANDLER: Yes, me. Us. (Puts his arm around Monica.)

PHOEBE: What are you sorry for this time? Forget to do the dishes? Leave your hair in the sink?

MONICA: We're getting married because he won me at a game of craps.

ROSS: Excuse me?

MONICA: He said if I rolled a hard eight that we would get married. I did.

ROSS: (Sarcastic) Wow, that's romantic. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?

MONICA: No, we thought we tell them at Ben's birthday party tomorrow.

ROSS: Here, Ben, blow out the candles. By the way, Mom, Dad, I'm marrying the guy you think is gay.

CHANDLER: WHAT?!

(Scene: Ross' apartment. Everyone is there except Monica. Five kids, including Ben, are running around
the living room wearing party hats.)

ROSS: Where the hell is Monica? She was supposed to be here like an hour and a half ago.

RACHEL: Calm down, Ross. You know she wouldn't miss Ben's birthday for the world. She lives for this
stuff.

ROSS: You know, you give her one simple job: Pick up the birthday cake on your way home from work.
But, no.

CHANDLER: Come on, Ross. She probably got held up at work. She was really excited about this.

(The phone rings.)

ROSS: Maybe that's her. ... (Answer it) Hello? (Pause) Yes, this is Ross Geller. (Pause) What happened?
Is she all right? (Long pause) Can you at least tell me if she's all right? (Pause) I'll be right there. (He
hangs up.) (To everyone) Monica's been in a car accident. She's in the emergency room at Beth Israel.

CHANDLER: Oh, my God! Is she OK?

ROSS: (Scrambling for his coat) I don't know. They wouldn't tell me anything over the phone.

BEN: Dad, can we open my gifts now?

(Ross looks at Ben, then at Carole.)

CAROLE: Go! Go! Susan and I will take care of things here, and your parents will be here later to help
out. Call me when you find out more.

ROSS: Thanks. (Ross, Chandler, Joey, Rachel and Phoebe hurry out the door.)

(Scene: Beth Israel hospital emergency room. The gang runs up to the reception desk.)

ROSS: (Out of breath) Monica, Monica Geller. Where is she?

NURSE1: The doctors are with her and they're trying to stabilize her. You can take a seat over there
(points to a small waiting area), and Dr. Fredrickson will be out to talk to you as soon as he can.

(They walk over the waiting area.)

CHANDLER: Stabilize? Stabilize. What does that mean? Is it bad?

RACHEL: Ross, give me your cell phone. I'm going to call my dad. Maybe we can get some answers from
him. (Dials) Dr. Green, please. (Pause) Dad, it's Rachel. I'm down in the emergency room. (Pause.) No, Dad!
I'm fine. It's Monica.(Pause) I don't know. They won't tell us anything except that they're trying to
stabilize her. (Pause) OK. (She hangs up.) He's coming down. (Remember, her dad is a vascular surgeon.)

(Ten minutes pass. A nurse comes out from one of the emergency rooms.)

JOEY: There's Monica!

(They rush over to the window and look in.)

PHOEBE: I can't see anything.

(They catch a glimpse of Monica, who is hooked up to various machines. She's unconscious and has several
cuts along her right side, including her face. Her right arm is swollen and badly bruised.)

CHANDLER: (Visibily upset.) Oh, God.

(Enter Dr. Green)

RACHEL: Hi, Dad. (They hug.)

DR. GREEN: Hi. What room is she in? (Rachel points him the way.)

JOEY: Wow. She looked awful, didn't she? It looks like her arm is broken or something. (Joey realizes
he's said too much and looks nervously at Chandler and Ross, who look even more worried now. Rachel
comes back in.)

NURSE1: Is Ross Geller here?

ROSS: I'm Ross Geller.

NURSE1: We really need you to fill out this paperwork. Try to do as much of it as you can.

RACHEL: Ross, I'll do that. Go sit down. (He does. She sits down in a chair across from him and starts
filling out the forms.) Name? (Writes down Monica Geller, then thinks twice about it, then writes Monica
Geller Bing.) Age? 29. Marital status? (She checks off "Married," then continues on with the form.)

(Enter Dr. Green. They all stand up and go over to him.)

RACHEL: Dad? Is she going to be OK?

DR. GREEN: Honey, tthey're doing the best they can for her. They're preping her for surgery.

ROSS: Surgery?!

DR. GREEN: She's bleeding internally. She's lost a lot of blood. They think she has a concussion, but they
have to take X-rays to be sure. And her arm is broken.

(Chandler takes a step back, not handling the news well.)

DR. GREEN: They need to know before they can take the X-rays whether she's pregnant or not.

ROSS: Pregnant? No. How could she be pregnant?

JOEY: Well, Ross ...

ROSS: Joey, uh, stop. (Thows up a hand.)

(Dr. Green interrupts.)

DR. GREEN: Has she had unprotected sex since her last period?

ROSS: (Disgusted) No!

CHANDLER: (Remembering their wedding night in Las Vegas) Yes.

ROSS: What do you mean yes?

CHANDLER: Ross, it's a long story. Just drop it.

Dr. GREEN: Well, they'll give her a pregnancy test just to make sure. (He leaves to go tell the doctor
attending Monica.)

ROSS: You had unprotected sex? Are you nuts? What were you guys thinking?

CHANDLER: Drop it, Ross.

ROSS: No, she's my sister ...

CHANDLER: DROP IT, ROSS!!

(About a half hour passes. Enter Dr. Green)

DR. GREEN: They're taking her into surgery now, and they've set her arm. ... They can't take the X-rays
because ... she is pregnant.

CHANDLER AND, ROSS: What!!!! (Joey grabs Chandler's arm and helps him into a chair.)

JOEY: You're going to be a father! You're going to be a father! That's so cool. Can I be godfather?
(Chandler is just staring into space, shocked.)

ROSS: You got my sister pregnant? You knocked her up? What's wrong with you? (He hits Chandler in
the shoulder. Chandler bolts up out of his seat. Pissed.)

CHANDLER: Ross, knock it off. This is as big a shock to me as it is to you.

ROSS: You got her pregnant. My best friend got my unwed sister pregnant. What's wrong with you? (He
pushes him. Chandler pushes him back harder. It escalates.)

RACHEL: (Gets between them.) Knock it off! It's OK, they're married! (Realizes what she just said and
retreats.)

ROSS: What? You guys are already married?

JOEY: Who was your best man, huh?

CHANDLER: (Gives Joey a look) Ross, we got married in Las Vegas.

ROSS: Vegas? Wow, that's romantic. Was Elvis there?

CHANDLER: Well, it seemed to be good enough for you!

ROSS: For me?

CHANDLER: (Angrier still) You and Rachel. What? You still don't remember your Drink, Drink, Drink I
Dos?

ROSS: (Reality sinks in) Oh, my God.

RACHEL: Ross. Let's go get some coffee and talk about this. It's, OK, really. (Rachel leads a
still-shocked Ross to the cafeteria.)

PHOEBE: (To Chandler) Well, big day, huh, Mr. Secret Marriage Gonna Be a Dad Man. (Pause.) I'm sorry.
It's just that I had to find out you guys were dating the hard way. Not a pretty sight. ... Well, I just wish
you guys had let me in on the fun. ... Well, you know what I mean (She gives Chandler a comforting hug.)
I'm going to go get some coffee. I'll bring you guys back some.

(Chandler walks over and looks into the room at Monica.)

JOEY: You OK?

CHANDLER: I've never been so scared in my whole life. I'm afraid I'm going to lose her ... them.

(An hour has passed. Everyone is in the waiting room. Enter Dr. Frederickson)

DR. F : I'm looking for Mr. Bing.

CHANDLER: (Jumps up) That's me.

DR. F: Can you come into my office, please?

CHANDLER: You can say whatever it is you have to say in front of them. (Looks at the rest of the gang.)
It's good news, right?

DR. F: Your wife is going to be fine. We stopped the bleeding and the X-rays show that her concussion is
mild.

ROSS: X-rays? You weren't supposed to take any because of the baby!

DR. F: She had a miscarriage during surgery. I'm sorry. We did all we could. (Ross puts his hand on
Chandler's shoulder, but Chandler shrugs it off and leaves the room.)

DR. F: I suggest you guys go home and get some rest. We've given her a sedative to help her sleep. She
won't be awake for hours and she really needs the rest.

PHEOBE: (Upset)Yeh, OK. Come on, let's go.

(Scene: Ross' apartment. Everyone, but Chandler and Monica, is there and depressed.)

PHOEBE: Why don't we watch a movie or something? (She goes over to Ross' entertainment center and
starts looking at the videos.) Ants of the Antarctic. Jurassic Journey. Prehistoric Predatory Theories?

JOEY: Could you be more of a dork?

CAROLE: (To Ross) Ben wants to know whether he can open up his last birthday gift. (Hesitiates) It's
from Monica.

Ross: Yeah.

(Ben tears off the wrapping paper. It's one of the Creepy Crawlers kits, the ones where you make your
own bugs.)

BEN: Cool!

JOEY: I had that! Can I play, too!!?

CAROLE: Maybe tomorrow, Joe, Ben's going to bed. Say goodnight, Ben.

BEN: ‘night.

(They leave. The room is quiet.)

JOEY: I wonder how Monica is going to take the news about the baby.

RACHEL: It's really going to hurt her.

PHOEBE: Hey, you know, let's think Happy Monica thoughts. ... I know. Maybe this family video will show
Monica fat or Rachel's old nose and we'll forget about all the bad stuff for a while.

(She pops in the tape. Which shows a young Ross, who's about 2 years old. He's singing and dancing.)

YROSS: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle. Here is my spout. When I get all steamed
up, then I shout. Just tip me over and pour me out! (Everyone is laughing, except Ross.)

JACK GELLER: Ross that was great. You're certainly gonna get all the girls with that one.

(Present day)

JOEY: Where's your handle again?

ROSS: Shutup.

(Back to young Ross.)

JACK GELLER: Are you ready to meet your new sister?

(Judy Geller puts a baby carrier next to Ross. It has Monica in it. She's only a few days old.)

JUDY GELLER: So, what do you think, Ross? Say, hello to Monica.

YROSS: Hi. ... I'm your big brother. I take care of you.

(Present day. Everyone is looking at Ross)

ROSS: (Sarcastically) Well, I've done a great job at that. (He grabs his coat and leaves.)

(Scene: Beth Israel. Monica's hospital room. Chandler has a chair pulled up next to her bed. He's holding
her hand and has fallen asleep with his head resting on the bed. Enter Ross with a dozen pink roses. He
puts them on the table besider her bed. He goes to rearrange one of the roses and is stabbed by a thorn.)

ROSS: Oww!!

(Chandler wakes up.)

CHANDLER: Really stealth, Ross.

(A nurse comes in and starts taking Monica's blood pressure. Monica wakes up. The nurse leaves.)

MONICA: (Groggy) Ross? Chandler?

ROSS: Mon, it's OK. You're going to be fine.

MONICA: Ross, Ben's birthday. I'm so sorry about the cake. I'll bake him one myself.

CHANDLER: God, Mon, don't worry about that. Just relax.

(The nurse comes back with Dr. Frederickson.)

DR. F.: Well, I see someone's awake. How are you feeling?

MONICA: Ok, I guess. My head hurts. My arm is killing me, and I'm having horrible cramps.

DR.F: Well, the miscarriage will give you cramps for a little while, and your head ...

MONICA: (Interupts) Miscarriage? What are you talking about? I'm not pregnant!

CHANDLER: Mon ...

MONICA: (To Chandler) I'm not! (See the look on his face.) ... I am? ... was? (She starts to cry. Dr.
Frederickson leaves. Chandler climbs onto the bed and hugs her, gently rocking her back and forth.
Monica's sobbing.)

ROSS: Maybe it was for the best, Mon. You weren't ready.

CHANDLER: (Pissed) What's wrong with you? We lost a child today!!!

ROSS: (Realizing what he has said) I'm sorry. (He leaves.)

(Monica's hospital room. Late at night. Monica is sleeping. Chandler is standing and looking out the
window. It's raining. We hear the song "Angel" playing in the background. ... "In the arms of an angel, may
you find some elling peace tonight." ... Chandler walks over to Monica's bed and pulls the blankets over
her, tucking her in. He walks back to the window and stares out. He's pensive. (Remember how he looked
when Joey moved out of the apartment — that scene where he was sitting, looking out the window?) The
music gets a little louder. ... "In the arms of an angel, may you find some comfort here.)

The End.