The Gellers front door, Ross, Monica, Phoebe and Chandler are standing at
the door in that order.
ROSS:    Ok, you guys ready.
MNCA:    [annoyed] Just go in would you.
ROSS:    Geez Mon what is wrong with you? You never said a word in the cab
all the way over here, what is going on?
MNCA:    Just leave me alone Ross.
ROSS:    [to Chandler] What is wrong with her?
MNCA:    [mad] Hey Ross I told you to drop it, and anyway how should he
know? You have seen me more in the last day than he has in the past
fortnight.
CHAN:    [touching her shoulder] Mon I... [she pulls away]
MNCA:    I am ok, I was just making an observation, let's just go in and
forget everything from the past few days ever happened. [Phoebe puts her arm
around Monica]
PHOE:    [sympathetic] Let's go then. [they knock, Ross gives Chandler a
dirty look, Chandler looks confused and surprised] [Judy Geller opens the
door]
JUDY:    Hi, welcome, [she kisses Ross on the cheek] Hello sweetie...
[Phoebe hugs her, she looks confused] well hello Phoebe [R&P walk off
together, Mon goes to hug her mum, but her mum just takes her hand, she
takes Chandler's too and puts them together.] Look at you two... [to Mon]
you have done well to hold on to him for so long.
MNCA:    You have no idea.
JUDY:    Well enjoy the party [she walks off leaving C&M holding hands, Mon
looks at there hands and then at him, he smiles at her]
MNCA:    I need a drink, [she pulls her hand from his and leaves]

[Opening Credits]

[Scene: The Gellers'. Monica's getting herself a drink. Chandler walks up]
CHAN: A little early for that, huh?
MNCA: It's always 12 o'clock somewhere in the world.
CHAN: Monica, I am--
MNCA: [ignores him, walks up to someone] Aunt Sylvia! How great to see you!
[hugs her]
SYLVIA: The same dear. Oh, and I see you brought me a drink, how thoughtful
of you.
[She takes Monica's drink and walks off]
MNCA: [low] Bitch.
PHOE: [coming up] Hey Monica. Wow, this is so cool, I've only got about 3
relatives and you've got a whole house full.
MNCA: Speaking of full, would you mind keeping my mind full? I don't want to
think too much today.
PHOE: [confused] Uh, sure. Come on, there's this REALLY nice guy in the
kitchen that you should meet, his name's Albert.
MNCA: Phoebe that's my granddad.
PHOE: It is?
MNCA: Yeah. Grandpa' Geller.
PHOE: Well, have you met the guy who's eating peanuts on the couch?
MNCA: Cousin Nathan.
PHOE: What is this all about, are you trying to show off with knowing
everyone?

[Cut to: Outside. Rachel and a very sleepy Joey come sneaking up, dressed in
their camouflage clothes]
JOEY: [defensive] I did NOT snore loud!
RACH: Joey people in the next cart couldn't sleep! You were that loud! My
ears are even ringing.
JOEY: [defensive] Hey, I don't even snore! How do we know it wasn't YOU?
RACH: Sh! Duck!
JOEY: The duck's here?
RACH: IDIOT! No, I want you to duck!
[She throws herself on the ground. Joey yawns and slowly sits down next to
her]

Cut to the Gellers, Ross is sitting on a sofa drinking a soda, Chandler
approaches him and sits down.
CHAN:    [to Ross] Hey man, whets up?
ROSS:    [hostile] Oh just the usual family party stuff.
CHAN:    What's with the attitude.
ROSS:    Look, I don't wanna judge or anything but you aren't exactly my
favourite person right now.
CHAN:    [confused] What did I do?
ROSS:    As if you didn't know... you know I never thought you were capable
of hurting her so much.
CHAN:    [realisation] Monica?
ROSS:    Who else is there... wait don't answer that.
CHAN:    Look I apologised there is nothing else I can do, it's not like I
did it on purpose or anything, I didn't go out looking for a way of hurting
her.
ROSS:    Do you have any idea what this means?
CHAN:    Look Ross, I love Monica, as much as I stuff up I can't help loving
her, and I always know she loves me no matter what happens, it isn't that
big a deal on the grand scale of things.
ROSS:    [seeing Monica approach] That's right man, you just keep telling
yourself that [Monica stands in front of them, Chandler smiles, but she
focuses only on Ross]
MNCA:    Ross mom says she wants you to meet someone from the neighbourhood,
they are in the kitchen.
ROSS:    [getting up] Sure, [he leaves, Monica turns to leave, but Chandler
grabs her wrist and pulls her onto his lap]
CHAN:    I really am sorry Monica, [she looks very uncomfortable, he tries
to kiss her, she pulls away and stands]
MNCA:    [casual] Really Chandler it's cool, there is no need to apologise
anymore, [looking around] oh, look who it is I haven't seen her for years,
excuse me, [she walks away, Chandler looks confused, and gets up after her,
he follows her]
Cut to outside, R&J are peering in the window at Phoebe,
RACH:    Look at her... acting all innocent, she is so bad at it too, you
can just read the truth all over her face can't you Joey... Joey... [she
looks at him, he has fallen asleep on the window sill, he snores really
loudly, Rachel looks nervously in the house, while hitting Joey to wake him
up, a guy looks outside and peers at Rachel, she waves nervously, the guy
waves hesitantly and very confused, Rachel pulls Joey onto the ground, he
wakes up with a start]
JOEY:    Aww Rachel stop doing that, I was just having this dream about...
[Rachel ignores him and looks hesitantly back in the window she looks
panicky]
RACH:    We have lost visual on the subject, repeat we have lost visual...
[she pulls out binoculars, and looks around the room, she sighs relieved]
Visual re established, [Phoebe is with Ross] Subject flirting with subject
2. [to Joey] Euch... just look at them, it is enough to make you want to be
sick, they are just so obvious.
[Cut to: The kitchen. Monica's helping her mother to dice]
CHAN: [enters] There you are.
JUDY: Oh hello Chandler.
CHAN: Yeah, sorry Mrs. G, but I wasn't talking about you.
MNCA: Chandler go away.
JUDY: Now Monica, is that any way to treat your boyfriend? Especially after
having been going out for 2 years and a day.
MNCA: [testy] I know that. The question is, does Chandler?
CHAN: Mrs. Geller, would you excuse us?
[He grabs Monica by the arm and leads her out to the living room. Once he
lets her go she walks away from him and begins a conversation with some
relative. Jack Geller comes up to Chandler]
JACK: Oh look! It's Chandler! Got any drugs with you? [laughs] Just kidding.
It's a wonder my humour still is great after all theses years.
CHAN: You don't say.
JACK: Ross tells me you and Monica have been going out for two years. Your
anniversary was yesterday, right?
CHAN: [fed-up] My gosh, doesn't everybody know I KNOW that? What is this,
family execution? [walks off]
JACK: [follows] Now Chandler, I gather by that outburst that you're upset
about something. Let me tell you something though, don't waste your time
being upset just after an anniversary.

[Cut to: Later. "Two hours later" is written across the screen. Chandler is
looking seriously bored, sitting at the dining table next to Jack and a few
others]
JACK: [sentimental] And our third anniversary, that's the year when snow
cones became popular.
CHAN: [rises, bored] I'm gonna go watch paint dry. [walks off]
[We cut to outside, where Rachel is spying and Joey is sleeping]
RACH: Wait, where's Chandler going? Joey, you know him, where's he going?
JOEY: [sits up, suddenly awake] He's going to check out the hot babes!
RACH: What? He's with someone.
JOEY: Hey, once you've cheated one time you don't become too picky on when
to find someone else to betray your girlfriend with.
RACH: [bored] Like I care. [looks back inside] Oh look Joey! Look, there's
Ross! Alone! No Phoebe!
JOEY: [looks] Uh, Rach, that's the cake delivery guy.
RACH: Oh.

JOEY:    I don't see why you are obsessing over this, who cares if they are
sleeping together?
RACH:    I care, they will only end up hurting each other and that can't
lead to anything good for the rest of us now can it.
JOEY:    Let them do what they want you can't run their lives Rachel, now
why don't we go inside and get some FOOD. [Joey starts to stand but Rachel
grabs him down again]
RACH:    Oh yeah and say what we were in the neighbourhood, look we just
need to stay here long enough to get something concrete to confront them
with [Joey suddenly screams, Rachel looks at him annoyed] Would you shut up?
What was that for? [Joey is rolling on the ground clutching his leg]
JOEY:    [pained] CRAMP!!
RACH:    [looking back inside] Oh stop being such a baby.
Cut to inside, Chandler is standing by the food table picking at a plate he
has fixed himself, a girl about his age approaches him.
GIRL:    Hey I don't recognise you which Geller are you related too?
CHAN:    Monica... although I am technically not related to her I just live
with her... what about you?
GIRL:    I'm Gail, I am Monica's second cousin... I think... it gets weird
when you start to define cousins part 1st don't you think? I remember when I
was in Prague... [she starts to ramble Chandler sighs and looks desperate,
Monica walks up to the table and starts to fix a plate, Chandler sees an
opportunity]
CHAN:    Hey Monica... [Mon glares at him and turns to leave, but Gail stops
her]
GAIL:    Wow, Monica I haven't seen you for a while, and I hear that you are
shacked up now.
MNCA:    Yeah, bye. [She turns to go, but again Gail stops her]
GAIL:    [ushering them to the sofa] NO don't go I want to hear all the
juicy details of this relationship.

MNCA: Oh, you want to hear the juicy parts? Ask Chandler.
[She walks away. Gale grabs Chandler by the arm and drags her with him,
following Monica. They pass by Jack Geller, still telling his story]
JACK: Now, our FOURTH anniversary was.[thinks] many years ago.
[They continue to walk past Jack and Gale sits them down next to Monica,
who's seated on the couch]
MNCA: Are you two following me, or something?
GAIL: Come on Monica, give me all the details.
MNCA: Okay, let me sum up the last few weeks for you. Nothing. [rises]
Please tell me you won't follow me again, I don't want to have to get a
restraining order.
GAIL: [to Chandler] Are you sure you live with HER? I might have another
second cousin named Monica, I'm not much of the keep-draft-on-people's-names
type.
CHAN: No, that's the one. Maybe things will be easier if you think of me as
Ross's best friend.
GAIL: Maybe. [thinks] Ross, Ross, that's. that would be. Okay, I give up,
who's named Ross, again?
CHAN: [stating the obvious] Monica's brother?
GAIL: Oh, okay. See, I told you I suck at names.
[Chandler laughs half-heartedly]

[Cut to: Outside. Joey's got his cramp, Rachel's not paying attention to
him]
JOEY: Paramedics! I need paramedics!
RACH: Sh! Joey come on, you're gonna ruin this entire thing!
JOEY: Rachel come on, get it together and get on with your life!
RACH: I will, as soon as I expose Ross and Phoebe and get Phoebe. Kip-ed out
of the group.
JOEY: Get Phoebe what?
RACH: Phoebe's not supposed to have an intra-friend relationship, who does
she think she is, does she think the concept is NEW?
JOEY: [sits up, annoyed] Okay, that's it, you give it a rest or I'm telling
Phoebe exactly what you think of her!
RACH: [ignoring him] Oh! Look!
[We see through the window how Phoebe kisses Ross on the cheek]
JOEY: [snatches binoculars] Give me those! [starts to look at them]

Cut to Ross and Phoebe inside, she is obviously comforting him

PHOE:    Ross you are a sweet, cute and funny guy you deserve much better
than that chick your mum was showing you off too,
ROSS:    But it isn't just that Phoebe, I really hate Chandler right now,
and how could that be he is my best friend.
PHOE:    You wanna go outside and get some fresh air? We can talk properly
there.
ROSS:    Sure. [they start to walk toward the door]
Cut to outside,
RACH:    Look, they are trying to sneak out, well not on my watch, [she
starts to get up]
JOEY:    Rachel where are you going, I thought we were watching Ross and
Phoebe?
RACH:    Well now we can get surround sound, come on. [She grabs Joey and
pulls him after her]
Cut to back inside the house, Monica is staring into a glass, it is a Scotch
on the rocks with a twist but she obviously hasn't touched it, suddenly she
is shadowed, she looks up and sees Gail.
MNCA:    Oh, hey.
GAIL:    [sitting beside her] You know that Chandler of yours is really
something.
MNCA:    Yeah, I heard alot of people think that these days.
GAIL:    What did he do?
MNCA:    [looking at her shocked] What... when?
GAIL:    Oh come on, you think I'm that stupid, I have heard of him.
MNCA:    Really in what sense?
GAIL:    Your relationship is famous in the family, you guys were voted the
most likely to still be in love in twenty years by the Gellers annual polls.
MNCA:    Could this family be geekier?
GAIL:    It's cute, but this is not quite what I expected to see of you
together
MNCA:    [staring straight ahead] Put it this way we might still be in love
in twenty years but what did that poll say about us still being together?
[She slowly gets up, downs the drink and wanders away]
[Cut to: The living room. Music is being played. Jack Geller is still
telling his story]
JACK: I remember this song. This song was new the year we celebrated our
seventh anniversary.
MAN: [bored] Uncle Jack, "I Knew I Loved You" was written in -99.
JACK: It was? Then what song was new in -67?
MAN: Allot of songs.
JACK: Allot of songs. Huh. [turns to the kitchen, calling out] Hey Judy,
what song was new in 1967?
JUDY: [voice-over, calling back] Don't ask me that, I don't even like to
admit I was alive back then.
[Chandler walks over to Monica by the couch]
CHAN: I don't suppose you're un-mad at me enough to dance with me, huh? [sad
that she ignores him] Oh Monica, don't you know I never intended to hurt
you? I honestly believed it was the day BEFORE our anniversary, that's
what-- [catches himself, realises he should talk of Sabrina] That's what the
calendar in my office said.
MNCA: [annoyed] Honey, how many times have I told you to THROW AWAY
calendars after new years?
CHAN: [smiling big] So I'm "honey" again?
MNCA: [sighs] I can't be mad at you forever.
CHAN: I know. But you can dance with me.
[He pulls her to her feet and they start to dance, she is reluctant. They
continue to dance in the background as Ross and Phoebe walk by, on their way
to exit through the kitchen]
JACK: [stopping them] Hey Ross, back in 1970, was "Killing me Softly" a new
song?
ROSS: Uh, no dad, "Killing me Softly was"--
PHOE: Uh, let's not get into that now Ross, shall we? Come on, we were going
outside!
ROSS: I'm gonna have to tell you that later, dad. But I've got a GREAT story
for you later, about how the reggae style started.
PHOE: Come on Ross, hurry up! [drags off with him]
JACK: [sighs] Oh boy, another long, useless story. He certainly gets that
ability from his mother.

[Cut to: Outside. Rachel is sneaking towards the kitchen exit. Joey stays
put and picks a few leafs from a tree]
JOEY: Hey Rach, you can eat these, right?
RACH: [angry] Keep quiet and get over here! Now!
JOEY: [sighs] All right, all right. Sounds like Miss. Stakeout is PMS.
[Rachel hits him with the binoculars]
JOEY: Note to self: Be careful when she is. well, that word that just made
her hit me.
RACH: Be quiet and follow me!

Rachel crouches on the ground by the kitchen door in some bushes, she pulls
down Joey beside her.
JOEY:    Wow, Rachel if you wanted me on the ground you could have just
asked me... now that you have me here what are you going to do with me?
[Rachel hits him with the binoculars again] Hey, how about I'm in charge of
holding the binoculars huh? I mean I never signed up for bruise camp,  wait
I never signed anything... did I? [the door opens Rachel hits Joey with the
binoculars again, but realising he will protest she puts her hand to his
mouth, Phoebe and Ross exit, and walk down the path a little Rachel goes to
follow them but Joey holds her back]
RACH:    What?
JOEY:    Do you smell that?
RACH:    [interested] what is it Phoebes perfume on Ross?
JOEY:    [in a daze]  FOOD! [he starts to get up but Rachel grabs him and
produces a candy bar from her pocket and waves it in front of his face]
RACH:    I was hoping it wouldn't come to this... [she starts to tempt him
forward with the candy bar like a dog or something following a trail, she
gives him it and tempts him with another until they are in range of where
Ross and Phoebe have sat on the grass, she gives him the bar and another one
form her pocket]
RACH:    [relieved] Finally... [about P&R] now we get the juice.
Cut back to inside, C&M are still dancing, Chandler holds her very close and
strokes her hair, he kisses her head, he has his eyes closed, she however
looks very unsure.
CHAN:    [softly] I've missed you so much... I forgot how good it felt just
to be with you... what have I been doing at work? [Mon looks panicky] Monica
I have been wanting to talk to you.
MNCA:    [not wanting to risk confrontation] Can we just dance please?
CHAN:    This is really important... but we can leave it for now.
MNCA:    Thank you. [Chandler smells her hair, she closes her eyes pained]
CHAN:    I tell you what... how about we go away for a few days after my
W.E.N.U.S. is fixed and we can [suggestively] rekindle our flame.
MNCA:     Can we not talk about your work either.
CHAN:    Sure... [he suddenly stops dancing with her and takes her hand and
leads her off the floor she looks confused, he sits her in a corner isolated
from the rest of the party, he sits beside her and brushes her hair from her
face, he kisses her cheek lightly and then her lips, she doesn't close her
eyes but she kisses back slowly, he tries to raise the passion but she
doesn't let him, he pulls away] Do you wanna stop? [she looks at him unsure,
he brushes the her from her face and takes her hand] We can just talk or
something? [She looks at him, then kisses him VERY passionately, he pulls
away breathless] Wow Monica we are in public lets keep things just intimate
ok? [she sighs and sits back, he tries to kiss her]
MNCA:    What happened to our dance? [He sits back confused, "One wild
night" by Bon Jovi starts, Monica looks down at the irony]
CHAN:    [catching the irony too, he laughs] Ironic huh? What does this
remind you of?
MNCA:    [Not wanting to get to close] This is a little upbeat for one of my
mums parties.
JACK:    [From the opposite end of the room, beside the stereo] When was
this written?

[Cut to: Outside. Ross and Phoebe sit down on a bench. We can see Rachel
sneak up behind them. Joey grabs the binocular]
JOEY: [whispers] I'LL hold this. [starts looking through them] Aw crap,
these are broken! They're, like, ten miles away!
RACH: No they aren't but the binoculars are the wrong way. Now quiet, you
are ruining our stake-out!
[We cut to Ross and Phoebe. They are in mid-conversation, talking about
Chandler and Monica but Rachel and Joey don't know that]
PHOE: Ross, did you ever think it could be that hard?
ROSS: No, never. I mean, I knew from when Rachel and I dated that it can be
hard to sleep with someone you're friends with, especially when you take it
into a more. personal level.
PHOE: I know.
ROSS: But this, Phoebe this was so much more than just a fling, don't you
think?
RACH: [whispering] Where is that Dictaphone? [She finds it and hits record]
PHOE: Yes, this was TOTALLY more than just a fling. I mean, this is the type
of thing you only read about! Let's just hope it has a happy ending. [whiny]
I don't want it to end.
ROSS: And as soon as everybody knows and it's official then everything is
gonna be different. I mean, the living arrangements will change, for one
thing.
PHOE: Yeah. One person less at Monica's and one more at your place.
[Rachel covers her mouth with her hand. Joey ignores the conversation and
takes a snickers bar from his pocket]
JOEY: [hushed] Hey Rach, do you have anymore candy or should I start to take
from my own stock?

[Cut to: The living room. Monica has walked away from Chandler, standing by
the stereo. Chandler comes up]
CHAN: Babe, what are you doing? I like this song.
MNCA: Changing it. _I_ don't like it.
[She takes a CD out from the multiple-CD. thing. and puts it in a cover,
searching for another CD]
CHAN: So, you wanna. Leave them all to their own lives and go upstairs.
[suggestively] You've never showed me your room.
MNCA: [finding the CD she's looking for] I have no room. I have a gym.
CHAN: [thinks] Yeah, "you've never showed me your gym" doesn't sound as
sexy.
[Monica ignores him and hits random, now having placed the CD in the. hatch
thing. Deff Lepard's "Have you Ever Needed Someone so Bad?" plays. She sighs
and walks away from Chandler]

Chandler walks up and sits very close to Monica who has seated herself on
the sofa, he puts his arm around her and pulls her back to lean on him, they
lie against the back of the sofa, she looks awkward.
CHAN:    You know... I really wish that we had got together sooner. [Mon
looks shocked] I mean we have known each other 13 years Monica, that is a
long time, don't get me wrong I loved our friendship and we wouldn't be
where we are now if it wasn't for that [Monica sighs] But an extra year or
two would have been nice.
MNCA:    Where did this come from?
CHAN:    What?... we always talk to each other I am just telling you what I
think, that is what you like me to do right?
MNCA:    We aren't really talking Chandler.
CHAN:    Sure we are... I am talking and you are listening, [he buries his
head in her hair, and whispers] We are interacting.
MNCA:    Do you ever wonder where we would be if we hadn't got together in
London?
CHAN:    No... do you?
MNCA:    Sure I do, where do you think we would be?
CHAN:    You would be married, you are to good a catch for any guy to lose.
MNCA:    [trying to get up] I'm gonna go get something to eat.
CHAN:    [taking her hand] Cool, I'll come with you.[They stand]
MNCA:    I am capable of going alone you know.
CHAN:    Of course I know, but I just can't bear to let you out of my sight.
MNCA:    Why don't you go find Ross and see if he wants to go shoot some
hoops I think the net is still out in the yard.
CHAN:    [jokingly] You know, if I didn't know better I would say you were
trying to get rid of me. [from her silence, he is very shocked] Is that it?
You want rid of me? [he is getting mad]
MNCA:    [trying to calm him] No sweetie of course not, I just... I don't
want us to get sick of each other.
CHAN:    [mad] We have bearly seen each other for a week.
MNCA:    [also mad] Don't you think I know that? [he opens his mouth to yell
when the realise they are in company, he pulls her to the side of the room ,
he whispers to her but still mad]
CHAN:    What is up with you recently?
MNCA:    [irritated] Nothing, what is up with everyone else?
CHAN:    Phoebe told me what you thought Monica and I have to say that is
not what I expected of you...
MNCA:    [horrified] Phoebe did what?! What did she say?
CHAN:    That... that you thought... you thought I would be... that you
wouldn't be the Geller I dreamt about [she looks confused] ... that I would
be more interested in Ross than you.
MNCA:    [open mouthed, she quickly stifles a laugh] And you believed her?
CHAN:    [innocently] Yeah, why shouldn't I?
MNCA:    We might not have seen each other for a week Chandler but I do
remember the last time we were together and I don't think a guy can change
that quickly, [sarcastically] the things you were doing really showed me you
were gay. [He smiles at how stupid it was as does she, she quickly panics
though realising they are bonding and she turns to go, he grabs her waist
and pulls her back, he whispers in her ear]
CHAN:    You want me to prove it too you again? [he starts to kiss her neck]
Cut to outside, Joey is still chewing on a candy bar, he looks unphased,
Rachel looks shocked to her very core, then she smiles slyly, she whispers
to Joey.
RACH:    I think this may be the best day that I have had for a while, we
finally get the proof to show that vixen Phoebe for what she really is.
JOEY:    [mad] Hey that is Phoebe... our Phoebe, I love Phoebe.
RACH:    Not as much as she loves Ross by the sounds of things, man she
really has her claws in, now shh we might get more.
PHOE:    But this was just so unexpected though.
ROSS:    I sure never saw it, but then it was like Bam, I mean we can't deny
it.
PHOE:    I know but it just makes it so real you know, I mean an emotion
like love is just so pure.
RACH:    [covering her mouth in horror] Did you hear that Joey, she loves
him... well this is totally unacceptable, she has crossed to many lines,
this just isn't what you want your friend to do, we are supposed to support
each other not ignore each other and the hurt involved, [she looks over at
Joey who has stuffed the rest of the snickers in his mouth and his cheeks
are all puffed out, he is even dribbling  little, he is trying to make a
paper aeroplane from his snickers wrapper. Rachel sighs.]
RACH:    [to herself] I thought you weren't supposed to act with children
and animals... how come I get landed with both?
[Ross carefully puts an arm around Phoebe]
PHOE: Ross, I just don't want things to end! I know it sounds silly, I mean
why should I care so much? But I do, and I want this to continue, it's like
the best relationship ever!
RACH: [to Joey] Charge! [jumps up next to Ross and Phoebe] Busted!

[Cut to Monicas old room, the door bursts open, Chandler and Monica are
kissing, he walks her toward the bed]

CHAN: [while kissing] Oh yes! Finally! You know, I never--
MNCA: [still kissing him] Don't talk to me Chandler.
CHAN: [through kissing] Sure... [stops kissing her] how come?
MNCA: Lets just be in the moment ok... can we just forget who we are, where
we are... everything.
CHAN: I wanna be with you... I WANT to think of you and me together here,
now.
MNCA:[trying to kiss him] Fine think what you want just don't talk to me.
[He steps away from her]
CHAN:    Monica, I want you to think the same... and I want you to WANT to
think the same, what is going on with you we have never had this before.
MNCA: See what you did... [he looks confused] See now we're talking...
CHAN: Maybe that's not a bad thing, we haven't talked in just as long as we
haven't... well you know.[She sits on the bed and looks defeated, Chandler
looks at her with sympathy, he sits right next to her and starts kissing her
neck]
CHAN: [still at her neck] So this is being in the moment?... I like it. [She
smiles and closes her eyes]
MNCA: Chandler I think you might be right.
CHAN: [still kissing her neck] 'bout what?
MNCA: About the talking thing. We need to really talk about what's going
on here. We can't escape it anymore. [He looks up at her confused she looks
sorry]

[Commercial Break]

CHAN:    [confused] Escape what?... Honey I don't understand
MNCA: The truth. The truth, Chandler.
CHAN:    [reaching out the touch her cheek, he speaks softly] What is the truth? What is going on sweetie?
MNCA: [recoils from him] Oh, so now all of a sudden I'm "sweetie"?
CHAN:    [taken aback] What? What is that supposed to mean exactly?
MNCA: [testy] What do you mean, "what is that supposed to mean"?
CHAN:    [standing up and looking down on her] Whoa, wait a minute what
is with the attitude all of a sudden?
MNCA: [standing up as well, testy] What, I thought you liked your women
to have attitude!
CHAN:    [annoyed] Ok what did I miss?
MNCA: [annoyed] Oh, I don't know... How about insulting my intelligence?
You've certainly managed to do almost everything else, but I think that
one you missed. Until now that is. Don't you think I know what the hell is going on?
CHAN:    Well I really hope you do because one of us really should don't
you think? And that obviously isn't me in this case.
MNCA: Yeah right, why don't you tell me the story of "Little Red
Ridinghood" while you're at it?
CHAN:    [mad] Look I don't know what is with you but just get it out so we can move on I am getting really annoyed with you and this new erratic behaviour it sure isn't what I fell in love with.
MNCA: No, then what the hell was it, I remember how our relationship started out, thank you very much.
CHAN:    Wait... this is about our relationship... well at least we are getting somewhere now... do you want out is that it?
MNCA: [annoyed] Oh, so now all of a sudden I'M the one who wants out? Nice try there Romeo, I think I know what this is all about!
CHAN:    [really mad] EXPLAIN IT TOO ME! I think I have a right to know what the one I love is thinking don't you?
MNCA: [annoyed] The one you love? Just two seconds ago you were a-okay
with me ending this relationship, and now all of a sudden I'm the one you love?
CHAN:    [confused] You've always been the one I love just because I thought you were ending this doesn't make me ok with it.
MNCA: Yeah, well you sure seemed fine with it when you said it. Finally thought you were free of the beast, huh? Free and open for a new relationship. Or maybe your new one has already started.
CHAN: [moving away from her] Are you trying to tell me something?
MNCA: [mocking him] "Are you trying to tell me something?"
CHAN:    [sarcastic] Oh well at least you are being mature about it...
MNCA: [hostile] Oh don't you come bitching to me about maturity, Mr.Gets-up-at-seven-to-watch-cartoons-and-then-"Xeena"!
CHAN:    Is THAT what this is about? Maturity? Monica what the hell is going on I ain't gonna have another one of these stupid round about arguments with you when you never get to the point.
MNCA: [shouting] The point? [realises she's loud, in a low tone] The point? [normal tone] Chandler you are pathetic. And if you wanna leave, just leave! I'll be fine, it's not like you've never walked out on me before. Or anything important. So you just mosy your ass out the door, go to Stina, or Sabrina or whatever the hell her name is and work on her W.E.N.U.S., I'm sure she misses you. The funny thing is that as soon as SHE misses you you care, but when it comes to me you just... [sighs, sits down] Never mind.
CHAN:    [sitting beside her, soothing] Monica I am sorry I have been spending so much time at work, it's not like I want to... and although it may seem it I run when the W.E.N.U.S. breaks because it could cost me my job and Sabrina well you have no reason to be jealous of her.
MNCA: [rises quickly and moves away from him] Don't touch me, I don't want your hands on me. And spare me the "I'd much rather be with you, I hate being at work" speech because I've heard it all before, it's getting more old than Ross saying they were on a break. [upset] And how can you even TRY to feed me that bullshit, you even proved to me yourself that spending a night at work is more fun that being at home with me. "Nothing I can get at home tonight will be as good as what I'm getting here", wasn't that what you said Chandler?
CHAN:    [standing, mad] Look Mon maybe we should step back or something, I think you need to think about what you are saying before you say it none of this makes any sense.
MNCA: God you are so pathetic! Why can't you just admit it? Why are you trying to, to make this into ME calling it quits, when the truth is YOU are the one who wants out?
CHAN:    Whoa, whoa just hold on... you know that's not true, [he reaches out to touch her face he speaks softly, soothingly] I love you...
MNCA: [recoiling as if she got burned, angry] Stop touching me! I don't want to feel your hands touching me! And no other part of you for that matter!
CHAN:    [very hurt] Ok... I... Monica, I love you.
MNCA: [hurt] And that I should believe? After everything that has happened, you think that I am so gulliable that I believe that? Well welcome to the real world BOSS, take the results of your actions.
CHAN:    What actions Monica, what is going on here? And you have never doubted my love for you before, when I tell you I love you you are supposed to say it back you know.
MNCA: Oh great, so now you're telling me what to do? Here's something I can say instead: I'll be back in the apartment a week from now. Hopefully you will not be there. You can take your "I love you"s and shove them.
CHAN:    [confused, nervous] What are you doing?
MNCA: Just giving you what you want, [testy] "honey".

CHAN:    [annoyed] The way your acting right now I'm not sure you ever knew what I "wanted".
MNCA: [angry] Oh, so THAT'S your excuse?
CHAN:    [confused and in disbelief] What do I need excuses for?
MNCA: [pained] Oh my god, I can't believe you...

CHAN:    Yeah well right now the feeling it mutual.
MNCA: Oh screw this, I can't have a conversation with you these days...
[walks to the window]

CHAN:    [walking up behind her, he touches her arm, he talks soothingly] So
you just talk, and I'll listen. Tell me what's goin' on.
MNCA: [draws away from him] Well for one thing you could keep your hands
off me!
CHAN:    [jumping back, he is mad] What is this Monica? What are you trying to do to me? You love it when I touch you, I've sure never heard any complains before WHY NOW?
MNCA: How do you know I love it when you touch me? Not all of us are as "willing to be touched" as your litte phone buddy.

CHAN:    [confused] Phone buddy?... what? Are you feeling ok honey I think you might be sick. [he reaches out to feel her forehead]
MNCA: [recoiling, shouting] I said don't touch me! [a bit calmer] And don't try to sound like you don't know what I'm talking about. You know damn well what I mean by "phone buddy". Miss. [imitating Sebastian the crab] And-you-poke-your-lips-like-this...
CHAN:    Ok sweetie we really have to get you seen too.
MNCA: Who said you could call me "sweetie"? I'm not okay with that, I prefer to be called something that's reserved for ME, and not the entire female population close to you!
CHAN:    [feigning deep thought] Well that would be you... obviously... your ex roommates and best friends Rachel and Phoebe... hey how come all your best friends live with you and then move out? I'd never noticed that
before.
MNCA: [annoyed] Yeah, COOL! Seriously Chandler, add us to that list.
CHAN:    [confused] What the bestfriends living together, [sarcastic] aww
and here was me worried we were arguing and all the time you were being all
lovey about our relationship, that's so sweet honey.
MNCA: Focus! I'm talking about the moving out thing!
CHAN:    [shocked] You want us to move? Well where too?
MNCA: No, I want YOU to move. And to be honest, I don't give a flying G where you go!
CHAN:    [very taken aback] What are we role playing here? I mean is this supposed to be some sorta game to turn me on? 'Cause I tell you it ain't happening... how about I take the lead tonight babe?
MNCA: Oh will you stop it? When will you get it through that thick head of yours that life isn't all about sex! I am NOT talking about sex, I am talking about you taking your stuff and moving out!
CHAN:    [looking very serious, he is surprised] Your serious aren't you?
MNCA: Why would I be kidding about something like this? [sighs] Nah, forget it... don't move out...

CHAN:   [sarcastic but mad]  Well it's nice to know you take our relationship so seriously... since when were you so fickle?

MNCA: Since now, okay? But you know, I guess it's not really right of me to
tell you to leave...
CHAN:    I just don't understand why you would want too.
MNCA: [in her own thoughs] I mean, after all, _I_ could leave... At least
for a month or two...
CHAN:    Talk to me... tell me what your thinking.
MNCA: I am thinking that I should leave. Duh!
CHAN:    [confused] What for?
MNCA: [angry, snapping] What do you mean, "what for"? Let me tell you
something boyo, right now you are either one of two things. You're either
totally oblivious to what's going on, which makes you a pig and an asshole!
Or you're perfectly aware, but pretending not to know, which means you would
be manipulative and cruel! THAT'S what for!

CHAN:    [marching toward the door] I don't have to listen to this, I think
you need to calm down for just one minute and think about what you are
saying.
MNCA: [angry] Great, walk out on me, it's not like it would be a first! The
great Chandler Bing, always ready when you need sex, never there when you
want him to be!

CHAN:    [turning to her, he looks VERY hurt] Why are you doing this to me?
MNCA: [screaming, near tears] Me, to YOU?
CHAN:    [very upset, he sounds desperate] Look babe, I am sorry for whatever
it is you are going through and I am sorry that you are hurting but is this
really helping?
MNCA: [calmer] How can you be sorry when you are the cause? And to top it
all off, you're DENYING it! I am not an idiot, I KNOW what you've been up
to!
CHAN:    [still really upset, but mad now] I would NEVER cause you pain
deliberately Monica, so tell me what it is you think has happened and I will
straighten this all out in a second... please Monica... babe let me help
you.
MNCA: HELP me? Gosh, you are such a JERK, [angry and upset] stop trying to
deny it, I KNOW Chandler! I know EVERYTHING!

CHAN: [sarcastic, trying to hide his hurt] Well I'm glad... so tell me honey
what is the secret of life? Huh? Why are we here? Do we even have a purpose,
or is it true that this really is hell and that God is up there right now
looking down on our sad, torture filled lives? Because right now the way I
am feeling and knowing that you are hurting so bad supposedly because of me,
I can't imagine anything worse that hell could throw at me.
MNCA: And what the hell was that, a pathetic attempt to try and make me
forget? Too bad Chandler. I can never forget what you have done to me. And
your little monologue about heaven and hell suits pretty good for describing
life for me these past weeks.
CHAN: What happened?
MNCA: I'm not even gonna give you an answer to that lame question. You know
perfectly well what happened. And to be honest, right now I can't figure out
what the hell I see in you!
CHAN: Then leave me if that's what you really want... if you are so
disgusted with me as too put me through this then fine, but I never would
have thought you would have given up on us so easily, I never would have.
MNCA: [calm] Only I wasn't the one to give up. Seriously, did you really
think that you could get away with it? And why... [sighs] Chandler right now
I'd just settle for you admitting... okay? After all I have put up with,
don't you think that you at least owe me the honesty and the trust, the
RESPECT to be straight with me? And to take responsability for your actions?
[shakes her head, walks to the window] Chandler this is not like you. Not at
all. You've never been a coward. Well, okay, I take that back, but you've
never been disrespectful towards me. I don't even feel like I know you at
all these days. And to top it all off you're ready to let me go rather than
to admit what you've done to me. To US. [realizes] Oh my god, you've become
just like Rachel! [turns to face him] Saving your face rather than saving
our relationship, huh?

CHAN:    [tears in his eyes] Don't do this Mon, I don't know what to tell
you, I am so sorry that I can't relieve whatever it is you are going
through... but please think about what your saying, this isn't like you
either you know, this past while and with this attitude toward me... so
whatever it is just tell me and if I HAVE genuinely done something that
disrespects you then I will admit it... take it back, I will beg your
forgiveness but I want you to know I love you VERY much and I can't imagine
myself even thinking about hurting you, but if I have I will be the first to
admit it and try to fix this... I want US back.
MNCA: [mad that he's not admitting, reaches in her pocket and throws some
coins at him] Here's a dollar, call someone who cares. [rushes for the door]
CHAN:    [sheilds himself, but runs after her and grabs her arm] Monica...
what does all this mean?
MNCA: [yanks free] Stop touching me all the freaking time! [calmer] Okay,
you know what? I... I... [sighs] I really love you, Chandler. Don't ask me
why, but I do. And, and that's why I want to give you just one more chance.
One more, Chandler. Please don't throw it away, don't crush me yet again.
[steps even closer to him] Admit. Just admit. Admit what you have DONE.
Admit it Chandler, and I'll try my very best to forgive you. I will do
anything at all in my power to do so. If only you admit. And if you don't...
well I guess that in that case I'll see you around...

CHAN:    [at a loss] Monica I love you more than you'll ever know, I don't
want this to be over... please. I would do anything thing for you, you know
that, but you have to believe me I honestly don't know what you are talking
about.
[Monica looks at him for a second, then slowly walks to the door and
starts to exit. She stops just as she's about to close the door, turns and
looks at him]
MNCA: [softly, sad] So I guess I'll see you around then.
CHAN:    [softly to her] Monica don't do this.
MNCA: [sad] I never thought it would come to this... But I just can't stay
here any longer. [closes the door behind her]

CHAN:    [he goes to the door and opens it, he just sees her at the end of
the corridor] Monica... we were meant to be and you know it... what does
this mean?
MNCA: It means this Chandler... [stops, turns and looks at him] It means
you'll be going home by yourself tonight. Well, Phoebs and Ross will be with
you, but I'm not coming with. And for the record, I resent the thought that
I'd be meant to be with someone who would treat me the way you have.

CHAN:    [desperate] Monica I love you.
MNCA: [still calm] Like hell you do... this isn't love, treating people this
way isn't love... [walks closer] You're lying to me. Again. God, if you'd
only just stop lying to me...

CHAN:    [getting defensive, with anger in his voice] I have NEVER lied to
you, and I have never wanted too or needed too and I never will.
MNCA: [testy] And there you go again. Another lie. Seriously, is it even
possible for you these days NOT to lie for just a few MINUTES? Tell me
something, why on EARTH should I believe that you love me? Huh? Just give me
one good reason. Your words right now are contradicting your actions,
everything you've done lately has clearly said that you're not in love with
me. So go ahead. Convince me that you do in fact love me. [Chandler moves to
kiss her] And do it WITHOUT touching me!
CHAN:    [backing away] Look Monica where has all this come from? You have
never mentioned any of this before, what do you expect me to do huh?
MNCA: [slightly hurt, sad] I haven't mentioned any of this before because I
was hoping it wasn't true... I wanted so desperatly for it to be untrue, but
it's not, is it?
CHAN:    Whatever it is it must be untrue because if it is hurting you and
you say I caused it then I just can't believe that.
MNCA: [composing anger] Let's not go there again, shall we? You're getting
all annoying again... You know, you REALLY annoy me sometimes Like when you
leave crumbles on the table. What is THAT about?
CHAN:    [confused] No what is this about? Where has this come from?
MNCA: Which brings me to the next point. You annoy me allot when you're all
"what's going on, what are we talking about?". Can't you just quip some and
then either keep quiet or... [realises she doesn't know what she's saying]
do something else?
CHAN:    [confused, a little sarcastic] Do YOU even know what your saying?
MNCA: [obviously lying] Sure I do. And do you HAVE to be sarcastic all the
time? Personally I would never respond with sarcasm... Well, at least not as
often as you do.
CHAN:    [stepping closer to her] Well I wouldn't say you don't respond TO
sarcasm I mean you feel in love with me didn't you and I am famous for my
wit.
MNCA: Sure, but on the other hand you were never funny when you and I were
alone.
CHAN:    Well I didn't think that laughing was a huge turn on.
MNCA: [grumpy, crosses arms] No, but that doesn't surprise me, since I'm
right now supposed to be turned on by waiting at home for hours just to see
if I'll be blessed with your company or have to go to bed alone.

CHAN:    I told you I was sorry about that babe, I never meant to hurt you
but do you honestly think we can't survive a few measly nights being alone
when we have two years of pure love behind us?
MNCA: Sure we could. If we were BOTH alone.

CHAN:    I know you had our friends with you and you probably feel bad that
I was alone, but I don't mind so long as you are happy.
MNCA: [angry] No, you self-absorbed jerk! I wasn't talking about me feeling
sorry for you being alone, I was talking about YOU NOT feeling sorry for ME
'cause _I_ was alone when YOU weren't!
CHAN:    [In disbelief] I wasn't...  who was I with... [sarcastically] Oh
yeah a bunch of suits and skirts what a barrel of fun that is.
MNCA: [dry] The few minutes the skirts were actually ON.

CHAN:    Ok you are gonna have to be clearer, 'cause I can't argue with you
like this...

MNCA: Well that makes two of us, since _I_ can't argue with YOU when you
keep denying everything! Which is also something I don't like about you.
You're always trying to weasel yourself out of everything. Well it won't
work this time.
CHAN:    Good then maybe I'll get some answers to your backwards and
senseless questions.
MNCA: They're neither backwards nor sensless.
CHAN:    [under his breath] Yeah maybe not to you.
MNCA: [annoyed] Oh, so what's that supposed to mean, huh?
CHAN:    I think you know what I mean... why are you being so harsh with me
anyway, it's not like you.
MNCA: [frustraded, makes sort of an "argh!" gesture with her hands] LOOK,
just quit being a baby and a wuss and be HONEST with me! You've put me
through so much Chandler, I BEG you, be HONEST with me! Do not tell me one
more time that you don't know what I'm talking about, because I don't think
I can handle it. What is going ON here, do you want me to refresh your
memory or something? I wouldn't think you needed a refreshment.#

CHAN:    [sarcastically] I would never turn down a refreshment from you
honey.
MNCA: [disgusted] Oh get real! [starting to choke up] Why are you DOING
this, is this supposed to be FUNNY? Is all of this FUN to you?
CHAN:    [concerned, nervous] I'm sorry honey, but I just don't know what to
say to you... and hey you should really take it as a compliment if you think
about it I mean I only get defensive and quippy when something is really
effecting me... [he looks on at the upset Monica] Come here, [he pulls her
into a hug].
MNCA: [getting a grip] Chandler enough of that, okay? [pushes him away] You
know, you keep saying that you want what's good for me and that you love me,
and that's your sorry, but then why can't you just, just... I want to hear
you admit what you have done to me. It will hurt me for sure, but it's
better to hear it from your lips than having it thrown in my face by another
phone call. So PLEASE, if you ever loved me just at all... tell me, just say
it, tell me to my face what you've been doing. Not that I don't know, but I
need to hear you say it now, or I'll never get any closure.
CHAN:    [taking a deep breath] Ok then, I'll say it... if you are sure it
is what you wanna hear.
MNCA: [taking a deep breath as well] I don't WANT to hear it, I NEED to hear
it...
CHAN:    Ok then, [looking into her eyes] Monica, I realise I have been
working late and neglecting you and I am sorry... I will do whatever it
takes to make this up to you and I am sorry I put you through pain with
this, I never meant to. Can you forgive me?
MNCA: [sad] I think I can, if you just TELL ME. Stop playing around, stop
toying with me, tell me straight to my face what you've done, and possibly
still are doing. Then I think I can forgive you. Well, maybe not if you're
still doing it, but even if you are just let me know. So just say it, okay?
Please, if my love means anything to you, then just tell me right now, right
here, no excuses, no more promises that you'll treat me better. TELL ME
Chandler.

CHAN:    [mad] You know what I ain't gonna stand here and take this. Monica
I love you more than life and work, I would do anything to show you that...
to prove it too you, even though I never thought you were so insecure for me
to have too, I thought that was my role. But I ain't gonna stand here and
listen to you accuse me in some round about way of something I have no idea
what and just take it... so until you are ready to talk to me properly and
tell me what is going on... and if my love ever meant anything to YOU then
you would respect me at least enough to do that... but if you are just gonna
keep on like this then I am outta here, until you are ready to talk to me
seriously and honestly and let me know what is going on because honestly
babe, you are driving me nuts with this round the houses double talk, so...
[he kisses her cheek quickly, and looks at her] Come find me when you are
ready to talk, I'll sure be ready [he marches off].
MNCA: [annoyed] So you won't deny it that time? What, you need time to
prepare to tell me the truth, is that it? [angry] Fine, walk away, leave,
that just proves your love, doesn't it? We hit a tough subject and you are
out the door faster than you can say chicken! Well then go, if I mean that
little to you then fine. I won't bother you anymore. [heads for the door as
well]

CHAN: [turning, stopping her in her tracks because they are so close] I
don't know what is going on here, I never have and if you don't tell me I
never will. I need to prepare myself for the insanity the one I love,
because right now you are making no sense at all and I won't let you do
something to US we will both regret in the heat of the moment.
MNCA: Then how come YOU did something to us in the heat of the moment? But
then again maybe you didn't regret it. Maybe you were the one who initiated
it. How the heck should I know? Or maybe doing things in the heat of the
moment is another one of the things you think that you're allowed to do and
I'm not, just like with the flirting thing. Either way I'm out of here, get
out of my way!

CHAN:    [not moving, stopping her] ME!? I never brought up anything, and
how come I am so annoying all of a sudden I mean your not so hot yourself.
MNCA: So THAT'S your excuse?
CHAN:    Why am I making excuses? I mean that you have your own neurotic
habits that I mostly find endearing but sometimes it is just all a little
much to take like, oh I don't know... CRUMBIES!... What is that about?
MNCA: That's too much to take all of a sudden? A little tidyness is too much
to take? Well fine then, live as you wish, wallow in garbage, leave so many
crumbles that you can't see the kitchen table, let the rats take over! Do
whatever you wish, but you're gonna be doing it on your own.

CHAN:    [Annoyed] I would do ANYTHING for you, I can't believe what you are
saying here.
MNCA: [softly] Chandler is that true? Would you do anything in the world for
me? Would you?

CHAN:    [softly back] You know I would...ANYTHING... but why do I feel like
this is a trap?
MNCA: [testy] Wow, that's mighty big of you! Doing anything at all for
someone who you think is out to trap you! Thanks allot for that confidence!
Even _I_ have more trust in YOU, and god knows I shouldn't! [angrily walks
off and sits on a training-bike]
CHAN:    [mad] Well what do you expect me to think Monica, you are so
changable I can't even get my head round it... [he walks over to her and
puts his hands on the handlebars of the bike] [softly] What are you
thinking?... Just tell me what is in your head right now.
MNCA: [shakes head] Trust me, you wouldn't want to know.
CHAN:    [reaching out stroking her cheek, he looks in to her eyes] Of
course I do.
MNCA: Oh yeah? [sighs] I'm thinking I'm a fool for keeping this up, I should
have given up earlier on. [rises, walks away from him] I mean, I've got all
the proof I need, but I love you so very much that that's what's kept me
here... And I'm also thinking that maybe I can't say I love someone whom I
obviously don't know, because the Chandler I thought I knew wouldn't have...
[trails off] It doesn't matter. [looks at him] Told you you wouldn't wanna
hear it. There's more, but you probably don't want to hear that either, and
you'll probably just think I'm a bitch.
CHAN:    [walking right up close to her] I could never think that Monica, I
love you... you are my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without
you. [he looks into her eyes and smiles]
MNCA: [hurt] I just... don't understand... If this is true, then why did you
do what you did? And why did you let me sit home all alone on our
anniversary, while you were out having some fancy dinner with Samantha?
[hurt and upset] I have feelings too, you know, [walks away from him again]
you can't just be my boyfriend whenever it suits YOU.

CHAN:    [confused] I am your boyfriend all the time, it always suits me
because I love it, I thought you felt the same, to my knowledge I have never
done anything to contradict that fact.
MNCA: [angry, very sarcastic] Yeah, and you sure did prove it last night,
didn't you? Yeah, you REALLY let me know how you just LOOOOOOVE being my
boyfriend, I mean after all you DID come home at least to SLEEP! Why the
hell am I complaining?
CHAN:     You think I feel good about last night? I hate myself for that,
but you KNOW how much I love you, I just got mixed up with the days that's
all, they are just all running into each other, I get hardly any sleep since
all this WENUS work collapsed, and I would have liked nothing better than to
forget it all and have spent a romantic night with you, I had been dreaming
about that day all year, and I feel like such an idiot for missing it but we
can make that up, let's go away... just you and me.
MNCA: [angry] Oh come on Chandler, after being away for ten minutes you
would either get called back to work or spend the rest of the time on the
phone with work! And for whatever it's worth, if you care really much about
someone then you won't forget your anniversary. That's just something you
don't do! You didn't just forget the date, I got nothing out of you! Not
even a single flower! All I wanted for last night was to be with you, no
matter what we did, but someone in this relationship considers work more
important so what can I do about it? [pitiful] Or maybe you weren't even
working at all last night... not with the W.E.N.U.S., anyway!

CHAN:    I actually meant for us to go away AFTER the WENUS was fixed, but
in my defence of last night I did get you a present, not that you really
seem interested I mean you are just here to yell at me and get all mad,
which is fine, you do that, because you can't make me stop loving you but I
can't promise I won't hurt you again, I don't want to break a promise to you, but

I will try my hardest not too.

MNCA: [still pretty angry] Yeah, that present wouldn't be one your secretary
bought, now would it? And why weren't you home to give it to me? And just so
you know, no, I am not out to yell at you here, but I am mad and I am hurt
and you're not doing much to remedy that. You deny EVERYTHING more or less,
and what you're not denying, like the fact that you ditched me last night,
you give really lame excuses for.

CHAN:    [really confused, in disbelief] What are you going on about?
MNCA: [knocks him on the forehead] Hello? Have you been miles away during
the past fifteen minutes? Have you totally missed what we've been fighting
about? What's the matter with you, can't you stay focused when it comes to
our relationship for just 15 minutes?

CHAN:    I am always focussed about our relationship I spend half my life
thinking about it but I have no idea where SABRINA comes into it, I mean why
would she buy you a gift for OUR anniversary?
MNCA: I don't want to talk about her, and you're too chicken to do so, and
you know what? I don't think we can work this issue out.
CHAN:    What is this issue? I mean we can work past anything that is our
tag, our love really does conquer all.
MNCA: I know I've done this part before, but one last chance, Chandler
Bing... Either you tell me exactly what you're doing to me here at your
office, or I am out the door. I can't work on saving a love which only goes
one way.
CHAN:    Yeah and by the way you are so ready to give up on us so easily I
guess it is coming from my way, Monica if you don't want me just say it
don't try to pin anything on me because I really have no idea what you are
talking about.

MNCA: How can you just stand there and turn everything YOU'VE done against
ME? I can't BELIEVE you, whatever happened to the Chandler Bing I fell in
love with? We used to have so much in common, that used to be the great
thing about us. And all of a sudden you've changed, maybe I have too, but
you're the one who's the most different, and to be honest I can't think of
two things we have in common anymore.

CHAN:    Well there are so many things that you obviously don't want to see
them.
MNCA: Like what? My picture of a relationship is of two people loving each
other and being there for each other. And my picture contains trust,
honesty, respect... Judging by how you act these days I can't think of one
thing that I just mentioned that exists in YOUR version. We're so different
now, can't you see that? I, I actually thought maybe that was your reason!
Come on Chandler, we're so different we're not even making each other happy!
CHAN:    You make me happy!
MNCA: [annoyed] You sure have a hell of a way of showing it. [sarcasm] I
just make you so happy that you'd rather sit in an office or at a restaurant
with a co-worker than coming home to me for more than a few hours of sleep.
Those nights you DO come home.

CHAN:    How could you think we were different Monica, I mean we share so
much we were meant for each other, I understand if you are feeling pressured
in the relationship but we can take a step back if you wanna, whatever makes
you comfortable... [laughing nervously] The way you are talking you might
think you wanted to end this.
MNCA: It's not so much wanting as knowing it's inevitable.
CHAN:    [shocked] Since when?
MNCA: You, of all people, should know. Hell, you know even before I did!

CHAN:    I guess your right... I mean why would someone as incredible as you
ever want to stick with a loser like me, [he sits on the floor looking down
and defeated]
MNCA: [not as annoyed] Don't you dare try and play that trick on me. I do
not need to feel guilty, I have done nothing wrong.
CHAN:    [looking up at her] I don't want your guilt Monica, I want to know
why you are doing this?
MNCA: For the reasons you won't admit to. You know what they are. Don't try
to tell me that you don't. [annoyed again] Why do you always have to make
things harder than they are? It's OVER, Chandler. There's nothing left to
save. Nothing that I know HOW to save. And you know why. You do!

CHAN:    [jumping up and standing in front of her] Then let me try...
please, I can save this, us... just give me a little time... I love you[He
strokes her cheek and leans in to kiss her. Monica moves her head away so he
ends up "kissing" thin air]
MNCA: You? You're the one who brought it to this point. [walks to the door]
We've tried to storm out on each other earlier, and I guess third time's the
charm. You can't save this any more than I can. You couldn't even keep it
together for two years, and now it's too late.

CHAN:    [running over to the door and blocking it] We're not leaving here
until you see what you are doing and you come to your senses... this isn't
you, we LOVE each other, we NEED each other Monica, don't tell me everything
we've had means nothing?
MNCA: [obviously near tears] It sure doesn't mean anything to you, so why
should I set myself up to be hurt once more, by caring about what we, as you
said yourself, HAD?

CHAN:    Do you wanna walk out on me?
MNCA: I'd rather do that than stay in a relationship like this.
CHAN:    [stepping away from the door solemnly] It's your call, but there's
no turning back Monica.
MNCA: Well good-bye, then. [opens the door to exit]
CHAN:    Please tell me you are just letting some air into the room, before
something amazing happens.
MNCA: Well, if being free again is amazing to you, then I guess that's
what I'm doing. [exits]
CHAN:    [turning to go after her] You don't know what your doing Monica, if
you truly understood this, you wouldn't be doing it I know that, what is
making you do this?
MNCA: YOU! [turns] Hey, are you trying to follow me out in the hall, or
something?
CHAN:    [chivelrous] I'd follow you to the ends of the earth.
MNCA: [fast] Good, so not out in the hall, then! [shuts the door]

CHAN:    [plainly] Do you want me to come after you?
MNCA: [opens the door again] Let me put this in a way you might
understand. [does the double fist knock, then thinks about it] You know,
Rachel does have a point, being bitchy can actually be satisfying [angry]
See ya'! [slams the door shut]
CHAN:    [opening the door] Being bitchy isn't your style babe.
MNCA: [angry] Oh yeah? How's THIS for "being bitchy's not my style"?
[She slams the door shut. Again. We hear the twist of a key]
CHAN:    [nervous] Hey... [trying the door handle, banging on the door]
Hey... this isn't funny... what are you doing?.... [standing back] [shouting
through the door] Well you know where I am if you change your mind.

[Closing Credits]

[Scene: Jack and Judy's front door. Ross and Phoebe are getting their coats,
looking annoyed]
ROSS: [calling out] Monica! Chandler! Come on, let's get the hell out of
here!
[Chandler enters and mutters something, getting his coat]
PHOE: [annoyed] Aren't we Mr. Sunshine?
CHAN: Comes from the right person. You don't look so thrilled yourself.
PHOE: [childish] Well at least _I_ have a REASON!
JUDY: [enters] Are you leaving already?
[Phoebe, Ross and Chandler all mumble something that can be interpreted as a
Yes]
JUDY: Well where's Monica? [no answer, she turns to Chandler] Where is she?
CHAN: [annoyed] What am I, the guy with all the answers? As it turns out I
don't know ANYTHING! [really annoyed] And what is it with you Gellers and
accusing people of things they know nothing about?
JUDY: [unsure what to make of the situation] Maybe I'll just go look for
her... [leaves]
PHOE: Where IS Monica?
[Chandler makes a very annoyed noise]
ROSS: [to Phoebe] I don't know, but I'm guessing she's not gonna leave that
place to come home with us.
PHOE: [shocked, to Chandler] You broke up? Wow that is so... [thinks about
it] expected...
CHAN: What?
PHOE: Oh never mind me, let's just go, okay? Wow, when I think about it you
DO have a reason to look grumpy... [off Ross's look] But on the other hand
at least I didn't bring MY reason on myself.
CHAN: And what the hell is THAT supp--
ROSS: [not wanting a fight] Okay, everyone out the door, you can give each
other the silent treatment in the car on the way home. Hurry up now!
[He ushers them out. Judy returns]
JUDY: Well I didn't find Monica, but maybe you should... tell me why I'm
standing here talking to myself...

The End...