By: Sarah-Jean and Neesha
[Setting: Central Perk. Everyoneís there.]
MNCA: My sink is busted, my engagement ring gone.
CHAN: Fifteen hundred dollars down the drain - literally.
ROSS: Donít worry about it
guys. Iím sure youíll find something else to
MNCA: And Mr. Teegerís on vacation. Iíll have to call a plumber.
PHOE: I know a good one - a client of mine. Iíll give you his number.
JOEY: Oh, why donít you let
Chandler and I do the job? Weíre reallygood at
manly stuff like that. [The rests of the gang doubles over inlaughter.]
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.
There is a knock at the door, Mncagoes to
answer it. A plumber (PLUM) comes in. He starts flirting with Mnca.]
PLUM: Whoa-ho-ho! Am I glad
I took this job instead of Charley. [The
plumber puts his arm around Mnca and drops his tool kit. Mnca looksscared.
She pulls away. As he is all greasy, Mncaís outfit is ruined.]
MNCA: Uh, the problem is right this way, Sir. [She leads him to thekitchensink.]
PLUM: Oh, come on, sweetheart!
You know you donít care about the sink.[He
pulls Mnca toward him. Mnca shrugs him off.]
MNCA: Might I remind you that youíre here to retrieve my *engagement*ring?
PLUM: Ooh, how did it end
up in the sink? Loverís tiff? [At that moment
Rach comes out of her bedroom with her bathrobe on.] Ooh, itís agoldmine
here! [Plumber comes toward her. When he gets to her, Rach slaps him,
knowing heís probably being a pain.] Thatís okay! Thatís okay! I like
[Joey and Chan come in. The
plumber doesnít notice them. Mnca mouths
something to them and points at the plumber. All three of them tiptoeup
behind him. Mnca mouths "one, two, three," then they attack. Once heíson
the ground, Joey takes him by his head, Chan by his legs, and theycarry
him to the door. Mnca opens the door wide, gesturing in that polite
butler-way to leave. Rach picks up his tool kit, and after Joey andChan
throw the plumber out, she throws the tool kit after him. They all clap
their hands, as if a dirty job has just been done. Chan sticks his headout
CHAN: And donít come back!
(to Mnca as she closes the door.) By the
way,mon, did he get the ring out? [Mnca rolls her eyes and shakes her head,
throwing her arms up.]
[Setting: Outside on a street
corner. Phoe is walking along and noticesthe
lady (from TOW the thumb) sitting in her usual clothes, in her usualspot.]
PHOE: Hey! Howís it going? I havenít seen you in a long time where haveyoubeen?
LADY: Iím great! Iíve been recovering from my surgery.
PHOE: What surgery? What happened?
LADY: Oh, I just had some plastic surgery done on my nose.
PHOE: You what!
LADY: I had some surgery . . .
PHOE: Oh, I heard you the first time. Is that what you spent that moneyon?
LADY: Yeah. Why do you ask?
PHOE: That money was supposed
to help you get off the street and starta
new life for yourself!
LADY: Well you never told
me that! Iíve always wanted a nose job and I
could finally afford one! You are such a weird girl. Why do you carewhat I
do? Besides, look at my nose, isnít it wonderful? [Phoe ignores the
question and looks at the nose with disgust.]
PHOE: It would not cost you
7000 dollars for a nose job. Whereís therest
of the money.
LADY: I bought this. [She
pulls out a white Siberian tiger coat. Phoe
gasps, then looks sick and runs away.][Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.]
CHAN: Trust me, Mon. My expertise
in plumbing goes way back! And withthe
help of my good friend and trusty sidekick, Joey, weíll have that sink
unclogged in no time!
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.
Chan and Joey have their heads in the
cabinet under the sink. Water comes splurting out and wonít stop. Mncaruns
over, yelling, and covers the water with her hands.]
MNCA: *Chand-ler!* My sink!!! Thatís what I get for trusting *you!*
[RACH grabs the drain plug
and shoves it in. The water stops. Chan andJoey
come out from underneath the sink.]
JOEY: You have to admit, we sure did a good job of unplugging it!
[Setting: Split screen, Mnca
is on her phone, Mr. Teeget is on his cell
phone in the Bahamas.]
MNCA: Iím telling you, the
sink is totally screwed! Busted! Thereíswater
splurting out of the drain, and my engagement ring is stuck in thepipes!
TEEG: Iím on vacation. Thereís
nothing I can do to help you. Fix it
yourself. Youíre pretty resourceful. Pick up the phone book - call aplumber!
MNCA: I did! He made a pass at me, then at Rachel!
TEEG: Well Iím not coming
home. Go get some tools. Iíll walk youthrough
the steps over the phone.
[Mnca slams the phone down
on the counter, grumbling to herself. Shestomps
out the door.]
[Setting: at the door of Chan/Joeyís apartment. Mnca is banging on thedoor.]
MNCA: Come on, Chandler!
Let me in! I need some tools and this call is
costing me a fortune!JOEY (V.O.): Chandlerís not here. Go away!
MNCA: Well *what* is wrong
with *you?* Give me some screwdrivers,hammers .
. . whatever you have!
[After a second Joey appears
at the door with a girl on his arm. Hehands
Mnca a wrench.]
JOEY: This is all I could
find. Use it in good health. [Joey slams thedoor
in Mncaís face.]
[Setting: Back in Mnca/Rachís
apartment. Mnca picks up the phone,wrench in
hand. Split screen on, showing Teeg on one side.]
MNCA: Can I fix it with just a wrench?
TEEG: I *suppose* so. Weíll
try it. Now go to your sink. Iíll try to
picture the problem in my mind. [Split screen off, back to Mnca. Youcanít
hear Teegís voice anymore. Mnca climbs into the sink and starts bangingon
MNCA: Yup, thatís done. Now
what? [She climbs down from the counter and
sticks her head under the sink.] I do *what?* Okay, I guess. [Mnca
disappears completely from view, under the counter. A squeaking noisecomes
from the counter, then stops.] Now what do I do? [Chan walks in.] Ohhh,I
donít want to do that. [Chan canít tell where the voice is coming from.He
pokes his head into Mncaís room, the goes inside to look for her.] No!
Thatís too hard! [Chan comes out of the room, eyes wide.]
CHAN: Monica? Are you here? [She doesnít hear.]
MNCA: Oh, thank God. You
fixed it. ĎBye! [Mnca comes out, banging herhead
on the way out.] Oh, shoot! [Chan runs over to her.]
CHAN: What were you *doing* under there?
MNCA: For Godís sake, Chandler,
fixing the drain. What did you *think*I
was doing? [Chan raises his eyebrows but doesnít reply.] Anyway, I gotthe
ring out. [Sh holds it out. Chan reaches for it, but Mnca snaps herhand
back.] Uh-uh-uh! Itís mine, now! After all, Iím the one that rescuedit,
and after all the trouble you caused me . . . Oh, by the way, donít gointo
your apartment right now. Joeyís on one of his hot, infamous dates.
CHAN: Sounds scary.
MNCA: Not as scary as your cooking. [Chanís face lights up as he getsanidea.]
CHAN: Um, Mon! I just dropped
by to see if youíd like to join me fordinner
tonight at Chez Chandler.MNCA: Oh, great. Yeah, all right.
[Setting: Joe/Chanís apartment,
Chan is trying to cook dinner. Heís
whistling. Thereís something cooking on the stove, in a pot and a pan.
Suddenly whateverís in the pot overflows and Chan picks it up, droppingit
in the sink. (Itís too hot to hold.) He runs his burnt hands under cold
water for a long time. While he does that, whateverís in the pan starts
smoking and sets off the smoke detector. Rach and Mnca come rushing infrom
MNCA: Whatís going on? [Chan rushes over and shoves her out the door.]
CHAN: Itís a surprise.
MNCA: It sure is surprising
that youíre trying to set your apartment on
fire. What would Joey think?
CHAN: He doesnít care. He already set it on fire from that infamousdate.
[He closes the door.]RACH: Do you need any help, Chandler?
[CHAN looks at her gratefully.]CHAN: That would be great.
RACH: Looks like your food
is ruined. Iím not a great cook, but I knowhow
to make macaroni and cheese. Here, you turn off the smoke detector.Iíll
throw out this . . . what is it, anyway?
CHAN: Um, green pepper and garlic casserole with onion sauce.
RACH: Blech! Monicaís lucky
it burned! [She starts wiping off thecounter,
then looks at her watch.] Ooops! Um, I need to start getting ready formy
date. Can you manage alone?
CHAN: I guess so. Thank,
Rachel. Good luck with Ross. [She leaves. Chan
goes to the phone and dials.] Iíd like to order a giant pizza with
everything on it.
[Setting: Outside on the street corner. Phoe is passing by the lady.]
PHOE: I see youíre enjoying your new nose.
LADY: I am, in fact, weird girl.
PHOE: Whereís your fur coat?
LADY: I returned it. I decided
I needed the money for other things. Itried
returning my nose too, but they wouldnít take it.
PHOE: You returned it? Oh, thank you. Do you know what this means tome?
LADY: I donít know why I did it. I always wanted a fur coat.
PHOE: Well, bye.
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.
Rach and Mnca are there, both getting
ready for their dates.]MNCA: So Rach, whereís Ross taking you?
RACH: Oh, I donít know. Just
out to dinner. He said he didnít want togo
anywhere else. I think heís afraid heíll tire me out.
MNCA: Well he should be.
You shouldnít even be going *out* to dinner. I
would have made you guys dinner.
RACH: Mon, youíre going on
a date with Chandler. (Or more like a datewith
a stomach pump. Youíll need one.) Iím sorry, but I donít want our first
date being a double date. Plus, Ross is your brother.
MNCA: Okay, youíve got a
point . . . Iíll be phoning around nine tomake
sure youíre home.
RACH: Monnnn! Iíll take care
of myself. I promise. . . so what timewill
you be home?MNCA: Weíll probably come here around midnight. Weíve both got work
tomorrow. [slyly] Should we expect Ross to be here?
RACH: If he decides to spend
the night on the couch. Weíre taking itslow,
Mon. Besides, Iíll be pretty tired by nine.
[Setting: Chan/Joeyís apartment.
Thereís a knock at the door. Chan letsMn
ca in. He notices that sheís wearing the ring. Joey is just leaving.]
JOEY: Hi, Mon. I see you got your stone out of the sink.MNCA: No thanks to you.
CHAN: Let me see it for a
sec. [he takes it off her finger, then slipsit
into his pocket.]
MNCA: Hey! [She sticks her
hand in his pocket and takes the ring back.Chan
grabs it back. Mnca and Chan have a tug of war over the ring.]
JOEY: Hey! Hey! Stop it!
[Mnca and Chan pause momentarily.
Joey reaches out and grabs the ring,then
runs out of the apartment.]MNCA: Joey!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHAN: Just forget about it. Now neither of us has it.
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.
Ross and Rach walk through the door.Rach
looks very tired.]
ROSS: You look exhausted,
Rach! You better get some rest. Monica willkill
me if she sees you like this.
RACH: Iím . . . not . . . very . . . tired!
ROSS: Come on, Rach. Here
[He sits her down on the couch.] Iíll get you
something to drink and then you better go to bed. [Ross gets up andgets a
glass of water. Bringing it to Rach, he sits down beside her. Rachdrinks a
couple sips then sets it down on the table. She turns and rests herhead on
Rossís chest. Gently, Ross strokes her hair. After a few moments Rossstops.]
ROSS: Rachel . . . [ looks
down to see Rach asleep. Smiling to himselfRoss
leans back and closes his eyes too.]
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartment.
Ross and Rach are asleep on the couch.The
door opens and Mnca and Chan walk in. Not realising two people aresleeping
theyíre kind of loud.]
MNCA: That was the perfect
evening, Chandler. Thank you! Not even one
little argument! Thanks to Joey.
CHAN: I know the perfect
way to finish it off. [Just then Ross stirs.Chan
and Mnca finally see the two sleeping.]ROSS: Ohh! . . Hey guys, youíre back.
MNCA: How come youíre still here and why isnít Rachel in bed?
ROSS: Calm down, Mon. Rachel
was tired so we left early. When we gotback
we sat down as she had a drink. The next thing I knew, she was asleepand I
couldnít move without waking her.
[While theyíre talking Rach also starts to stir.]
RACH: Oh, hi guys. Sorry, Ross, I must have fallen asleep.
ROSS: Thatís okay.
MNCA: Come on, Rach, you
need to got o bed. Youíre never going to fully
recover unless you get some sleep and stop tiring yourself out. [Mnca
glares at Ross, then she heads over to the couch. She helps Rach to her
feet. Rach is too weak and tired and falls back down. Rosss then picksRach
up and carries her into her room. Mnca and Chan follow behind. Mncalooks
[Setting: Rachís bedroom.
Ross carries her in with Chan and Mnca
RACH: You donít need to carry me, Ross.
MNCA: Rach, you canít walk. How else would you get in here?
[Ross sets Rach down on the bed.]
MNCA: Okay guys, out, out!
[Ross and Chan leave. Fades out as Mncastarts
to help Rach into her p.j.ís]
[Setting: Mnca/Rachís apartmnent.
Mnca is making breakfast, Chan andRoss
are sitting at the table. Rachís bedroom door opens and Rach walksout.]
RACH: Hey guys!CHAN: Well you certainly look better this morning.
MNCA: How are you feeling?
[Ross jumps up and pulls out a chair for Rachel. Rach sits downgratefully.]
RACH: Oh, I feel so much better this morning.ROSS: So, what are you doing today?
RACH: I donít know. Iím not
allowed to go back to work for anotherweek. I
think I might just hang out here for the day and watch a movie.
ROSS: I have the day off, Iíll join you.
RACH: [slyly] So, Mon, how
was your "surprise" last night? [Mnca starts
laughing and Chan puts his head on the table in embarrassment.]
MNCA: It - it was good.
CHAN: You actuall thout so?
MNCA: Okay, it was more the idea . . . it was sweet.
ROSS: What did you guys do?
MNCA: Well . . .CHAN: I wanted to surprise Mon so . . .
RACH: (laughing) He tried
to cook her dinner. [Ross starts laughing,Mnca
MNCA: He burnt the dinner,
set off the smoke alarm. So in the end he
sentout for pizza.[ROSS punches Chan in the shoulder playfully.]
ROSS: Way to go man!
CHAN: Shut up! At least I tried.
RACH: It took you guys over five hours to order pizza?
MNCA: No, we went and saw a late movie as well.
RACH: So the evening wasnít a total waste?
MNCA: Of course not. I was with Chandler!
[Setting: Central Perk. Everyoneís
there. Joey, surprise, surprise, is
looking at a newspaper.]
JOEY: Hey guys, Iíve got the best idea.
JOEY: Star Wars Episode 1
is coming out in three days. Supposedlypeople
have been camping out for tickets.
CHAN: So whatís your idea?
JOEY: I say we camp out,
too. We can take shifts, Chandler and Monica,Ross
and Rachel, me and Pheebs. Itíd be so much fun! [Shows everyoneís face.
They like the idea.]