TOW The Names
Okay, here's part seventeen. This follows TOW Baby Fever. Rachel is two months pregnant, Monica is five months pregnant. As usual, I beg you to send me feedback firstname.lastname@example.org and as usual, I remind you that I do not own these charcters and I do not make money off of them. Here's the fic.
[SCENE: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Ross and Rachel are there.]
ROSS: I can't believe it! In four months I'm going to be an uncle, and then three months after that I'm going to be a Daddy again.
MNCA: I know! I'm going to be a mommy in four months and an aunt in seven months.
RACH: Ah, Geller triamph.
CHAN: Don't forget us Rach. I mean, it didn't just take Gellers to make those two little people!
[SCENE: R&Rís apartment. Everyone is there. Rachel is in the bathroom throwing up.]
MNCA: Howís Rach?
ROSS: Sick of having morning sickness
MNCA: Thatíll teach her to make fun of me!
CHAN: I didnít know she made fun of you.
MNCA: well, she didnít really, I just felt like saying that. You got a problem with that?
CHAN: [scared] No maíam
ROSS: is rach gonna be that scary in a few months time?
MNCA: Nah, sheís a wuss.
[Rachel comes out of the bathroom.]
RACH: I heard that!
RACH: Wow, you really are scary.
CHAN: She always has been, you only just noticed now?
RACH: Well, Iíve been kinda distracted lately, havenít I babe? [kisses Ross?]
CHAN: [to Monica] are you gonna kiss me too?
MNCA: Okay! [kisses Chandler.]
[SCENE: C&Mís apartment. Late at night. Joey, Chandler and Monica are there.]
CHAN: Joey, you know, you donít actually live here.
JOEY: I know, its just I get so lonely over at my place now youíve gone.
MNCA: Joey, you just live across the hall.
JOEY: Exactly! Thatís why I spend so much time here! Plus you guys make the best food and its so nice over here.
MNCA: Awww, okay, you can stay here.
CHAN: Or, even better idea, you can go to Phoebeís.
JOEY: I canít. Phoebe and I had a fight, remember?
CHAN: Oh yes, lets see, what was it about again? Was it about world politics? No, how about the stock market? Wrong again, it was about what your hypothetical child might turn out like!
JOEY: It was not! [pause] What does hypothetical mean?
MNCA: Joey, just go talk to her, okay?
JOEY: Youíre just trying to get rid of me!
MNCA: Uh huh! So what arre you waiting for? Get the hell outta here!
[Joey runs out the door without saying another word.]
CHAN: Wow, you really are scary!
[SCENE: Phoebeís apartment. She is there. There is a knock on the door. She answers it. Its Joey.]
JOEY: Listen, Phoebs, Iím sorry.
PHOE: For what?
JOEY: You know, for that fight we had the other day.
PHOE: What fight?
JOEY: you donít remember?
PHOE: no, I thought you were mad at me, and thatís why you hadnít come to see me for a few hours.
JOEY: No! I thought you were mad at me.
PHOE: Silly boy.
JOEY: So weíre friends again?
PHOE: Of course!
JOEY: You wanna hug it out?
PHOE: My teady bears back!
JOEY: Iím your teddy bear?
PHOE: No, see? [points to the window frame behing him. A teddy bear is there.]
JOEY: Hasnít he always been there?
PHOE: No, see he like to go off and have adventures.
JOEY: [not getting it] Okaaaay. [pause] Wanna hug again?
[they hug again.]
[SCENE: C&Mís apartment. Continued from before.]
CHAN: So you were eager to get Joey out of the way. [kisses her neck.]
MNCA: Uh huh, but not for that [brushes him away and gestures for him to sit down next to her. He does so.]
CHAN: Okay, so what?
MNCA: I just want to talk to you.
CHAN: Okay, so what do you want to talk about?
MNCA: Chandler, it just seems like it was only yesterday that I was telling you I was pregnant, and now in four months, our little baby girlís gonna be born.
CHAN: I know, its amazing, and I know its fast. But I may have to sound increadibly insenitive here and ask Whatís you point?
MNCA: I know you want this baby, and you know I do too. But, I donít know, its like nothingís changed. Our lives are exactly the same as they were before. Except now I resemble a whale.
CHAN: No you donít. [kisses her gently] Well, what would you like to change?
MNCA: [tearing up a little] I donít know, maybe we should be thinking about names, or, or, decorating the nursery, or something. I mean, even though I have this huge bump, I donít actually feel like Iím having a baby.
CHAN: You feel like your just a fat little girl back in High School again, huh?
MNCA: No! I feel like Iím pregnant, but it just hasnít sunk in that Iím going to have a little baby at the end of all this.
CHAN: Okay, trust me, when she wakes us up at two thirty in the morning demanding to be fed, itíll sink in.
CHAN: Okay, okay, we can talk about names. I like the name Moncia.
MNCA: Thatís sweet, but we canít name our baby after me.
CHAN: Why not?
MNCA: We just canít, how about Elizabeth?
CHAN: Nah, too old fashioned.
CHAN: No, I knew an Amy in high School.
MNCA: I thought you went to an all boys school?
CHAN: Oh sorry, did I forget to mention that Amy is really Amy, formally known as Andy.
MNCA: Well, why donít we ask the others for help?
[SCENE: Central Perk. Everyone is there. C&M have just asked for name ideas.]
RACH: Rachelís a nice name.
PHOE: I like Phoebe.
JOEY: How Ďbout Joey?
CHAN: Names that are not your own, and Joey, by the way, our babyís a girl, Joeyís a boys name.
JOEY: Havenít you ever seen Dawsonís Creek? The joey on thatís a girl.
ROSS: You watch Dawsonís Creek?
JOEY: Sure! That Joey chickís hot!
PHOE: Ooh! That would be so cool if you got together! Joey and Joey!
JOEY: Phoebs, she not called that in real life.
PHOE: So what is she called?
JOEY: I dunno, Josephine?
CHAN: Can we please get back to the original topic of converstaion?
ROSS: ooh, my dinasour show?
MNCA: No! Baby names.
RACH: Ooh! Karen.
MNCA: Not your name or middle name. Or your identical twins name.
PHOE: Eww! As if Iíd want you to name your baby after Ursula! In fact, I think if you guys did that, Iíd have to run away and never see you ever again forever and ever.
CHAN: [to Moncia, quietly] Remember that.
PHOE: Ooh! I have a name!
JOEY: Yeah, its Phoebe.
PHOE: I meant I have a name for the baby.
MNCA: [suspiciously] What?
CHAN: You are aware that Moncia will not be giving birth to a cat arenít you Phoebe?
PHOE: Of course. Why do you ask that?
ROSS: How about Chloe?
CHAN: Nah, no one would ever remember how to spell it?
MNCA: Too boring.
CHAN: We donít live in a fairy tale.
MNCA: I like that.
CHAN: Iím not convinced.
CHAN: Not bad.
MNCA: Canít have Laura. I knew a Laura at Junior High, she was a bitch.
RACH: Laura OíSullivan?
MNCA: Uh huh, thatís her.
RACH: She was my best friend.
[SCENE: C&Mís apartment. Later. C&M are there.]
CHAN: Remind me again why you thought our friends would be able to think up a name for this child.
MNCA: I donít know, I just thought it was worth a try.
[Joey bursts in]
JOEY: Mondler! [C&M look confused] Chanica! [theyíre still confused.] For the baby.
MNCA: thanks Joey.
CHAN: Weíll uh take them into consideration.
[Joey grins and leaves.]
MNCA: Okay, so what names do you like?
CHAN: Well, I like Abigail, I think that was Rachelís idea.
MNCA: Abigail. Abby. Thatís good.
CHAN: Or, uh, Meghan.
MNCA: I dunno. I mean, I had a great aunt Meg.
CHAN: okay, so Meghanís out. How about Kyra?
MNCA: Yeah, thatís okay.
CHAN: Still not convinced?
MNCA: Nope. I donít know. I mean, when I was a kid, I always used to plan what all my kids were gonna be called.
CHAN: [sarcastic] At the same time as planning the perfect white wedding, how did you cope?
MNCA: Shut up! But now that its for real, its kinda scary donít you think? I mean, whatever name we pick now, our child is gona be stuck with for the rest of her life.
CHAN: I know. Itís a big deal.
[Phoebe rushes in]
PHOE: [all in one breath, very fast] Allison, Bryony, Courteney, Debra, Erica, Felicity, Gabrielle, Hannah, Isabel, Jennifer, Kimberly, Lisa, Melanie, Nicola, Olivia, Penelope, Queenie, Rosalyn, Stacey, Tamara, Ulga, Vanessa, Wilma, Xylaphone, Yolanda, Zara.
PHOE: [out of breath] baby names.
CHAN: You want us to call our daughter Xylaphone?
PHOE: Hey, you try thinking of a girls name that begins with X, its hard, okay!
CHAN: Phoebs, weíve listened to your ideas and we promise to think about all of them.
MNCA: Except Xylaphone.
CHAN: Uh huh, but we need to discuss this on our own.
PHOE: You donít me around.
PHOE: Fine. Goodbye!
CHAN: Wow! All I can say is wow!
MNCA: I know what you mean.
CHAN: I think if we are going to get any peace at all, we need to decide on a name. I already told you what names I like, why donít you tell me what names you like?
MNCA: Okay, uh, Shannon?
CHAN: I like that.
CHAN: Yeah, Ashleigh Bing. It has a nice charm to it doesnít it?
MNCA: Yay! We decided!
CHAN: Well, we still need a middle name.
CHAN: Great, or, we could just call her Ashleigh Moncia Bing and have done with it.
MNCA: I think I prefer Ashleigh Kyra Bing.
MNCA: I love you.
CHAN: I love you too. And little Ashleigh too of course.
MNCA: Me too.
[SCENE: Central Perk. The next day. Ross, Rachel, Phoebe and Joey are all there. C&M enter.]
ROSS: Hey, so did you decide?
JOEY: Yeah, what are you gonna call her?
PHOE: I still like Xylaphone.
RACH: Tell us!
CHAN: Can my pregnant finacee sit down first, or is that asking to much?
OTHERS: Sorry etc. [move over to let C&M sit down.]
RACH: So what are you gonna call her?
CHAN: Well, we lsitened to all your suggestions, then we came up with some of our own. Honey, do you want to tell them what name we finally chose?
MNCA: Thanks sweetie [pecks him on the cheek.] Weíre calling her Ashleigh Kyra Bing.
PHOE: Not Xylaphone?
CHAN: Sorry Phoebs.
ROSS: Not Geller-Bing, or even Bing-Geller?
MNCA: no. I mean, whats the point? It wonít be long before Iím Monica Bing, so whatíll be the point of giving a poor little baby a name with a hypon unneccessarily?
RACH: I suppose, so because then, say Phoebe and Joey had a baby and it was a boy and they called it, I donít know, Joey Chandler Ross Tribiani-Buffay, and he married Ashleigh Kyra Bing-Geller, and she hyponed her name and his sheíd end up being Ashleigh Kyra Bing-Geller-Tribiani-Buffay, and thatís just cruel.
What do you think? Do you like the name they picked? Ashleigh Kyra Bing? If I decide to do another series, where Rachelís baby would be born, Iíll need suggesstions for names, so think up some ideas for me. Thanks, LOL, Ezika.