[Opening Scene]

[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Joey are there]
ROSS: So then they found this little… thing that you wouldn’t know what it was if I said the name of it… that shows that the Tyrannosaurus Rex might have actually had feathers.
JOEY: Wow… so what are you saying, our duck is what the Tyrannosaurus turned into?
ROSS: What?
JOEY: Well, you just said--
ROSS: Joey, Joey, if you consider how small your duck is… and then compare it to how large a Rex was…
JOEY: Ross, we’re not talking about some stupid dog named Rex here, we’re talking about that big thing that ate the running things in “Jurassic Park”.
ROSS: Okay, remind me here, why am I bothering telling you this?

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: Phoebe and Monica are there. And Chandler, only he’s asleep on the couch]
PHOE: So I guess you can say nothing more happened.
MNCA: Well I’m glad you decided not to. It would only ‘cause trouble if you got together and it ended.
PHOE: I know.
MNCA: So how did the job search go?
PHOE: [exited] Oh! Oh! Do you know that great hospital downtown where they were looking for people to give patients massages?
MNCA: Uh-hu.
PHOE: Yeah, they thought I sucked. But, see there’s this, this other place where I think I might get a job. Some new massage-business a few blocks away.
MNCA: Wow, that’s really something Phoebs.
[There’s a pause. Monica looks over at Chandler]
PHOE: Okay, and since I’m your friend, could I please find out what that look meant?
MNCA: Okay. It meant that I hope he’ll wake up soon and go home.
PHOE: No it didn’t, you had another look in your face.
MNCA: No, I don’t think so.
PHOE: Oh, by the way, while we’re on the subject of Chandler--
MNCA: [denial] Hey, we’re not on a Chandler subject!
PHOE: Okay, whatever. I just wanted you to know, that Chandler and I… well, we… well I’m not… Okay, it’s not that I’m not mad at him anymore, it’s… [sits, hides face in hands, frustrated] Oh, this is so hard!
MNCA: Phoebe, what is the matter? Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.
PHOE: Well, you know I’m still angry with him for cheating on you. Well, see I’ve been feeling kinda’ sorry for him these past few weeks, totally against my will, so I’ve… sort of buried the hatchet.
MNCA: Oh… [sits] Well Phoebe, that’s okay.
PHOE: It is?
MNCA: Yeah. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? I know I’m still mad, but I don’t want you two going around hating each other for the rest of your lives.
PHOE: Oh wow, you’re so great, thanks! [hugs her]
JOEY: [enters] Oh wow… should I come back later?
MNCA: [breaks from the hug] Come on in, Joey.
JOEY: [sees Chandler] You got Chandler to fall asleep? What did you do, pump him full of sedatives?
MNCA: [confused] No… he just fell asleep as soon as he came over… Not exactly the nicest company one could ask for.
JOEY: Well you know, that’s strange. He never sleeps at night.
MNCA: Then I don’t think it’s strange.
JOEY: [shrugs shoulders] Okay, well could I wake him up? He’s taking up all the couch-space!
MNCA: Go ahead.
PHOE: No!
JOEY: No?
PHOE: No. [pause] Let Monica wake him up, that would be more fun.

[Cut to: Central Perk]
[Ross, Chandler and Rachel are there]
RACH: Wow, Chandler, you look awfully tired.
CHAN: Yeah, tell me about it… barely sleeping for sex weeks can do that to you some times.
ROSS: Why aren’t you sleeping? [beat] Wait, wait, don’t tell me. It’s my sister, isn’t it? Face it man, you--
CHAN: Ross, just a question. How come you’re on my side when you talk to Monica, and on her side when you talk to me?
ROSS: I don’t-- [gives up] okay, how did you know that?
CHAN: Monica and I do talk, you know.
RACH: Wow, that’s more than I knew.
CHAN: Okay, so we don’t actually talk anymore. I kinda’ ruined that aspect ‘cause I only talked about what we shared. Now we e-mail each other.
RACH: [rises] Well, as exiting as this conversation may be, I’d rather be at a dental appointment than listening to this for another two minutes, so consider me gone.
CHAN: Did you know I once wanted to be a dentist? Then I realized you have to feel people’s stinky bad breaths all day long.
ROSS: What? I thought you said in college that you wanted to be an astronaut.
CHAN: Yes, when I was drunk. And you replied that being a cosmonaut would be so much cooler.
RACH: Bye you guys.
ROSS: Bye.
[Rachel leaves]
CHAN: I wonder if I’ll ever get some use out of my education.
ROSS: Come on man, you can do much more that just that. I mean, think of whom your mother is. You could be a writer in no time, and you’d be guaranteed a published book.
CHAN: Yes, but Ross, unlike my mother I needed to study the alphabet before an English test, okay? So maybe writing isn’t my strong side, you know.
ROSS: So be a play-writer like your father.
CHAN: [feigned seriousness] Yeah, that could be pretty cool. [sarcasm] Especially since that doesn’t have anything to do with writing.
ROSS: Okay, okay. [pause] Hey. Maybe I should try writing?
CHAN: You?
ROSS: Yeah. Why not?
CHAN: Because you know nothing at all about writing?
ROSS: Well I’ll never know unless I try!
CHAN: No, I believe in your case that is “I’ll never fail unless I try”.
ROSS: Fine, be sarcastic. But I think I’m gonna give it a shot.
CHAN: Okay. But I must warn you, writing a book is allot harder than writing a paper on fossils. A book takes years. Sidney Sheldon didn’t exactly throw together “Master of the Game” in thirty minutes.
ROSS: Yeah, you make fun. I believe in this idea. Now, let’s se… What should I write about?
CHAN: I suggest you write a letter to a shrink first.
ROSS: That coming from you.
MNCA: [entering with Phoebe] Hey guys.
ROSS: Hey.
[Phoebe and Monica go over to the counter to order]
ROSS: Anyway, I think I have two different choices on what to write about, don’t you think so Chandler?
[He turns and looks at Chandler, who’s fallen asleep]
ROSS: [sarcasm] Gee, thanks for listening, bud.
[Monica and Phoebe come over and sit]
PHOE: Ha! I knew it!  I knew I wasn’t the only one who can sleep in a public place!
ROSS: Well, can you fall asleep in two seconds? He sure can.
MNCA: So what’s going on here? Anything special, or should we just tell you the story of how Phoebe didn’t get a job?
ROSS: Actually, I’ve decided to write a book.
[Phoebe and Monica share a look, then they laugh]
ROSS: What? What is so funny? And keep it down, Chandler seems to be needing that sleep.
MNCA: Ross, honey, Chandler was just at my place and the only thing he did was sleep.
PHOE: No, see  now you’re not being fare, he did allot more than just sleep, he worked perfectly as a coat hanger!
MNCA: [trying to contain laughter] So what’s the book gonna be about?
ROSS: I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet.
MNCA: [amused] Well let me know the second you decide, okay?
ROSS: Okay.
PHOE: Oh! I know! You can write a book about the magical female hero Lara, who comes to the land… [to Monica] where did Mio come from? [to Ross] Anyway, she comes to that land and, like, slays the vicious dragon! And then she gets to marry the handsome prince from another book.
ROSS: [sighs] Phoebs, how many times do I have to tell you, there are no such thing as dragons.
PHOE: I know, but there are no such thing as a dinosaur either, and yet you devote your life to find out more about them.
ROSS: Only the difference is dinosaurs have actually existed.
PHOE: I know, and so has dragons.
MNCA: Okay, before you guys get caught up in another weird debate, may I just say that there’s  no point in discussing? You have different believes, let’s just leave it at that.
PHOE: Wow that’s so weird, you’ve never meddled in any of our fights before!
MNCA: Well, I get all the fighting I need from my own pathetic life, I don’t think I need to get even more from you guys. [rises and goes to the bathroom]
ROSS: Can I ask you a question?
PHOE: Sure.
ROSS: Did you guys ever get the feeling, after Rachel and I broke up, that maybe we should just get on with our lives, back together or stop whining?
PHOE: [shakes head] No. I did get that feeling when you divorced Carol, though.
ROSS: Phoebs.
PHOE: Well, you know, all Rachel and you did was fight. Why are you asking this, by the way?
ROSS: [stating the obvious] Because of the other couple who’s just ended and are bitching about it?
PHOE: [thinks] Joey and Dawson?
ROSS: [scoffs] No, come on. They broke up ages ago!

[Cut to:  Later]
[Chandler’s left, Joey’s arrived]
ROSS: Man, this is so hard! I can’t decide weather to write the book about--
JOEY: Ah, Ross, since you haven’t made up your mind, could we please not hear about it?
ROSS: [rises] Fine. I’m gonna get some coffee.
PHOE: [rises] Oh, I could use another cup of coffee too!
[She and Ross go over to the counter. Joey moves closer to Monica]
MNCA: So have they found another lead actress yet?  Only have two more episodes left, thank god.
JOEY: What? Okay, okay, can I ask you something?
MNCA: Okay.
JOEY: How are things now between you and--
MNCA: [whines] Oh, Joey! Come on now, I’m so sick of hearing that all the time! Why can’t you all just accept our decision and… and respect it?
JOEY: Because maybe this is what you want, but it sure isn’t what he wants and it’s not what you want either!
MNCA: I’m confused.
JOEY: Mon. You have to admit that you know he’s unhappy. After all, he spends half his time trying to win you back.
MNCA: Joey. The guy falls asleep as soon as I’m less than fifty feet away. I think I can safely say that we’re both just fine with being just friends again.
JOEY: And you don’t think--
MNCA: No Joey. No.
JOEY: [moves back to where he was sitting] Okay… fine… your loss.
MNCA: And what the hell is that supposed to mean?
JOEY: Nothing, no…
MNCA: Joey. Spill it. You know you can’t keep quiet for long if I ask you to talk.
JOEY: Well, it’s just that I think… no, never mind.
MNCA: [calm, sad] I don’t get this. I just don’t. When Ross and Rachel split, everybody thought it was so terrible that Ross had cheated. Now that Chandler and I break up for the same reasons, everyone’s telling me to get over myself and start acting like an adult. What’s the difference between what Chandler did to me and what my brother did to Rachel?
JOEY: Because… I’ve never really thought of that. But it just seems to me that you guys were a great couple. Why not give that a second change?
MNCA: [slight sarcasm] Yeah, great idea, why don’t I give him another chance to break my heart, the pain has just started to easen so I could use some new sadness.
JOEY: Monica… You’re too good to just sit around and hope for somebody else to come along when you have someone right for you just a word away.
MNCA: No. I’m too good to wake up one day next to a cheater and wonder where the hell my life went.
[She gets up and leaves. Phoebe and Ross come back to the couch with coffee]
PHOE: Where did Monica hurry off to?
JOEY: [ashamed] Uh, laundry?
PHOE: [firm] Joey. What did you do?
JOEY: Well, nothing really. I just asked her how things were between her and Chandler. That’s all.
ROSS: That’s stupid.
PHOE: Yeah Joey, you know she hates to discuss that!
JOEY: You know what guys? I think we’ve been siding with Chandler too much.
PHOE: I haven’t, I’ve clogged him in the face.
JOEY: Well, she didn’t exactly say it, but I think Monica feels that we’ve abandoned her.
ROSS: Why would she feel like that?
PHOE: Because Chandler was the one who messed it up and you guys are all acting like it was Monica?
ROSS: Well, she was the one to break up.
PHOE: Yeah, because he couldn’t keep the distance to other women. She made the right decision. And by the way, that relationship was over the second Chandler chose to kiss that girl. Monica just spoke the words. The species was already doomed, she just let the last animal die.
ROSS: What?
JOEY: Guys?
ROSS: Phoebe, you can’t be serious! Come on now, it was just a kiss! Monica should have gotten past this by now, if she really loved him she would have!
PHOE: If she really loved him the betrayal hurt so much more.
JOEY: [cutting in] Guys, you don’t feel like it’s not something we should be discussing? I mean, I think she just made me realize something.
ROSS: Never date your brother’s friend?
JOEY: No! I don’t have a brother.
PHOE: So was the thing she wanted you to realize that you shouldn’t date your sister’s friend?
JOEY: I don’t think she was trying to make me realize anything… she was--
ROSS: Annoying you to death?
JOEY: No… You are. No, she made me realize that this isn’t our thing to discuss. Maybe she would have taken him back earlier if we’d left her alone.
PHOE: Well, if that’s how you feel then how come you’re talking about it now?
JOEY: Hey, I only said I thought it was wrong, I never said I was willing to stop talking about it!!

[Cut to: Monica’s]
[She enters, slightly upset and annoyed. She starts looking through the mail she brought. She walks up to the couch, her mind elsewhere, whistling]
MNCA: [singing to herself] ‘Cause I want to live like animals. Careless and free like animals.
[She whistles the song and motions to throw her purse on the couch when she notices the person laying there. Chandler’s asleep on the couch. Monica, not being prepared, throws her purse and the mail on the table and recoils, screaming. She wakes Chandler up and he too screams, not expecting to be woken up like that. He turns around, still screaming and sees it’s only Monica]

[Commercial Break]

[Scene: The same]
MNCA: Chandler! What the hell is the matter with you, you nearly gave me a  heart attack!
CHAN: Sorry! Gosh Mon, so sorry!
MNCA: Don’t just “gosh Mon”, get the hell out!
CHAN: I can’t stay and finish my sleep?
MNCA: [angry] No!
CHAN: All right, all right… [slowly gets up]
MNCA: Chandler, I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you right now, but sneaking in here and falling asleep on my couch is definatly something I consider odd!
CHAN: Well sorry, but I couldn’t sleep at home.
MNCA: And so you thought “hey, why don’t I go across the hall, get a few minutes of sleep and then scare the living daylights out of Monica”?
CHAN: Well… except for that “living daylights” part…
MNCA: Chandler… [sits on the couch] I don’t get you these days. First you date me, then you cheat on me, then you won’t leave me alone, then all you do is sleep and then you nearly scare me to death!
CHAN: Is there more or can I talk too?
MNCA: Go ahead and talk. I want an explanation. I haven’t been this scared for ages and it could be nice to know why.
CHAN: I don’t know why you haven’t been scared in a long time.
MNCA: Not what I meant, I want to know how come I was scared now, why you decided to invade my privacy.
CHAN: Couldn’t we just call it invading Rachel’s privacy? [off her look] No such luck, huh?
MNCA: Well what is your excuse this time? I’ve asked you a number of times by now and I would like to get an answer before millennium four is here.
CHAN: Oh forget it, you would just yell at me if I told you. See ya’ around. [heads for the door]
MNCA: Who says I’ll be annoyed if you tell me?
CHAN: [stops, turns] Okay look? I’ve been having trouble sleeping, ‘cause for the first time in over a year I have to go to bed alone. It’s not easy to wake up knowing that there’s no one on the other side of the bed. I wake up on the side of the bed where we both prefer to sleep and I can’t recall why at once. But then I remember and I also remember that you’re not there. That hurts.
MNCA: Well, nice, but what does this have to do with you breaking, entering and sleeping?
CHAN: It’s… Well, I… See, when you’re around I can get to sleep. I don’t know why that is, but for about a week now I haven’t been able to sleep unless you’ve been near.
MNCA: You’re right. I will yell at you for that. For starters, that must be one of the thinnest arguments I have ever heard, because you were sleeping before I got home.
CHAN: Yeah, well… That couch has your smell on it.
MNCA: Eww! [rises] Thanks, I’ll remember to have it cleaned or something.
CHAN: Can I go now?
MNCA: Yeah… No.
CHAN: No? [happy] Wow, you want me to stay?
MNCA: I want you to know something.
CHAN: [hopeful] What?
MNCA: I want you to know that this has got to stop. Chandler, you are ruining our friendship, can’t you see that?
CHAN: Wait, how come I am? What about your part in all of this?
MNCA: My part? Listen to me, you have time after time failed to respect my clear desire to be left alone and not to discuss what once was between us and what you think there should be again.
CHAN: Yeah, well you’ve not respected my wish for us to get back together again.
MNCA: [walks closer] Yeah, but there’s a difference. I don’t want to get back together.
CHAN: [composing hurt] Well I don’t want to be apart, so I guess it’s not different.
MNCA: Well, if that’s how you wish to look at it. You lost your right to have a say-so in this when you… well, we don’t need to mention that again.
CHAN: Lost my say-so? You don’t think you lost yours when you told me to get lost? Wouldn’t that make us… equally non-say-so’d?
MNCA: I don’t think so. Chandler, I want to be with the man you were. Not the one you’ve become!
CHAN: What--
RACH: [enters] Mon! Monica come, you need to help me, that cop that, that arrested me is outside and I’ve borrowed dad’s car again, and what if he sees me?
MNCA: Okay, I’ll come down with you.
CHAN: To do what, exactly?
MNCA: Have no idea, but I’m going.
CHAN: Oh, so you’re just walking away, is that it?
MNCA: [grabs coat] Yes. ‘Cause I can’t deal with this right now. I thought we were clear on how things were, I can’t take another fight like this.
RACH: Come on Mon, hurry! Hurry! You could always take it and drive it a few blocks away.
MNCA: Rachel, hasn’t it occurred to you that borrowing a car when you don’t even have a drivers license is stupid?
RACH: You can give me the lecture later, let’s just go.
[They leave. Chandler shrugs his shoulders and goes back to the couch. Monica re-enters]
MNCA: And you get out of here!

[Cut to: Central Perk]
[All present. Chandler’s asleep]
ROSS: Okay, so I have narrowed it down. I’ll either write a love story based on my own life or a book about dinosaurs.
PHOE: Or, you can combine the two!
JOEY: Like, “The Land Before Time” meets “Sleepless in Seattle”?
PHOE: Kinda’!
MNCA: [rises] Rach, we’ve got to get going if we’re gonna return that car.
RACH: Oh. Okay. [rises] Oh, and Ross? When you write about me, remember that I’m actually a cup size C, it just says wrong on my bras. Oh, and this is my real hair colour.
[Monica grabs her by the hair and drags her out. As soon as the door closes, Chandler wakes up]
CHAN: [startled] What?
PHOE: Rachel said that was her real hair colour.
ROSS: [sarcasm] So that’s why she forced me to help her bleach her hair when we were going out. [thinks] Although she never did.
JOEY: So when will you decide about the plot, Ross? I need to know weather I’m in it or not, so I know what to tell all the women.
CHAN: How about telling them that you’re obsessed with sex and out of your mind?
PHOE: Wow, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
CHAN: That’s just it, I actually woke up on my favourite side, but somehow it’s the wrong one.
JOEY: You’re confusing me.
PHOE: [rises] Well I would like to confuse him even more, but I have a job interview to get to.
ROSS: Really, what’s the job?
PHOE: I don’t know yet, but it has to do with massaging.
JOEY: You know, I say that very same thing every time I go to a job interview. Except for the massage part.
CHAN: And did you ever wonder why you’re stuck working as a cleaner or plumber?
JOEY: No, never.
PHOE: Bye! [exits]
ROSS: So what do you think, Chandler?
CHAN: I think that your sister is the most wonderful woman on the face of the earth and I’m the biggest scum.
ROSS: And my book, what do you think about that?
CHAN: That it’s one big joke.
JOEY: That’s what I said too, then he bribed me $20 to keep my mouth shut.
CHAN: Wow, you really are cheap.
ROSS: Guys. Could we please not ditch the subject?
CHAN: [rises] Oh, by the way, before I forget, if you’re gonna use words like “ditch” then you’ll never sell more than 1000 copies.
JOEY: You’re leaving too now?
CHAN: Yes, but don’t worry. I’m pretty sure the trip to the bathroom and back won’t be as dangerous as where Phoebe’s going. [goes to the bathroom]
JOEY: You know what you should do, Ross?
ROSS: What?
JOEY: You should give up on that writing stuff and help me find a woman to replace Monica on the show.
ROSS: Thanks, I’ll pass.
JOEY: Okay, then I think you should write porn.
[Ross gives him an angry look]

[Cut to: Monica’s]
[She enters after returning the car to Mr. Green. Chandler’s there, waiting on one of the chairs]
MNCA: What did I tell you about that. Don’t do that. I hate that. You know I do.
CHAN: Yes I do. But personally I hate it when you run out on me like that.
MNCA: [sighs] Okay! Fine! Let’s get this over with. You say something about how we should be together, I say no way, we fight, dislike each other more and then you storm out of here, and all we’ve gained is a more damaged friendship.
CHAN: Oh, you think I’m here to win you back, is that it?
MNCA: Either that or you’re here to sleep.
CHAN: Well, you can just forget about me trying to get you back, Miss. Thinks-Highly-of-Herself.
MNCA: And you can forget about sleeping on my couch.
CHAN: That thing you said before… What did you mean by that?
MNCA: I mean that I can’t stand you coming over just to fight or to sleep!
CHAN: That wasn’t what I was referring to.
MNCA: Okay. So what were you referring to?
CHAN: That thing you said about me. How I’ve become some evil person.
MNCA: What? I never said that!
CHAN: Oh no? The last thing you said before you ran out with Rachel. There, does it help your memory?
MNCA: I didn’t say you’re evil. Although the thought has struck me a few times. I said that, that I don’t want to be with the person you’ve become.
CHAN: Uhm, Monica? [rises] In case you haven’t noticed I haven’t changed. I’m just showing more of my pathetic self.
MNCA: Oh you have changed.
CHAN: Have I?
MNCA: Yes. See, the guy I went out with. The guy I loved? He loved me back and he was the sweetest guy. He cared for me, he looked after me…
CHAN: I don’t understand, how am I any different now?
MNCA: And then… then that guy changed… into you.
CHAN: Into me? And who was I before, Darkwing Duck?
MNCA: The you that you used to be was what I just told you. The you that you have become is selfish. Arrogant. Unfaithful. And he’s very disrespectful.
CHAN: And how much respect did that sentence have?
MNCA: Don’t you realize that you’ve changed?
CHAN: Don’t you realize that I haven’t? Monica, this is ridiculous, you’re running out of reasons, you’re making up new ones that aren’t true.
MNCA: Am not. In that case I would have said you’re gay. [pause] Listen, if, if it makes you feel any better, then I don’t hate you. Honestly, I don’t. I just don’t want to be with whom you are now. Can’t we just be friends?
CHAN: Friends? You mean like in the old days? Comforting each other, hanging out together, talking for hours, going to clubs?
MNCA: Sure, if that’s how you picture friendship…
CHAN: Oh Monica, don’t you realize that after what we’ve experienced together there is no way we can go back to the friendship we used to share? Things can never be the way they were.
MNCA: You don’t see it, do you? You don’t see that the same thing goes for us! We can’t be like we used to! I can never trust you, ever again! That is not a good foundation.
CHAN: Look, I’m sorry, how many times am I gonna have to tell you just how sorry I am?
MNCA: [cold] Like you once said yourself, “sorry” can’t bring everything back.
CHAN: Actually, what I said was “sorry” can’t bring back the little “picky”.
MNCA: But the meaning is the same. A toe, trust, what’s the difference?
CHAN: You wanna have a biology teacher explain that to you?
MNCA: You know what else? You say you haven’t changed, but you’ve changed more than anyone here.
CHAN: Oh, I’ve changed? Whatever happened to the person who believed in eternal love?
MNCA: You’re, you’re so changed and so self involved! And I don’t exactly like that in a guy.
CHAN: Okay, who’s the most self involved, the one who opens his heart to  the person he loves, and who completely swallows his pride? Or, or the one who immediately when the person sees the person who loves the person, thinks the person wants to win the person back? You tell me.
MNCA: Tell you? I didn’t even understand your question. [beat] I’ve gotten some distance these few days when you’ve been off my back. And your changed personality has struck me about ten times a day.
CHAN: Hey, I think it’s really unfair to cut somebody out of their life like that just based on their personality!
MNCA: You know, you used to be the one person that I trusted more than anything. And you cheated. You can’t deny that. And you used to be the one person who respected me. And you certainly have no respect for me any longer. And you used to… Chandler, you have become so… You go around feeling sorry for yourself. The Chandler I fell in love with rarely felt sorry for himself, and when he did it was with good cause.
CHAN: And you don’t think loosing the love of your life is a good cause?
MNCA: You brought that on yourself. And the way I look at it… I lost the one I loved… You? You threw your chance away without a second thought.
CHAN: Why don’t I ever give up on this?
MNCA: You know, I ask myself that very question every time I see you… and you’re awake.
CHAN: [pause] You know something?
MNCA: What?
CHAN: You’ve changed too. My loved one would have given me a second chance… she would have understood me… and she would have realized that I’ve dearly paid for my mistake and she would know that I’ve been punished enough.
MNCA: You think that’s what it’s about? About punishing you? You know me better than that. It’s about me, about me needing to heal my broken heart. And even though the first cut is the deepest, I couldn’t bare another one from your knife.
CHAN: You shouldn’t be this, this stubborn. Forgive and forget, Mon.
MNCA: [childish] How about I forget you and I ever dated?
CHAN: [childish] I seem to remember you saying "baby I'm forever yours".
MNCA: I seem to remember YOU saying "darling, I promise I will never be unfaithful".
CHAN: [pause] Well, that’s that… I guess there’s nothing left for me to do, but… go to sleep.
[He goes over to the couch and falls asleep. Monica watches him for a few seconds, then she puts a blanket over him and goes to her bedroom]

[Closing Credits]

[Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Joey are there]
ROSS: Great! I’ve finally decided what my book will be about.
JOEY: [bored] And the Interest-club takes notes.
ROSS: Yeah, check this out. You know those “Clan of the Cave Bear” books?
JOEY: Is there sex in them?
ROSS: Uhm… rarely in the first one.
JOEY: Then I’ve probably not bothered to read them.
ROSS: Anyhow, I thought I’d write a similar story, only mine doesn’t take place during the Stone Age. Mine takes place during the Bronze Age.
JOEY: Could I be less cared?
ROSS: Fine! But if you’re gonna be acting this way, then I’m not gonna dedicate the book to you.
JOEY: In that case I’d say my mission is accomplished.

The end!