The One With The How You Doin's

[We hear Joeyís voice telling us a brief overview of what happened during TOW Chandlerís shirt. They we go to the scene we left off on, Chandler and Monica sleeping in Monicaís bed. Monicaís eyes open.]

Monica: Chandler?

Chandler: *yawn* Good Morning.

Monica: Good Morning. Thinking: Wait a second...this must be a dream. A very good dream.

Chandler: [thinking to himself] This must be a dream. But usually when I dream about this she doesnít say itís a dream. Hmm...

Monica: [She kisses him] Wait a second, [she starts to panic] when I dream I donít usually recognize I am dreaming...oh my. It couldnítís must be a dream...maybe all those lessons from Phoebe about controlling my dreams are paying off.

Chandler: What, what about you not recognizing somethingís a dream?

Monica: Nothing...pinch me

Chandler: What?

Monica: please.

Chandler: Ok...[he pinches her]

Monica: Ow! [pinches him back] Wait...that means...

Chandler: That hurt, but that could only mean....

Chandler & Monica: [Together] IíM NOT DREAMING!


[We see Joey and Rachel in the guyís apartment]

Rachel: I wish Monica would get up so she could clean up in there...

Joey: Yeah, Ďcause Iím sure as hell not going too

Rachel: Me either, but sheís going to make us I know it, Monica always wakes up around now if she has had a lot to drink the night before.

Joey: Whereís Chandler? Heís going to try to duck out of clean up duty! What a jerk.

Rachel: Joey, the party was for him...

Joey: Oh yeah! Well Iím going to wake him! He can watch us clean, then Monica will get mad at him for just watching and make him help. Heís not getting out of this one! Chandler!! Wake up!!! Chandler?

Rachel: Letís open the door a crack and make sure heís not in a coma or something.

Joey: Right. [They peek into Chandlerís room, they see he is not there.]

Joey: Where is he?

Rachel: I bet he left early just to avoid cleaning up! What a jerk!

Joey: Yeah!

Rachel: Wait a second...Iím thinking...

Joey: What?

Rachel: You know how we were giving Chandler and Monica a hard time about the shirt and all...

Joey: Uh huh.

Rachel: Well, they were the last oneís there, we all went to bed...if they were drunk I wonder if they...

Joey: No Way

Rachel: Nah!

Joey: Hey, letís go get a cup of coffee, if Chandler skipped out then we better too.

[They leave]

[We see Joey and Rachel in the Central Perk. Phoebe enters.]

Phoebe: Guys!

Rachel: Hey Pheebs

Phoebe: Guess what?

Rachel: What?

Phoebe: Well, ok, so you know how once in a while the ice cream place has tose contests about, like finding another flavor...

Joey&Rachel: Uh huh

Phoebe: Well one of those started today and I am going to Win!

Rachel: Pheebs, those contests are very hard. You have to be a chef to win, or a cute little kid...

Phoebe: Well, yeah, but I have the next best thing...

Rachel: Dare I ask

Phoebe: Ross!

Joey: Phoebe, the closest Ross has been to cooking is being related to Monica.

Phoebe: But, no thatís not see the trick to these contests is to come up with a flavor by experimenting. So I figure anyone can do that...

Rachel: Yeah...well Ross doesnít quite make the anyone category.

[Ross enters]

Ross: Phoebe, I just bought 20 boxes of Ice Cream cones! This is going to be so fun!

[Rachel looks at Phoebe]

Phoebe: Yeah, ok, you can say, "I told you so now." Come on Ross, letís go and start...

Ross: This is so cool! I love Ice Cream! I always wanted to enter this when I was a kid!

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, ok....not to loud though.

[We fade out, and fade into Monicaís room. Monica and Chandler are now on opposite sides of the bed staring at each other.]

Monica: I donít know how this could have happened!

Chandler: Happy Birthday to me!

Monica: Chandler, this is serious.

Chandler: Sorry, well, ok so it happened, itís not that bad is it?

Monica: Well no, but I mean, this is sort of sudden, we havenít even been on a date...and oh my...

Chandler: Monica, no one else knowís and no one else is gonna know or find out so as long as this is a secret itís ok right?

Monica: I guess...but what do we do now?

Chandler: [He kisses her]

Monica: That works.

Chandler: So I mean, what do you think, should we give us a chance?

Monica: What do you think?

Chandler: I believe I asked you first this time...

Monica: Oh...uh...well I donít know.

Chandler: You donít? Oh.

Monica: I mean, I donít know if it would work...

Chandler: It might.

Monica: Our friendship would never be the same.

Chandler: It would be better.

Monica: And...its you...

Chandler: Is that bad?

Monica: No, I like you, yes, ok we can give it a chance, I think it would be good, Ďcause I kinda like you

Chandler: Really?

Monica: Yes, your cute.

Chandler: And your hot

Monica: [she laughs softly]

Chandler: What?

Monica: You didnít know what to say....

Chandler I did to

Monica: You said hot

Chandler: It came out wrong...

Monica: I think itís cute that you didnít know what to say to me...

Chandler: Really? Do you?. [She kisses him and we fade out]


[We fade into a scene with Joey and Rachel at Central Perk. Joey seeís a hot girl at a table.]

Joey: Wow! Look at her.

Rachel: Yeah Joe, she looks nice...go say hi

Joey: Iím gone [He walks over there, the girl is sipping coffee.]

Joey: How you doiní?

Girl: Excuse me?

Joey: I said How you doin??

Girl: Oh you think Iím going to fall for some cheap pick up line? Just because Iím Blond and a girl! Huh? You sexist PIG!!! [She throws coffee on his face. Joey looks upset and goes back to the couch where Rachel is sitting, watching the whole thing.]

Rachel: How did it go?

Joey: It didnít work! It didnít work!

Rachel: Joey youíre not going to get every girl with that...

Joey: But it always works! Always. Why didnít it work on her?

Rachel: Come on Joey, so it didnít work on one girl, so what, it usually work right?

Joey: Usually? Usually? Iím not a usually guy! I always get the girl! Always.

Rachel: Maybe you should try some new material

Joey: Yeah! Thatís it, but what?

Rachel: I donít know? Ask Ros-no, oh ask Chand-No, uh...I guess you just have to think about it.

Joey: I never have to think about it! It always come naturally to me. Oh wait, I know. Iíll take a bath!

Rachel: Why? Because you are covered with coffee and are beginning to get sticky?

Joey: No, rubber ducky always helps me think. [He and Rachel leave, we see Phoebe and Ross in Rossís apartment]

Phoebe: Hey Ross, how about adding chocolate chips?

Ross: No! I mean no, how about some, fruit...yes frozen fruit!

Phoebe: Oh, I kinda had in mind something fruity yet chocolatey...

Ross: No! I mean I think that we shouldnít mix them, Pheebs can you get those chunks of fruit I cut up...

Phoebe: Ok Ross...if we are going to do this then you have to stop being so controlling! This is a team effort! Now I say we add tea to it, and then oh! Some chocolate!!!

Ross: Well, ok.

Phoebe: There. Letís put it in tupperware with the others, in the cooler. I thin we should go over to Monicaís and use her freezer. This freezer is packed. And, oh they can sample the flavors and tell us what they like!

Ross: Ok. [We fade out and fade in to a scene with Chandler and Monica on the couch. He is wearing his clothes which are wrinkled, and she is in a bathrobe]

Ross: *Knock* Monica open up! I got into the building but you have this door locked!

Phoebe: We canít get it, I know you want these free samples!!

Monica: Oh God itís Phoebe.

Chandler: And Ross!

Ross: Monica open up!

Monica: Hide hide!

Chandler: Where where???

Monica: My room, and close the door!

Ross: Monica!!

Monica: Uh...Just a minute Ross Iím getting out of the shower! [Monica runs into the bathroom and turn of the faucet, she throws her hair into it and get it wet. She get a towel and put it over her head.]

Monica: Coming! [She opens the door]

Ross: Oh, sorry Mon.

Monica: No itís fine, let me go put some clothes on.

Ross: Nice Bathrobe by the way..hey isnít that you good robe? The one you wear know...

Monica:, no I got a new good bathrobe, itís uh, silk, yeah silk...uh excuse me

Phoebe: Ok, Iíll get Joey and Chandler

Monica: NO!, uh Chandler went somewhere...

Phoebe: oh

Monica: Stop questening me! I donít know where!!! I donít keep track of where Chandler is!

Phoebe: Uh...ok

Monica: Ok Iím going to get dressed now

Ross: Oh hey before you do can I go in and get that cook book you said I could borrow, I need it.

Monica: Now???

Ross: Yes...Pheebs and I have another ingredient that we have to add and I forgot what the recipe said when I looked at the book when we were here...we have to add this before you guys taste our stuff.

Monica: OK Ross! You can go in my room!!! My ROOM! So go on in...nothingís in there....nope, not in my ROOM! [We see a shot of a panicked Chandler, he circles the room making faces. He tries under the bed but he canít fit. He runs into the closet just as Ross enters the room.

Ross: Monica itís not on your night table, is it in the closet?

Monica: Uh...[She enters the room] Uh..No! No it isnít...Iíll find it later.

Ross: Monica, you never loose stuff!

Monica: Uh...Iím really tired and I have a migrane! [Rachel and Joey enter]

Rachel: Whereís Chandler? Joey needs help with girls...

Phoebe: Chandler, help with girls...*laugh*

Ross: I can help...

Phoebe: Where is Chandler?

Ross: I can help...

Rachel: Well letís see then, two divorces, and Chandler, married a lesbian, and Chandler. Iíd go with Chandler.

Ross: Chandler couldnít give advice on relationships if his life depended on it! The only time he has committed to anything is when he was with Janice!!!

Monica: Ok guys, enough about Chandler. Come on! What did you guys all come her for anyway!!!

Ross: Samples

Phoebe: Uh...we ran out of freezer space for these samples for our contest, so weíre gonna just slowly put these samples in here...

Joey: Rachel forced me to come.

Rachel: I live here.

Monica: Ok, Iím getting dressed! Just go about you business please! [She goes into her room and slams the door. She opens the closet door and the light is on in there. Chandler hands her an outfit.

Chandler: I personally like this dress on you...

Monica: Thank you. You can come you know.

Chandler: That could be difficult, I am molded into the shape of this closet. [Monica pulls him out and they kiss]

Monica: I have to get this on and get out there, theyíre going to wonder what happened to me...

Chandler *kissing her* Let them wonder...

Monica: No I have to go...[We see everyone else out side her room. Rachel, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch and Ross is in the chair.]

Rachel: Hey, has anyone noticed something funny going on with Monica?

All: Yeah

Joey: Hey you donít thin she took us to seriously before, and actually did sleep with Chandler do you?

Phoebe, Rachel & Joey: Nah

Ross: What?

Rachel: We were just teasing them and all...nothing big...

Ross: Oh

[They all nervously look around]

Rachel: Whereís Chandler?

Phoebe: I was wondering that

Joey: Me too

Ross: Wait, do you guy notice something?

All: What?

Ross: This place is a mess, still!

Phoebe: Oh my God Monica didnít clean it!

Rachel: Uh...

[There is silence, and Monica bursts out of her room, perky.]

Monica: Ok Everyone, so Ross hereís your book....and sure you guys can help your selves to our freezer space, anything for my friends.

Phoebe: Oh, are you currently on medication?

Monica: Why would you say that?

Rachel: Are you ok?

Joey: Why is this place still a mess?

Phoebe: You seem perkey?

Ross: Whereís Chandler?

Monica: Yes, because Iím not doing all this myself, yes, and I donít know who are you the FBI?

Ross: Uh...Mon. Maybe we should come back later?

Monica: Ok.

Rachel: Joey and I are

Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Ross: [Very quickly as they are running for the door] Bye!

[We see all four of them in the hall]

Rachel: Talk about bad moods...Iím not even that bad when I get dumped!

Joey: Something really weird is going on...[we hear a click]

[Phoebe tries the door]

Phoebe: She locked it! Itís locked!

Rachel: What? No itís just stuck! [She tries it and it doesnít open]

Ross: Step aside you guys, let a real gladiator try it! [He, also is unsucessful ]

Joey: Why did she lock the door?

Rachel: Maybe she has a guy in there!

Ross: Ew...I donít want to think about some guy and my sister!

Phoebe: Well we have to get in and find out! Our samples are in there! You guys canít try them now!!

Rachel: Oh...too bad...

Joey: And I was looking forward to it...

Joey: Hey Phoebe, what;s up baby?!


Joey: Argh! It didnít work, the Joey dating system as we know it is gone, done for, over!!!

Phoebe: What? Oh no Joey. No, you canít give up now! There are tons of girls out there that you havenít even met...If you give up this now then who will the guy who has a lot of girls..huh? Who can take you place...Ross...Chandler? No, far from it!

Ross: ok letís not get to carried away with this!

Joey: Yeah! Pheebs is right! Iím the stud!

Phoebe: Say it again, say, "Iím the stud."

Joey: Iím the stud!!

Phoebe: I can be successful with girls!!

Joey: I can be successful with girls!!

Phoebe: I LOVE girls, I am obsessed!

Joey: I LOVE girls, I am obsessed!

Phoebe: [to other customers] Ok..uh you know Iím not actually gay right? Ok... I can commit!

Joey: Whoa there, Iím not Chandler, you can stop right there!

Phoebe: K.

[We see Chandler and Monica]

Monica: The door is locked!

Chandler: *kiss*

Monica: I so wanted to get rid of them!

Chandler: Oh yes! I have never looked forward to seeing you more!!

Monica: Yeah! [They start to kiss, Chandler sits on the couch and Monica still kissing him beside him. She starts to unbutton his shirt and he tries to unbutton hers.]

Chandler: I HATE buttons!

Monica: Just Kiss me!

Chandler: ok [they continue to kiss]

[We fade out]

[We fade into Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, everyone else is already there]

Monica: Hi

Chandler: Hi kids

Rachel: So...where were you guys last night?

I came back to the apartment and you two were gone...

Joey: Hehe

Chandler: We went to a bar, and both met dates...

Monica: [quickly] and slept with them...[she realizes that this was not the best thing to say]


Rachel: Well Pheebs, do ya want to go?

Phoebe: Uh no Iím fine!

Rachel: Do you want to get details from Monica?

Phoebe: Oh yes I want to do that uh huh!

[Chandler shoots Monica a worried glance. She looks at him reassuringly.]

[The girls leave. We see the girl in the girls appartment]

Rachel: So who was he?

Phoebe: And how was he?

Monica: He is the cutest most amazing guy!

Rachel & Phoebe: Woo hoo!

Monica: Itís like, I dunno

Rachel: On a scale, like Richard being a 9, how was this guy?

Monica: Into the 12's.

Phoebe: Wow! So I guess you guys hit it off huh?

Monica: [dreamily] Yeah

Rachel: Whatís his name?

Phoebe: And where does he live?

Monica: Oh, uh...I think Iíll wait to bring him public until I see works out...yeah!

Rachel: Ooooh! A secret boyfriend.

Monica: yeah, kinda

[We fade out and into the Central Perk where the guys are sitting]

Joey: So how was she?

Ross: And who was she?

Chandler: Very good, and I donít know too much about her.

Joey: Niiice!

Ross; So on a scale, Janice or Rachelís Boss being a 7 or so, what was the mystery girl

Chandler: Iíd say into the 12's

Ross: Wow! I have to hand it to you man! So introduce me to her!

Chandler: Uh...that would be a lot weirder then you think.

Joey: Does she have a friend?

Chandler: Well...

[we fade out and into the boys apartment, Chandler is there, Joey enters]

Joey: Hey!

Chandler: Sssh! Sheís asleep in my room.

Joey: The mystery girl? Oh OH can I see!

Chandler: No. I have to run to Rachelís to get my wine, so I trust you...DON"T LOOK!

Joey: You can trust me...

[Chandler leave, Joey runs to Chandlerís closed door. He gets there and contemplates for a minute.]

Joey: Heíll never know...I mean I can lie to him...heíll never find out...I can keep a secret.

[Joey opens the door and seeís Monica on the bed. He makes on of those classic Joey faces]


[This wakes up Monica]

Monica: Joey!!! I was...uh....

[Chandler runs in.]

Chandler: JOEY!!! You promised!!!

Joey: Never trust me!!! You should know by now!

Chandler: Man...

Joey: Youíre sleeping with Monica??? Oh My God! Whatís the mystery girl gonna say?

Monica: Joey, I am the mystery girl!

Joey: OH MY GOD!

Chandler: You have to never to tell anyone until we tell them? If Ross found out it would be the end...and I really like Monica...a lot! [He sits down on the side of the bed. He leans down and kisses her cheek]

Monica: I really like him too...can you help us Joey?

Joey: Uh...uh...Yes of course! [Audience claps] You two look so darn cute!

[Monica and Chandler smile. They kiss, Joey slips out.]



[We see Phoebe and Ross in at the top of a line. They have a long line behind them, the people at the counter are tasting their ice cream flavor.]

Phoebe: So?

Ross: So?

Judge 1 : Itís interesting.

Phoebe: Interesting good, or interesting bad?

Judge 2: Iím leaning towards good, so what do you call it?

Phoebe: Oh! We call in Lime-Chocolate-Tuna-Fruit!

[The judges run for the trash and spit it out.]

Judge 1: Donít call us, weíll call you!

Phoebe: Ok!

Ross: Pheebs, that means we didnít get it!

Phoebe: Oh no, [she walks back up to the table, and pushes the next person out of the way.] Ok Mr. Judge, I donít think you realize how much trouble we went through. All those dishes all these people had to do...that wastes water BIG time! All the containers...all the electricity we used to power all the freezer space! All the arguments!

Judge 2: Arguments build Character lady! And I suggest you get lost.

Ross: Uh oh.

[Phoebe takes the big bowl of their melted ice cream and dumps it over the judgeís head. The audience claps]

Phoebe: Now did you get a better taste?