TOW all The Twitching!
by: Ashley

[Here we go. Oh and welcome to my fifth Fan-fic!]

[Phoebe is overheard as The scenes play from the last Episode.]

PHOE: Hello Again! okay here's where we left off From the Last episode. Well, Firstly me and Joey got Kicked out of the Casino.
[Shot of them Getting Dragged out.]
And, Chandler won Monica at a Game of Craps. So they went and Got married.
[Shot of Chandler and Monica kissing under the Craps Table]
Which didn't last long.
[Shot of Richard Kissing Monica, Chandler Walking away, And Monica Slamming the Hotel Room Door]
OH But, I'm not supposed to know that! Then Ross and Rachel Got REALLY Drunk and then Married!
[Shot of them Walking out the Chapel Doors Different ways.]
I'm not supposed to know that either! GOD, everyone keeps Secrets from me! Ugh! Ross Got stuck in a Trash Can.
[Shot of His Legs wailing about out of the can and Joey Tipping the Trash Can over.]
Now I Call Him "Oscar the Grouch" or Smelly Ross. OH and Rachel met this Yummy Guy on the ground. It's Not how it sounds [pause] Oh!. Oh. and no one but me and Joey know that Chandler and Monica Broke up! Oh Look there's something I wasn't the last to know!

[Opening Credits!]

[Commercials]

[Austin Powers : The Spy who shagged me! I recommend this Movie to Party Go-ers Or people with perverted minds (like myself!) and if you don't have a perverted mind.... Don't worry that's all this movie is, Is Perverted. I Give a 9.9 on the "Zingle Scale"]

[SCENE: Girls apartment. A little After Dawn. Monica Steps out of the Bathroom with Hair up a little past her chin, A mess. She cut it her self. That's why it's a Mess (Hell, I Know Courteney Would Refuse to do this! But it's Fan-fiction! I Could make her.... Chest... Area Shoot bullets if I Wanted!(And again with Austin!)) Rachel steps out of room. Still with a hang over. Sees Monica's hair and the expression on her face. She double Takes.]

RACH: Please, Tell me hallucinations are Just and Effect of Hang overs !?!?!?!?!

MON: Well, no. In college I had a few Major Hang overs. The worst Part was the head-ache. And the Dork I woke up next to!

RACH: You never Got Drunk in College!

MON: You never came to the parties because you thought Your dress would ,permanently, Smell like Alcohol. And you just "Couldn't live" With One Damn piece of CLOTHING THAT STINKS!!!!!!!

RACH: Okay. I would probably be Crying at that but, I have a Major Head ache So I chose to pay attention to the ache rather than listen to the woman with the achy voice!

[She walks to the kitchen Pulls out of class. Monica looks insulted and Goes in to her room.]

[Cut to: Monica's Room. Depressed, She sits on the bed. Then, She cover's her face with a pillow and Screams. She Takes the Pillow off her face ,Wipes it off, and Buries her head in it, Softly crying.]

[In the Guys apartment. Joey's Bags are thrown Around he gets up and pulls a samwitch from underneath one of the chairs. The Duck comes up to him and Quacks. Joey Takes a bite of his Samwitch and spits it out.]

JOEY: Bad Duck. I was saving that for when I got back!

[The Phone rings. Joey answers it .]

JOEY: Hello!

CHAN [Depressed, Over the phone.] Hey.

JOEY: Whoa. I Didn't know breaking up with Mon would kill ya!

CHAN: How'd you know that?

JOEY: me and Pheebs Saw it all, man. Sorry.

CHAN: It's OK. Your not her older Ex-boyfriend!

JOEY: Look at the bright side.

CHAN[Curious]: And what would that be?

JOEY: Now your her older Ex-boyfriend.

[Chandler is two Years older than Mon.(Duh!)]

CHAN [Sarcastic] Thanks that Helped.

JOEY: I Always do. Hey, Hold on got another Call.

[He switches Lines. It's Woman.]

WOM: Hello Joey.

JOEY: Hey, How YOU Doin'?

[She Giggles.]

JOEY: Hold on Babe I have to Hang up with my annoying Roommate. How 'bout we throw a party here?

CHAN: JOEY!! Three-way!!!!

JOEY: Crap.

[Cut to: Ross's apartment. He's Sleeping But, He keeps Twitching.]

ROSS: I do. I do I do. Mr. Preacher man. I do. I Do take thee Emily! OH wait sorry Rach![He Twitches] AAAAAAHHH Rachel PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!!!!!!! Put it down [Pause, He Twitches] Hey Em Help me out here. AAAAAAAAAHHH Em Put the Chain saw Down Ah! Ah! AH! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

[He does one Final Twitch and lies Flat. Then He pops out of Bed, Breaths a Sigh of relief. He Twitches Twice and tries to go back to bed but he's still twitching. And He can't Stop.]

[Cut to: Vegas Chandler is at a Beautiful house. Well, Not Beautiful. A garden, A few Trees, And a Very Cozy, Cute, little, House. He Goes Up and knocks on the door. A woman , About the age of 45 answers.]

CHAN: Hi.

MAR: Can I Help you.

CHAN: Yeah. Is Jonathan around?

MAR: Oh, yes he's in the backyard. I'm making him Plant flowers. You can go in the Back if you want.

CHAN: All right.

[He Walks in and Stops.]

CHAN: Mary, Right?

MAR: Yeah.

CHAN: Hi.

[He walks into a Back yard. It has a Pool (Inground) a dog , and a Couple Kids Jumping on the Trampoline. All about the age of ten (3 kids).]

CHAN: DAD!

JON: Chandler! Hey, Boy. How you holdnig up?

CHAN: Um definitely been better.

JON: So, When are you going back to New York?

CHAN: I don't know. I'm Gonna Stay Here and get my head cleared.

JON: Okay.

CHAN: So, who are all those kids?

[Shot of the kids. One has on blue, one Has on red, and one has on yellow.]

JON: The one in the blue shirt is mine.

CHAN: Wow. and the others?

JON: Friends.

CHAN: Oh. I guess that's the end of saying I'm an only child.

JON: Hey, Can we talk.

CHAN: Sure. Why not. I can't get anyone else to listen or anyone else to talk. What's up?

JON: well ........

[Cut to: The Kids on the "Tramp" They aren't Jumping any more.]

RED: Hey Alex, Who the hell is that guy with your dad?

YELL: Yeah he Looks like a Dork.

[Alex hops off the tramp.]

ALEX: Well, I'm gonna find out.

RED: Go Alex Kick his ass!

YELL: Yeah you heard him!

[Over the River and through the woods and Back to New York we go. Joey Phoebe Ross and Rachel Are down at Central Perk. Ross keeps Twitching in the arm chair.]

RACH: What the hell is wrong with you Ross?

ROSS: Well, This morning I had a bad dream and after it I kept [He twitches] twitching. I can't stop.

PHOE: It's Oscar the Freak!

ROSS: Pheebs don't start. Hey ,on a lighter note, where is Chandler and Monica.

JOEY: Chandler stayed in Vegas and Monica is up in her room.

ROSS: Why?

PHOE: Duh! they broke up! Ugh!

RACH: They broke up and I didn't know?

ROSS: They do have a [Twitches] Right to their own [twitches] Pri- [Twitches] Vacy.

[He Grabs on to both sides of arm chair and stops. He lets go and again twitches.]

RACH: I am Taking you to a Doctor. Or Psychologist. Which ever.

[Cut to: Vegas The same house. Chandler and His Dad are walking on a trail.]

JON: Okay. You have to keep it under raps that I'm not gay. Okay?

CHAN: Why?

JON: I Just don't want your Mother to know who I left her for.

CHAN: And who is....

JON: Remember Mary Hensly?

CHAN: Yeah The Woman Mom.. No!

JON: Yep. That's Her!

CHAN: You're Right. Mom would kill you.

[The Kid Running after them heard that. And stands Shocked.]

ALEX: Daddy!

[Jon turns around]

JON: Hey Alex! This is Chandler.

ALEX: Hi, Chandler! I Haven't seen you before!. Why are you looking SO down? Huh? Huh? Why? Why?

CHAN: Talkative Child............

JON: Hey, Alex! You Do remember me telling you about my OTHER wife Right?

ALEX: Right?

JON: Here Meet your Big -Step Brother.

[The kid Looks up at Chandler and Back at his Dad. Totally confused.]

ALEX: Your Pullin My leg.

JON [Jokingly] If I did that I'd rip it off!!

ALEX: get out of Town. Better Yet get HIM outta town.

[Chandler looks at Alex a Little insulted. Jon Gives Alex a Stern Look. ]

ALEX: Sorry, Mister.

CHAN: I am your Brother though.

ALEX: That's okay. But do I HAVE to Tell my friends. they think he's goofy lookin'.

CHAN: Pfffft... Kids.

JON: Okay No you don't have to. Go play!

[Alex Runs off.]

CHAN: Cute kid. He's got good Taste.

JON: Don't mind him.

CHAN: Ok.

JON: I'd Really appreciate it if you said that I am gay. And I Own an all male burlesque

CHAN: okay. I've been doing that for the past 20 years.

JON: Okay thats good. Thanks I Really Really Thank you!

CHAN: Hey I didn't decide anything!

[Commercial Break]

[Okay who wants to see a guy Dancing with a Vacuum?!?! Not me! All though I'd like to try it ......]

[We Fade into see Monica laying awake Staring at the ceiling. Her eyes are Puffy and Blood Shot. She reaches on her Night-stand and Pulls out a bag of "M&m's" Candy. If you are a detail freak, A one pound bag of "Crispy" M&M's (Those are the Best) And Begins eating them. She stops and thinks. She gets up, The screen is black for a Brief Period. Then we hear Screaming]

MON: Damn, Chef outfit! It's always dirty.

[The Screen Fades into The Living Room/Kitchen. The Chef outfit is perfectly white and Clean. Rachel Comes out of her room.]

RACH: Mon, it isn't even dirty!

MON: Oh. Can you go on my Night-Stand and Get those M&M's on the Dresser?

RACH: Ok.

[We cut to: Monica's Room Rachel is just entering.She Picks up the Bag of candy. And steals a piece. Right by the Candies, a Picture is lying flat. She picks it up and looks. Of Course it's Chandler. Rachel picks it up ,Along with the M&M's, and walks out of the room.]

RACH: hey Mon?

MON: Yeah?

RACH: Why was Chandler's Picture on your night-stand. Face down??

MON: I miss him.

RACH: Mon, I Heard what happened.

MON: What ever do you mean Rachel?

RACH: you guys Broke up right?

MON: uuuhhhhhh................

RACH: Please Mon! Don't lie to me.

MON: Yeah.

RACH: Are you ok?

MON: DO I LOOK OK??????

RACH: yeah..........

[Mon Grabs a handful of M&M's and Walks out of the apartment.]

RACH: Can I Have Some????

[Back to the Vegas Hotel. Chandler Has a bag of crispy M&M's on his bed. And is Going through some pictures. (He's at another hotel. They have computers at this one.] He looks at the computer on the Desk Next to him and Gets up. Turns it on and signs on The Internet. A close up of the Computer screen. It Zooms in and Zooms out. Monica is at Joey and Chandler's apartment on Chandler's Lap-top. (Lets Pretend Chandler had that with him when they were robbed. Tay?) It cuts to Chandler's Computer he's in a chat (Oh and Chandler gave Monica her own Screen name. OK and They BOTH have Aol Instant Messenger 2.5) Chandler IM's Her, The conversation:

User4573:Hey.

ChansGrl: Hey.

User4573: How have you been?

ChansGrl: Fine.

User4573: yeah me too.

ChansGrl: Who are you? How did you find my name?

User4573: In the chat.

ChansGrl: Oh.

User4573: So Do you wanna be Chan's Girl Or are you already?

ChansGrl: Kinda both. :)

User4537: So you guys Just broke up?

ChansGrl: Yeah how did you know that?

User4573: Just a Guess. And let me guess. Your sitting at the computer with a Handful of M&M's separated by Colors on the.... Left side of the computer? Blues on the far left then the greens, then the reds , then the yellow's, The Oranges, Then The Dark Brown, Right?

ChansGrl: Who the hell are you and why are you staring at my from my Window??

User4573: Gotta go Visit Family. Bye

ChansGrl: bye.

User4573: I love you.

Then a Little sign pops up that says : User4573 is no Longer signed on. [Mon, Now totally freaked slams the computer shut and leaves.]

[Commercial Break.]

[The Khaki Commercial with the Cool Dwight Yokam Song "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" Where they are all dancing in Khaki's!]

[Ending Scene: Ross is Sleeping. Soundly (no Twitching.]

ROSS: I love you. , Rachel!

ROSS [pretending to be Rachel]: I love you too Ross.

[He makes kissy noises. The lights pop on and there is Rachel Standing there]

RACH: I was uh... Gonna do your Laundry.

[She swallows hard and leaves with nothing. Ross Doesn't know what Happened so he goes Back to sleep. The screen Fades Black and all we can here is: ]

ROSS: OH Rachel ;;;Sigh;;;; I love you so.....
 
 

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on my next fic: Chandler and Monica Still broken up. Monica takes her depression a couple of steps higher (Like wearing his clothes, Sleeping in his clothes, and Finally she starts to.... well, you'll have to read it won't ya? OH and Rachel is Confused By Ross' Dream about her. And Ross is confused about why Rachel won't look him in the eye. Joey and Phoebe, Well, They are always confused. Let's Just leave it at that. Yes I am gonna leave Chandler's dad NOT gay! But, he'll have to crack jokes about it still: (Read above) OH and Once again Feed -back is nice make it as Cruel As Ya want (Just don't go over the Edge Tay?)
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