This is my Soul Mate series. Monica moved away five years ago and hasn't seen the gang since. She moved to Arizona with her boyfriend Tommy. They had been seriously dating for three years before they moved. Since she's moved, the gang has only heard from her once a year. She called them on Christmas, but the rest of the year she wasn't heard from.

As I stepped off the escalator, I looked at my watch. I had been at the mall for an hour. My girlfriend Stacie was in Victoria's Secrets. She was in the store for over twenty minutes, so I decided to walk around for a while. As I walked pass Sam Goody, I noticed a female that caught my attention. I marveled at how much she looked like Monica. I tried to fight the urge to go in to the store, but it was useless. I casually walked into the store, not taking my eyes off the woman who resembled Monica. I couldn't see her face because she was at the counter, but from behind, she looked exactly like Monica. I felt ridiculous for actually thinking that Monica had come back to New York without the gang knowing anything about it. I pretended as if I were looking for a particular CD, all the while, keeping an eye on the Monica look-a-like. When she paid for her CD's, she walked away from the counter and I finally saw her face. It was indeed Monica Geller. I put back the CD I was looking at and started walking in her direction. I was completely embarrassed at what happened next. I don't know what happened, but somehow I tripped and fell. I laid there on my stomach, looking up at everyone who had witnessed my fall. Monica stopped and looked at me. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. She came over to me just as I had picked myself up off the floor.

"Chandler?"

"Monica, what are you doing here?"

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just really embarrassed."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. So, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I moved back here."

"You what? Why didn't any of us no about it?"

"I have to go, but I'll talk to you later."

"Monica, what's going on?"

"I'll explain everything later. I'll come by the coffeehouse tonight."

"I get the feeling I'm not gonna see you for another five years."

"I'm here to stay."

"And where are you staying?"

"I'll explain later. It's good to see you again," she said.

"You too," I said, giving her a hug.

We embraced for a few seconds before we broke the hug. We stood there looking at each other, not knowing what to say next. Words failed me. I still couldn't believe that she was standing right in front of me after all these years.

"Well, I have to get going. I'll see you later."

"Okay."

I watched her walk off, feeling as though I wouldn't see her again. After all these years, there was still some tension between us. To keep from thinking about what happened before she left, I quickly walked out of the store to go find Stacie. I didn't want to be at the mall a minute longer. I wanted to be at home, alone. I went back to Victoria's Secrets, but Stacie wasn't there. Great, I said to myself. Now I'll be here even longer looking for her. I walked around the mall for twenty minutes before I spotted her. By then I was irritated, but didn't show it. I put my arm around her and told her that I was ready to leave because I was tired. She didn't give me a hard time this time, which I was glad about.

I found myself looking around for Chandler. I couldn't help myself. Steven, my boyfriend of a year and two months, wondered why I was so quiet. I didn't bring myself to tell him that I ran into Chandler. I told him about the gang, but didn't mention what happened with me and Chandler years ago. Even though I no longer wanted to stay in Arizona, I didn't want to come back to New York. I miss the gang, but seeing Chandler just reminds me of why I left in the first place. There is still so much tension between the two of us. Steven noticed me looking around as if I was looking for someone in particular, but I lied and told him that I ran into someone I used to work with and I was wondering if she was still here. I know, it was pretty lame, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. Although I wasn't thrilled to return to New York, part of me was eager to see the gang, but the other part of me wasn't. I knew that eventually I would have a lot of explaining to do, and I wasn't prepared to do that just yet. More than anybody else, I owed Chandler an explanation.

I walked into the apartment I share with Joey, hoping that he was out on a date or something, so that I could have the place to myself. Seeing Monica aroused the feelings that I felt the day that she told me she was moving away with Tommy. It was like she was running away instead of moving on. I walked into my room and closed the door. I laid on my bed trying not to let the images of Monica leaving five years ago creep into my mind. It worked, but instead, I though of what happened months before she left.....

I walked into Monica and Rachel's apartment and noticed Monica sitting on the couch. She turned her head as I walked toward the couch. She had a sad look on her face. She smiled when I sat down next to her and inquired as to why she looked so miserable.

"I'll be okay."

"Still thinking about Tommy?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really," I said, smiling.

"I've been with him for three years. I know we've been broken up for a month now and I should just get over it, but....

"It's gonna take time," I assured her.

"I know. You wanna know the weird thing about all this is?"

"Sure why not?"

"I don't think our breakup is what I'm sad about."

"Then what is it?"

"I think it just the fact that I don't have anybody."

"I wouldn't say that. You have us."

"You're right," she agreed.

"I know I'm right."

Monica leaned her head against my chest and I stroked her hair. I've done this many times before, but this time something was different. She put her left arm around my waist and all of a sudden, my heart began to race and I was turned on. I tried to fight the urge to kiss her, but I couldn't.

"Monica."

"Yeah, she said, looking up at me.

I continued to caress her hair and our eyes remained locked on one another before I touched her face with my right hand, and kissed her. When she slipped her tongue in my mouth, I slowly pulled her on top of me. The kiss was amazing. I sunk a little lower into the couch, enjoying the feel of her touch, the softness of her lips, and her body sitting on top of mine. I held her tightly as we kissed. Her legs were spread apart, and her knees were bent. Neither one of us thought about the gang walking in and catching us. The thought never entered our minds. For twenty minutes we were on the couch making out. She broke the kiss and looked at me. She didn't say a word. I wondered what was on her mind. Did she regret kissing me? Is she gonna slap me? She got up off my lap and reached for my hand. She pulled me off the couch and we walked into her bedroom. I walked over to the bed while she closed the door and locked it. We stared at each other feeling anxious, yet nervous. She slowly walked over to where I was standing, and began taking off my shirt. Once my shirt was taken off, I slowly took off hers, all the while not taking our eyes off one another. Monica was incredibly beautiful and I looked forward to making love to her, and it was clear that she was eager to make love to me.

Once our clothes were taken off, and the fore play was over, I laid on top of her and stared into her eyes. She was touching my face, reading for the love making to start. I began kissing her while she ran her hands gently up and down my back.

"Oh my God," I said, closing my eyes as I entered her.

She held on to me tightly. She began sucking on my neck as I moved inside her. She felt incredible. She spread her legs further apart and was moving along with me. She whispered my name a few times, which aroused me even more. I never thought I'd be here making love to Monica, although I've imagined it a time or two.  I wasn't able to say anything to her while in the midst of making love, because it felt too good. I was afraid that I would say something and moan really loudly and embarrass myself. Plus, I was concentrating on making the sex last. I found myself getting overly excited and I didn't want to climax so soon.

The lovemaking was indeed the most pleasurable experience of my life. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I told her how incredible she felt, more than once. I remember the smile that spread across her face at the compliment. There was no need for her to tell me how enjoyable it was for her. She told me how good I felt throughout the lovemaking.  I lay here on my bed thinking of how soft she felt while I held her in my arms that night. We talked for a while before we got out of bed. Neither one of us wanted to leave the room. That night was the start of a short love affair. I've always felt some sort of attraction to Monica, but wasn't sure of her attraction to me until that night. We crossed the line of friendship and things weren't the same afterwards.

I sit here nervous. I knew there would be a time where I would have to face the gang again, but I never imagined it to be this difficult. I finally stopped pacing the living room and sat down on the couch. I wondered if Chandler had mention to them that he saw me. I sat there feeling like a complete loser. I still couldn't fathom that I had deserted my friends. I felt like the worst person in the world. I thought I was ready to face them until I ran into Chandler at the mall. Now all I want to do is run away. I got up off the couch, and decided to finish unpacking my things. In one of the boxes where I kept my personal things, I came across that card again. The card Chandler had snuck into my bag before I left. We had been seeing each other for a month, even when Tommy and I had gotten back to together. No one knew about it. I was starting to feel incredibly guilty about it. The both of us knew that we were wrong. He was in a relationship, and so was I. Our conscious got the better of us and we decided to end it. A part of me didn't want to, but I knew that it was the right thing to do. I still remember that dreadful day.

"Chandler, this isn't right."

"I know. I feel so bad."

"I do too."

"So, are we breaking up?" he asked sadly.

"I guess," I answered with my head down.

I tried to avoid his sad eyes to kee[ from crying. He sat in front of me for a while. He didn't want to move and I didn't want him to. I knew from that day on that once he left my apartment, things would never be the same between us.

"So, where does this leave us?"

"I guess we go back to being friends," I said, finally looking into his eyes.

"I'm not sure if I can handle that, but I can try."

"Well, it shouldn't be too hard. I'm moving to Arizona with Tommy."

"What! Why?"

"Chandler, don't do this."

"I have to go."

He slowly got up and walked out the door. I sat there with tears in my eyes. I didn't want to hurt him, but I did. That day, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out. For months after that, we only said hi, and bye to each other. I couldn't take the tension between us much longer and was eager to move. With our apartments so close to one another, it was impossible to avoid each other. I wanted so much to be with him, but I was really confused. I loved Tommy, but my feelings for Chandler were so strong. Things happened so fast.

I remembered sitting on the airplane looking out the window feeling utterly alone. Tommy got up to use the bathroom. I don't know what made me look in my bag, but I reached between my feet where my bag was, unzipped it and began looking for something. I still can't remember what, and that's when I found it. It was an envelop with a card inside. It was from Chandler. I quickly opened up the envelop and read the card. It was filled with flowers and hearts. It was bigger than the standard card. There was also a boy holding an arrow. On the inside of the card there was a sweet poem that read:

This little card you're reading
Holds the special love we share,
It's part of me,
That goes with you,
Always, everywhere,
 

Love,
Chandler

I smiled, not permitting any tears to fall. I quickly put the card away before Tommy came back to his seat. I felt a little better knowing that he wasn't angry with me, but I still felt incredibly guilty. Now, when I look at the card, I'm filled with so many emotions, one of which is how much I love Chandler. There were many nights I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to him, but I was ashamed. I regretted moving in with Tommy immediately after we arrived in Arizona. We tried to make things work, but I simply didn't love him anymore, and I'm sure he felt the same way. I came home one day ready to tell him that it just wasn't working anymore, but when I walked into the apartment, a woman he had been seeing, came out of our bedroom wrapped in his bathrobe. I was more angry than hurt. For the most part, I felt stupid for even considering to move in with him, and second, I hurt a great guy in the process.

Now I'm dating Steven, who's a great guy, but he's no Chandler. I put the card back in the box and headed out the door. I've been procrastinating long enough. It was time I face the gang.

I didn't tell the gang why I wanted them to meet me at the coffeehouse because I still wasn't convinced that Monica would actually show up. I told them that there was something important that I wanted to talk to them about. When I arrived at the coffeehouse, I sat at the small table near the couch. As soon as I took my seat, I looked at the door, and the gang sat there eagerly awaiting the news. I noticed them staring.

"What?"

"You're the one who told us to come here because you had something to tell us," Ross reminded him.

"Oh, right. Just let me get a couple of expressos first."

I was killing time, hoping that Monica would soon walk through the door. While I was at the counter, the gang huddled to discuss what I probably wanted to tell them.

"So, what do you think it is?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know. You think he's ready to finally come out of the closet?" Joey asked.

"Joey!" Rachel said.

"Well, I don't know."

Monica stood at the window, looking at her friends. She smiled. There were nervous knots in the pit of her stomach, but she approached the door and stood there for a few seconds before entering the coffeehouse.

I returned to the small table with my expressos in hand and sat down. The gang retreated from their huddle. They sat quietly, waiting for me to tell them what was on his mind. Just as I was about to take a gulp of my expresso, I saw Monica standing at the door. My eyes grew wide as if this was the first time I'd seen her in five years. The gang noticed this and they all turned around in unison, all wearing the same expression that I had when I saw her at the mall earlier that day. She walked over to them nervously. She had a lot of explaining to do......
 
 

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