The One With the Best Couple Issue
[Opening Scene] [Scene: Central Perk. All present]
PHOE: No, no, no! All I’m saying, is that if man was supposed to fly, God would have let her be born with free tickets.
[The others voice their protests]
PHOE: It’s the truth!
ROSS: Oh come on Phoebs, do you think airplanes existed back in the days of the Homo Habilyss?
CHAN: No, but neither did mud wrestling and look how rarely you see a Homo Habilyss now!
RACH: And besides, babies being born with free airplane tickets? Just think how that would HURT!
PHOE: Oh what do YOU know, you never gave birth!
MNCA: Phoebs, just think of how man has come up with a whole other bunch of stuff that no other animal has...
CHAN: Like mud wrestling.
ROSS: Excuse me? Other animals have TOTALLY got the capability to fly!
RACH: [joking] Otherwise the Rescuers wouldn’t ever get anywhere.
JOEY: [pause, snaps fingers] Oh! Animal cargo on airplanes! [off Monica’s look] What? Just because YOU’VE never seen an alligator fly in an airplane it doesn’t mean it isn’t REAL!
[Opening Credits] [Scene: Central Perk. New scene, they’re all there but it’s a different day... you can tell (or could, if this was an actual TV-episode) ‘cause they’re in different clothes]
JOEY: Hey Chandler and Ross, check it out, I got us tickets to the--
CHAN: Mud wrestling?
JOEY: No, the Kicks game tonight.
CHAN: Joey, we have season seats.
JOEY: I thought they expired.
CHAN: I thought you said they DIDN’T!
RACH: Okay, nice to know you two communicate!
JOEY: Anyway, we’d better leave now if we wanna be there in time.
ROSS: Sure.
[The guys all rise. Rachel rises too]
RACH: Oh, before I forget, I left my jacket on your counter Chandler, I should get it now before you leave.
JOEY: That is SO typical! The guy moves in again for three months and already people have forgotten whom also lives there.
PHOE: _I_ know you live there, now have fun at the game, you guys!
[The guys and Rachel all leave]
MNCA: Three months? Wow, it feels so weird... just three months...
PHOE: Felt like years, didn’t it?
MNCA: What? Whom did YOU break up with?
PHOE: No one. I was talking about YOU. [makes a “duh“ noise. pause] So do you miss him allot?
MNCA: No, not at all, actually. [pause] Okay, so it’s a little lonely at nights.
PHOE: And the rest of the time you just feel like crying?
MNCA: No.
PHOE: [annoyed] Oh come on, show some emotion!
MNCA: Actually Phoebs, I passed the crying-phase about two months ago, then it took me a month to get through the “want to kill him” phase.
PHOE: So where are you now? “Love him, miss him, want him right here, right now on the table” phase?
GUNTHER: [walking by behind them] You’ll have to wait ‘till after closing hours to do that.
MNCA: Phoebs. Actually, I’m in denial right now. Then comes bitterness.
PHOE: And after that comes the [like in “TOW Russ“] loooooove.
MNCA: Actually, I believe that then follows the anger phase.
PHOE: I don’t understand why it’s in that order, it’s much easier with the male phases.
MNCA: Speaking of... uhm... you... wouldn’t know if they’ve been... to any strip clubs lately, do you?
PHOE: No, not that I know of, and [accusatory] you want him back!
MNCA: [defensive] No I DON’T!
PHOE: Yes, THAT’S why you wanna know if he’s had a lap dance yet!
MNCA: Phoebe, the guy’s a FRIEND!
PHOE: And so much more!
MNCA: Wait, are you saying that all of a sudden you think I should take him back?
PHOE: No, I’m saying that all of a sudden you WANT him back.
MNCA: Never.
PHOE: Why not, you guys are the best together!
MNCA: We FIGHT when we’re together.
PHOE: Oh come on Monica, it's so OBVIOUS!
MNCA: Oh great. The only friend who's on MY side has now also converted over to the religion of Chandler.
PHOE: What, so you can’t just for a second admit that things were so great when you were going out that you miss it now?
MNCA: Sure, I miss it. But I can have that with someone else, Phoebs.
PHOE: Will that someone else be able to hit all the seven erogenous zones without you telling him to? [off Monica’s look] Yeah, Rachel told me all about that.
MNCA: A good relationship is about allot more than just good sex.
PHOE: Well you have all the rest right there! Good friend, good humour, good... [thinks] computer skills…
MNCA: Not good faith.
PHOE: I should just drop this. It’s obvious I’m getting nowhere with you. You’re like those policemen in “In the Name of the Father“.
[Monica rolls her eyes, displeased with the comparison]
[Cut to: Monica’s] [Phoebe and Monica are there. Rachel enters with her jacket]
RACH: Oh hey.
PHOE: Wow, it took them this long to get to a Knicks game?
RACH: No, they left thirty minutes ago. I stayed and drank up some of their beer and ate Joey’s last bag of Funyuns.
MNCA: [sarcasm] Such cruelty.
RACH: Anyway, I’m just dropping of my jacket and then I’m gonna go get a hamburger. Any of you two want anything?
MNCA: Yeah, how about a set of friends that don’t judge all of my decisions?
RACH: Okay, and if they’re all out of those at “Wendy’s”?
MNCA: A cheeseburger.
RACH: Great.
PHOE: Cheeseburger? That’s what I ate after Duncan left. It’s a sign of depression.
MNCA: Phoebs, if that were true, no hamburger restaurant would ever be placed near a bridge. [beat] I thought we agreed on dropping that subject.
PHOE: It’s just such a shame... I mean you and Chandler... the greatest couple I’VE ever know, all--
RACH: [stopping at the door, turning] Whoa, whoa, whoa... back up the tape there Phoebs.
PHOE: Cheeseburgers are--
RACH: About the couple thing.
PHOE: Do I have to? Monica isn’t happy about me talking about it.
RACH: Monica can shut her mouth or she won’t be getting a cheeseburger.
MNCA: Fine, then I’ll have a Happy Meal.
RACH: I’m not going to “McDonald’s”. Now come on Phoebs, what did I just hear about a great couple? You, you said something about Chandler and then something about a great couple.
PHOE: I said Monica and Chandler make the greatest couple.
RACH: Uhm. Excuse me Phoebs, has your mind perhaps turned of the thinking button?
PHOE: [feels her head] Nope.
RACH: ROSS and _I_ are the greatest couple.
PHOE: You couldn’t even stay together for a YEAR!
RACH: [searching for an argument, points to Monica] Well, THEY couldn’t stay together for TWO years!
MNCA: Hello? I’m in the room, you know. Wait with this discussion until I’ve at least gone to the bathroom.
RACH: Well then, what are you waiting for, go, go!
MNCA: [sighs] Phoebe, tell Rachel she and Ross were a better couple or else none of us are ever gonna get to eat AGAIN!
PHOE: Okay. [to Rachel] You and Ross were a worse couple.
RACH: [not listening really] Thank you. [leaves]
[Cut to: Later] [Monica and Rachel are eating hamburgers]
PHOE: How can you so cruelly support cold-blooded murder?
RACH: How can you just sit here and watch us eat without getting hungry?
PHOE: I’m just fine, while you weren’t watching I took your French fries.
[Rachel’s eyes get wide. Monica sighs and hands Rachel her fries]
MNCA: [to Phoebe, explanatory] It’s just easier that way.
RACH: [gasps] Wait a minute!
MNCA: Good thing Chandler wasn’t here. He’d tell us all to pause for one minute.
RACH: [to Phoebe] You... you said that... before I left...
MNCA: Wow, it REALLY sinks in slowly with you, doesn’t it?
RACH: [to Phoebe, accusatory] You said that we were a WORSE couple!
PHOE: Yeah, so?
MNCA: So you shouldn’t have ADMITTED it!
RACH: [rises, hand over mouth, shocked] I can’t believe you would say such a thing Phoebs!
PHOE: Well I’m sorry. But Monica and Chandler do make a better couple than you and Ross.
[Rachel looks over at Monica, to find out what she thinks]
MNCA: Oh I have no opinion in this case. It’s just silly, ‘cause we’re talking about two couples that are broken up, in the history, over and done with.
PHOE: The more you say it the more you doubt it.
MNCA: [waves the hamburger before Phoebe] Look Phoebs. Hamburger. The more you TALK the more you risk being FORCE-FED it!
PHOE: Okay, okay, fine. Boy, not longer having the stability of a solid relationship sure has made you moodier.
[Monica glares at Phoebe. Phoebe mimics closing her moth with a zipper, locking it and throwing away the key]
RACH: [upset] Unzip that mouth Phoebs, you need to explain to me what this is all about!
PHOE: Look, I--
MNCA: You forgot to unzip.
PHOE: I threw away the KEY, there’s no way I could find an invisible key on your floor! [to Rachel] Can’t we just say that I think Mon made a better couple with--
RACH: Fun Bobby.
PHOE: With Chandler than you did with Ross. Why is this such a big deal to you, you don’t want him back anyhow.
RACH: I know that. Just like Mon doesn’t want HER guy back.
PHOE: [to Monica] See? All the evidence says you want him back.
MNCA: Rachel just said the OPPOSITE.
PHOE: That’s just the beer talking.
RACH: Just, just listen to me, okay Phoebs? You, YOU’RE the one who said Ross and I were lobsters!
PHOE: Of course you are! You’re TOTALLY Ross’s lobster.
RACH: Thank you. So that means were the better couple.
PHOE: Not exactly. You and Ross can never be the best couple, or even together.
MNCA: Why not?
PHOE: Because, Ross is ALLERGIC to lobster. Duh!
[Cut to: Later] [The girls are watching a movie. Rachel is obviously preoccupied thinking of something]
RACH: Well, name one time when Ross and I weren’t cute!
PHOE: When you fighted.
MNCA: And when you decided to be all cuddly... you always overdid it.
RACH: Okay, about the fighting, Ross and I rarely fighted.
MNCA: Each and every time we saw you.
RACH: Yeah. Well we never... over cuddled...
PHOE: All the times you weren’t fighting.
RACH: Come on now, Monica fought with Chandler! I mean... And they cuddled!
MNCA: We rarely cuddled.
PHOE/RACH: Each and every time we saw you.
MNCA: That’s a lie. Now can we please just be quiet and watch the film?
PHOE: What, you’re not gonna deny that whole fighting thing?
MNCA: Deny is ALL I do. Female phase three.
PHOE: Okay, then I’m doing it for you. Rach. Mon and Chandler NEVER fought. More than twice a week.
MNCA: Great, now can I see how the movie finishes?
RACH: Oh, just read the TV-guide if it’s that important to you!
PHOE: Well maybe she’s out of a TV-guide ‘cause she doesn’t want to steal Chandler’s cause it feels bad.
MNCA: [sighs] Can’t we just... call it a tie? Both couples were exactly as good!
RACH: [realizes] My god... Phoebe’s right... Chandler has TOTALLY messed you up. You have no sense of competition... [stressed, to Phoebe] Quick, what’s the number for 911?
[Cut to: Later] [The guys return from the Knicks game. Phoebe and Rachel turn around to greet them. Monica keeps watching. Various hellos are extended]
PHOE: So how’d it go?
JOEY: Knicks won, baby!
PHOE: I know, but how did the walk home go? Did you see any pelicans?
ROSS: No. Should we have?
PHOE: I was just curious.
RACH: Ross! Phoebe claims you and I weren’t a great couple.
PHOE: [sighs] I never said that. All I said was that there are other couples that are better!
RACH: Maybe that’s what you SAID, you MEANT something else.
CHAN: [joking] Face it Rach... Romeo and Juliet will always win the great couple battle.
PHOE: Not anymore, they’ve got competition.
CHAN: Wait, don’t, don’t tell me... let me guess... [thinks] Jack and Rose from “Titanic”?
PHOE: No.
JOEY: Yeah, come on Chandler, they were no great. They DIED.
ROSS: So did Romeo and Juliet.
RACH: Besides, JACK died. Rose made it.
JOEY: I need to start paying more attention when I watch movies. [thinks] In which of those movies did DiCaprio die?
CHAN: Pay attention? Oh, you mean like Monica?
[He gestures over to her. She has still not made a single move to greet the others]
ROSS: Monica?
MNCA: Be quiet, I’m watching a movie.
CHAN: [sarcasm] You know, they DO say the most important part of the film is the ending credits.
[Monica sighs and shuts the TV off]
ROSS: Once the TV’s off she’ll be back to normal again.
JOEY: [curious] So tell me Phoebs, who’s this... great couple?
MNCA: If you’re gonna tell him Phoebs, then I’m gonna get out of here ‘cause I’ve heard it all night. [rises]
CHAN: Oh, that old competitiveness resurfacing again, huh?
MNCA: No, ‘cause she’s talking about US.
CHAN: Us? You and me us?
MNCA: [sarcasm] No, the Mulder and Scully us.
RACH: Yeah, meet the new Monica. The ANTI-competitive Monica.
JOEY: [recoils] Whoa, I’m not getting near no alien!
MNCA: What?
JOEY: Aliens! Aliens have possessed your body!
CHAN: Okay, just out of curiosity, did that happen before or after we broke up?
MNCA: I’m pretty sure it was after. Not that you would have noticed it if it happened while we were together. [goes to her bedroom]
ROSS: And the championship belt goes to my sister, for getting in the most punches.
JOEY: What?
CHAN: She got in ONE.
ROSS: And what did YOU get?
CHAN: I got to take it and keep a good face.
ROSS: So she wins.
CHAN: No, ‘cause I... thought a whole bunch of testy comments.
PHOE: [touched] Aww, that’s so cute!
RACH: How is that CUTE? If that’s cute then Ross and I are the best couple EVER! All we do is take cheap shots at each other!
ROSS: At least that’s all YOU do, I happen to be an adult.
RACH: [lame, as if proving point] See?
CHAN: Before this gets anymore insane, I’m gonna go to bed. Goodnight guys.
PHOE: Oh, oh, are you gonna go dream sex dreams about Mon?
CHAN: No... although that DOES sound like a cool idea... [long pause] Okay, bye. [leaves]
[Commercial Break] [Scene: Monica’s, the next day. Everybody’s having breakfast. Monica’s in her robe and Chandler just enters. He sees Monica in the robe and stares at her for a few seconds]
MNCA: [dry] And a good morning to you to. Would you perhaps like to see what I’m wearing UNDERNEATH the robe?
JOEY: [raises hand] _I_ would.
MNCA: [to Chandler] Sit.
CHAN: If I do, will you take the robe of?
MNCA: In front of my brother, what, are you crazy?
JOEY: That’s okay sweetheart, I can walk you to your bedroom and you can take it off in there!
MNCA: Joey, what have I told you about flirting before breakfast?
JOEY: [ashamed] Yeah, all right!
RACH: So Phoebs, tell me again, what ever possessed you to think like that?
PHOE: [bored of the subject] Personal taste. Ross, could you pass me the jam?
ROSS: Sure. [does so] Oh, and if you decide you want marmalade instead then hand the jam to Rachel, I’m sure she can exchange it for you.
PHOE: [proving point] See? You never hear Chandler and Monica say stuff like that to each other.
MNCA: And you never hear Chandler and Monica telling you to talk about our relationship either.
CHAN: [sits] I think she’s right.
PHOE: Y, you do?
CHAN: Yeah. Enough already.
MNCA: Thanks Chandler.
CHAN: No problem.
[She gets him a bowl and some milk. Phoebe watches, happily smiling. When Monica notices this she hands the bowl and milk to Joey instead]
JOEY: Uh, I already ate... but thanks anyway.
MNCA: Have some cereal with that.
CHAN: Hello, what about my breakfast?
MNCA: You can get some for yourself.
CHAN: Well, I’m here now, can’t I eat it here?
MNCA: Can’t you get it for yourself?
CHAN: Fine! [rises and leaves]
MNCA: Fine!
RACH: Uh, Mon, he can’t hear you.
[Monica storms to her bedroom and slams the door shut. Joey rises]
JOEY: I’m gonna go help her take her robe off!
PHOE: Isn’t it GREAT? I’m telling you, Monica is SO taking Chandler back!
[Cut to: Central Perk] [Chandler’s there. Ross enters, dragging Joey by the ear]
JOEY: Ouch! Ouch! Ow!
CHAN: [sarcasm, feigned hope] Wow, ear-dragging, can I help?
ROSS: [sits, let’s Joey go] He tried to get into Monica’s bedroom while she was dressing. I had to stop him.
JOEY: [whiney] He wasn’t very good at it, so Phoebe kicked me where it hurts!
CHAN: Crime doesn’t pay, Joe.
PHOE: [entering] Hello!
JOEY: [nervous] Uh-oh! Quick, any of you guys have a jockstrap?
CHAN: [sarcasm] Check my purse, I usually carry one around.
PHOE: [sits] Chandler, not to get your hopes up, but Monica--
CHAN: No! Stop it! I don’t want to hear what you have to say! Monica and I are over. Can’t get started with all that stuff again, she’s crushed me, like, sixty-six times the past three months!
JOEY: Wow, you kept count?
CHAN: Yeah. Although sixty-six is a big exaggerated. [pause] It was forty-five times.
ROSS: [sarcasm] A great relief.
PHOE: Oh, then this is just great. Just great. Now I have to convince BOTH of you to get your hearts to work like they should again.
CHAN: Well, you know what they say… heal a broken heart with superglue...
PHOE: Okay, I don’t have any of that with me. But would... say... a cup of coffee work?
CHAN: What, I’m gonna give my heart third-degree BURNS? No thanks.
PHOE: Go take her out to coffee. Talk to her.
CHAN: I see you’ve missed the latest act in the “Chandler and Monica” play. See, we don’t talk.
JOEY: Wow, there’s a play called “Chandler and Monica”? That’s so frequish!
CHAN: Yeah, well that’s just the official name. The real name is “Butt out of Chandler and Monica’s life”.
JOEY: I am DEFIANTLY gonna go see that!
[Cut to: Monica’s] [Rachel is reading on the couch. Monica is on the armchair with a book, but she’s not reading. She’s staring into space, thinking]
RACH: Mon?
MNCA: What?
RACH: Okay, so although Jessica is the one who found the necklace, Elisabeth now has it?
MNCA: [sighs] Aren’t you to old to be reading “Sweet Valley Twins and Friends”?
RACH: Phoebe tipped me to read this one. [waves with the book]
[Monica’s quiet for a few seconds. Rachel goes back to reading]
MNCA: Rach?
RACH: Yeah?
MNCA: Can I ask you something?
RACH: [puts the book away] Sure.
MNCA: When… [hesitates] Never mind.
RACH: What, you’re gonna ask PHOEBE instead?
MNCA: No… I can only ask YOU this.
RACH: [triumphant] Ha, ha! She can claim I’m not the one who had the best relationship, but I’m still a better friend than she is!
MNCA: [distant] Sure...
RACH: So what was it that you wanted to ask?
MNCA: [hesitates] I... well...
RACH: Oh come on, I wanna find out what happens next in the book!
MNCA: If... Rachel, if my brother had wanted you back after you guys broke up... the FIRST time... and if he’d asked you to take him back over and over again, would you have?
RACH: No. Defiantly not.
MNCA: Oh...
RACH: But I can tell you, honey... now, with a few years of perspective... I would have regretted it so badly if I hadn’t taken him back. [pause, realizes] Oh gosh, I should never have told you that!
MNCA: Why not?
RACH: Because, it’s just so much easier to claim you’re not as great a couple as me and Ross when you’re not dating!
[Cut to: Central Perk]
ROSS: Phoebs, can I ask you something?
PHOE: [sheepish] Yeah, I admit it, I made my hair blonder!
ROSS: No, actually I was kinda’ wondering... Well, Chandler just left so he can’t complain about me asking you this... what was it you wanted to tell him about my sister?
PHOE: Yeah, that’s more something that HE should know.
[Ross looks confused]
JOEY: He didn’t WANT to know. Gosh, you know, it feels like our lives have been circling round their relationship for a while now… why is that? Personally, I’d rather never talk about it again and go out to find a woman.
ROSS: A woman for a relationship of your own, or a woman to share your bed with just for one night?
JOEY: Well, I’ve realized that maybe I’m not always fair to women... nowadays, I spend at LEAST TWO nights with them.
PHOE: Ah, so they can feel like they’ve been taken advantage of more than ONCE. Good thinking.
ROSS: Hey, I’D rather have Joey’s sex life than my own.
JOEY: You’re not the only one, Ross. I bet every other guy out there says the same thing.
PHOE: Guys, guys, what is this thing about you and sex? Go find a hooker and stop complaining.
JOEY: [proud] I don’t need to, the two hookers I’ve slept with slept with me for free!
PHOE: Okay. Yeah, then I see how allot of guys might want your sex life, yeah. But can we switch subjects, please?
ROSS: Uhm, sure! [exited] I can tell you about that new bone we just got in at work!
PHOE: [turns to Joey, all of a sudden interested] So two hookers, huh?
[Cut to: Chandler and Joey’s] [Chandler’s alone. Monica enters]
CHAN: Joey’s not here.
MNCA: Actually, I came to see you. Do you have a minute?
CHAN: For you? Sure. [rises] What’s up?
MNCA: See, I kinda’ need to talk to you about this thing... you and me.
CHAN: Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! You’re not bringing that up! I finally started listen to everybody and that means you can’t talk to me about that.
MNCA: But Chandler, would you just listen? I--
CHAN: Just give me the box of the stuff I forgot, or whatever it is that you wanted to talk to me about.
MNCA: No, it’s not about something you left.
CHAN: Monica, [repeating her words] if we are going to stay friends then you can’t keep bringing the subject of us up.
MNCA: But I-- [thinks the better of it] You’re right. I’m sorry. I can tell you this later on. Sorry. Bye! [leaves]
CHAN: [sits in a recliner, his thoughts] Well that went pretty well, didn’t it? I sure told her. Now she’ll NEVER take me back. [realizes] Oh dear lord, what have I done?
[He darts up from his chair and races out the door]
[Cut to: Monica’s]
CHAN: [enters, out of breath] Rachel? Where the heck is Monica?
RACH: Monica? [sad] Now you blew it Rach. [to Chandler, grumpy] Yeah, she’s out on the balcony. Bye. [leaves]
[Chandler oddly eyes her for a second, then he goes out to Monica. She’s having ice-cream with two spoons]
CHAN: Ice cream? Wow, I guess I should have heard you out.
[Monica turns at the sound of his voice]
CHAN: Hi.
MNCA: I was hoping you’d come.
CHAN: [points to the ice cream] Is it Ted?
MNCA: His name’s Tom. And no, it’s not him. He’s in Vancouver.
CHAN: Like I care. [stands next to her] Can I have a spoon?
MNCA: [shrugs shoulders] Go ahead.
[He takes one. They stand there quietly for a few seconds, eating ice cream and staring out in the night]
CHAN: I’m sorry that I’m such a pig. You said you needed to talk. I automatically assumed it was about you and me.
MNCA: Because I said that it was?
CHAN: You did? Well then I guess I’m not such a bastard after all. And PLEASE don’t bring up the Cornwall incident again. I hate to talk about that. I hate Cornwall.
MNCA: And I hate the hotel there.
[They laugh nervously]
CHAN: So... you said you needed to talk?
MNCA: Am I making a mistake, Chandler? CHAN: You, you want my opinion? Well, uh, don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean what it is you’re asking about, but let me just say that [with feeling] it is VERY HUMAN to make mistakes.
MNCA: Thanks... I guess... you didn’t help me at all, but... thanks.
CHAN: So what is it that we’re talking about?
MNCA: Another question.
CHAN: I feel like I’m on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”.
MNCA: Do you wanna hear the question or not?
CHAN: [sarcasm] I forgot, what money level am I at?
MNCA: [annoyed] You know, if you’re just gonna make fun, then the way out is right there! [points with her spoon]
CHAN: Sorry... and be careful with a spoon, those things can KILL. And if you don’t believe me, watch “Murder in the First”.
MNCA: Well... Kevin Bacon IS hot, but...
CHAN: ... but you had something else you wanted to ask me.
MNCA: I made a statement, I didn’t ask a question. Anyway, does history always repeat itself?
CHAN: Yes, if you ask ABBA. [pause] Otherwise it depends.
MNCA: Something else... can you get past everything? Put everything behind you?
CHAN: Yes, Mon you HAVE to! I’m talking as one of the greatest experts there are, here! I mean, I’m well aware that if I don’t get past you and put what once was between us behind me then I’m screwed.
MNCA: You don’t have to forget, Chandler. That’s the beautiful thing with relationships, they give you moments that you’ll NEVER forget.
CHAN: If I remember all of those then I can’t get over you.
MNCA: As long as you keep the real special ones, I’m happy.
CHAN: Well... I mean... the first time I heard you say you love me, that’s something that I will never forget.
MNCA: You, uhm... ready for the million-dollar question?
CHAN: I dunno... [thinks] have I used up the right to ask the audience?
MNCA: No, you haven’t. Uhm... [hesitates, then] Do you think I should take you back?
CHAN: [shocked over the question] Wow! I mean... Well, my first reply is “right this second”...
MNCA: And... and your second reply?
CHAN: ... is “take me to bed, or loose me forever”. But Mon, I... gosh, I can’t believe what I’m about to say here... As someone other than me... I mean... If let’s say [bitter] Tom [normal] would have been the one in my position, and with the same relationship background with you... then I would tell you to forget it. Because you never know if he might do it again.
MNCA: Will you do it again?
CHAN: I can’t believe I even did it ONCE.
MNCA: Can I trust that? I don’t know exactly how far you’d go to get me back now that you have the chance. That sounded really self involved, but, you know...
CHAN: [laughs half heartedly] Tomorrow I’m gonna be kicking myself for ever telling you that.
MNCA: Uhm, listen... don’t, okay?
CHAN: I pretty much just blew my chance to get you to reconsider me as a boyfriend. Why shouldn’t I be mad at myself?
MNCA: Because you’re honest with me. Thank you for that. [pause] In a relationship, trust is one of the most important things. You wrecked my trust in you. That’s the problem now. The kiss itself... I know _I_ could never have kissed another, but I think I could manage to put that behind me. And I can’t think about the look, that would drive me insane. The trust is the issue here.
CHAN: [puts his spoon in the ice cream, leaving it there] Monica. You can trust me, okay? I swear to you, I will never even LOOK at another woman unless you say it’s okay.
MNCA: What’s the answer, Chandler? Yes or no? Should I take you back?
CHAN: You should... do what your heart tells you is right.
MNCA: I should?
[She sticks her spoon in the ice cream too and turns to him. She makes a move to leave the balcony, then thinks the better of it. She kisses him carefully instead. The last chorus of Take That’s “Back for Good” starts to play as their lips touch. Chandler puts an arm around her and draws her closer. The kiss gets more intense as Monica wraps her arms around his neck. He strokes her hair with his other hand. With the line “I guess now it’s time that you came back for good”, the screen fades to black and then the...]
[Closing Credits]
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are playing the Angry Game. If you don’t watch “Luuk”, or you’re just not familiar with the game, I can tell you that the point of the game is that you’re supposed to stare at each other without talking. The first one to laugh or show their teeth looses. Phoebe and Joey continue to stare blankly at each other for about thirty seconds and then Joey breaks into laughter. Phoebe triumphs]