TOW All The Yippees!
Okay, hereís part fifteen. Hope you enjoys it, and please e-mail me if you do, or even if you donít. My email address firstname.lastname@example.org Thanks. I donít own these charcters etc. etc. etc. You know the drill. By the way, some time has passed since my last fanfic, about two months to be exact, so Monica is now four months pregnant. The other characters are all pretty much the same.
[SCENE: C&mís apartment. It is early in the morning. Chandler is making coffee. Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
CHAN: Still having morning sickness?
MNCA: Actually, no. Oh sorry, am I only allowed to use the bathroom when I have morning sickness?
CHAN: Well I donít know about morning sickness, but you sure have morning crabiness!
MNCA: [sarcastic] Haha.
CHAN: Seriously Mon, whats up? Why are you so [flings his hands around in the air. Monica stares at him, not amused. He stops.] Sorry.
MNCA: God, if you werenít so cute, Iíd probably have to kill you.
CHAN: Is God cute? What about me?
MNCA: Luckily for you, youíre cute too.
[SCENE: Central Perk, later that day. Joey, Ross and Phoebe are there.]
PHOE: Hey Joey, you wanna come to this lecture with me?
JOEY: Aww, I donít wanna go listen to some weird guy talk about aromatherapy and sutff all afteroon.
ROSS: Me too, anyway, I have to gove a lecture about dinasours to some elementary school kids who are visiting the museum.
PHOE: Okay, number 1, I didnít aske you anyway Ross. Number two, Joey its not about aromatherapy, its about the paranormal. Actually, its called parapsycology, but who cares?
JOEY: Cool! Like telepathy and stuff? And people floating and ghosts and stuff like that? Thatís so cool!
PHOE: I know! So will you come?
JOEY: You bet!
[Chandler and Monica walk in]
ROSS: Hi you guys.
JOEY: Me and Phoebs are gonna learn about weird stuff!
CHAN: Thatís nice. Are you gonna have a mirror each, or use one big mirror.
PHOE: Youíre mean Mr Bing!
MNCA: anyway, wish us luck you guys.
MNCA: I have a scan at the hospital.
ROSS: Good luck, bring us back pictures!
JOEY: Ross, theyíre not going to the empire state building! Theyíre going to the hospital.
ROSS: I meant pictures of the baby, not the hospital.
PHOE: Why? The babyís not even born yet! Why Ross? Why do you want to harrass your niece slash nephew who hasnít even been born yet? Canít you wait five minutes?
MNCA: You know, I really donít like you referring to my baby as girl slash boy, or son slash daughter, its just weird.
PHOE: I didnít, I said niece slash nephew.
MNCA: Thatís kinda the same thing.
PHOE: no its not!
CHAN: Honey, we have to get going.
MNCA: Alright. But hey, we should find out the babyís sex todayÖ
CHAN: Joey! She means whether itís a boy or a girl.
MNCA: Anyway, so then will you stop calling it our son slash daughter, and all the variations on that. In fact, just donít call it anything with Ďslashí in the name.
PHOE: Better than calling him slash her Ďití!
CHAN: Alright, bye bye then!
[Chandler pushes Monica out of the door.]
[SCENE: Lecture. Phoebe and Joey are there. (not just them, obviously, but Phoebs and Joey are amoung those who are there). A proffersor guy is talking at the front.]
JOEY: Iím bored.
PHOE: me too.
JOEY: You told me this was going to be fun!
PHOE: I thought it was!
JOEY: Well, next time, donít think, okay?
[SCENE: At the hospital. Chandler, Monica and a doctor person are there. They are in a little room with one of those baby scanner thingys. Monica is lying on the bed. The doctor rubs some of that gel stuff on Monicaís stomach.]
DOC: This might feel a little cold.
MNCA: A little cold? That feels a lot cold!
CHAN: Sweetie, calm down.
DOC: Okay, if you guys look at that screen, thatís your baby.
[We see a shot of the screen. (whenever they show those on TV, I know its supposed to be really emotional and stuff, but personally, all I can ever see is a blob. I guess it has to be your baby for you to appreciate it). Monica and Chandler go gaga over it.]
CHAN: Aww. Look honey, our very own little blob to take care of forever and ever!
MNCA: Shut up, its beautiful.
CHAN: I know. I canít believe thatís inside you!
MNCA: After months of morning sickness and weight gain, I definitely can.
DOC: Would you like to know what sex it is?
CHAN: Yes please.
DOC: I think youíre going to have a little girl! And Iím sure sheíll be as beautiful as her Mommy.
MNCA: Thank you.
CHAN: Are you hitting on my fiancee? My pregnant fiancee?
DOC: Absolutely not!
CHAN: Okay then! Iím gonna have a little girl! Iím gonna have a little girl! Yippeeeeeeeeee! Iím gonna be a daddy! Yippeeeeeeeee! Iím gonna be a daddy with a little girl! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!! [does his Chandler dance]
DOC: [quietly, to Monica] Iím available you know. And I have a good doctors salary.
MNCA: No thanks, amazing as it seems, I love that dancing freak.
CHAN: She loves me! Yippeee!!!!
DOC: You want me to give him a tranquiliser?
MNCA: No, you leave that to me.
[SCENE: The lecture. Joey is asleep. Phoebe looks bored.]
LECTURER: [looking pointedly at Joey] So, Iím going to do another demonstration, to keep you all awake. [the lecturer keeps talking, but we canít hear what she is saying].
PHOE: Joey! Wake up!
JOEY: is it over?
PHOE: ĎFraid not, but the lecturerís seen you asleep.
JOEY: I wasn't asleep?
PHOE: Joey! You were snoring!
[SCENE: C&Mís apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. C&M come in.]
CHAN: Hello. Why are you in our apartment?
ROSS: We ran out of food!
RACH: Whats the matter with her?
MNCA: It is not! Why do men always blame everything that is the matter with women on hormones?!
CHAN: I dunno.
ROSS: So, uh, is it a boy or a girl?
CHAN: A girl! Iím gonna have a daughter man!
RACH: A daughter man?
MNCA: Shut up!
ROSS: Iím gonna have a niece!
CHAN: I know!
MNCA: You know, I wish Iíd taken that doctor up on that offer.
RACH: What offer?
CHAN: The doctor was hitting on her!
MNCA: He was not! And I meant giving you a tranquiliser!
ROSS: The doctor wanted to give you a tranquiliser?
CHAN: Yeah, well, I was excited.
ROSS: Not too excited, I hope.
CHAN: eww no!
ROSS: Thatís okay then. [pause] Yippeee!
CHAN: [joining in] Yippeeee!
RACH: [to Monica] Iím beginning to see what you mean.
[SCENE: Lecture. It is almost over. Joey and Phoebe are (miraculously) both still awake, but both look very, very bored.]
LECTURER: Okay, does anyone have any questions?
JOEY: Yeah, actually, I may have missed this [the people sitting near him chuckle at this] But uh, how do you know whether theyíre faking it or not?
LECTURER: The whole point of the lecture was to explain that. Would you like me to rewind for you and make you sit through it all again. I mean, I could see how interested you were while I was going through what would have answered your question for you.
JOEY: Uh huh. Come on Phoebs, weíre outta here!
[Joey and Phoebe leave the lecture]
[SCENE: Central Perk. Everyone is there.]
JOEY: Phoebe, I am never, ever going to a lecture with you again!
ROSS: So youíll come to my dinasour lectures, so long as Phoebe doesnít come too?
JOEY: Okay, I am never, ever going to a lecture, ever again.
CHAN: What? Are you okay?
MNCA: Yeah, the baby kicked thatís all.
PHOE: ooh! How is he slash she?
MNCA: Well, sheís got legs.
CHAN: Yeah, Iím having a daughter!
JOEY/CHAN: Yipeeeeee! [chandler does his Chandler Dance. He and Joey manhug.]
MNCA: Not again!
RACH: What sweetie? Are you fed up of her kicking you already?
MNCA: No its not that. Iím fed up of Chandler saying yippee! All the time!
ROSS: Hey, guys, can I join in?
GUYS: [jumping up and down and manhugging] Yippeee!!
Okay, so what do you think? I donít know whether babies really do start kicking four months into the pregnancy, but this one does, okay? By the way, the stuff about the lecture actually happened when my teacher took me and some of my friends to a lecture, except it was my teacher who fell asleep! Expect part sixteen soon. LOL, Ezika.