TOW the Party

[Hospital room]

{Chandler is still sleeping and Monica is in bed, but she's scrubbing everything around her…Chandler slowly wakes up, but she doesn't see him, he just watches and smiles for a little bit}

Chandler: Monica…

Monica: (startled) AHH! You scared me

Chandler: what are you doing?

Monica: what does it look like…I'm voting, do you think Jesse Ventura would make a good president? (starts to clean some more)

Chandler: (sarcastic) personally I'd go for Donald Trump…(she's still cleaning) honey it's a hospital, I think it's clean

Monica: no I must clean

Chandler: honey, sweetie…

Monica: (evil) WHAT!!!

Chandler: uh…I love you

Monica: (sweetly) I love you too (continues to clean)

(the doctor enters and Monica stops)

Doctor: good morning Miss Geller

Chandler/Monica: hello

Doctor: well everything looks good, just get a lot of rest, drink a lot of liquids, no coffee or alcohol, and you might want to take a few days off of work

Monica: all right

Doctor: while you're here we could do a sonogram, and if you want to know we can find out the sexes of the babies

Chandler: what do you think honey, you wanna know?

Monica: it might be easier for naming them, sure

Doctor: all right (hooks Monica up to the monitor) well it look like baby number one (on the left) is a girl and baby number two (on the right) is a…boy

Monica: oh my god! A boy and a girl! Oh my god!

Chandler: (in awe) I'm going to have a son AND a daughter!

Monica: oh my god (Chandler and Monica hug and kiss)

Doctor: so any names?

Monica: I think we'll think about it

Chandler: yeah, but I definitely don't want to name them after anyone

Monica: yeah, totally we don't want to favor anyone…you know World War 3

[Central Perk - a few days later]

{Monica and Chandler are reading a baby book}

Chandler: what about Adam and Alison

Monica: no I hate when twins have rhyming or same letter names

Chandler: okay what about zoo-blah-blah and Bob

Monica: (gives him a look- then sarcastically) oh yeah sure!

Chandler: okay, I'm going to open the book and whatever I point to is going to be one of our children's names (does so) uh looks like Matthew (now who doesn't like that name. hey I said they weren't going to name the children after anyone doesn't mean I can't)

Monica: all right I like that it's nice and simple. Give me the book (does the same thing) Jayme (my best friend's name)

Chandler: good they're not named after anyone, they don't rhyme and they don't start with the same letter

Monica: Matthew and Jayme, that sounds great!

(Ross walks in-remember his hair)

Chandler: how do you expect me not to make fun of you

Ross: (sarcastic) I don't, but how about you try really, really hard

Chandler: sure thing…(making fun of Ross) hey could I get an iced tea and a scone?

Ross: oh you're hilarious

Chandler: thanks I try

Monica: (before they can go any further) hey Ross guess what we've named the twins!

Ross: oh really what?

Monica: Matthew and Jayme

Ross: why

Chandler: because

Ross: oh "because," that's a great answer I thought you were going to leave me out in the dark on this one

Monica: we didn't want to favor anyone so we just picked two random names

Ross: but why

Monica: I just told you

Ross: fine whatever…so uh what's up

Chandler: nothing why

Ross: no reason…you guys want to go to a movie? (k I know the go to the movies a lot but I can't think of anything else to do)

Monica/Chandler: yeah sure

Ross: let's get the others I think they're upstairs

(they get up and leave)

[Rachel and Monica's]

{there are a lot of people ready for the surprise party, the boxes are of to the side…the people include the Gellers, Nora, John, Nic, Alex, Gunther, Langford, and more.}

Rachel: you guys they're going to be here any minute, be quite

Joey: why did you invite Langford, he doesn't even know Chandler and Monica

Rachel: so I don't care it's my party and I'll invite who I want to

Joey: but I thought it was a party for Chandler and Monica

Rachel: (warningly) Joey

Joey: uh…is that the duck calling for me? (walks away)

(the buzzer buzzes three times)

Rachel: all right they're here everybody get ready

(someone turns off the lights and everybody gets quiet…the door opens and Chandler turns on the light)

All: Surprise!!!

Chandler: what is all of this

Rachel: it's a surprise party

Monica: we got that part

Phoebe: it's like a 'Congratulations' party, you know the baby…s the wedding, everything

Monica: well thanks you guys

Rachel: aw you're welcome

Joey: all right lets part-tay

Ross: who talks like that

Joey: who has hair like that

Ross: UGH!!!

Chandler: good one Ross

Monica: hi mom, dad, etc… I don't know you (Langford)

Rachel: this is my date Langford

Ross: (disturbed) date oh that's nice

Rachel: (doesn't notice Ross) we met on the internet and we just got along really well so I invited him

Monica: all right, it's nice to meet you Langford, I'm Monica and this is my fiancé Chandler

(they all shake hands blah, blah, blah…then they start to mingle)

Monica: (whispering to Phoebe) if Rachel is in love with Ross then why is she here with Langford

Phoebe: I don't know it's not like I'm the keeper of Rachel or anything…that would be a cool job

Monica: never mind

(Cut to Nora, John, by the window)

Nora: hello John

John: (awkward) Nora…um it's…uh nice to see you again

Nora: yeah…yeah

(Nic and Alex walk up)

Alex: (introducing herself to Nora) hi I'm Alex, I'm John's wife and this is our daughter Nicole

Nic: mom it's Nic!

Alex: oh I'm sorry…Nic

Nora: (kind of shocked) you don't know who I am?

Alex: no I'm sorry should I?

Nora: my name is Nora…Nora BING

Nic: Bing that's funny that's our na…wait!!! YOU'RE CHANDLER'S MOM!!!

Nora: yes that is correct

Nic: so that means you're dad's ex-wife

Nora: that is also correct

Alex: (now not so cherry) well John I'm going to go back downstairs and unpack some more…come Nicole

Nic: it's Nic!

Alex: whatever, don't talk back

John: I should probably get going too

Nora: yeah she seems pretty upset

John: good bye

(John leaves)

Nora: (after John leaves) bye John

(Chandler walks up to her)

Chandler: hey mom what's up

Nora: nothing I just met Alex

Chandler: oh I'm sorry…how'd she take it that you're dad's ex-wife

Nora: (smiling) not too good

Chandler: (sarcastic) oh darn…(serious) but I do have to say I like Nic, it's nice to have a little baby sister

(Cut to Rachel and Monica talking by Rach's room)

Monica: so Langford seems nice

Rachel: oh he's great and look at him he's cute too

Monica: why haven't you told me about him

Rachel: well this is the first time we've really met, we've only been talking on the internet

Monica: what if he was some psycho killer

Rachel: well he's not

Monica: (lowering her voice) what about Ross

Rachel: what about Ross

Monica: well Phoebe and I have noticed a connection between you two

Rachel: you guys are crazy, there's nothing going on with me and Ross

(Phoebe joins them)

Phoebe: oh there so totally is

Monica: thank you Phoebe…Rachel just think about it

Phoebe: it'd be great if you two got back together

(Ross overhears this and interrupts)

Ross: got back together with who

Monica: uh…um…er…

Phoebe/Monica: (at the same time) Paolo/Joshua

Ross: Phoebe why would she want to get back together with Paolo

Phoebe: I don't know

Ross: all right, I'm going to go back to talk to Langford, he's really interesting (he leaves)

Monica: hey Rach I love the party and all but I should really be getting rest. All of this can't be that great for the babies

Rachel: (not really paying attention and watching Ross and Langford) yeah…huh…sure

Phoebe: (whispering to Monica) look at her she's totally cluless

Monica: (giggling) I know…(regular voice) well good night you guys (she leaves)

(Monica goes to Chandler, who is still talking to his mom and a few other people)

Monica: honey I'm going to head over to your apartment because I need some rest (she gives him a little kiss)

Chandler: (to her as she's leaving) all right I'll be over in a little bit

[Chandler and Joey's apt. - morning]

{Monica and Chandler are eating at the counter and Joey is just stepping out of his room}

Joey: hey you guys…what are you doing over here? Monica I thought you hated eating over here because you said we're pigs (he says as he's shoves a WHLOE doughnut in his mouth at once)

Monica: (looking at him in disgust) yeah well…(she can't take the sight of him with doughnut all over his face) use a napkin (then runs out of the apartment)

Chandler: good job…you have doughnut on your face here (hands him a napkin)

Joey: thanks (barely gets any of it off)

Chandler: well I better go see how Monica's doing (leaves)

[Monica and Rachel's apt.]

{Monica is in there looking at Rachel's door then Chandler comes in}

Chandler: honey no matter how hard you try I don't think you'll be able to open that door with your mind

Monica: (snapping out of it) huh…oh I heard voices I think Rachel's in there with Langford (sounding disappointed at Langford's name)

Chandler: (not getting the inflection of Monica's voice) so

Monica: (babbling) well if she slept with Langford that means she never talked to Ross last night or she did and it didn't go well oh I'm so worried I wanted it to work out

Chandler: did I miss something?

Monica: oh you're not Phoebe

Chandler: and it's taken you 12 years to figure that out

Monica: no I mean Phoebe and I have been talking and we've noticed a *new* closeness between Ross and Rachel. Then we told Rachel to see if she knew what we were talking about

Chandler: oh I see

Monica: we were just hoping…

(Rachel's door opens)

Monica: (shushing herself and Chandler) never mind

(And guess who comes out! ROSS!!!!) (didn't Phoebe say they were going to get back together-TOW More Surprises)

Chandler/Monica: OH MY GOD!

Ross: (stops dead in his tracks) uh…

Rachel: hi Mon…um…when did you get in?

Monica: oh…my…god!

Chandler: (still staring at Ross and Rachel) honey you said that already

Monica: so does this mean you guys are back together?

Rachel: well we're going to see how it goes

Chandler: well that's great…I just hope Joey and Phoebe don't feel pressured to get together (chuckles a little)

Ross/Rachel: oh yeah sure…

Chandler: Mon, honey we have to go and meet my mom for lunch

Monica: oh yeah. All right we'll see you guys later

(they leave)

Rachel: (uncomfortable and clearly lying) so what we did last night was stupid just a drunken stupid mistake

Ross: (also clearly lying) oh yeah, yeah stupid

Rachel: but it felt so good

Ross: so what does this mean, I mean do you want to get back together? What's going on Rach

Rachel: I don't know I don't know, I think I need some time to think about it, you know

Ross: yeah, uh-huh…well I have to go now

Rachel: yes, yes good-bye

Ross: wait, what are we supposed to tell Chandler and Monica? We said we were getting back together

Rachel: I'll think of something

Ross: all right

(Ross walks out the door)

Rachel: (looking longingly after the door) I love you Ross Geller

[Ross on the outside of the door]

Ross: (staring at the door) I love you Rachel Greene

[restaurant]

{Nora, Chandler and Monica are eating}

Nora: Chandler for a wedding present and to start you guys off right I wanted to give you enough money for at least a year's rent, baby clothes, food, supplies, and a trip

Monica: oh Nora we couldn't possibly accept

Nora: oh but you must

Chandler: thank you mom that's VERY generous

Nora: you're welcome sweetheart

(waitress walks up but you can't see her yet)

Waitress: are you all ready to order?

Monica: well I'm famished (I just REALLY, REALLY wanted to use that word but I don't know why) I think I'm going to order a steak and a baked potato

Waitress: very well and you sir

Chandler: I'm going to have…(looks up) KATHY! (don't ask why I keep bringing back all of these guest stars they just happen)

Kathy: Ch…Chandler! Oh my god!

Chandler: what are you doing here!?

Kathy: well I'm in between acting jobs…(looks at Monica) hi Monica how are you, wow look at you. So who's the lucky guy

Monica: uh…Chandler is

Kathy: (a little disappointed) oh…well that's great when did you two get together

Nora: I would still like to order

Kathy: oh I'm totally sorry…wow this is a little awkward

Nora: that's okay I would like a chef's salad and an iced tea

Chandler: and I would like a hamburger

Kathy: sure thing well I'll be right back

(she leaves)

Monica: wow this is weird

Chandler: we can leave if you want

Monica: no because I don't want Kathy to feel bad

Chandler: are you sure?

Monica: yeah it'll be fine

Nora: well other than this little awkwardness how are you kids today

Chandler: we're okay except for the other awkwardness that we encountered this morning

Nora: really what was that

Monica: Ross and Rachel…together

Nora: oh my…that's great

Monica: yeah it is

(Kathy returns with their food)

Chandler: wow that was really fast

Kathy: (putting the food on the table) Chandler, you had the hamburger (sets it down) Monica, the steak and potato, and Mrs. Bing, a chef's salad

Chandler: thank you

Monica: so Kathy how are you doing

Kathy: good, good…um I should really get back to work

Monica: alright well we'll see you

(Kathy leaves)

Nora: well this officially has been a weird week

Chandler: yeah it has…Mon hon do you think I should start moving my stuff in today

Monica: I don't want Rachel to feel rushed though because this is kind of hard for her you know

Chandler: yeah okay

[cut to Rachel in her room]

{Rachel is packing}

Rachel: (pulling a shoebox out of her closet) oh my god (lifting a ticket stub out then half of an egg shell) oh Ross I miss you so much (crying) I'm sorry Ross (she hears the front door and dries her tears)

Ross: Rach, Rach? Are you here?

Rachel: (coming out of her room) yes, what is it?

Ross: (not really knowing what to say) I uh…um…I think we need to talk

Rachel: I think you're right

(they sit down at the table)

Ross: I was thinking and…

Rachel: I've been thinking too…

Ross: did it have to do with…with "us"

Rachel: actually…yes

Ross: me too…I uh think maybe we should try this again, I love being with you Rach, what do you say

Rachel: (very quietly) yes

Ross: did you say yes!? Oh my god Rachel this is so great (he picks her up and spins her around the room)

Rachel: oh Ross (still in his arms with her legs around his waist, she kisses him)

Ross: hey I have a question now (Rachel gets off) do you want to tell everyone or keep it a secret like Chandler and Monica did

Rachel: well it would kind of exciting sneaking around and everything (gives a nice little devilish smile)

Ross: oh yeah (they move it to the bedroom)

NEXT DAY

[Monica and Rachel's apt.]

{Monica is doing the dishes and Rachel just comes out of her room}

Monica: gooood morning so tell me now if you and Ross are for sure together come on spill it!!!! (stops doing the dishes and sets Rachel down at the table)

Rachel: Monica! Chill! The other night was just a mistake nothing really happened

Monica: (whiney) Racheeeellll! You two were supposed to get together it would have been so great!!!

Rachel: just because Ross and I aren't together doesn't mean it's the end of the world

Monica: it still would have been great though…oh guess who Chandler and I ran into yesterday

Rachel: (getting up to go to the fridge and gets a Snapple) who? (taking a drink)

Monica: Kathy

Rachel: (practically spitting her drink out, laughing) oh my god that must have been REALLY awkward. Where?

Monica: the restaurant Chandler, Nora and I went to last night, um Mercury's, she works there now…you so totally should of seen her face when she found out about me and Chandler it was to die for (laughs)

Rachel: (not meaning it) oh how sad (also laughs)

[Central Perk]

{Chandler and Ross are on the couch talking when Alex comes in with Nic}

Nic: (cheerful) hi Chandler and…Ross right

Chandler: hi Nic! Yeah you're right this is Monica's brother, Ross

Ross: hello

Alex: Chandler, hi could you do me this little favor

Chandler: what is it?

Alex: well you see John and I have to go out of town for about a week, or so could you please take care of Nicole

Nic: (protesting) it's Nic! And I can take care of myself!

Alex: oh no you're not if Chandler can watch you that'll be other wise it's back to grandma's

Nic: oh god no! Chandler can I please, please, please let me stay with you

Chandler: I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem…I'm going to start moving in a couple of days, so could you help out with that?

Nic: um…sure I guess, mom when are you leaving?

Alex: (looking at her watch) actually I need to go to the airport in about an hour and a half. I'm sorry about the short notice Chandler

Chandler: that's okay, but you should go get ready now

Alex: thanks again, bye honey

Nic: bye mom!

(Alex leaves)

Chandler: so Nic what do you like to do

Nic: nuttin

Ross: out of everything in the world, you like to do (mocking) "nuttin"

Nic: yup

Chandler: how about we go upstairs, I've got a Playstation

Nic: alright (getting up)

Ross: unfortunately I can't join you, I have to be somewhere

Chandler: sure, see ya man

(Chandler and Nic leave)

(Ross starts to get up and leave but Rachel enters)

Rachel: oh were you going to leave?

Ross: me? Leave? I have no plans where would I go? (sits back down with Rachel)

[Chandler and Joey's]

{no one is in there but Chandler and Nic enter}

Chandler: (pointing) so there is the…

Nic: I know I know (sets up the playstation in record time)

Chandler: (to himself) wow being a father is going to be easy, all I need are video games

Nic: (to the game) no, no, no, aw come on I so beat that guy!

(Monica enters)

Monica: hi (gives Chandler a little peck) what's Nic doing here

Chandler: well actually Alex came by and just kind of sprung her on me for a few days, do you mind?

Monica: no, this will be fun, what is she doing

Chandler: playing video games

Monica: why don't you guys go out and do something "fun"

Chandler: she said she didn't want to do anything

Monica: did you ask her right

Chandler: Mon, hon, I think I know how to ask a question, it's not like you need special training or anything

Monica: trust me, how did you ask her

Chandler: you're crazy, I said what do you like to do? And she said "nuttin"

Monica: do you not know nothing! (as if it were obvious) that's not how you ask a teenager what she want's to do, you have to give her options like: do you want to go shopping, or the movies, etc (k I know that's not really true, being a teenager myself but I just had to say it, it just came out)

Chandler: whatever

Monica: watch! (to Nic) hey Nic do you want to go to the movies?

Nic: (bored) no

Chandler: ha!

Monica: we haven't found something she likes (to Nic) do you want to go to the library?

Nic: (bored) no

Chandler: ha, ha! (in disbelief) the library?

Monica: some kids like the library. (Chandler gives her a look - "yeah right") shut up! Fine last time (to Nic) do you want to go shopping? (Chandler starts to giggle thinking he's right)

Nic: (first hesitates then quickly standing up) come on let's go!!!

Chandler: (confused) aw…but…huh (Monica kisses him to shut him up)

Monica: told ya

(Nic and Monica leave but Chandler is still there surprised)

[the mall]

{Monica and Nic are just walking around}

Nic: thanks for taking me shopping, you know because we just moved here, I don't really have any friends yet.

Monica: I'm sure, you'll meet some soon, you're a nice girl

Nic: thanks, could you tell me a story of my brother, because you probably know him better than anyone in the world

Monica: alright, what do you want to know?

Nic: I don't know anything…like why is he so weird and stuff

Monica: how about we just start at the beginning…when Chandler was about nine…(she tells Nic everything she knows about Chandler)

[the hallway between the apartments]

{Monica and Nic walk up holding a few bags}

Monica: (finishing up her story) …then a few days ago we meet you and your mom and you know the rest (I know the story probably wouldn't of last all day but just think they did like other stuff or something)

Nic: wow…(looking around) so where am I staying? Yours or Chandler's?

Monica: well where do you want to be, Chandler is probably going to be at my apartment most of the time

Nic: then yours I guess

Monica: how are on couches, I know the can be uncomfortable sometimes

Nic: I think I'll be fine, can I watch TV

Monica: (entering her apt) of course

[Monica and Rachel's apt.]

{Ross and Rachel are in there watching TV (kind of close together)}

Monica: hey guys, for not being together, you sure are "together" a lot

Rachel: (trying to act cool) no we're not!

Monica: if you say so, well this is Nic, you know Chandler's sister, and she's going to be staying here for at least a week

Rachel: hi Nic

Nic: sup

Rachel: nothing, um there's pizza on the table if you want any

Nic: oh sure thanks (she gets pizza)

Ross: so where did you guys go today

Monica: oh just to the mall

Rachel: (hurt) without me

Monica: sorry but you weren't around

Rachel: where did you look

Monica: (caught) all right so we didn't, I'm sorry

Rachel: eh that's okay…so what did you buy

Nic: nuttin much…just stuff

Ross: ooh that's specific (Nic sticks her tongue out at him) are you going to let her do that to me!

Monica: she's a kid, you're an adult, stand up for yourself

Ross: you're right (to Nic) you know what I'm going to do!

Nic: WHAT!

(Ross does his little "look" - like he's going to say something but doesn't then leaves)

Rachel: don't pay attention to him

Nic: I wasn't (getting up) so where am I crashing

Monica: how about right here on the couch or I could go dig out a cot

Nic: I'll try the couch first

Monica: well it's already almost 10:00pm and I'm guessing you have school tomorrow, what time

Nic: 7:00am

Rachel: then we'll let you go to sleep (Rachel goes to her room)

Monica: um the bathroom's over there (points) if you want some water or something in the middle of the night the glasses are here (points) I'm going over to Chandler's for a little bit I'll try not to disturb you when I get back

Nic: thanks good night

(Nic goes to the bathroom and Monica goes to Chandler's)

[Chandler and Joey's apartment]

{Chandler is there reading a magazine (Teen People if you must know) and Monica enters}

Monica: (comes over to him as he hides the magazine) hey sweetie, what are you reading

Chandler: uh nothing

Monica: (after digging the magazine out from under him and trying not to laugh {too hard}) Teen People?

Chandler: (sarcastic) yes what's so wrong about that I'm taking a quiz to see which Backstreet Boy is the one for me, I hope I get Kevin (personally I would choose Brian but that's a shout out to my bud Kenna ~ there you happy I said Kevin!…p.s. Matthew is still hotter)

Monica: (not believing him) Chandler

Chandler: I was hoping if I read that, I could relate to Nic better…I don't think I'm going to be a good father if I can't even communicate with my own sister

Monica: Chandler you just met her, she's 13…no one can communicate to her, and you're her brother not her father

Chandler: alright so how about we call it a day…

Monica: you're on "Mr. Big"

(they go into Chandler's room)

THE END