CRYING OUT
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by Creassya
 

This takes place after The Arrest. Dave has finally been captured by the police while he was standing over Rachel with a knife. The gang has attended his bail hearing in hopes that he doesn't get released from jail.
 

Monica was extremely nervous. She couldn't deal with all this. She knew that she would go insane if they had to suffer another set back. While the judge was talking, Monica closed her eyes and tuned out his words. She squeezed Chandler's hand. She was almost sure that the judge would set him free. Deep down she knew that it was preposterous, but every time she thought they were safe, something came along to prove her wrong. The whole time witnesses were being called to the stand to testify on behalf on the state, and the defense, Monica thought of a million other things she'd rather be doing. With all that she had endured, she feared a nervous breakdown.

Once all the witnesses were done testifying, the judge began to speak. Chandler was tempted to run out of the room. He had tried to convince the rest of the gang that there was no way that Dave would be released from jail, but now he wasn't so sure. He was a police officer who had literally gotten away with murder, who's to say that he couldn't get away with everything else. He was a highly respected police officer. He could probably buy the judge. He didn't trust the judicial system. Criminals were freed every day. It was the innocent ones who had to suffer.

Ross was thinking about Ben. He hadn't been able to spend much time with him, even when they were allowed to go back to their apartments. He still feared for their lives, and he didn't want to endanger Ben. It was bad enough that they had to deal with one bad cop, but two was more than enough. Seeing Jake point a gun to his sister's head and, watching him shoot Chandler, affected him more than he realized. He had nightmares about him killing Monica, but he didn't tell anyone accept for Faye. He felt extremely helpless watching Jake holding his friends hostage.

While Monica was in her own world, she heard a loud outburst. The judge had made his decision. Her friends remained seated and calm. She didn't hear what was said, and she was afraid to ask what the outcome was.

"Thank God!" Chandler said.

Monica sighed with relief. From what Chandler said, she knew that Dave would remain in custody until after trial. She didn't know who was more dangerous, Dave or Jake. She was just glad that she didn't have to testify at both trials.

Phoebe was at Monica and Rachel's looking after Rachel. Rachel was lying on the couch while Phoebe sat at the kitchen table eating. She was pretty confident that Dave would be released from jail. She got up and went to the refrigerator to get something to drink when the rest of the gang entered. She was afraid to turn around to look at them, but she did.

"He's not getting out!" Joey said going over and hugging Phoebe.

Rachel lifted her head up and smiled.

Chandler had his arm around Monica who was also smiling. The phone rang so Phoebe went to answer it. It was Rachel's dad. He wanted to know the outcome of the bail hearing. Shortly after, Ross and Monica's parents called. They were the only ones who were confident that Dave wouldn't be released from jail.

A week later Chandler and Monica were in their psychiatrist office. Monica was frustrated and this time she showed it.

"Monica, you're not a burden." Chandler said in a controlled voice.

"You're just saying that." She said angrily.

"Monica, why are you picking a fight?"

"I'm not trying to pick a fight, I'm just irritated. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be blind? Do you?" She asked yelling, but still holding onto his arm.

"Of course I don't know what it feels like. If I had a choice, this would be happening to me instead of you."

"Chandler, you know I hate when you say that." She yelled.

Chandler was becoming more and more angry. He was ready to leave, but they still had another half hour left.

"Monica, the two of you have been through hell. It's important that you work together. I know it's hard, but try putting yourself in each other's shoes." Lana Richardson said.

"We've tried that." Chandler said angrily.

"Well, keep trying. I know that it's difficult, but isn't it worth trying?" She asked.

Chandler looked at Monica and melted. He wished that he could restore her sight, and take away the pain, but he couldn't. He looked at her tapping her hand on the couch. He reached over and took her hand in his, and she started crying. Lana observed the two of them carefully each session. They had their share of arguments, but she could see that they truly loved one another. Chandler rubbed her shoulder as she cried in his arms. She thought that he was good at calming her down. They were each other's rock.

"I'm sorry Chandler. I don't mean to yell at you like that."

"I know honey. I know."

"Y'know, if the two of you keep this up, you'll be able to get through this. You might not need me." Lana said smiling.

Chandler and Monica both smiled. Monica knew that she got on his nerves at times, but he was so patient with her, which made her love him even more. Monica sat up straight and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Dr. Richardson, even though I've I'm going through a lot right now, I feel like the luckiest woman alive."

"Why is that?"

"Because I have Chandler. He's been amazing."

Chandler softly kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear.

"I love you Monica."

"The two of you are so cute!" Lana said smiling.

Chandler and Monica were her favorite patients. They had their share of problems, but they didn't let them stand in the way of how important they were to each other and how much they love each other. Often times two people who endure a lot, find it difficult to deal with each other. They're too wrapped up in what's going on in their lives to really love and be there for each other, but not in Chandler and Monica's case. They realized when they were being too self involved and selfish. They worked on their flaws to make things a little easier for them. She knew that they still had a lot of emotional stuff to work through, but they seemed committed to each other and to getting through everything they had been through together. She saw a strength in them that they didn't even know they had.

Chandler laid in bed next to Monica caressing her face as she slept. Sometimes when he looked into her face while she slept, his eyes filled with tears. She could have easily been killed in the explosion that left her blind. He missed her looking into his eyes. He smiled remembering the day they were trapped in the elevator in London. It was the start of their relationship. Once the two of them started talking, being trapped in an elevator wasn't so bad. He remembered everything about that day. He remembered what they wore, the way she wore her hair, her scent, and the way she looked at him when he expressed the way he felt about her. He wasn't sure what would happen with the two of them until she came to his room that night. He remembered when she stopped kissing him to tell him that she loved him too. It brought tears to his eyes. It didn't surprise her, but it surprised him. Crying was something he didn't normally do. He cried a lot more these days. He was thankful that Monica survived the explosion, but he wished that she hadn't lost her sight in the process. He leaned over and softly kissed her forehead, and then her lips. When he turned over to go to sleep, he heard a cry from the other room. He quietly got of bed to go see what was wrong.

When he came out of Monica's room, he saw Rachel standing in her doorway crying. He went over and hugged her. He knew that she had had a nightmare. He walked with her over to the couch and they sat down. She tried to quiet her sobs so that she wouldn't awaken Monica. She laid her head on Chandler's shoulder.

"I hate him. I hate him!" Rachel cried softly.

"It's okay. We all do." He said trying to comfort her.

"I try going to sleep, but I keep seeing his face. I keep seeing that knife."

"I know how you feel." He said holding her.

"I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry Chandler."

"I wasn't sleep. Don't worry about it. It's fine."

Chandler held her in his arms until she drifted off to sleep. He slowly got up and put her legs on the couch. He put a pillow under her head and covered her up. He didn't want to be in the living room away from Monica too long. He knew that if she woke up and didn't find him next to her, she would freak out. Once Rachel was comfortable and fast asleep, he slowly and quietly went back into Monica's room.

The next morning, Monica woke up and felt around the bed for Chandler. When it was apparent that he wasn't in bed, she called his name. When he didn't answer, she started crying loudly and screaming his name. She was afraid that something might have happened to him. She couldn't stop herself from panicking. She didn't understand why Chandler didn't wake her. Something must be wrong she thought. She quickly got out of bed and fell. She didn't bother to get up. She just crawled across the floor crying hysterically. Where could he be? She wondered.

Chandler heard crying. It didn't sound like Rachel this time. He quickly put on his robe and hurried from the bathroom. He saw Rachel coming from her room. They looked at each other knowing that Monica either had a nightmare or she was freaking out because Chandler wasn't there. When he ran into the room he saw her on the floor bawled up in a fetal position.

"Monica, honey, what's wrong?" He asked bending down to pick her up off the floor.

He sat her on the bed and she cried in his arms.

"Where were you?" She yelled at him.

"Honey, I'm here, calm down."

"Why weren't you here? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving!" She said holding on to him tightly.

"I was just in the shower honey."

"You should have told me you were getting up!" She cried louder.

"I kissed you on the cheek before I left the room. You were sleeping so good. I didn't wanna wake you." He said softly.

"I don't care if you wake me." She said burying her head in his chest and tugging on his bathrobe.

"I'm sorry, Mon, I won't do again."

"That's what you said before." She said getting more and more hysterical.

Rachel sat on the couch crying. Monica's cries were getting louder. It was frightening. She was worried about her. She was too weak and sore to go in and help Chandler calm her down. Monica's cries brought back images of the explosion. Rachel closed her eyes and covered her face. While she was crying, Ross and Joey came in. They heard Monica crying hysterically in her room, and they saw Rachel sitting on the couch crying also. They ran over to her wondering what was going on. She was too upset to speak. Joey sat down next to Rachel and held her as she cried. Ross went into Monica's room. When he entered the room, he saw Chandler on the floor holding her and trying to calm her down. Chandler looked up at Ross with tears in his eyes. Ross knelt down beside them and talked to Monica in a calm low voice. The more he spoke, the louder her cries became. Chandler shook his head.

Phoebe walked in and froze. Joey was comforting Rachel while she cried, and Monica was crying and screaming. She didn't know what was going on and she didn't ask. She went into the hallway and closed the door. She sat on the floor with tears in her eyes. The way Monica was crying and seeing Rachel crying, was more than she could handle at the moment. She sat in the hallway by the door with tears streaming down her face. She knew that this would be going on for a long time. Even after the trials. For a while, Monica acted is if everything was okay. She showed no emotion. Now she was in there practically having a nervous breakdown. She knew that she should go in and comfort them, but she didn't have the strength. She didn't want them to see her cry. She wanted to be strong for her friends, but she couldn't. She didn't have nightmares, but she had flashbacks all the time.

Three hours later Monica had finally calmed down. She was lying on the bed listening to Chandler on the phone.

"Hello, Dr. Richardson. This is Chandler."

"Hi Chandler. Is something wrong? You don't usually call me at home."

"We need your help. We need to see you today."

"It's Monica isn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll be there in an hour."

"Thank you." Chandler said.

An hour later Lana arrived. Monica was lying on the couch. Rachel was in her room asleep, and the rest of the gang left. Lana walked over to Monica and knelt down beside her.

"She hasn't said anything in over an hour."

"What happened?" She asked Chandler.

"This morning she woke up screaming and crying because I wasn't in the room with her. I was just in the shower. It took me and her brother three hours to finally calm her down."

"Monica, are you okay now?" She asked her.

Monica didn't say a word.

"I'm worried about her."

"You may think that what happened today was a bad thing, but she had a breakthrough."

"Excuse me?"

"She's no longer hiding her emotions. She used to pretend that everything was okay. She was calm, composed, and lying to herself. She got in touch with her feelings."

"It scared the hell out of me." He said.

He sat on the couch and put Monica's feet on his lap so that he could message her feet.

"Monica has held in her feelings for a while now. It's time for her to let go."

Lana sat on the table looking at Monica.

"I feel like failure." Monica said.

"Why do you feel that way?" Dr. Richardson asked.

"I lost control." She said in a flat voice.

"Do you always have to be in control?"

"Yeah. I can't help it."

"What made you lose control today?"

"I panicked when I woke up and Chandler wasn't there."

"Did you think that something happened to him?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Every time I'm not with him, something bad happens to him."

"Can you give me an example."

"The morning of the explosion. When I left the store he got into a fight with one of Jake's brothers and he could have been killed."

"Go on." Dr. Richardson urged.

"The time that he was going to the police station with Rachel and Ronald, they got into an accident."

"What about the time you were with him?"

"Huh?"

"I'm talking about the time you were here with him being held hostage." She said.

"Oh."

"I've noticed that you were clinging to Chandler more after that incident."

"I thought he was going to die. He shot him. He just turned around and shot him. When I heard him hit the floor...I...I thought....it was over." She said starting to cry again.

Chandler listened as the two of them talked. He was finally starting to understand Monica's need for him to be by her side all the time. He messaged her legs and feet to ease the tension she was feeling.

"I see."

"I feel so helpless not being able to see, and even more helpless not knowing where he is when he leaves."

"Do you think that the next time he leaves out without you, you're never gonna see him alive again?"

"Yeah. I know everybody thinks I'm crazy now."

"We don't think you're crazy Mon." Chandler said softly.

"Monica, what you're feeling and experiencing is perfectly natural. Chandler was almost killed, and more than once."

Monica sat up and reached for Chandler's face. She held his face in her hands.

"Chandler, I'm sorry I've been so crazy. I'm just scared of losing you. I don't know what I would do without you sweetie. I don't mean to be such a pain." She said with tears in her eyes.

Chandler held her tightly in his arms. While hugging him, her arm touched his arm where he'd been shot. The wound hurt a little, but he didn't say anything about it. When they pulled apart, she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Chandler, I want you to try something for a while."

"Okay, I'm listening." He said.

"Whenever you go out, carry your cell phone. Get a beeper. Call her no matter where you are. If you're going to run errands, call her from every place that you visit. When you have to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, get a drink of water, whatever, wake her up. I know this sounds frustrating, but it's the only way that Monica will know that you're alive and safe. This should be done until she gets better. Are you willing to try?"

"Yeah. I'll do it."

Monica seemed satisfied. She was feeling better already. So was Chandler. Seeing the look on her face said that she liked the idea of letting Chandler go places as long as he checked in with her. Chandler had tried to take a leave of absence, but Doug wanted him to keep working. He said that Chandler was one of his best workers, so he gave him work to do at home and had a messenger come to his apartment to pick up his finished work.

A month later, everything was going as planned. Chandler noticed that she still didn't want him to go out without her, but he called her every two minutes. Sometimes he called to make her laugh, or just to tell her that he loved her. She had lightened up a little, but she almost freaked out when she woke up one night and he wasn't by her side. He was getting a shirt out of the drawer. She called his name out loud and he rushed over to her and assured her that he was just across the room and he wasn't going anywhere.

Jake's trial was getting near, and Phoebe dreaded seeing him again. She only had one nightmare about Jake, and that had been the night before. She dreamed that he had kidnapped her and threatened to kill her if she didn't give him all the information he needed on her friends. She still carried around guilt for telling Jake all their business. She thought that he was just being concerned. She had no idea that he was moving in for the kill, and using her to do so. She was on her way to the bathroom when she heard a knock on the door. When she went to open it, Joey was standing there with a bag of food.

"Hey Joey."

"Hey Pheebs. I got you something to eat." He said coming in and sitting down.

"Thanks."

"So, how are you holding up? Y'know with the trial in three weeks."

"Terrible. I just wish they could lock him up without having a trial."

"I know."

"I miss the way things were before all this happened. Everything was so normal." Phoebe said sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, like the time when we messed with Monica and Chandler when they were sneaking around." He said laughing.

"Yeah, I that was so much fun." She said.

"Which part? Playing along with them or beating them at their own game?" He asked smiling.

"Both," Phoebe said laughing.

She couldn't remember the last time she had anything to laugh about. She was glad that he came over. He was the only person who could cheer her up. He didn't have an encounter with Jake and his brothers, nor did he have an encounter with Dave. It was still difficult watching the people he loved the most, falling apart. Monica couldn't manage without Chandler next to her, Rachel had nightmares every night and sleep all day, Phoebe was sad and aloof, Ross was barely seen by his friends because he threw himself into his work, and Chandler was sad all the time. Joey missed his friends.

Two weeks later Chandler was ready to head back to work full time. He sat up in bed trying to get himself together. He rubbed his eyes then he looked over at Monica sleeping peacefully and smiled to himself. She was so beautiful. He realized that he had gotten up a little late, but he didn't care. He stared at Monica for a while. He didn't want to move. He wished that he hadn't told Doug that he was ready to go back to work full time. He didn't think he would be able to handle being away from her for eight hours. He hadn't done that since before the explosion. Looking into her face made him smile. He leaned in and softly kissed her mouth. She stirred a little and than she slowly opened her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her a second time.

"I love you." He whispered to her.

She loved to be awaken with a kiss from him. It made her day. Her eyes were itching so she rubbed them. She opened her eyes again seeing darkness like she had for so many months. Chandler kissed her again, this time a little longer. When he pulled back, Monica opened her eyes and this time, she didn't see the darkness she'd been seeing for months at a time. Her sight was blurry, so she closed her eyes again and reopened them. Each time her vision became less blurry. She saw Chandler in front of her, but she couldn't see his face clearly. He didn't understand what she was doing. He figured that she was just trying to wake up. She closed her eyes again, and when she opened them again, her eyes got wide. She saw the most gorgeous face she'd ever seen. He was gazing at her at first, than his gaze turned into a frown.

Chandler couldn't understand why Monica kept opening and closing her eyes. Then he figured that she probably had something in her eyes until her eyes got wide all of a sudden. He noticed that she seemed to be looking directly at him this time.

"Honey, are you all right?"

"I'm better than all right. You are so gorgeous." She said looking into his eyes and touching his face.
 
 
 
 
 

STAY TUNED GUYS........