'Blind Date'

Well, This is Coming Close to an Ending. Knowing that I am more gutsy than Dan Silverstein (Donna Silverman- Which Ever!) This will have an even more Suprising Ending than His will! (Well, I Can't really *Justify* that) Well, I Decided not to do the Sailing Fic. This would Be Better. Chandler Goes on a Blind Date.... Monica Decides This is gonna Be Nothing More than two People Eating Dinner. She Makes Chandler Look like he's insane. The next Eppy is Just Flashbacks. Actually the next two and Then after those two will be two More and I'm Done. But I'll be doing ANOTHER Series! This one will be three times longer and C&M Won't even be together. Oh, I KNow what your thinking 'How Can this be any good! They aren't even together!' Well, They work in the same place and the hole thing gets nuts. Just, You gotta trust me once in a While! Well, I'm going to begin!



[Chandler is Sitting onn the couch watching TV. Phoebe Comes in out of the Kitchen and She looks hyper.... But exited (Isn't that the same thing?)]

PHOE: Hey!!!!
CHAN: Well, You sound... perky.
PHOE: OK, I Got you on a Blind date!
CHAN: Phoebe....
PHOE: What? You remember Bonnie?
CHAN[Sacastic]: Vaguely...... Bald Head good body.... Yeah. Vaguely.
PHOE: Well, I Got you on a date with her cousin!
CHAN: OK, But I don't Think I will like anyone with the Fact the my wife is dead and haunting me..... And she'll probably Follow me.
[Monica Magically appears next to him on the couch.]
MNCA: Your Totally right.
[Chandler Jumps off the couch.]
CHAN: You *have* to stop that Mon!

[Da da!]
[Hello, enjoy this Show!]

[Chandler is in the bed room standing in front of a mirror, Tying his tie. Monica pops in on the bed.]

MNCA: So.... You Really doin it huh?
CHAN: Yeah......... so?
MNCA: Yeah well isn't it a little soon?
CHAN: No [Said in the Chandler way]
MNCA: I'm Dead.... I Didn't cheat on you!
CHAN: Well... There was that time....
MNCA: Shut up!
CHAN: Mon, I Gotta go.
MNCA: Wait........
CHAN: What.....
MNCA: Do you even know who this woman is? I Mean she could be a psycho and Ki... [Abbruptly Stops]]
CHAN: That's the point of the bind dates. They usally are. You should know more than anyone.... Remember that time when [Stops abruptly] We'll talk about old times when I get home.
MNCA: OK. Bye ....
CHAN: bye.... I Love you.
MNCA: Me too. [He exits] OK, I'll be there in a second dear......... :)

[Chandler is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. Tessa comes in in bunny PJ's (I'm Serious Footies, Ears, The cotton Tail. the whole deal]
TES: Daddy, I Can't sleep. Can you read me a story?
CHAN: I can't.... I Have to..... OK... [Stops] But first you change!
TES: OK!
[Chandler picks her up and walks out the door.]

[A short time lapse. Chandler walks out of Tessa's Door. He stops in the doorway and smiles.]
[Then he walks down the stairs. Phoebe is sitting on the couch talking to a woman. Played by Julia Roberts (Wooo Hoo.... Not even I Saw this coming... Seriously)]
SUSIE[Smiling]: Hey Chandler.
CHAN: Hi......
PHOE: Me and Susie were taking over old times.....
CHAN: So, you've guys known eachother for a while..?
PHOE: Oh no... We Just met today..... We were talking about your hole 'Thong Experience'.
[His Face goes Blank. Susie Gets up and touches his cheek. Chandler backs into a wall.]
CHAN: Don't even think about it.
SUSIE: So What's been up with you lately?
CHAN: A lot.
SUSIE: OK..... You want to leave?
CHAN: Sure.... And I Can Guarantee your not getting me in a bathroom stall.
[They walk out the door.]

[Cut to: A Restraunt. Chandler Has his Face burried in a Menu.]
SUSIE: Chandler...... What's wrong with you? Your not all Peppy and funny...... Are you just getting out of a Relasionship or something..?
CHAN: Something like that......
SUSIE: A Divorce... Death What?
CHAN: Death........ IS that OK?
SUSIE: Oh god, I was just... Oh I'm sorry....
CHAN: It's OK... I Figured Phoebe told you... She Can't keep her mouth shut anyway.
SUSIE: No... I Guess she didn't .... Who died ... Your dog..?
CHAN: Are you trying to be cute..... It's not working....
SUSIE [Caught]: Um, yeah.
CHAN: If you want to know...... It was my wife.....
SUSIE: Are you OK? I mean.... I Would want to die.
CHAN: Well... Who wouldn't ......
[She Smiles widely]
CHAN: So... still got those big teeth.
[she shuts her mouth and Grabs a menu from him and hides her mouth]

[Break]

[Back to Chandler's House..... Phoebe is reading a Magazine... And She picks Up the phone. While the phone is in her hands it rings. Shocked. She Drops the phone on the ground. And then picks it up and Answers it.]
PHOE [In one of her Voices]: Hello, Bing Residents.
CLINT: Phoebe...... Hi.
PHOE: CHAD I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL HERE AGAIN!
CLINT: No... It's Clint......
PHOE: Chad, Stop it......
CLINT: Pheebs it is me....
PHOE: OK Prove it ..... Sing the song.....
CLINT: Not here!
[Cut to Clint.... He's at a navy base. There's a Bunch of men in the backround listening to his call.]
[Cut Back to: Phoebe]
PHOE: I Can't know it's you till you sing the song.......
CLINT: Oh Come on......
PHOE: SING IT!
CLINT: [Sighs][Softly] 'Little Bunny foo foo Was hopping through the forest.....
PHOE: Louder!
CLINT[Loud]: Picking up the feild mice and bumping them on the head.......
[You Can hear a large amount of laughing.....]
PHOE: Oh My God...... It's you... I thought you died I mean I know you didn't... But DAMN YOU CLINT!!!!
CLINT: I Don't blame you for being angry at me but.....
PHOE: Angry? Why Would I Be Angry.... OH Yeah... Because you Faked your death to get away from me! OH Yeah... That's it!
CLINT: I Faked my death because I hated my Life....
PHOE: And me.....
CLINT: I Didn't hate you....
PHOE: You just didn't love me...... Oh that's it.
CLINT: i love you.... Just not like that.
PHOE: Oh, like a friend..... Yeah... I Have a lot of those.
CLINT Phoebe.........
PHOE: What?
CLINT: OK, I did talk to Chad a Couple of Days ago... and he seems to like you a lot.
PHOE: I Want you.... not Chad.
CLINT: Well, Chad is a Doctor... And unlike me he doesn't love you as a Friend.
PHOE: I know this couple.... The Wife was just murdered..... And yet the husband still... is Madly in love with her... why Can't we be like that?
CLINT: Because.. It's not meant to be..... I Gotta go... Bye.
PHOE: Bye....
CLINT: Bye.
[The Phone clicks. And Phoebe Sets her phone down on the couch wth out pressing the off button]

[That Restraunt..... Chandler and Susie are eating dinner......]
SUSIE: So then... He took my car.. and all my money.... I Never saw him again.
CHAN[Looking Weirdly above her head]: Oh, That's nice.
SUSIE: That's Not nice....... That's...... MEAN...
[CHAN Finally snaps out of it]
CHAN: What were you saying?
SUSIE: What's wrong with you?
CHAN: You know how I told you my wife was dead?
SUSIE: Yeah.... So?
CHAN: Um.... She's haunting me.....
SUSIE [Starts Laughing]: Oh.... There you are!
CHAN: I'm serious.....
SUSIE: You can't be... I Mean.... Your kidding right?
[Mon, all the sudden pops in on the tabel.]
MNCA: I can't believe Your telling her this! This is between me, you and Phoebe!
CHAN: And she's on the table.........
SUSIE: Oh my god, You are a riot! [She leans over and Tries to kiss him before she can do That..... Monica pushes her whine... Straight into Susie's lap.
MNCA: oops......
SUSIE: Oh my god.... Look at this dress.... I STOLE THIS FROM WARDROBE!!!!
[The Entire Restraunt stares at her.]
SUSIE: Out of my... Room mates wardrobe.
CHAN: Leave... Damnit.. Leave.....
SUSIE: Why, Guess I Will....
CHAN: No, No No No No Not You Not you... My Wife My Wife...
[The entire Restraunt looks at him... Thinking he's Cheating on his wife]
SUSIE: Well, Chandler... I Don't know what's going on... But I'm going home... [She walks out the door]
[He stands up. Puts some money on the table... The entire Restraunt looks at him....]
CHAN: WHAT??? EAT, YOU PEOPLE! EAT!!!
[He walks out.]


Up Next..... 'Bittersweet Memories (Part1)' What happend to Joey? What was The two marriages like?And why the hell is Joey gone ,exactly? Read he next eppy to find out!