TOW the anti-wrinke cream
 
SCENE: Central Perk. Ross + Chandler are there. Joey enters smartly
 
JOEY: why hallo fellow gentlemen companions.
Chan: er...  hey Joe
Ross: hi, what's up ?
Joey: do you mean, what is going on with me ? not a lot.
 Chan: lets just check this a moment, we didn;t just go transatlantic ??
Joey: not to my recknowlegemnt.
Ross: Joey, why are you speaking wierdly ?
Joey: wierd ? the word I would use is "extensive"
Chan: why ?
Joey: I was told that I could not have a very important part in a play if I did not speak correctly. Of course It did not help that I said "how you doin' to the female director. So I'm trying words with more than two syllables..
Chan: like..  "sandwiches"
Joey: yep...
Ross: you could always use a theosaurus ?
Joey: nu-huh..  haven;t those been dead for like millions of years.
But if it'll help, can I nick on from your museum ??
Ross: Joey, a theosaurus is not a dinosaur.
Joey: oh....
Ross: listen., I can help you, perhaps I can give you some elecution lessons.
Joey: what did I do wrong ??
Chan: elecution, not electricution.
Joey: few.....  what the hell is that ??
 
CREDITS: Chan and Mon's. They are there when Rachel enters.
 
Rach: Monica !
Mon: hey Rach. nice of you to pop in, but you're early.
Rach: yep, and thoroughly depressed.
Chan: what's wrong ?
Rach: I didn;t get the job ?
Chan: what job ??
Rach: I told you yesterday, your memory is going Chandler ! I was going to try out for a modelling job.
Mon: so you didn;t get it ?
Rach: nope... apparently I am too old. Too old ? me ? they gotta be joking right..
Chan: well..  you are 31 Rach.
Rach: so are you mister !!
Chan: i know.. but Rachel, you're a really good fashion designer
Rach: I know that...I just always wanted to wear what I invented.
Mon: I wanted to be a model when I was younger ...
Rach: oh yeah....didn;t you get one job at "Plus Size city" ?
Mon: er..yeah.
 
(Pheobe enters with a magnifying glass in one hand)
 
Chan: hey inspecter Buffay !
Phoe: oh hi.. Mr. Bing  (turns to Rachel) how did it go ?
Rach: bad..  I'm too old.
Phoe: old ?? oh dear..  you're not, I only felt old when I hit 105.
Chan: Pheebs. when did you ever hit 105 ?
Phoe:  2053 B.C.to be exact.  But you know age is just a number. It's how old you feel that counts.
Mon: yeah..  do you feel old Rach ?
Rach: not at all, I feel young still....
Chan: that's a shame, cos I already ordered your xympp[hrame
Rach: very funny, why not order two for you and Mon.
 Mon: hey..  I am really young
Chan: and pretty too..
Mon: arhh  (kisses him quickly)
Phoe: there's no need to worry Monica, you cover those wrinkles really well.
Mon: WRINKLES ??  what wrinkles ??
Phoe: er..  the non-existant ones..  that's what I meant
Mon: I don't have any wrinkles ??   (dashes to mirror) Chandler ??.. do I have wrinkles ??
Chan: none at all babe.
Mon; are you sure..?
Chan: of course not
Mon: you mean I do ?
Chan: no !!
Rach: you guys are starting to act like a little old couple !
(Chandler and Monica look at her angrily)
 
(Joey enters)
JOEY: Chandler..  help me.. Ross wants to give me speaking lessons I am going to die of boredoom
Chan: I did warn you.
Joey: how do I get out of them ?
Chan: dunno..
Phoe: why don;t you say you have a date ?
JoeY. right..  that normally works..
(Monica walks up to Joey)
MON: Joey, do I have wrinkles ?
Joey: I can;t see from here
(she steps closer)
Joey: still can't see
(she goes closer practially next to him)
Joey: nah..  you need to be nearer
Mon: Joey ! you are not blind yet !
Joey: well..  my eyesight's starting to go...
 
SCENE: Ross and Joey in central Perk
 
Ross: and so "whom" is used instead of "who" in that instance
Joey:ok..  now I gotta go....
Ross: you mean  "I have to go"
Joey: right..  whatever..  seeya later
Ross: you mean "I will see you later"
Joey: bye !!!! (dashes out and crashes into Phoebe)
J/P: hey/hi/bye
Ross: you mean "goodbye" (sees Joey's left him)
Hey there Pheebs.
Phoe: I am soo happily, I won !! I won !!
Ross: what ??  what did you win ?
Phoe: I won at my paranormal discussion group
Ross: I didn't know you belonged to a group, what did you win ?
Phoe: because of my account of my UFO abduction, I got an alien watch.
Ross: what ??
Phoe: yeah, me and Joey got abducted by men from another planet
Ross: when ??
Phoe: the other day
Ross: what ?? You never told us anything
Phoe: well, it wasn;t in real life, but the people in the discussion group don't need to know.
Ross: I thought you were against lying..
Phoe: this is just my imagination Ross !!
Ross: so what did you say ?
Phoe: that they beamed me and Joey up and took us to their planet Zog, and taught us how to cheat at scrabble.
Ross: aliens don;t play scrabble !
Phoe: well  ..  you said aliens don;t exist !
Ross: anyway..  the group actually bought it ?
Phoe: yes, and when they met Joey today he didn't remember anything just laughed at the klingon,so I explained that the aliens  stole Joey's brain.
Ross: (laughs) ha ha..  but he lost those a long time ago !!
 
FADE TO: chan and Mon's. Rachel and Monica are lying with their feet up on the couch. Their faces are covered in bright white facial mask and two cucumbers over the eyes. Their hair is tied back in towels.
(they speak with their teeth closed)
 
Mon: we are certainly not old
Rach: no..  and we do not have any wrinkles.
Mon: of course not,but we need thistreatment just in case..
Rach: definately...definately...
 
(Phoebe and Ross enter. Phoebe is holding her magnifying glass again)
(Rachel and Monica turn their civered faces around...)
 
Phoe: arhhh  !!!
Ross: oh-mi-god !!
Phoe: my groups is gonna be impressed I found ghosts !
Rach: very funny
Mon: this will help to preserve our youthful looks
Ross: yeah right, a pair of oldies
Mon: noo, you two are older than us, and perhaps you should suffer the consequences of what you said and have some too.
Ross: er... I don;t think so..  (makes a dash)
Phoebe:  me neither  (starts to run but the girls stop them both)
Mon/Rac: we'll see !!!
 
TIME LAPSE
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's place. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Phoebe are all sitting on the chairs, their faces covered in the face mask.
 
Ross: is the tingling thing normal ??
Rach: not for you  !!
 
(Chandler and Joey enter)
 
CHAN : (Perry's trademark) OHMIGOD !
Joey: boy..  you guys sure got desperate. You know you all look like the sandwich I found under my bed, dated three months old.
Mon: ewww !!!
Joey: I know..  tasted nice with peanut butter
Mon: ewwww !!!!!!!!!! eugh !
Chan: that's officially gross !!
Mon: what else have you got under your bed ??
Joey: let me see.  last time I excavated. I found some dirty underwear and a smelly sock
Rach/Mon: eugh !! ewwww !
Joey: calm down grandmas !!
Chan: relax miss cucumbers !
Rach: quit calling us that, you guys are the same age you know..
Joey: ok..
(Chandler goes and sits by Monica)
Mon: Rach, I think ours can be taken off now..
Joey: (gets excited) what are you taking off ??
Rach: just the facial mask silly !!
Chan:(whispers to Mon) I'll lick yours off later if you like
Mon: (whispers back): OK !!
 
(she rubs his hair..  then looks at somethings and smiles because Phoebe has walked behind him and Joey and put some talcum powder in their hair quietly while they were talking)
 
Ross: Joey, I will give you another lesson tommorrow if you like
Joey (his smile goes) oh..alright...
Mon:(trying to stop herself laughing) hey Chandler, have you looked at your hair recently ??
Chan: what ??  whay ??
Mon: nothing..it's just....I saw a little grey..
Chan: what ??  noooooooo !!!!!!!!!!
Joey: ha ha ha..  Chandler is a grandpa !!
Chan: I'm not !!!
Phoebe: I don;t know what you're laughing at Tribbianni
(she gives them a mirror)
Chan+Joey: arhhhhhhhhh !!!!!
 
TIME LAPSE: Chandler and Joey are on teh couch talking. the others are at the kitchen table.
 
Ross: that facial mask made my skin so soft and smooth
Phoe: yeah..  Ross-ina..  it makes you look so pretty
Mon: guys.. look at them (points ot grey Chandler and Joey) shouldn't we tell them !!
Rach: er..  no way !!
 
 (camera goes to Chandler and Joey on the sofa holding little packets and reading them)
 
Joey: so how does this stuff work ?? cos I need to cover this up quickly. I have a date tonight..
Chan: I think you squeeze it all on
Joey: shall I go and try first ?? ok..  I will.. but can you read the instructions again for me.
Chan: sure  "Just for men, covers the grey other places don't reach"
Joey: (looks nervously at Chandler and panics)  what type of places exactly ??
 
 
THE END
 

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