By: Sarah-Jean and Neesha
[Split screen, Ross at his apartment and Monica in hers. They are talking on the phone]
ROSS: So Monica what did you want to ask me?
MNCA: Umm… can you meet me at my apartment. I don't want to discuss it on the phone.
ROSS: Sure. See you in ten!
[Setting Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel are there]
PHOE: So Rach, how's your new job coming?
RACH: Oh, it's the absolute best. All I need now is a boyfriend and my life will be great.
CHAN: Sorry I'm taken but I know Ross is free!
RACH: I can't get back together now. That's too weird, besides you guys, it's ROSS!
[Phoebe gets a look of understanding, Chandler's still dense]
CHAN: Yeah, so!
PHOE: Yeah, besides if he wanted to get back together he would have said something.
[Joey walks in]
JOEY: Hey guys, what's up?
CHAN: (sarcastic) Oh, just a normal day trying to find a boyfriend for Rachel. You free?
RACH: Stop it guys. When I find someone it's going to be someone I love and who loves me. Someone like…
PHOE: (finishing for Rachel) Like Ross.
[Monica's and Rachel's apartment Ross and Monica are there the rest is somewhere else]
ROSS: You dragged me from my dinosaur bones and cavemen for what?
MNCA: Ross… I need your help. I was wondering… has Chandler ever mentioned me to you?
[Ross's interest is perked]
ROSS: Mentioned you… in accordance to anything in particular?
MNCA: Umm… in accordance to… (quietly) marriage?
[Ross hears anyway]
ROSS: Marriage? Marriage? So you guys are really serious? Marriage, marriage, marriage… ? [Ross looks really sad and gets slower as he says the last three marriages and Monica looks at him with concern, but questioningly. Phoebe bursts in]
PHOB: News alert! News alert! (Sees Ross) Ohhhh!. [Phoebe tiptoes over to Monica and whispers something in her ear. A big, sly smile spreads over Monica's face. Phoebe looks at her watch] Whoops! Gotta go! [Exit Phoebe]
[Ross looks confused for a second but brushes it away]
ROSS: Women! Anyway, Mon, what's up? Are you thinking of asking Chandler to marry you?
[Monica mumbles something]
ROSS: I knew it! Wow, I'm so happy for you guys!
[Monica smiles slyly]
MNCA: Sorry bro, but I'm thinking of dropping the idea now.
[Ross looks horrified]
ROSS: What? You can't do that!
MNCA: Yes I can and I will… Unless of course…
[Ross drops to his knees & crawls toward her, begging]
ROSS: Unless what? Anything! I'll do anything!
MNCA: Unless… you propose to Rachel, then I will.
[Silence as it fades to black]
[Chandler/Joey's apartment, Joey is going through
the mail on the table. A
huge box is on the bottom. Chandler walks in]
CHAN: Whoa, it looks like today is a great
day for mail. [Slides box out from
under other mail letting it fly everywhere]
JOEY: Watch it man!
CHAN: It sure is heavy.
JOEY: What is it?
CHAN: I don't know what it is, but I know who it's for!
JOEY: Who's it for?
[Phoebe comes in]
PHOE: Hi, just dropped by to see if my package has arrived!
JOEY: Why are we getting your mail?
PHOE: Well, I couldn't remember my address when I was filling out the form.
CHAN: Why didn't you give them Rachel and Monica's address?
PHOE: They already get my magazines for me.
JOEY: Well… [Looks expectantly at Phoebe]
CHAN: Joey's wondering.. What's in there?
PHOE: Oh, you know those sale people always
coming around? [Joey and
Chandler nod] Well I always wanted to be one of those people and now I am.
[Setting, Monica and Rachel's. Still only Ross and Monica]
ROSS: What?! Are you crazy? Rachel doesn't
like me any more then a
MNCA: That's not true! Phoebe just said that Rachel is looking for a boyfriend.
ROSS: That doesn't mean she's still in love with me!
MNCA: But she is. She was telling Phoebe and Chandler that she was looking for someone she loves and who loves her. Someone like you.
ROSS: Yeah, but did she say someone like me?
MNCA: Actually yes. Thought I can't understand why!
[Ross throws a pillow at her]
ROSS: Don't you think it would be weird if an ex-boyfriend asks you to marry him.
MNCA: Well yeah of course, [Ross smiles with satisfaction] But, you see, the relationship you have and have had with Rachel is different. I've never had a relationship like that. If I had, I wouldn't think it was weird if a ex-boyfriend asked me to marry him. Oh, by the way you need to propose tonight.
ROSS: That's so not true. Your just saying all this because you want me to propose to Rachel. Admit it. You want to see if I'll do it and how Rachel would react!
MNCA: Okay, that would be a bonus, but I mean everything I said. Here, lets go find Phoebe. She'll tell you!
[Ross and Monica exit]
[Setting Joey and Chandler's apartment, Chandler and Phoebe are there. Ross and Monica enter]
CHAN: Hey guys, why do you look so serious? [Goes over and gives Monica a kiss]
PHOE: (accusingly) Did you tell him what I said?
MNCA: I had to. You have to back me up here Pheebs. He doesn't believe me.
CHAN: What did you tell Monica?
ROSS: Is it true?
PHOE: Fine I'll tell you. Calm down… Okay… I told Monica that Rachel is still in love with Ross. And Monica told Ross.
CHAN: When did Rachel say she's still in love with Ross?
PHOE: Remember about twenty minutes ago when
we were down in Central
Perk and Rachel was saying she wants a boyfriend. She said someone like and
I finished it by say someone like Ross. Remember also, you commented that
Ross was free and she said that they can't get back together now. It's to weird besides you guys it's Ross.
CHAN: Ooh, yeah!
ROSS: Then it's true!
MNCA: Thanks Pheebs and Chandler. We've got to go. Oh, and by the way, honey I'll see you tonight okay?
CHAN: Yep, bye!
PHOE and ROSS: Bye!
[Setting Monica and Rachel's, and it's still only Ross and Monica]
MNCA: See Ross I told you!
ROSS: I don't know Mon. It's Rachel. I can't go through another breakup with her. I can't!
MNCA: Why would you guys be breaking up?
ROSS: Well every marriage I've had so far has ended in divorce. There's no way I could survive a divorce from her. I've already had to take depression medicine once. If we broke up, there's no way the group would still be able to be friends. Remember last time. The group got closed to breaking up.
MNCA: Yeah, but what about all those times that you asked me what I thought Rachel would do if you asked her? I always said yes! [Yes I know this isn't true, but it's possible]
ROSS: That's not true. What about the time I asked you a couple weeks after we broke up.
MNCA: That was different, it had only been a few weeks since you had slept with the photocopy girl. I still can't believe you did that.
ROSS: What about the letter she wrote, asking me to take all the blame?
MNCA: Oh, that reminds me, a couple months after writing the letter she asked me to tell you that she was sorry and that letter was really wrong. [I know this didn't happen in the episodes, but don't you think it should have J]
ROSS: *You didn't tell me that!* I don't know. Your asking me to propose to someone! It's a pretty big deal.
MNCA: Please, don't you want to see how Chandler will react when I ask him. He's afraid of commitment remember.
ROSS: Fine, but it's not my fault if this breaks up the group!
[Joey and Chandler's apartment, Joey and Chandler are there and a there's a knock at the door.]
JOEY: Your turn to get it.
CHAN: What do you mean my turn. You never get it.
[Chandler goes and answers the door, it's Phoebe]
PHOE: Hi, I'm selling these wonderfully cute toys. Would you like to buy some?… So, how did that time sound?
JOEY: Better, much better.
CHAN: Do we finally get to see the toys? I have my money right here.
PHOE: Oh, yes… My first customers! [Gets all excited and starts dancing around]
PHOE: Okay, okay… let's see what we have. Oh, look, a top in red and blue, green and yellow, orange and pink, black and white, silver and gold, orange and green, blue and yellow, red and purple…
JOEY: Oh, oh, I'll take the black and white one.
CHAN: Hey, I wanted that one!
[Chandler and Joey start to fight]
PHOE: Don't worry I have two of them.
[They continue looking at the toys which are all really pathetic and childish, but perfect for Chandler and Joey, the screen fades to black. The new setting is Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the sofa when Ross walks in]
ROSS: Hey Rach, I need to ask you something.
RACH: (looks up and sees Ross) Oh, hey Ross, didn't see you come in. So what's new with you?
ROSS: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. 100% nothing.
RACH: Come on, when someone acts that stupid, something's definitely going on.
ROSS: Okay, yes something is, but I can't tell you. [(pause) Ross takes Rachel's hand in his] Rach, do you ever wonder… um… have you ever thought… um…
ROSS: Do you ever think about me.
RACH: Yeah, sure all the time. Who doesn't think about their best friend.
ROSS: No, no. That's not what I mean. What I want to know… what I'm trying to say is… Do you ever think about us… as a couple… getting together again?
RACH: No, not particularly. I mean yeah, of course it crosses my mind. Who doesn't think about getting back to their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.
ROSS: No, I mean think seriously about it. You know, about actually getting together for real. [Rachel looks confused] What I'm trying to say is, would you marry me?
[Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Monica are there. Monica is making dinner]
CHAN: Mmm, that smells yummy!
[He steals some food from the pan and eats it]
MNCA: Good, glad you like it umm… Chandler, I think we need to talk about something.
[Chandler kisses Monica on the lips]
CHAN: We have enough communication in this relationship already, don't you think?
MNCA: Come on Chandler be serious for a minute. I was wondering…
[Joey staggers in yelling FOOD FOOD I FINALLY FOUND FOOD. Monica glares at Joey and points at the door]
MNCA: Go home puppy, there's food across the hall.
JOEY: [standing up] No there isn't.
[Monica raises her eyebrows and laughs with disbelief]
MNCA: Well go buy some, the grocery store still open.
JOEY: Uhh, that could be a problem. The puppy has no money.
MNCA: No money, where did it go?
JOEY: Uhh, I guess I bought a couple toys from Phoebe.
MNCA: How many is a couple?
CHAN: [Laughs covering mouth] Eight!
[Monica turns to Chandler]
MNCA: You knew about this?
[Joey raises his eyebrows and covers a smile]
JOEY: I wasn't the only one that bought some toys!
[Joey slinks out]
MNCA: How much crap did you buy from Phoebe?
CHAN: I don't know!
[Monica rolls eyes and turns back to cooking]
CHAN: By the way Mon, what were you wondering about before Joey so rudely interrupted us.
MNCA: Actually I'm still wondering it. Could you… I mean would you want to…
[Rachel bursts in followed by Ross]
RACH: I told you Ross, I can't deal with this now. I thought…
[Ross comes towards her and touches her cheek with the back of his hand]
ROSS: You thought what?
[Monica stomps towards them and glares at Ross]
MNCA: We thought you'd be elsewhere!
[She shoots them out the door and goes back
to her pan. The oven dings and
she takes something out]
MNCA: Finally some peace and quite.
[Phoebe bursts in with her box]
PHOE: Sorry if I'm interrupting something-
MNCA: Which you are!
PHOE: -but you weren't home before. So here
I am, okay let me warm up,
doe rah me fa so la tea doe, okay, okay, [she pats her hair] Okay, I'm ready. Hi I'm selling these wonderfully cute toys, would you like to buy some?
[Chandler runs over to Phoebe and drops to the floor]
CHAND: Oh yes Phoebe, my neon orange glow in the dark yo-yo doesn't glow in the dark. Can I have another one?
[Phoebe hands him one. Chandler looks at it and shakes his head and hands it back]
CHAN: Do you have it in red?
[Rachel bursts in again with Ross on her heels]
ROSS: I'm sorry Rachel I just…
RACH: I can't believe you asked me that when I just told you I wasn't ready for this. I mean we're not even dating!
[Joey comes in]
JOEY: I mean it guys I'm starving here. You'd let a little puppy starve to death?
[Everyone is talking, fighting etc.]
MNCA: Might as well get this over with! [screaming angrily] Chandler will you marry me?
JOEY: Am I the only confused one here?
[Setting Central Perk, Gunther is standing at the counter. Phoebe walks in with her box]
PHOE: Hi I'm selling these wonderfully cute toys, would you like to buy some?
GUNT: Did Rachel touch any of them?
PHOE: Yep, this one, and this one, oh don't forget that one. [Phoebe starts emptying the box on the counter]
GUNT: I'll take them all!