WHEN EMOTIONS RUN DEEP
by Creassya
 

This takes place after The Verdict's In. Jake and his brothers were convicted. The gang is at ease for the time being, but they're all still struggling with what's happened to them, especially Chandler and Monica.
 

Chandler bolts upright suddenly. He had a nightmare for the second time that night. He was frustrated. He got up out of Monica's bed and went into the living room. He sat on the couch looking down at the floor. He was so tired of having nightmares. He just wanted one night to go by without him having nightmares. Lately he's been having a recurring dream about Jake holding the gun to Monica's head and him pulling the trigger. He didn't understand what was happening to him. Jake's trial was over, and Monica got her sight back. He was so irritated and moody lately. Just about everything pissed him off. Monica came out into the living room and sat beside him. He didn't want her to question him about why he didn't wake her. He was afraid that he would snap at her. When he woke up from his nightmare, waking Monica up was the last thing on his mind.

Monica sat beside him and caressed his face. She wanted to ask him why he didn't wake her, but she decided not to. He looked angry, and she didn't want to start a fight. He turned and looked at her, but she said nothing. She was a little scared to. She wished that she had some comforting words for him, but she didn't. She couldn't think of anything to say to him. She removed her hand from his cheek and began caressing his hair and rubbing his neck. She saw the angry expression slowly leave his face and she was satisfied. For months, he'd been there to comfort her, now she felt it was her turn.

"I don't know if this well help, but I love you." She said smiling.

Chandler smiled and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"I love you too. Sorry I didn't wake you."

"It's okay."

"You sure?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah. If you're this angry when you get up, you don't have to wake me. I'll just feel like I'm in the way."

"Are you positively sure?" He asked again.

"Yes."

He leaned on her shoulders and she held him in her arms. She knew that her and Chandler would have to weather some storms, and she was trying to prepare herself. It felt good to be the one who was doing the comforting for a change. For a moment there she felt like her old self again. She wanted to be there for him the way he was there for her, and she figured that this was a good start.

A week later Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe, are at the coffeehouse talking.

"Chandler, just hang in there." Rachel said.

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll get better." Phoebe said.

"I know. It's just that everything pisses me off these days. I'm trying to be understanding and patient, but it's hard. I mean, she doesn't freak out when I'm not in the room when she wakes up now, but she keeps asking me why I don't wake her up anymore when I get up. She told me last week that it was okay if I didn't wake her."

"So what are you gonna do?" Phoebe asked.

"What can I do?"

"Well, you have to tell her how you feel for starters." Rachel said.

"Why? It's not gonna help. She'll just get mad, and then I'll end up apologizing to her."

"Well, she'll probably be this way for a while."

"So you agree that she's too clingy?" He asked.

"Well, yeah, but she has a good reason." Phoebe said.

"Yeah Chandler. She been through hell." Rachel pointed out.

"Well, what about the rest of us? We've been through hell too." He said angrily.

"You're right, but the rest of us didn't lose our sight." Rachel said.

"Me and Ross saw when Jake shot you, but she didn't. She heard you fall to the floor and she thought you were dead. Do you have any idea what that can do to a person?" Phoebe asked.

"I do. When you called Joey and said that he was holding a gun to her head, and we heard the gun go off, we thought that he'd shot Monica in the head. I cried and threw up the whole time, until I knew she was all right." Rachel said.

"I know. It's just so frustrating!" He said.

"Well, you love her right?" Phoebe said.

"Of course I do. She means everything to me."

Later that night Chandler comes into Monica and Rachel's apartment. He was looking for Monica. He called her from the coffeehouse, but there was no answer. He found it strange that he couldn't find her. She's usually right next to him. He walked into her room and found her sitting on the bed reading.

"Hey Mon, I tried calling you but I got the machine. Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"I didn't feel like it."

"Something wrong?" He asked sitting on the bed next to her.

"No. I just needed some time to myself." She said not looking at him.

"Oh." He said frowning his face.

He goes over to the drawer and pulls out his night clothes.

"Um...Chandler, you don't have to spend the night here?"

"You want us to stay across the hall tonight?" He asked.

"You can, but I'll stay here."

"Mon, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I just haven't had the bed to myself since I was in the hospital."

"Okay. You sure you don't want me to stay?" He asked with a slight frown.

"I'm sure. I just need some time alone." She said trying to control her anger.

Chandler didn't understand what was going on. He looked at her, but she kept her eyes on the book she was reading. His feelings were a little hurt. He'd been complaining about her clinging to him too much, and now all of a sudden she wanted some space. He thought it was weird to change that quickly. He stared at her for a few seconds and left. He felt that something was bothering her, so he figured he would give her some time to herself and maybe she'll tell him tomorrow.

The next day Chandler went over to Monica and Rachel's early. He needed to know what was bothering her. When he went into her room, she wasn't there. He was really worried now. He left her room and knocked on Rachel's door. She opened the door wondering why he was knocking so hard.

"Chandler, what's with you this morning?"

"I'm sorry. Have you seen Monica?"

"Chandler, she's at work."

"What?"

"You did know that she was going back today right?"

"No, she didn't mention anything about going back to work."

Rachel knew there was going to be hell to pay now. Chandler's face was a mixture of anger and surprise.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know. I thought she did."

Chandler was hurt and upset. It was obvious that Monica was upset with him, but he didn't know why. He didn't like this. He wasn't use to being away from her this long. He headed off to work and tried calling her at the restaurant but she said she was too busy to talk and hung up on him. He sat in his office the whole day thinking about her. He barely got any work done. He kept trying to think if he had said or done anything in the past week to upset her, but he couldn't think of anything. It was driving him crazy.

When he got home from work, he changed his clothes, and went over to Monica and Rachel's. When he entered the apartment, she was sitting on the couch watching TV. She didn't even turn around to look at him. He walked over and sat on the table in front of her. He was angry, but he tried not to show it.

"Monica, why didn't you tell me you were going back to work?"

"I guess I just forgot." She said not taking her eyes off the TV.

"Monica, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me." She said with a fake smile.

"I know you're upset about something. Can you tell me what it is?"

"I just said that there is nothing wrong? Do you want something to be wrong?"

"No. It's just that, I haven't seen you and when I called you at work today, you didn't even want to talk to me."

"Chandler, it was my first day back to work, I was busy."

"Did I do something to piss you off. I mean it's not like you to be mad at me and not tell me why."

"I'm just going through a hard time right now. You should understand that." She said.

"Monica, can you turn the TV off?"

"Why?"

"Because, we need to talk."

She turned the TV off and leaned back against the couch with her arms folded.

"Okay, let's talk."

"Mon, I wanna know if I did anything to upset you in the past week."

"I told you that I'm just having a hard time right now. I've cried on your shoulders enough. I just need time to myself."

"Mon, I'm always here for you. Why are you acting like this?" He said taking her hand in his.

She pulled away from him and crossed her arms again. He was hurt and confused. He didn't know what was happening to his sweet Monica. She seemed fine the other day. While he was talking to her, she didn't even look at him for more than a few seconds. Whenever he tried to make eye contact she looked away from him.

"Chandler, I'm just a little irritated and I don't feel like being bothered." She said as nicely as she could.

Chandler got up and left the apartment without another word. He walked into his and Joey's apartment and went straight to his room. Joey and Ross watched as Chandler stormed in the apartment and slammed his bedroom door shut. Joey was tempted to go in and see what was bothering him, but he decided to wait until he cooled off. Chandler had a bad temper these days and everyone tip toed around him. He got angry at the slightest things. Everybody pretty much did their own thing these days. Joey felt as if they were all growing apart.

Monica sat in her room thinking about they way Chandler left her apartment. She couldn't help herself. She was so angry and hurt. For the first time in months she didn't want to be around him. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but she knew that the anger she felt wasn't good. She couldn't remember a time where she felt this way about Chandler. She loved him so much, but she was so angry with him. She felt guilty for treating him like that, and she felt liking crying. She was so tired of being on an emotional roller coaster. Every since the explosion, he's been really moody. One day he's sad, the next day, he's really sweet and caring, and then he gets angry just like that. She heard the song So Emotional by Christina Aguilera or the radio, and thought about her and Chandler and what they've bee going through emotionally for the past four months.

SO EMOTIONAL

It's either black or white, that's right
We're making love or we're in a fight
Sometimes you make me so blue
But then it feels so good, I knew it would
You do the things that make me crazy
I want to give it to you

You make me feel so emotional
I can't let go I'm so emotional
I'm sinking fast into an ocean full of you
I'm so emotional

You take me high and low, you know
I'm never sure which way you're gonna go
You're such a mystery to me

But baby, hot or cold
you got a hold
Of my imagination
I think you know what I mean

You make me feel so emotional
I can't let go
I'm so emotional
I'm sinking fast into an ocean full of you
I'm so emotional

Rain is falling down on me
Suddenly the sun comes out
Sometimes north or south of love
But I'm never out, never out
I'm so emotional

Two days later Chandler is waiting at Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica was supposed to be home two hours ago, and he was worried. The two of them had barely said two words to each other for the last couple days. He was determined to have it out with her. When she came in the apartment, Chandler turned around and looked at her. She wasn't expecting him to be there waiting for her.

"Monica, we have to talk."

"Chandler, I just wanna go straight to bed. I'm tired.

"Please Mon."

She went over and sat on the table facing Chandler. She wasn't in the mood to talk. She just wanted to go into her room and go to sleep.

"Okay. I'm listening."

"Monica, please tell me what's bothering you."

"Why? We've already been through this."

"I know, but you're not telling me anything."

"Okay, you want me to tell you something? Fine. You're getting on my nerves. How's that?" She said angrily.

"What the hell has gotten into you?"

"What the hell has gotten into you?" She asked.

"Monica, if I did something, can you please tell me what I did."

"Chandler, go home."

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong?" He said softly.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to be bothered. I don't want to talk. So stop pushing me!"

"I am so sick of this!" He said rising to his feet.

"You're sick of me right?"

"No. I'm sick of this attitude. I love you with all my heart Monica. I've tried so hard to be patient, caring, understanding, and cooperative, but I've had enough. I don't know what you want from me. I'm not allowed to express my feeling because it'll upset you, I can't get angry when something is bothering me, I can't be human in your eyes Monica. You are so selfish. You're so wrapped up in your pain and suffering that you can't stop for a minute to realize there are other people who are in pain and is suffering from what those bastards put us through. It's not all about you Monica. We're all hurting too, and if you weren't being so self centered you would see that too."

"I realize that other people are hurting!" So you obviously think that I'm a cold hearted self centered, selfish bitch is that it?"

"I didn't say that."

"Yes you did. In so many words. And you haven't been that patient, cooperative, and understanding."

"Oh I haven't" He said raising his voice.

"No you haven't. You try to act like you're this saint who can calm me down when I get hysterical, who can stop me from crying, or cheer me up when I'm upset, and you're just pissed because you can't do either of those things now. I don't want your help. I don't need you're help. Why don't you just go back to your apartment and leave me the hell alone!" She shouted.

"With pleasure." He said.

When he slowly walked towards the door and left, she burst into tears. The words he said to her were hurtful and true. She was expecting for everyone to comfort and care for her, especially Chandler. When she realized that, she tried to reach out and comfort her friends, but she didn't try hard enough. She didn't realize that she had so much anger towards Chandler until a few minutes ago. She sat on the table with her head bend low crying loud enough for Chandler to hear her from outside the apartment.

Chandler listened to her loud cries from the other side of the door and his eyes began to water. As angry as he was with her, he still wanting to go in and tell her that he still loves her and to hold her in his arms until she stopped crying, but something stopped him. He was really angry with her for treating him like he was the one who caused her blindness and her pain. How could she treat me like this? He wondered. He didn't want all the things that's happened to them come between them. They had something deeper than a relationship, they had a friendship also. He decided that from this point on, that he wasn't going to give Monica up without a fight.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling. She wished that she could stop the pain herself, but she knew that she had a long way to go. She was tempted to go across the hall and apologize to Chandler, but she didn't. Instead she sat there and cried. She knew that she was wrong for lying to Chandler about what's been bothering her. She hated when they fought. Before the explosion, they hardly raised their voices to each other. She remembered when Chandler became distant with her when he thought that she like her boss. Even then, he didn't accuse her. He didn't get angry with her. Now, he was shouting and calling her selfish. She had never seen him that angry before. What Chandler thought of her was important. She valued his opinions. And for the first time since the explosion, she felt totally alone.......
 
 

WHY IS MONICA SO ANGRY WITH CHANDLER?

STAY TUNED........